MLFMP5: The Romancer Turaho
by pooktales
Summary: Another holiday special! Turaho, a wary Sunwalker paladin, is asked by the Queen of Quel'thalas to investigate the disappearance of Greatfather Winter from a celebration in Thunderbluff. The Alliance is accusing King Kael'thas of the kidnapping, but it couldn't possibly be his fault… again. Can Turaho avoid a minefield of shifty Bloodknights in order to discover the truth?
1. Turaho: The Man, the Myth the Legend

The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **The timeline?** This story, like the whole MLFMP series, takes place in an alternate universe where Kael'thas survived in Outland to become King of Silvermoon. The Bloodknights responsible for saving him are still as mean and zealous as we first saw during the Burning Crusade xpac. So everyone's sexy and evil! Well, not-really-evil, just fun-and-slightly-evil.

 **Note** : This is another holiday special! Woohoo! This story helps bridge between "The Embarassing Story of How I Became a Bloodknight" (at this moment, still in progress) and "The Fangirlverse" (also in progress, in typical me-style, writing a gajillion stories at once). And it won't be very long, just a holiday short, so 3-4 chapters, maybe? But that also means the pressure is off, so I'm going to have A LOT of fun with this.

So excited, I haven't done of these in a loooong while and I even get to write about a Tauren. This story is also an homage to "The Romancer Onyxbane", certainly, and "The Romancer Greatfather Winter" which was about another investigator, the well-loved Night Elf rogue, Alessandre. Here's to another totally fun addition to the pooktales-verse: an old-school, yet wiley Pathfinder you don't want ever to cross paths with… a Tauren named Turaho.

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 **Chapter 1: Turaho Runestalker… The Man, The Myth, The Legend**

 **D** on't laugh, because every decent Tauren Pathfinder has said this at least once in his career, but I truly do think of Mulgore as a woman.

Look, give me a break here. I'm a Tauren and I just got back from a month of being trapped in Silvermoon. So I'm kind of a rundown sonofabitch at this point.

...Well, if I ever _wasn't_.

Oh, Mulgore… she's so beautiful whenever you're gone! Sure, you can miss her. The soft green curve of her hills. The powder blue of her dusk sky. Those fiery sunsets… and then you can fight with her, too. Ho man can you—it's worst when you've been away for a long time and she knows it. Whether you fly back home on a wyvern, or you stand on the bow of the zeppelin from Orgrimmar, wind in your mane, or if you've sneaked in on hoof in the night and later you're freshly up that morning, just then ready to see her properly and talk to her... Then you can feel how neglected missus Mulgore is. How, if you say the wrong thing, she'll get bright-eyed and slap you in the face. For cheating. For having been in other grasslands that weren't her sunny fields or atop her hillsides, or for not drinking from her sweet lakes. Poor thing, pretty thing. You'll never win that argument, by the way. And ontop of that, Mulgore, if we Tauren treat her right, she'll go on living and being right forever.

Maybe that comparison is little irreligious of me too, when this is the sacred land that Mu'sha gave us. But sometimes a Tauren has to roam, and nobody goes as far afield, and for stranger reasons than a Pathfinder. Us Tauren Pathfinders? We're a damned weird bunch.

Take me, for one. Pathfinder Turaho Runestalker, once a golden-colored bull, now a splotchy coffee-colored, meandery creature. In my early days, I was willing to go all the way across the ocean and into Lordaeron to help the Forsaken when the last Tauren who did that ended up wafting strange green… smoke, I guess it was, wherever she went and talking in deluded circles.

We already knew about the problem with the Royal Apothecary Society, we were already wondering about Sylvanas back then. (This was in Thrall's time, toward the end.) But hey, I was willing to go fight the good fight anyway. I was an ambitious, hopeful madman. That whole Royal Apothecary Putress mess? That was me. I was the one who uncovered it, and then they got nervous and sloppy and rushed to Northrend to unleash their plague before a certain Pathfinder could get word to our Warchief, or even to the Alliance in time. Turaho Runestalker was the reason Thrall was willing to help Sylvanas re-take the Undercity after Northrend, rather than kicking her directly out of the Horde, you know. I was the one who vouched for her.

Let's not talk about how I feel about her now that she's Warchief Sylvanas. Nobody in the Horde agrees on that… This may be a very cynical joke, but I do get about that whole 'there's no hope' thing. I'm getting on, my hocks hurt whenever it rains—if you're still hoping life gets better as the years go on, you're smoking something!*

Not too soon to make that, is it?

Another thing I'm not-so-well known for, that the storytellers won't say and the history scrolls won't show… Chief Baine always writing to King Anduin? And Anduin actually getting those letters? Another critically important Horde communication not failing at precisely the wrong time? Well, no, that's not me. I'm not the errand boy actually making his way up through Stranglethorn and entrusting in a secure chain of stops through Troll ruin after Troll ruin and then via a certain half-Troll postmaster who doesn't look it so can reside in Duskwood and deliver it safely into the hands of the Royal Stormwind Guard. (Yeah, Tim "Kumanji" Stevenson owes me one for setting him up so nice in the faction he wanted.)

However, I _am_ the Tauren who arranged for that complicated mailing system between Baine and Anduin. I, through my connections, was able to make enough deals on both sides to ensure trust and make sure the Horde can talk to the Alliance if it wants to in another important plague-like Putress crisis. I felt damn bad about that…

And last of all, you can blame me for the Goblins. All Goblins everywhere? No, I won't let you roast me for that. But Goblins in the Horde? Pretty much, that's me.

Why do you think Thrall mysteriously let the Goblins into the Horde when Gallywix was obviously some fink? Pathfinder intelligence strikes, yet again! Thrall knew that he could control Gallywix because I was on that desert island where the Bilgwater Cartel was stranded, when the Alliance was attacking and Gallywix was upset and off somewhere, stuck with his half of the Town-in-a-Box and nobody to confide in. But Thrall wanted us to keep an eye on Gallywix, so of course I went above and beyond and got enough dirt on that old Goblin to bury him, let's say, sixty-six-feet-under, and also do it the minute the rest of the Horde leadership agrees. Sylvanas, Vol'jin, Garrosh, Cairne... they all knew it then and they won't forget it. Not even from the grave. So, if those Goblins ever step out of line, if Gallywix even truly believes he _can_ , I'm fairly certain that the Horde should be secure.

My Gallywix stuff involves a failed circus he was secretly the chief investor for and several species of monkey and Gilbin that got extinct and squashed by these overgrown Elekk he was breeding together with Ogres for cheap… I won't reveal all, but it gets worse than that, if you can imagine, and I still have the, ah… proof. Regardless of how messy and tricky that proof is to keep safely preserved buried under Tanaris. Know this—one whistle in my direction and the whole of Azeroth gives Gallywix the boot, I can assure you of that.

I'm not a famous man, I'm not saying that. I'm just a very good Pathfinder. An excellent one. A Pathfinder whose path you never want to cross… Heh. I love saying that one.

A final thing about Pathfinders. Nobody does their gruntwork so thanklessly, either. Tauren aren't known for being wealthy, for sending people off on extended foreign escapades for wagonloads of gold, nor to save palaces, ransom royalty. No, we do it because our chieftan needs us. Or because someone vulnerable is in danger. We risk our lives over stuff like that. Us Pathfinders are, I guess the word is 'notorious', for not having a price tag hanging from our hides. Generally, we Pathfinders can't be bought. What we do, we do for our family. Maybe it's our Horde family or our Forsaken family, or an extended Azerothian family. And, ontop of that, all Tauren are a very close-knit family. (Grimtotem tribe excepted at the moment.) Pathfinders will do almost anything for our own. "Herd" is the proper phrase, though that's an old word we don't use much anymore, not since the Orcs joined with us and gave old Cairne weird looks for using it. We Tauren, even among the races of the Horde, are constantly in danger of being called animals. As if that would really be so offensive…

Oh, by the way, that arsehole Flight Master that overcharged me by a few gold (I'm still angry thinking about that) when I landed in Thunderbluff a couple days ago is _not_ my family. I am going to smack him toothless one day with the very good, three-fingered left hook I have. When in the heck did Azeroth get so danged expensive? I remember when it was just fifty copper to fly from Orgrimmar over to Thunderbluff… But then again, the Alliance didn't have shaman either in those days, and a hunter's mark was a proper big red arrow over your head. Damn I miss how fun and demoralizing those used to be in the battlegrounds!

So. Women. That's the last thing I need to touch on before I start this account of my actions, before anyone accuses me of anything, uh, inappropriate. I didn't seduce anyone, I didn't set out to have a romance or steal anyone's anything, though maybe a few women still out there might be more than glad enough to remind the courts of Azeroth that I did used to get sidetracked by a pair of eyes and a nice tail (especially if there was no actual, wagging tail), while on my missions.

Yes, I confess that I was a very handsome bull, once. Not that I'm an ugly mug now. Thankfully, at least horns don't age and they suggest a kind of… eheh, virility, whatever your race. Anyway—I used to have this… flair that I didn't really even understand what it was, only that it worked. Show up, toss your horns, let them get a look at that shining gold hide and smile. I used to have it easy. Then over the years, I had to work harder and harder, especially for non-Tauren women. My hooves began to drag a bit, my jokes didn't seem to be so crisp. You know, like that old Hunter's Mark gag I just tried on you? And the bad Sylvanas joke I made earlier. Like that.

Gods and ancestors! I admit now that getting older and becoming less of a romancer was starting to depress me. It felt like I was finally all out of luck with the dames. Just wanna prove I'm no cassanova, I didn't get into this mission for that, no matter how the Knights of the Blood Nexus try to put it. I actually hate how love sort of, lassoed me in at my age and dragged me all over the place like a big idiot when I was trying to do my real work. And I did sense it would probably be my very last mission for the Pathfinders, by the way. I think that made my misery worse. So, all that's officially in my defense.

Hey, so what if I also claim now that I was going through some sort of mid-life panic? Would that get me off clean? (Wait, I guess I can't come out and announce that and expect any kind of entity of justice, to take it serious.) But I mean, to let myself get so agitated by King Kael'thas Sunstrider himself, that punk, and then play his little matador game the way I did! While Greatfather Winter was in the middle of it, too. And every time I think of that Kael'thas now, I see so much RED…

Actually, I wonder what Tauren women who are Pathfinders think of the mother-land while they're gone? It's not pertinent to my mission, but I figure, all things being equal, and this is maybe my last good chance to reflect, I should at least try to end my little 'about me' bit with something that doesn't make me sound like some kind of bulls-only boy. Not like Kael'thas. At least I'm not _that_ outdated.

Well, I did ask one, once, a woman Pathfinder. But she's someone I'm not on very good terms with these days, so I might be a bit biased now that I'm recounting the conversation.

I said something to her like, "Does Mulgore feel like a long lost lover to you, Meydiri, whenever you return home? I think I miss her about that much when I'm gone."

"Turaho, you're an idiot."

Did you see her go for the throat there? After I actually went out of my way to try. I'm also clearly far too bitter about females to bother trying to get involved with another one. So, more proof of my innocence!

"…Right, but what's your answer?" I said, "How would you describe your particular relationship with Mulgore? How does a woman Pathfinder see it?"

Meydiri still resisted, determined to stare down the Mulgore sunset warming our naked bodies (more on that later), "Look, Turaho. You can have actual real emotions, you know. Your whole brain doesn't have to be so one-track."

I kept my mouth shut rather than say what I really wanted to say, right then, near the obvious end of our relationship.

Meydiri with her sage amethyst eyes found her way back to when she was good and ready, "Mulgore is just my home sometimes, Turaho. It's land. Maybe the flight master does charge too much when you get finally get back here. Maybe the constant drumming gets annoying at times. Maybe you're glad to race through the plains on kodo-back, or not, if it's raining, I don't know. But I don't need to have some sexual fantasy about it to make me feel better."

"But you do love it? You miss it and feel like you've got a part of you back once you're home again?" Maybe it was another way for me to find out if I was getting too old and too weird, I guess. That kept slipping out.

She resumed inspiring me whether I wanted it or not. Sweet girl, "I find my sense of home more in people, rather than places. I've learned that over the years, after so many missions. Turaho, maybe if you thought that way and invested more in your relationships with people…"

I can't remember what she was talking about after that, actually. My mind had circled back to the fact that I had said absolutely nothing about sexual fantasies, and she'd accused me of it, so she was being unfair. Eh, I was nitpicking. Then again, I am nearly touching upon a romantic fantasy now with this season's mission, so I guess now that's another stupid point in Meydiri's court. Anyway…

"…and honestly, that's what I've been waiting for you to do, Turaho. It could heal so much about us."

I hadn't heard that part. Which also means I hadn't actually meant to speak over her, "Ah, I see! So you feel at home right now, with me, because I'm here, and I'm looking out over Mulgore with you. So that actually proves my point in the first place! Meydiri, you complain too much."

Our conversation did not end as well as you think. Actually, it was our last conversation. Not that I'm bitter. She bit _me._

Still not laughing? Damn, I must be very rusty.

Welp. I, Turaho Runestalker, have an important decision to make tonight. A life-changing one. So I think it's important to sit down now that it's all over and write down as much as I can remember about what has happened, before it strikes midnight. Last day of the year. Last month of the year. Last chance to make up my mind about which way this old Pathfinder is going to go. Being honest, I'm a very good hunter who never felt so lost.

So where's the beef? Well to sum it up, the Blood Elves have made me an offer and I'm very tempted to take it and make the biggest mistake of my life. And also make the worst enemies in my life because it will involve burning the last of my bridges here in Mulgore. Missus Mulgore will definitely dump me too, at long last.

And I thought this graying bull was done with drama and foolishness. I'm getting too old for this crap…

By the way, I hadn't even heard of the Knights of the Blood Nexus back then, let alone that they were Blood Elves-only. Just wanna be clear, in case you sense this feels like a set-up.

Whatever her true intentions, meeting Saturna Sunstrider on that day one month ago, at that time in my life, I assure you, it was my fate.

 _Of all the huts in Mulgore, she had to walk into mine…_

Additional Note:

*In this universe, Sylvanas has not burned down Teldrassil, but I really couldn't resist making that 'no hope' joke for LOLs. Turaho really is bitter right now!


	2. Saturna Sunstrider

**Disclaimer** : The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Saturna Sunstrider**

 _So then, since I've wandered, I'll circle back, as a good Mulgore storyteller often goes in a perfect hoop, and begin again…_

When I first got to Mulgore a month ago, these fat, fluffy snowflakes were coming down everywhere. Being a Pathfinder, I was pretty pissed about that. I pay attention to the weather patterns, and I even read the _Golden Plains Almanac_ which is an extremely dry collaboration by all the Tauren farmers over the generations, ever—so I did not expect such a wet winter right around the time I was coming back. I would have waited up in perfectly dry, cozy Orgrimmar for a couple more days, if so. Instead, I had to get down from my kodo and drag him, hard, because he hadn't seen me in ages, and apparently, Suba acted like I had only got him out of the stable (after an overly expensive wyvern flight, too), just to pull him for miles in a sudden, stupid blizzard. Every mile or so, he stopped and chuffed that he wasn't going. I'll sell Suba for kodo stew one of these days…

The night had been clear up until then. It was very strange. Stars, a perfect moon, the whole thing. But then, as we approached the hills at the edge of the southern plain that cradle Mulgore and kept out the bleak horrors of Desolace, it was like missus Mulgore had finally caught me out and she was punishing my slow butt for being away for so long. I think I panicked and turned back at one point to face Thunderbluff again. I wondered if I should just be a coward and retreat. What if the hills and my hut weren't any better off? I remember, just as I was thinking of running away again, a crack of lightning—and I do mean a roaring whip-crack and not like a seam of whimpy little, 'Oof, didn't mean to hit ya' lightning, it ignited the air all over the tops of the four rises. Windmills, yawning totem heads, carved staring eyes, everything, lit up. Everything menacing all of a sudden, and screaming out. That must be what other races see, when they first come to Thunderbluff. And Mu'sha only knows what the Alliance sees in us Tauren…

The eruption of crackling white happened right over the head of some poor bird. Some big dark thing, its wings all spread out and getting fried. Then the thunder quaked once more, and light seeped back into the snow-streaked darkness. Poor, crispy thing… That could have been me.

"Alright, missus Mulgore, I hear ya! I'm goin, I'm goin…" I dragged my brown kodo to the cave right before the footpath up to my place in the hills. Thank goodness we were still headed in the right direction. I made a fire and decided that both of us should wait out the rest of the storm exactly there.

I had some Mulgore Fire Water in a flask, downed that. Next, I poured some into my hand and let my kodo try and lap it up. Yeah, don't try this at home, giving drink to animals—but I was worried Suba was frozen to the bone and it should have warmed him up at least, while the fire tried to establish itself.

"Eh, what do you think, Suba, you old rag-and-bones? If Thunderbluff had been expecting Greatfather Winter anytime soon, his flying sleigh of Gnomes and holiday deer would have been tossed around like mad in a storm like that."

Suba grunted. You know, that soft friendly way the kodos always do. A kodo could be cussing you out and you'd never know.

"Maybe he should have used you instead? He'd have done better with a mean old, tough kodo like you." I patted Suba and then swept a strong hand down his shoulders, used it as an excuse to check out his legs and his flank. Suba was okay, the storm hadn't really chilled him or hurt him. Then, I sat against my animal—Tauren can warm _them_ up sometimes, I've learned. Other races do it the other way around if they're caught on a cold night or some other crisis. But I could keep my kodo alive.

One last drink. Then, I forced myself to stopper it. My hoof-tips were starting to burn, if you can believe it. Fire water! After that, I laughed, imagining the mad old red-suited Dwarf and his minions even attempting to tumble over Mulgore in such a storm, just to make an entrance, just to get his gold…

How stupid was this holiday? How ridiculous had life become, that the old bulls like me will struggle through storms to be away from cheery people, and that an old Dwarf will fling himself around the globe in a clap-trap spectacle for a chance at good money in order to pay his Ironforge taxes at years' end, let's be honest, and for pretty Elves in skimpy costumes to come sit in his lap!

"Pathetic!" I heard myself shouting. The cave echoed it back in my ears, whether I wanted it or not. And I'm fairly certain that old Suba grunted at me, in Kodo-ese, to stop whining about yet another holiday and just go to sleep already for the love of—

Next morning. Warm cinnamon milk brought the world back down to the level of something soft and sweet and possibly not out to get Turaho Runestalker, personally. I'd hiked up to the hut. I was at least able to unpack a tea kettle and a bowl for some dried porridge from the kodo. Oh, and my tin cup. I had decided to leave my Suba behind at the cave at the base of the path, since I hadn't really finished the kodo shelter I was building up in the hills and I couldn't put my poor, tired beast through that for no reason.

The burdens of my journey from Ashenvale were already wafting away, and I imagined that I must look shaggy as a hibernating druid bear, which suited me just fine, because that was pretty close to what I was about to do.

Much of the snow had already melted away. So everything was as wet as spring, though it was almost freezing, but that, too, would wane. As An'she came out, and then the sun continued to rise and rise… I'd be fine. Mulgore had forgiven me.

I toasted the dawn. I always do, "Here's to ruminating for as long and as pathetically as I could possibly desire. Alone, and holiday-free!" And then another, much louder, "And this time, I'm not going back DOWN again until you bid me to do it! To Mulgore!" That echoed over the hills.

The porridge was starting to smell really good, I remember, when I first heard the hoofbeats that weren't my own. Kodos, sure. But the other particular vibration, more like rolling rocks, less like rolling thunder—experienced Pathfinders know the difference—that worried me. That meant horses. And this far south of the Barrens? That should have meant the Alliance.

Suba went running out of the cave, into the plain. I could tell his four slow feet apart from the others. That meant these strangers were coming for me, to the footpath up to my hut. It was the only warning I was going to get.

Would you believe, I cussed and hesitated over whether I should put out the fire and ruin my porridge? My other option—as an initiate Sunwalker, even at my age and with my experience as a huntsman, I was not supposed to have a gun still. But then again, I'm not an idiot, so I had a serviceable, loaded shotgun in stow anyway. So in those final moments before my life was invaded and changed forever, I was in a panic. Gun or porridge?

I'm getting to be such a fussy old man, I swear—I decided to keep the fire and all the smoke it was making to give me away, but then I grabbed my gun. I crawled on my belly to the edge of the cliff. All that to keep the porridge from getting cold.

I saw that the horses were wearing red and gold armor, and yes, it was sinister looking. But they were flanked on all sides by kodo. One of them I recognized, since it was wearing chieftan's drums on the sides. These were cinched a certain way to silence them since it wasn't wartime and nobody wanted their poor ears blown out. And then, of course, the man riding atop that beautifully bred animal was even more welcome in my eyes. Really, it was a shock. Chief Baine Bloodhoof and what looked like a squad of Blood Elves were heading directly to my footpath. To my hut! But why? And why now, good grief!

Damn, I really didn't want to share any of my porridge…

Instantly, I felt bad about my appearance. While I was dealing with the Night Elves in Ashenvale, I'd let my fur grow out. Didn't trim my hooves, none of it. I was letting myself become a crochety old Tauren eager to sleep through Winter's Veil, though I wasn't truly old yet. I'd say I'm older than Chief Baine by about ten years, but much, much younger than his old father Cairne. I still miss Cairne.

I squeezed into a clean tunic at the least. Then, I tried to push the meager furniture and cushions around the place so the hut looked less cluttered, but gave up and decided to meet them outside. That way, they wouldn't feel tempted to come in and join me. I quickly made more cinnamon milk for them, instead. Irrationally, I hoped that would somehow help. Then again, there could never be enough cinnamon-milk in the world. It's always worth making. It's too good.

I shouldn't have made such a bother. My uninvited guests took their time coming up the path. Baine had come up here only once before, and it had been a shock then, too. Baine would have known that there wasn't room for all their mounts at the top, so he took his time showing the others where to tie up the horses and kodos. I chose the spot for my place very well; there's an echo along the eastern ridge where the rock rises a little higher, so I can actually hear the voices if anyone's talking on their way up. I can also usually guess if there's a cougar or a wolf coming—you can't hear assassins or paws from ontop of a hill, can you? But I would always hear snorts, snarls and voices.

I was impressed with Baine very patiently informing the Blood Elves that everything would be fine, even if there weren't enough trees to tie the horses up the way they were used to in Quel'thalas. Even if their animals did wander off, they wouldn't get far because it's Mulgore, after all, and pretty well enclosed. (Nobody's Thalassian Charger was going to wander off and get into Thousand Needles to be slaughtered by the Grimtotem, or hacked apart by Alliance in the Southern Barrens.) Well, don't blame them for worrying, Mulgore isn't _their_ mother. I wondered why Chief Baine was being so very cautious? He was treating them all like a nest full of eggs.

A woman's voice kept traveling up the rock. It was hollow in a way, like a flute. I couldn't understand what she was saying, why everyone was so agitated. A part of me wondered if this was some sophisticated, I dunno… cloaking spell? So the Elf leaders don't have to worry about eavesdroppers? Who knows what magical technology the Nightborne had passed on to their cousins by now!

Honestly, I'm very uncomfortable with yet another Elf race being in the Horde anyway, and I'm waiting for the coup to happen any day...

The other Blood Elves were irritated, but trying hard not to talk over this woman. All bows and scraping, various forms of polite deference. I guessed she was in charge. The Tauren braves with them weren't saying anything at all, but it's our land. We Tauren should have been running the whole show. Now, wasn't that even stranger? What the heck was going on?

Whenever I go out on a mission, whenever I have to guess about the people I'm going to meet in strange new places, I rarely guess wrong. It's always good to at least try to read others first and prepare. So far, I had little sleep due to the cold, the porridge was boiling over, and I was prepared for nothing in my own home. Ugh…

As they made their way hiking up the hill, the lead woman sounded more and more like she was on some charming holiday on a tropical island, eventhough she was in cold, soaking wet Mulgore, and surrounded by hideously efficient Bloodknight killers. (Not sorry. My opinion of Bloodknights in general. Paladins are a whole other species if you ask me.) This lady kept gasping or overacting at how 'beaaaautiful' everything was. And she would have sensed that they were getting close to my house, that the householder might be able to hear her.

Well, there might be something in that—she was going far out of her way to be polite, right? So then, who or what was she already making nicey-nice for?

Maybe the Bloodknights were short on something, in need of something. Us Tauren were the only ones who could give it. And Chief Baine had thought it safer not to let them have whatever it was just yet. He wanted to consult with me first.

I felt honored. _For like a second._

I went and put away my gun, tucking it behind one of the wood posts just inside the hut. Best to play along and let Baine lead this little delegation. I hated to be unarmed around so many leery Blood Elf paladins, though.

Baine didn't smile when he greeted me, though the energy of our guest should have merited it. Tauren are different. When someone tells us there is a problem, then we set the tone. We keep it there. No need to pretend. I notice that other races, especially the Elves, will try and keep a smile on or stay off the subject since they think that's easier, or more polite. That was how I knew, right away, that this woman had come to Baine with a real serious problem, and that she was afraid. That is, she was trying to cover her fear before a stranger.

Fear. Need. If this was supposed to be the woman in charge, then she was sorely out of her depth. I'd have to try much harder not to be condescending, then. Though, I already sensed how this was going to play out. Badly, for her. I was about to hang whoever this schmuck, or schmuk-ette was, out to dry.

Baine looked exhausted and it was only a couple of hours, or three after dawn.

I'd seen Baine Bloodhoof that way, only once before. He and I were blind-drunk on Mulgore Firewater and we'd been up, smoking pipes and chasing spirits all night long… Okay, that sounds bad. I'll start at the beginning-I don't claim to know Chief Baine Bloodhoof, _personally_. I once had a touch-and-go, 'I have the nicest hut up in the hills, where there's plenty of game to shoot—you know, you should come sometime!' conversation with him at one of those do's on Elder Rise. And I was only on Elder Rise because I was from one of those big important bloodlines where, if your older brother is sick or busy or has run off to Sun Rock Retreat with a leggy Tauren girl who's got cute polka-dot spots on her hide, then it's your turn to go to Thunderbluff instead and represent the family. When I invited Baine himself to come hang out with me, I was nervous and drinking. When Baine actually showed up a few weeks after his father died, we ended up having a very sobering conversation. Baine went into this heartfelt, exhausted account of how he really felt about losing his father, and the Horde, worries over the late Vol'jin, and now Warchief Sylvanas, lots of things. You know, that's called 'chasing spirits', when Tauren sit together and we wax and we wane about all we've lost in life. Baine told me lots of things I could never bring myself to tell anyone else about my own chief. And nothing that could change my esteem for the poor kid. Well, kid—hell! Baine's a grown man, just a generation younger than me. But I guess that's how I see most young people these days. We get older, they keep getting younger…

I think I somehow earned Baine's trust on that night because I never blabbed about that conversation. In time, Baine was able to make eye contact with me again, he was able to speak to me normally around Thunderbluff, and whenever we did, I never brought up the past.

Baine gave me the same helpless look now that he had first given me on the night I offered him a pipe and my flask, and then he bared his soul. I walked up to him, really wanting to ask what was going on, but instead rubbed my hands together. The Bloodknights then made it to the top of the hill, and we soon lost our privacy.

The Bloodknights were all in red and black plate, and these faceguards that framed their faces like lion's manes. A note—those things don't actually protect their heads, in my opinion. They're just these… visors that show off their hairstyles and enable them to make all kinds of superior looks while they're beating you up.

Baine clearly hated everything about this too, but kept things formal, "Pathfinder Turaho…"

I inclined my head with respect, "Good morning, Chief Baine. It is an honor." No, it really wasn't. My porridge was going to burn any moment.

Now everyone was waiting for the woman. She was lagging far behind Baine and the rest, talking to a helpless straggler Warbrave about tiny white flowers she'd found on a bush, a surprise this time of year.

Okaaay…

Baine grabbed me, gave a harsh whisper, "If you love Mulgore, then please, _behave._ "

"What does that mean? I'm older than you are and I behave fine."

"It's just that she's… Well, she's—"

The Bloodknights began to stare. Baine shut his mouth.

Eyup. I was about to help him out again with something else that was too big for him. I couldn't exactly say, 'Well, you're a growing boy! Good luck!' and go back to my porridge.

At last, the woman squeezed stepped through the line of Bloodknights and Warbraves. She took her place beside Chief Baine.

"May I present…" though Baine was trying to keep things the right tone when this was clearly some form of emergency, I picked up mischief and amusement in his voice just at the last moment, "Queen Saturna Arcanelia Whiteblade Blaize Sunstrider, who is also Matriarch of the Thalassian Bloodknights."

"Queen Saturna Sunstrider is fine, Baine. I keep reminding you of that—"

"Wait. Did Liadrin retire?!" I spat out, rather stupidly. I don't normally slip like that. But I was dizzied by all the fancy names, and that this was a _queen_ , and then this sudden announcement that Lady Liadrin was no longer even the Blood Elf matriarch?

Baine got serious again, and offended in a flash, "Queen Saturna now leads them. We don't question it."

Queen Saturna. I saw a dark, velvety cloak, at first. It was hanging off the shoulders of a woman I kept telling myself that I could see. But it was hard to see her. I could see through her, to the rocks, to the bush by the empty path with its tiny winter flowers. And more disorienting, Saturna had plucked a twig of those flowers and was holding them in her gauntleted hand. For a few moments, I couldn't tell where she was, standing back there down the path, or standing closeby. One of her Bloodknights must have recognized the problem and politely stepped into the space, using his dark armor to close the gap.

Up until that moment, for me, her blue cloak could have been floating in the air…

Saturna, when I could finally see her better, was somehow blue. As pale blue as a seam of sky, running along the tops of the Mulgore hills in that moment. It distracted me. I almost missed the chance to do my proper bow. Sometimes, you make an allowance with women and just tell your brain not to stare because they're doing something new with makeup or their hair or jewelry. But this was Saturna's actual skin, what she was made of. Queen Saturna was a ghost. How…? I tried hard to remember my Elven history in that moment, but failed.

She and the other Blood Elves had been waiting on me for a goodly while to cease freaking out, my eyes darting all over the place, trying to settle on something solid and not keep seeing through their queen.

So, that was it. That was the first impression Queen Saturna Sunstrider always made on people. I could see how everyone had come to slow down, hear her out, give her whatever she wanted. No, not in that way… more like if you find a dog with a broken leg by the side of the road. You bundle them up and take them home, you give them warm milk, and a bath, a place in your own home, by the fire.

One look at Saturna and your mind flooded with shame and empathy for whatever tragic end she must have faced to be still wandering the world, trying to live out her life as a spectre. And even the ones who should have been used to her kept a stride back, unwilling to chance getting too close. It made me think of Sylvanas. But, no, Sylvanas is terrifying. Saturna had the aura of a young widow. Freshly hurt, terrified of being left to carry on.

I won't make the obvious joke here, about Saturna being better off as a widow, rather than being stuck married to Kael'thas and left to carry on…

But there was one advantage in it that I could also see. It was happening before our eyes right then, in fact. Few testers, you know the ones who always try to unseat the alphas? Even in the greatest herds, those challengers can't argue with death, bereavement. And Saturna had wanted to take a fine stroll up to see me, and talk loudly about how fine everything was. It was a waste of everyone's time. But nobody, not even Baine, had stopped her.

And I guessed another thing. Saturna forcing across so much pleasantness, it wasn't just because she was an overly-polite Elf. Saturna must have learned that it also made her seem more lively. When she was happy, when she was more upbeat, she was far easier for strangers to accept and not be frightened of. So there you go. Her strolling up to my hut, her pretending everything was okay… It was a strategy, but not the one I was thinking of. Never judge a book by its cover. Pale, deathly Saturna would have looked very defeated, otherwise.

"Here I am." Her voice, again, had that hollow lilt. But her smile, about the flowers, was still hanging on. Saturna bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement of me, and then extended a hand with a large dark ring on it for me to kiss. No, what she meant was, 'Whatever they think, I am still here. Dammit—I will live on.' I could feel it. It hurt me, too. My mother was a shaman. I'd met a lot of lost spirits in my lifetime.

Baine opened his mouth, to see me actually take the slender fingers offered and give Saturna what she expected in her position. Big Tauren or not, I genuflected (I think) and gently kissed the ancient ring on her little hand. Saturna had only just arrived, but I knew that someone like her would have struggled for years to have people think her a real person, not a ghoul, not a monster, not a waste of their space and time in the world of the living, and so grant her merely that.

I came back up stone-faced to cover for how rude I'd been initially. I donned the seriousness of a Warbrave. Baine looked relieved. Perhaps he thought I'd fallen off the Tauren-wagon for a few moments.

She gestured lightly, as if she were asking the time, "I asked Chief Baine to introduce me to a capable Tauren."

Charming. But that still explained nothing. I would be patient, for now. Sometimes, a damsel in distress has to work her way up to the big confession. Baine seemed annoyed that I hadn't asked them inside, yet. Great. I extended an arm for the whole entourage of Warbraves, Bloodknights, a Blood Elf Queen and the Tauren Chief to try and fit inside my tiny hut.

"…This is my first time in the hills of Mulgore and in, um… a hut." Saturna quickly amended, with a warm smile, "And it is a lovely hut. Truly."

Once again, the Warbraves knew better. They stayed outside and helped themselves to the cinnamon-milk. They didn't offer any to the Elves, either.

I began to show Saturna around. Almost literally. It was one room. The whole hut was a circle. I'm used to huts, but even I started to feel silly.

Saturna wanted to know about the glass beads hanging in a curtain, an animal hide I'd cured myself and stretched over a frame, some dusty pillows on the floor. Saturna then reached out to touch one of my dreamcatchers that was hanging up. Her index finger disappeared.

I cautioned, too late, "Oh! That one eats… nightmares."

Baine let out a tired breath. I guessed that he'd been wrestling with such indiscretions from other Tauren all morning. So I wasn't their first stop, eh?

Saturna brought her hand back, clutched at the golden brooch fastened around her cloak. It was a phoenix. The Thalassian seal. It was platinum, actually. I could tell. I'd hunted down enough treasure thieves over the years. It was very beautifully crafted.

As she was beautifully crafted. Anyway…

"Are all these the tools of your profession?" she asked next.

I narrowed eyes at Baine. He urged me to get on with it. You know, the old 'mystical Tauren' thing he was clearly pulling to make me seem more important than I was. Baine knew very well that I was a Pathfinder, only that. Now I was supposed to play it up and impress some Elf queen with it.

I did the little dance, 'Oh, by the elements!' and 'The mighty sun, the moon, the stars, all the spirits…' you know. But my mind was actually racing with the maelstrom of rumors I'd heard about this woman. I needed to catch up on my Blood Elf facts and fast.

Saturna Sunstrider. She was supposed to be just a ghost. Or, she was made of the Sunwell. No, she wasn't. She had been Kael'thas' mistress at the Black Temple. She had a catfight with Jaina Proudmoore once, and pulled out some of her hair. Right? She'd headbutted Sylvanas in the middle of a battle when Kael'thas directed her to do it. She was a Deathknight. No, she was never a Deathknight. Arthas had only tried to corrupt her. Saturna had ended her marriage with Kael'thas exactly twelve times. True or false? Queen Saturna couldn't leave him anymore because Kael'thas had somehow conjured her back to life like one of his demon pets and the truth was finally out about that. Had that happened? None of their children were even legitimately his… maybe.

Probably every strange article that I had read about her in _Goblin Gentleman's Magazine_ (oops, well at least you know there's a chance I do buy it for the articles) did a tornado twister in my head while I pretended to be some sage and not a miscreant who reads dirty Goblin mags.

Saturna then stopped at a large old totem that was a bit battered because, well, I'd been battered with it a few times as a calf. By my mother. When I was being bad. Trust me, I needed a few good whackings back then. I still had it because I thought it was funny my mother kept it—it was among the things at her house when she died—or maybe I was planning to burn it out of revenge in a gargantuan bonfire, I wasn't sure yet.

I folded hands behind my back, strutted up sagely. I said in my best, low booming Tauren voice, "Ah, an old family relic. Very symbolic to my bloodline. It was my mother's…"

"His mother was a powerful shamaness. My father Cairne honored Farseer Akeisha once in a ceremony before the whole tribe."

That was true. Baine wasn't lying about that one.

"Well, these days, my mother mostly uses her rare power over the spirit world to visit me on holidays and give me a hard time."

Saturna gasped and looked up at me. Afraid, or intrigued, she couldn't have known yet, "Does she? Does your mother really?"

I shrugged, "We usually end up playing checkers. I suppose I'm more comfortable about spirits, erm, like yourself, because of my mother. In a way, I grew up with them…" I rattled off a few funny stories about having a ghost wolf pet for a summer. (Poor Ma hoped she wouldn't have to explain death to me that way, and I would still get the pet dog I wanted, but somehow it didn't work out.) And then one time as a teenager, when my mom was furious with me and also sick with a bad fever, I got a freshly slain, vengeful Grimtotem babysitter rather than getting to go to the summer corn dance.

Saturna smiled, but then it turned sad. She continued to stride elegantly about my hut. I kept looking from her to the other Bloodknights who'd assembled themselves along the wall. I scanned their faces for anyone I might have recognized. Let's see, what did I remember from old Burning Crusade articles… a fiery, smartmouthed redhead who needed smacking? No. A blonde, demon-obsessed pervert? No, not as such… How about the axe-wielding seductress who slept her way through all of Tempest Keep? Damn! So all the good ones were missing. Not that I could really tell, but I figured they might have certain… looks on their faces? Usually I can pick out the troublemakers in a group. I guessed all these were newbies.

Something else that got me, too. It wasn't fear in their eyes, or really respect. That wasn't what kept them from testing Saturna the alpha. There was something deeper. Something intense, something almost… cult-like? None of them would relax. No matter how casually Saturna was behaving, no matter what we were saying to her, all of us friendly, they looked ready to kill me and Baine both, with one whistle from this lady. Like trained dogs.

I made up my mind immediately that I didn't like it. I'd had enough.

"Welp. This was nice of you all to drop by. You know, if you'd like to see an authentic tipi next, my neighbor has a few set up behind his hunting lodge, about an hour's hike from here along the switchback. He's wise to tourists by now, though, so he may charge you…"

Saturna turned on me, just as annoyed, "Why do you live in a hut, Pathfinder Turaho, isolated so far away from everyone else?"

"Well, there's nothing wrong with living in a hut." I could feel Baine glaring at me again, "But, actually I do have a log house. I was never there, being a Pathfinder. I'm always traveling. And a family in our village was growing with more little ones. They needed it more than me, so I just moved in with my cousins instead. We're all over in Bloodhoof Village. That's not far from here. As a hobby, I started building this place to get some peace from them."

I squeezed around, to walk away from Saturna a few steps. Undead or dead things should be cold. She was warm, and there was this… I could swear it was an artificial heartbeat. It was too even, and I didn't need to hear it. Usually, you can't sense something like that unless you're standing almost ontop of someone, or lying in bed with them. It was starting to annoy me that someone out there, probably Kael'thas, had given her such a body. More than a ghost, infused with his magic. Another bad thought to set aside for much, much later.

"Turaho, are you saying to me that you just gave your home away? Because others were more in need?"

"I guess Orcs and Elves and things don't do that. Pretty normal, here. The village helped me build that house in the first place, and so it wasn't completely mine to begin with. I mean, it's not like lending someone your toothbrush."

Baine smoothed that over, "Communal property. It's as if Turaho gave the family the remainder of his pitcher full of water. Why watch them be thirsty?"

"How noble the Tauren are."

No, it was normal, or should have been. I have plenty of ignoble qualities. Well, fine. One point for me, then. I needed some good points.

Saturna closed the distance between us again. And all the little trinkets in my hut behind her faded into the cool milk of her being. Can't tell you how I'm sure, but, she was gaining confidence and that was the thing now changing her blue aura to white, to looking more normal.

"Baine. He's passed the first test."

Baine smiled with relief, "Oh, good. Please, everyone, sit."

The Bloodknights only sat down when Saturna motioned for them to. I was asking what 'the test' even was on my way down. In that scattered moment when all the Elves were worried about sitting on the floor, Baine nudged me, hard, to shut up.

Two of the Bloodknights walked to the rolled away thatch entrance and remained on their feet, hands resting over their swords. Each man and woman there had a black shield on their back, emblazoned with the red phoenix. Cute, but I was pretty sure I could use my horns to bowl them over and toss them both aside in a pinch. And Baine, who was bigger and younger than me, could likely crash through a hut wall if he needed to make his own exit.

Now that Saturna was more calm, sort of… solidified, I was able to look at her features like any normal mortal woman. She looked far too young to be a queen, and also somehow a mother of three. Probably due to more of Kael'thas' vain magic. With the Bloodknights' so-called devotion making me sick and her sashaying about my hut in an unnecessary fog of mystery, I decided that I wasn't as impressed as I first was. …

"Taur-ra-ho? Have I been saying that correctly?"

I got back into things. Being in the moment, rather than reading her between the moments. Saturna was nervous about mispronouncing my name. "Um, sort of. It's not… it isn't like the word, 'Tauren', like you've been doing. It's more like, taking a 'turn'. You turn right into it, 'Tur-ah-ho.'"

"Ah. That's nice. I assumed it was more complicated." Saturna smiled, embarrassed.

Baine tried, "It's an old name. I think it means… 'Tauren man'? No, 'Tauren man in charge' because of the inflection? Something like that? 'Boss-man?' "

I nodded at the last one to help and just get this going. Hell if I know what my name actually means. I'd been trying to figure out since forever. Mainly, I think it's an in-joke among my prankster uncles. Honestly, I was more concerned that my porridge was past-burnt. (I think one of the Warbraves outside wisely kicked dirt over the campfire to put it out.) I also felt that a queen, especially an elven queen, should be able to manage herself a lot better, and at least tell me why she'd crash-landed onto my hut. Baine should have taken over by now, but must've already tried that a few times at other Taurens' homes already and it hadn't gone well.

Then, all of a sudden it was coming in a deluge, "Are you a full paladin? You surely have the mindset for it. A sense of justice, helping others…"

"Technically, I only—"

Then, before I could answer, "No, you aren't. You're not a full Sunwalker yet. I could feel that as well, but I wanted to confirm."

"Look, I took all my rites. I just haven't been initiated yet."

She raised a blonde eyebrow, quick, "And just why not?"

Then I was back on the novice's bench, fumbling about how I hadn't done my Light exercises.

"I'm a grown up, I'll do it when I feel good and ready to. What's this finally about?"

Saturna looked over at Baine, accusing him of something. Baine flickered his ears backward, itched behind his neck, rather than take issue with it.

Her voice dipped at me, "You're grown up, alright."

I must've flinched. What was that? What was she doing to me just now? Then Saturna patted my arm, claimed that it was alright.

Now, Baine was looking completely the other way.

Next, came her whisper, "I need your help. I really do."

Wait… wait. First I have a nice hut. Then I'm not good enough of a paladin. Now she's feeling up my arm, telling me to relax? She was all over the place! Then, I got it. Saturna was good at the paladin part, coming in with her minions, reading how well versed I was with the Light. She was managing with the queen part; she knew how to win me over and get me to take her seriously as a member of the Sunstrider royal family. But she wasn't good at all of it, though, like the part where she needed to spy on me and trick me into doing whatever she wanted.

I heated, "Then you'd better tell me, now, why you think a Blood Elf queen needs to flirt with a Tauren in a hut, just to fix another one of Kael'thas' TERRIBLE problems!"

Now, the other Blood Elves started complaining. Finally, they talk, but only to put down their host. Saturna waited and let them finish insulting me.

But I'd embarrassed her. She would have to clear her name, immediately. No more nonsense.


	3. My Husband Is Innocent

**Disclaimer** : The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Notes** : Technically, in this alternate universe, both Saturna and Liadrin consider Bloodknights to be separate from Alliance paladins, just like they were during the Burning Crusade. But that's a long, long story… If you want more info, see Liadrin's speech during "MLMFP 2: Son of Kael'thas", Chapter 7: Seven Meetings, part 2.

Also, if you want to know how the first Greatfather Winter kidnapping went down at Tempest Keep, 'tis the season! Go right ahead. See, "MLFMP 2: Son of Kael'thas", Chapter 12: Kael'thas' Winter's Veil Party for Naughty Boys and Girls Who Can't Act Good.

Yep, this has become _that_ big. I got cliffnotes.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: My Husband Is Innocent**

Baine covered his mouth. I wasn't sure if he was getting ready to laugh or freak out that I'd ruined his short career as chieftan. I wished he'd settle down. Come on, man, this is how Tauren are _supposed_ to handle things, straight up! That's the look I sneaked him.

Saturna let out a resigned breath, "Please, hear me out. More than a decade ago, my son was only four years old. He was very ill, we didn't know whether or not he would see another Winter's Veil. And I suppose… it was left to Kael'thas to make the decision about how to spend our son's first and possibly last… holiday. As far as Kael'thas or anyone knew, I was a dead." She looked down, "What Kael'thas decided to do then, for Belorim, he did out of great compassion and desperation. And, because Greatfather Winter would have never come to Tempest Keep of his own volition."

I let out a low whistle, "Greatfather Winter? In the lion's den?"

And then I thought back. This did seem familiar. Snatches of images, no pictures, depictions I'd seen in _Goblin Gentleman's Magazine_ … Two pretty Bloodknights, one succubus, and in these trashy red and green Winter's Veil costumes, with candy-striped whips and a net? Them strutting through Shatthrath City to steal the Dwarf and his holiday party from A'dal's poor little orphans…

My brow raised, I gave Saturna a hard look. It was not the picture she had painted at all, and she knew it.

"Any… Bloodknight is taught to make good use of all the tools in his or her arsenal. Sex, lust, love, are only a part of life. A part of nature. Whatever it takes to complete a task necessary to save Quel'thalas. These things can be as effective as a sword. I, myself, was a great success." She sat up straight, looking a little more dignified, "Surely, no one can deny that now."

No kidding. It was all coming back to me, the many rumors about her were starting to line up and organize themselves in my mind. I had been serving in Lordaeron at the time and helping the Forsaken, but I'd read the Outland gossip here and there. Mainly in _Goblin Gentleman's Magazine_. Hey, it is, in fact, a reputable, and very useful publication, as I'm about to prove… Soon after Saturna arrived at the Black Temple all those years ago, the then Prince Kael'thas Sunstrider suddenly got over his arcane crystal addiction, beat up his crooked Sunfury General (that was also somehow for Saturna's benefit), and had thrown a startlingly civilized ball at the Black Temple for Saturna's birthday. All of that could have been him courting her. Kael'thas' terrifying version of courtship, anyway… Then sometime after, she died protecting him. But that still wasn't enough for Kael'thas. After about three years, Kael'thas finally hauled ass back to Quel'thalas to raise his ex-girlfriend Saturna back from the _dead_ (incidentally, that was his real motivation for restoring the Sunwell on Quel'danas Isle, pretty pathetic if you ask me), then Kael'thas married Saturna and retook the throne to make her his queen—and to probably keep her from running off with any more handsome princes. I'll admit, she made for a cute ghost.

How funny. If I was Saturna and I'd died serving that rat bastard before he could seal the deal, I would have haunted Kael'thas and dangled that over his head for anywhere between three years and three eons, too, however long it took. 'Success' is a pretty good word for it. As my female cousins would say, with a snap, 'Girlfriend cleaned up!'

Those hot-blooded heifers. It would've been fun to take the so-called Queen Saturna to visit them over in Bloodhoof and see how fast they offended her with painful cold slaps of reality. Or, Saturna might sit them all down and teach them how to wear a war harness cinched up just right and marry up with Chief Baine…

Now it was less funny.

Actually, to be fair, Kael'thas would have retaken the throne in Silvermoon for other reasons as well. Kael'thas is no dummy, he would have realized that his survival on Azeroth was at stake and he needed an army and a faction to prop him up in order to manage that. So on the whole, it might have been a matter of realizing that his new Bloodknight wife had good ideas all along. Yep, that sounded like a bonafide marriage alright.

Well, one thing and another and we finally, at long last, have a King of Quel'thalas who's off arcane crystals and clean, by the grace of the all the gods above, and with viable heirs lined up. (No doubt through the aid of ridiculously expensive magical treatments, and possibly the Sunwell itself.) Now, if I was Lady Liadrin, I would have patted Saturna on the back, retired immediately and ignored the details, too.

First, I had been impressed by Saturna. Or, the better word was charmed by her. That was precisely what she intended for me. Now, I saw she could be just as naughty as the rest of us. So much for my fantasy. I frowned.

Saturna was busy getting the conversation back to civilized, though I had kind of made up my mind by then that underneath all this, though Saturna could make an impression, something truly silly was afoot. It would be dangerous for Thunderbluff to get involved in Silvermoon's evident mess. I curled my lip in the start of a sneer. I leaned in and looked at her the way only a mean, old, gruff Tauren Pathfinder can look at you. _Like he wants his porridge!_

Saturna managed to look hurt by it, "…There was only one child living in that fortress at the time. And that little boy stuck in Tempest Keep with his bereft father had no hope of fully experiencing the spirit of the season. Belorim asked his father Kael'thas to see the jolly red-clad dwarf. That's all our son wanted, what any child would want that time of year. And Kael'thas, ever being _my_ Kael'thas," Saturna tried not to let herself smile, perhaps because it was coming off a little wicked at the thought of her husband, "He forced Greatfather Winter to accept that even the son of the Prince of Quel'thalas, now the King of Quel'thalas, deserved to see him. And from what I think I remember of back then, and the family stories we shared over the years, it was magical. What Kael'thas took the risk to give our son, was hope. Who knows? Perhaps that hope gave Belorim a little more time, precious time before Kael'thas could discover and then undo the curse on our family… Perhaps it saved the three of us, and the kingdom. The magic of that one, stolen holiday."

Saturna was silent after that. Man, did I feel bad for trash-talking her in my head a little while ago. And Mu'sha above! Why couldn't I make up my freaking mind about her?!

She went on looking aggrieved, "The incident the other night was truly horrible and King Kael'thas and I do feel terrible about it. Though no one believes me when I say it. The Alliance, and the Night Elves, especially. Of course, they blame my husband now, they would! And, of course, Kael'thas is innocent. Kael'thas had a real reason back then for taking Greatfather Winter to Tempest Keep, to save our son's life. But there's no reason for Kael'thas or anyone in my kingdom to harm Greatfather Winter, now. Is there?"

Baine seemed to know better than try and answer that. I wasn't going to test the waters, either.

She turned to me, "Turaho Runestalker, I know that the Tauren will be asked to investigate this crime because it happened in your city—that is, I am sure that they should. I am asking you all to take charge of this and ensure that the whole of Azeroth knows the truth. In fact, I think both our kingdoms should handle this the right way, together."

"Wait, I don't think I understand. What incident are you talking about?"

Baine chose to speak up at this point, "Queen Saturna, I trust you can see, now, that I did select the right man for the job."

"We visited several today—"

"I saved the best for last. And, as I also promised, he's very able to operate well beneath the common ken," Well, Baine had put me being an anti-social lout who refuses to read newspapers quite nicely, there, "…and incorruptible in this matter. Turaho is not biased at all. He was right here the whole time, on this hilltop, not like the others we visited. Those other Tauren saw what happened on the middle rise with Greatfather Winter. They'd all made up their minds about it and I recall you didn't like that very much. But Turaho is totally ignorant."

Uh… that seemed unusually mean of him.

Saturna tapped her chin, as if she were choosing a wine, "I suppose…"

"And Turaho wasn't even in Outland during the Burning Crusade, which is a good thing! Turaho is a clean slate, practically."

Saturna then looked up at the thatched ceiling, shrugged a neat little shoulder of hers, "Well, there _is_ that..." Or, she could have said, 'Have you got a different sauvignon? One that's not so cheap and scruffy?'

Her either over-acting or patronizing me in a particularly Elven way was getting on my nerves. Of course I'm more than good enough to take on your crap assignment, whatever it is! You want wine, lady? You're about to get a whole bottle, upside the head!

Baine insisted, "Turaho, honestly, didn't witness any of the things that would bias our enemies. Not back then, because he was assigned to work in Lordaeron, and not recently."

Well, dirty Goblin mags aside. But why did our chieftan keep taking these cheap shots at me?

Baine then leaned forward, because I was surely looking more and more confused and annoyed by the moment, "Turaho, Greatfather Winter was taken from Thunderbluff last night. Probably while you were up here busy with your own holiday tradition."

"Which is what?" I crossed my arms, tired of everyone making their assumptions.

"Brooding."

"…Oh."

Then, I tried to keep up, "Well, I thought I had heard the old Dwarf was over here. So Greatfather went on to Ogrimmar after Thunderbluff, then? Not surprised he only stayed here for one night. The clever little con-man. He'll hit up all the Horde cities while he's close to Darnassus."

Baine furrowed his brow, "It's too early yet for snow, in Mulgore. Or did you forget to read your almanac? That's why it snowed on the very night, a terrible storm! It was the magic of the season, Turaho."

"Hunh?" Why were they talking in friggin code again?

Saturna lay her head back, frustrated, "Chief Baine," she drawled and flicked her wrist, "I think I'd like to see another Tauren."

I bubbled over, "For crap's sake—we're not a wine and cheese selection! Does Mulgore look like a friggin stop at the Suramar Vineyard to you?"

Saturna gestured elegantly with her little wrist again, "It's called the Twilight Vineyards, and… hardly."

That was set to light laughter and even a 'huzzah' from one of her Bloodknights.

I set my teeth on edge, ready to lose it.

Baine growled, after a whole morning of this and certainly impatient with us both. The most painfully authentic, out-of-touch Tauren in the paddock and the haughtiest Elf on the continent of Kalimdor at the moment, "Listen, please! Turaho—Greatfather Winter was kidnapped! It snowstorms around him when something goes wrong. Don't you believe in Greatfather Winter? I thought everyone knew the stories."

"He's just a Dwarf in a suit. Ironforge pays him, probably. And him going around the world is no miracle. He'd have to be neutral like the Goblins to make the most money off of it."

Saturna shook her head, "Oh, he is very real. Greatfather Winter is a magical creature. He does have the power of blessing the good and cursing the… so-called evil during the festive season. My son learned first-hand. Kael'thas did, too. Though it took him a while." Interesting. This stuff was easier to believe, coming from another magical creature. Saturna looked totally convinced.

I glanced around again, to see if any of her Bloodknights were actually under the age of ten years old. You can hardly tell age with Elves. Better not break the news to them that the father of the holiday isn't real, right? That would be a bad move for mommy Bloodknight Matriarch, upsetting the kiddies.

I grumbled, "Uh, okay? Fine. Whatever."

Bain stood up, "Good. Then he's accepted. Good ole' Turaho, he'll find the real kidnapper for you. And please tell your husband the king not to worry. We will handle all expenses and will gladly make all the arrangements. I am ashamed to say that we Tauren should not have, erm, misplaced Greatfather Winter in the first, uh, place."

"Wait—"

"And trust me, however Turaho seemed earlier, I promise you he is perfect for the job. He just hasn't had his breakfast yet, right? Isn't that true, Turaho?"

I could not deny that my porridge was ice cold and also somehow burnt to a crisp for me not having savored it, yet.

"See? Turaho has even worked in Lordaeron before, tracking spirits, and he's very familiar with ancestral entities here in Mulgore. Greatfather Winter, an ancient magical being, falls in that category."

Saturna stood with Baine as well. "Yes, I guess you did mention…"

"His mother was a powerful shamaness!" Baine stamped his hoof and cheered. Now Baine was repeating himself. He couldn't stand the suspense anymore, I could tell. He wanted to pass me off on them so badly.

I complained, "But what mission have I accepted? I can't keep track here. And when will you guys need me? I'll all finished for this winter."

Baine went on selling me down the river, "And he did some work in Ashenvale as well! He's fresh from Ashenvale. I should have said that back on the bluff. Didn't I? He has expertise shuttling supplies behind the scenes and dealing with Night Elf smugglers. So he knows the proper etiquette for Silvermoon too, don't worry."

"I have etiquette?"

"For dealing with Elves, yes you do. That's what all that was, in Ashenvale. Right?"

Saturna winced, "I'm not quite sure if Night Elves and Blood Elves-"

Baine's eyes were almost wild, "But you said the Kal'dorei Rogue Network is probably behind all of this, correct, Queen Saturna? Turaho can use his connections in their vast underworld, to... to…ah, undo them in some way."

'Undo them'? Really, Baine? I'm a Pathfinder, not some puppetmaster. Could you stop lying out of your tail for one second!

I got to my feet, then, "Hold on! Kal'dorei smugglers who are about as good as the Venture Co., willing to look the other way over a few cut trees is one thing…"

Baine talked over me, "And, Queen Saturna, I'm afraid all the other great Pathfinders are away in Zuldazar, or the Broken Isles, as you know. The Horde is embattled nearly everywhere. He's the best choice and your only choice, in fact."

That, at last, seemed to settle it for her. The vanity and the doubt faded away when it was clear we would be working together. Saturna turned and looked at me like a cat who had finally caught her mouse. The bloodthirsty Bloodknight was back. She knew just want to do. Intimidate.

"Hrmph. Welcome aboard, then." And she managed to give an insulting curtsey, very unqueenlike.

"Wait a hot second here—it's my holiday break! I did say I was done for the year. I just came back from Ashenvale, like you said, and all the way through the Barrens…"

Baine huffed, "You flew here on a wyvern. I saw your big butt weighing the poor animal down from where I always stand on the high rise."

"Still, it's depressing seeing that place crawling with Quillboar and Alliance, looking down from a Wyvern. That was grueling mentally, and very hard on me, and…" I must have melted down, I ended with, "But my hooves hurt, and I'm _tired…_ "

They went on talking and negotiating terms as if I was the help, or some stock animal. I did notice that Silvermoon was offering me a hefty prize if I finished things on their schedule. Sigh… Already bought and paid for, not really there.

Saturna put a fist on her hip, "…One last thing, Baine. He's not a paladin, yet. I did ask for a paladin, Chief Baine. A full Sunwalker."

"That's great! Turaho is all but initiated. He can take his last rites before he leaves for the Eastern Kingdoms. He's been putting them off, anyway. He could use a final push." And then Baine did push me, in Saturna's direction. To shake hands on it. I almost stampeded over that poor woman.

"Woah, woah… Chief Baine. Could I… we should discuss this. _Please_!"

Baine showed his age then, ready to argue back and forth with me and Saturna rather than just slam his hoof down and settle it, like his father Cairne would have. And actually, Cairne would have asked me first, by the way. He would have made Saturna wait in Thunderbluff, no matter how shiny or strange or demanding she was, no matter who she was married to. Cairne would have made her stand back and he would have given a fellow Tauren a chance to get well-centered in order to decide!

I got up and marched out of the hut, clomping my big hooves. It caused a few of the Blood Elves to reach for their swords. Baine came next and waved them off.

"All Paladins, all the same until we joined up… so suspicious of lesser races. This whole morning was a nightmare." And then louder, to his men, "We'll be right back! All of you, be more useful than than just staring! Make sure the queen has some cinnamon-milk or porridge while she waits."

Not my wonderful, middle-of-the-winter, old-man porridge. Even if it was burned to death…

I snarled, "BAINE!"

"Don't yell at me in front of them… Okay, now you can yell at me." We got as far down as the cave where the kodos and the Bloodknight chargers were milling about. It was a weird mix. A Tauren representative and his Blood Elf counterpart were lingering under a pine tree in the middle, chuckling about something. See? Baine had been right. They didn't even really need to watch the animals.

I didn't see Suba at all. Damn lucky beast. Couldn't blame him.

Baine waved me deep into the cave.

"Look, Turaho. We've only really spoken the one time, I know. But this is serious, and I know you can do it."

"Serious? This is rabid-mad!"

"She was really furious and upset when she got in yesterday." He lowered his voice, "Nobody wanted to jump up and help the wife of Kael'thas Sunstrider, obviously."

"No shit."

"Gods and ancestors, was she getting hysterical! I promised almost anything to calm her, when it was our fault, in the end. We didn't have enough braves watching Greatfather Winter before he disappeared. You know…" he looked embarrassed about it, "Since it's the holidays…"

How ironic.

"I bet she put up a good show. Saturna would have to, wouldn't she? But I wouldn't fall for it, though."

"What do you mean?"

I explained about all the women I'd ever dealt with who managed to find me at my log house in Bloodhoof, or at my hut, my tipi, my standard-issue Horde tent while out on a mission, begging me for help. Sometimes, it was fine. They were totally innocent and just looking for some aid. Or, a good time with a handsome, lonely bull… But other overly frantic people of the feminine variety, especially the ones who came storming in like the end of the world was on and they'd just faint away if they didn't get what they wanted, those were usually up to something.

Baine was horribly offended, "But she's the wife of King Kael'thas Sunstrider!"

"Right. You might want to repeat that to yourself. Do it slowly."

Baine looked up, thinking, "…Oh." He sighed, "So. She's lying to us, in some way? I just didn't think! With Sylvanas and everything else breathing down my neck—I just didn't want one more intense Elf woman freaking out at me, Turaho!"

"Saturna would be aware of that as well, and make good use of it. I almost fell for some of her sly tricks up on the hilltop, myself."

"Damn you, Sylvanas! As if my love life weren't screwed up enough right now…"

"Wait," I let out a laugh, "You and Sylvanas?"

"No! Me and—wait a second, here, we're talking about you! What you're about to do for your… _herd._ " He had to go and say that word.

I made a face, "I don't know… Why would Saturna lie about Greatfather Winter, though? He's just a Dwarf in a red suit, even if Kael'thas crossed him a bajillion years ago in some other war, and some people think he's a magical Dwarf," I shot Baine a look, "And why didn't Kael'thas come, himself? Better yet, why would he send his queen at all? This is a job for an ambassador, a messenger from Silvermoon. Or a directive from him, through Sylvanas, if it's the Kal'dorei Rogue Network and the whole Alliance getting angry at us because Greatfather Winter disappeared from Thunderbluff. Not Kael'thas' queen and Bloodknight Matriarch! And whatever happened to Lady Liadrin? I'm still annoyed I missed that!"

"Retired. I hear she got married."

"To WHO?!" I really did not keep up with the news, did I? Some Tauren country bumpkin I was.

"It was some years ago. She was in love with Kael'thas' chief advisor, apparently."

I snuffed out of both nostrils, with disgust. "Right in time, too! Pushed out, I bet! By that glittering blue… I don't know, man-trap up there. It's what she is at the end of the day, queen or no queen."

Baine crossed his arms. "I did say that Liadrin officially stepped down a few years ago, though it took time to fully train Saturna in the role and transition her duties. Now you're the one not being rational, Turaho."

"It's too late, I've decided." I pointed, "Saturna is a liar, something stupid is going on, and whatever it is does, indeed, involve Kael'thas! Not back then, not because of some obscure sad family story Saturna told us, but Kael'thas is in it, he is right in it, today! That's what my Pathfinder instinct is telling me, and so, of course, I'm not going. And if you're smart, you'll try and keep all of Thunderbluff out of it, too."

"You're not just sore about the holiday, are you? Everyone warned me you'd be."

"Who?!"

"…All the other Pathfinders."

"What are 'all the other Pathfinders' saying about me, now? Bunch of suck-ups." Well, we aren't perfect.

"That you're a greench about Winter's Veil. That's why I kept you last on my list."

I shook my head at him. Then I also saw Saturna in my head again, flicking her little wrist dismissively and drawling on that she wanted to Baine to show her 'another Taaaauren.' Ugh.

"But Turaho, you really are Mulgore's only hope now. All the queen wants is for someone to look around Thunderbluff, escort her back home, then take some notes while in Silvermoon City. You'll probably just hand it all to me after that. I'll put it in a letter to King Anduin, send it over to the Alliance. Then they'll calm down once that's done. Everything will be tied up in a bow. Trust me. Maybe we can even get this fixed before Sylvanas gets involved."

"But I still have to find a stupid magical Dwarf in a suit. That's the worst part."

"It would be cruel not to help Greatfather Winter, Turaho! It's Winter's Veil!"

I looked into Baine's eyes, waiting for him to let out a laugh and show me he was joking. He was not.

I was very crotchety by then without my porridge and all this now wanting to fall down on my head so I took a final shot at him, "Does Sylvnas know you're still writing to King Anduin? Of Stormwind? It's my network I set up way back when, so I have all the proof, you know!"

"Shh!"

Footsteps getting closer. Not Tauren, not kodos, not horses. Elven ones.

Saturna entered the cave. She thrust a hand back, to make her gaggle of Bloodknights wait by the sunlit entrance. She looked intense at first, but then she dropped hands to her sides, softened.

"Well, Chief Baine? Turaho? What is it to be? My family really has suffered enough." Then, with a straight a face, "And I want some way to convince King Kael'thas not to blame Thunderbluff and demand hundreds of thousands in recompense for slander—"

"Good news, he's agreed!" Baine clapped me hard on the back.

Money? Ain't that always the thing.

"I have one last question before you both roast me on a spit over a Thalassian fire." I turned to Saturna, "Why is it so critical that you need a Sunwalker? Why wouldn't a Tauren Pathfinder do? We usually investigate matters that affect our homeland, not the Sunwalker Paladins. Surely, you're aware?" Then, I was cheeky, "Surely a great queen of the Blood Elves would have read up before storming over here."

Saturna Sunstrider took one step toward me in her black plate greaves. Her cape, and whatever ice-like essences she was made of, raised in an invisible rush of magic riling itself up. I knew she was just messing with me, but I might have hopped back anyway. I swiped my tail to cover that, a bit. You know, just resettling my hooves like most bovines, don't mind me…

"Tauren. Sunwalker. Competent." Then, she hissed, "Not an _ass…_ Those are my requirements because this ultimately affects my family. Got it?"

Ah, so her sweet sugar was running out all of a sudden. I'd hit a nerve, a nerve that might end this whole thing before it started. So of course I went for it, "Is it because Sunwalkers are sworn to the Silver Hand? That takes precedent over any Horde laws, or the Alliance ones."

Saturna strolled all the way around me, into the shadows. Likely without fear of anything bigger and nastier than herself that might dwell there. Something she and sinister Sylvanas and a lot of tricksy Elves had in common in my opinion. Well, I'll admit here that I like Sylvanas. She's pretty damn terrifying, you know—In fact, I think I said that already. But a woman who can make a big Tauren's knees shake? Coming from me, that's a compliment. It's the best part about Elf women, of course. You think it would have clued me in, big time, on my future problems…

Saturna kicked a pebble into the depths, probably to distract herself and get her tone of voice back down to 'not-a-villainess'. I've become very good at baiting people over the years. She tried again, and this time it was honeyed, elegant yet firm, "My Bloodknights belong to me, first and foremost. I've not strayed far from Lady Liadrin's original and true vision for us."

What? That the original Bloodknights were entitled to steal a Naaru, feed on it and abuse the Light like a bunch of vampires? So under Saturna, we're going back to that? I rolled my eyes and muttered, "…Good job."

Saturna hadn't heard me, "Bless her, but toward the end of my mentor's great work, Liadrin was weakening. And the Silver Hand was preying upon her weakness, from what I observed. I bolstered her resolve and, together, we never allowed the Silver Hand to take our Bloodknights."

Kael'thas Sunstrider's wife, indeed.

"Perhaps you would have known that detail about the structure of the Silver Hand, had you finished your initiation."

"Low blow, Saturna."

"You're mocking the Blood Elves and you're about to work for us, in the spirit of Horde unity. It can't get lower than that, on your end."

I kind of… liked her for pointing that out. But I wasn't going to let her win, exactly, "I'll be working _with_ you, not for you."

"Nor will I have a Tauren walking through Silvermoon City looking into things if he believes we are merely abusers of the Light, as the Alliance paladins will certainly try to put it, again, now that it's convenient. The Light is a magic, like any magic. And we have mastered it."

"Have you? Then I want proof. Show me that the Light, the Sun, is not sacred and does not need to be treated with respect. When has An'she's life-giving Light ever been a mere tool?"

Baine said, "Shall I kick him for you, my queen?"

Wow. That was the most un-Tauren thing for him to say. Ever. Baine was capable, but he was still young. He was still learning. Perhaps Baine thought he was just being funny at my expense, but we'd definitely need to have a little chat about that remark before I left Thunderbluff.

Saturna folded hands politely in front of herself. She'd won for now, and she knew it. "Turaho, I want us to resolve this, together, and find Greatfather Winter first ourselves. No mess. No re-opening old wounds."

"You sound like you already know how you want the investigation, that is, the truth, to turn out. An investigation isn't something you can plan. I'm warning you, that's not how I'm going to work."

She allowed herself to look pained, then, "My husband is innocent."

I almost laughed.

Baine frowned when he saw my muzzle, edging there.

Saturna took another step near, a much softer one this time, so that I couldn't hop away. Then she felt up my bare fur arm. A strange sensation rose and fell in me. Not what you're thinking. Not much of that anyway… She truly was sad and frightened for what she believed was to come. She was letting me feel that. How many times had I felt spirits pass by me in an old house, or in an old abandoned field that was ruined by war, and felt the same? Trouble was coming.

Saturna swept white-blonde hair from her face, "Kael'thas has changed. He is not an evil man. But the Kal'dorei Rogue Network refuses to see that. They are going to drive this spear as deep into his side as they can, to get revenge for past wrongs. They want to cut Quel'thalas apart for its past crimes if they can't cut it out of the Horde. And the Alliance should not be allowed to do that, not to anyone one of our kingdoms. The Horde should ever allow it."

Eh, possible. Kael'thas had done some vile things in his past. People were sure to be sore today, still. Illidan Stormrage, especially, came to mind. Reformed, my butt. I really hoped that none of this mess led me into his massive, fel-green, smoking hoof prints. Odd, that Saturna had not mentioned him, either. Illidan was the more obvious culprit when it came to Kael'thas' old enemies. The more obvious stumbling block for Kael'thas, too.

"Together we stand, divided we fall, something like that?"

"What I want, what Kael'thas and I both want, Turajo, is to ask Greatfather Winter ourselves for the truth, in front of everyone. Greatfather Winter will back up everything that I have said today, that the Blood Elves are not responsible for the attack on Thunderbluff two nights ago, for taking him away from so many innocent children. I am sure of it. But in order to do that, we must find the good Dwarf. And we have to do it before the KRN does. They're all rogues, but a paladin, a Silver Hand paladin, could be seen as neutral. Then, we will succeed."

Another lie? Some convoluted game of her husband's… Saturna tried to feel up my arm one last time, get me to smile, anything. But then she dropped the act. She was so tired of fighting other people's perceptions of the Blood Elves, by now.

Saturna did not look like a queen right then. Not as she had in my sunny hut, standing out in her fine cloak, with her pretty blue spells. In the cave, by my side in the darkness, she was just a woman heartsick over her cause and clearly exhausted with her husband constantly being persecuted on all sides. Or, she was sick of having a husband that kept getting himself persecuted on all sides, which was different.

I was skilled at picking up on cold, heartless liars. I had enough experience with them on two continents and with 'shady dames' too, you know the type.

But Saturna Sunstrider, with her green doe eyes?

Let's just say the only thing I was sure of, by that point, was that Kael'thas had chosen her well.

"Turaho," she clasped hands together beneath her chin, "Please come to Silvermoon with me."

Baine waited for me to say anything that wasn't totally offensive at that point. He must have realized he'd crossed all kinds of lines with me that morning, pushed me to my limit. Past it.

"I might… see it. Once, before I die."

It was the best I could do for either of them.


	4. What You Talkin Bout Baine?

The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 4: What You Talkin' Bout, Baine?**

Suba ate all my porridge. It happened while I left him alone in the dark cave with all those provisions. You know, before Saturna Sunstrider and her Blood Elf rats arrived? I mean, I couldn't carry everything up to the hut at once. So Suba gobbled up three big grain bags full of sun-dried Mulgore oats.

Ugh…

Also, Chief Baine Bloodhoof sent word that I was going to become a Sunwalker Paladin by the end of the day 'because the fate of Mulgore depended on it.' I sent a note back to him asking how did he know a Tauren Pathfinder wouldn't be better at an actual _investigation_ , you know, hunting for the truth? Wouldn't it be more likely that the 'fate of Mulgore' depended on a Pathfinder?

Especially since Saturna was shiftier than a rattlesnake's shadow, so of course we shouldn't give Kael'thas' queen exactly what she wanted. I didn't care what she said. Plus, I liked being stubborn.

In the middle of me eating what was left of breakfast—the dried fruit and venison jerky that was lying around in the bottom of my bag, covered with pocket lint—Baine himself rode up to my hut. This time, his war kodo drums were booming (to make sure I was awake, no doubt). And he told me he was going to 'kick my ass' if I wasn't on time for my own Paladin initiation into the Sunwalkers at Bloodhoof Village, sundown. But then I said I would be forced to fight _him_ if he didn't let me do this investigation the proper way, as a Pathfinder would. It was plain dumb to abscond to Silvermoon if I looked into things around Mulgore and the evidence simply didn't point in that direction.

Then, Baine shoved me.

"What the-?"

Well, I shouldn't have acted so surprised. I was boiling over for exactly this to happen, ever since Baine bad-mouthed Mu'sha's Light the day before. And I still needed to talk to Baine about that!

I pushed him right back.

Baine's next shove knocked me off my hooves, "Son of an Ogre!"

"What did you say about my dear dead, shaman mother?!"

Baine furrowed his brow at me, "Uh, that insult usually applies to the father. We all liked your mother…"

Didn't matter. This was probably my only chance to punch my own chieftan in the face and I was taking it.

Looking back, two grown Tauren men slugging each other with punches for no reason (and out of season, no less) up in the desolate hills where no one can see… is pretty stupid. I held my own, but Baine was just younger and stronger. That made me grumpy, and so Baine was able to lock horns and kick out my feet from under me more times than I could stand. And so then, I wasn't standing by the end of it. I was flat on my back, exhausted. Baine had a seat across from me.

"…Truce?" Baine asked, breathless.

"Never."

"Please, things are bad enough. Don't be as terrible as… well, Sylvanas and Nathanos, beating on us Tauren all the time."

It got quiet. Even the birds seemed to soften their cries.

"…You beating me up was the last thing I needed, okay Turaho! Anyway, I thought we were friends?"

Friends today, maybe. But the minute Baine went down the mountain again, we'd be strangers, just like the last time—"

I couldn't resist, "Beating up the Tauren? What does that mean?"

"Well, they make fun of us. It's not… Too many people do. Don't take it personal."

I didn't buy it. Not when Baine looked depressed about the admission. Not when he was in a state where he was ready to fight me. I knew why I wanted to fight Baine. Because of my porridge, my piss-poor assignment with a bunch of Blood Elves, this dumb holiday. _And_ my porridge… But why was Baine so upset? What in the world were they doing to our poor chieftan over in Orgrimmar, in Grommash Hold?

I gave Baine a look that said I wasn't playing any more games with him, "Are you saying the Tauren in trouble? So they are threatening us in some way?"

"I can't explain it. Just… try very hard to keep the Blood Elves happy. Especially during this holiday."

"No. It's not about the holiday. It's not about Greatfather Winter, either. I can tell. Baine, someone connected with Grommash Hold obviously said or did something. I want to hear about it." Baine kept insisting to me that it wasn't so serious, the he misspoke. I at last convinced Baine that only I would know what would constitute a serious threat; it was my line of work after all.

And then, of course, I told Baine to start at the top…

 _Turaho, the Blood Elves had already gone home for Winter's Veil. It's harder for them around the holidays, being from across the Great Sea. So that left Sylvanas, Nathanos, Rohkan, Gallywix and myself alone in Grommash Hold. We were supposed to be talking about Zuldazar and their navy. Ironing out plans for a final negotiation for use of their ships. Except, that's not how it went at all._

 _Sylvanas was seated on the throne—well, it's not a throne, really. Thrall, Vol'jin and not even horrifying Garrosh ever used it that way. It's just a symbol, a place of respect where the warchief stands and receives people. But she had her leg swung over the armrest, and her elbow on the other one, sort of lounging. Like this whole Horde thing was a joke. Or, she thought it was 'cute'. Sylvanas had called us quaint before. I suppose, and I'm trying to be real nice here thought it may not sound like it… After you've lived a life slaughtering thousands under a Lich King's control, you might see the position of Warchief of the Horde as a bit of a step down. Some walk in the park. I try to give her that much credit._

 _Nathanos was seated at a table using his fist to smash open walnuts. Don't laugh, I taught him how to do it. Not that Nathanos needs to really eat, but he finds it fun and intimidating. Even those used to him, like Rohkan and me, can't help but flinch every time the table bangs under his fist. One nice thing about his bad habit—Nathanos will choke on a handful of smashed nuts now and again. And Sylvanas never helps him._

" _Do it again, Gallywix. Go on."_

 _Sylvanas meant Gallywix's Kael'thas impression. The trade prince of the Goblins was wandering around with a yellowish mop on his head. Rohkan and I were busy studying the big map of Zuldazar—you know, actually working._

 _So Gallywix starts shouting, "I beat the Demons! I beat Illidan and the Burning Legion—"_

 _Here, Sylvanas smirked,"You'd think Kael'thas did it all on his own. Nathanos, why does Kael'thas never mention the Army of the Light whenever he remembers the Burning Crusade?"_

 _Nathanos scraped up a handful of smashed nuts, tossed them back into his mouth, "Probably because they wanted to kill 'em. And they almost did, too."_

 _Gallywix raised his staff in the air, for quiet. You know, that abominable one with an azurite chunk welded to the top._

" _Ladies and gentleman, please—" By the way, Turaho, don't expect me to do a good Goblin accent,"I cointaintly can't paform without a willin' audience at dis point."_

 _Sylvanas inclined her head regally, "Of course, do go on, Gallywix."_

" _M'pleasure. 'I beat the Burning Legion, singlehanded! I even showed that Illidan where ta stick it! Do you think the Alliance is any threat? Do you think Sylvanas is anything to really be afraid of? Do you? King Kael'thas Sunstrider is never afraid!"_

" _Ugh, that's just like him, isn't it, Nathanos? And it's actually more Kael'thas-like with a Goblin accent."_

" _Yeah. Kael'thas is about that trashy."_

 _Gallywix started laughing with them, he had to. Either that or actually show how much he hated Sylvanas cracking her jokes._

 _Gallywix continued parading around for a while. He also pretended to grab and kiss a few of the battle standards that are propped up in Grommash Hold—pretending they were succubae and other demonesses hanging around in Kael'thas' court, probably. What a disgrace! But that's what it all comes to, without the Thralls and the Vol'jins and Cairnes of this world. That's how bad Sylvanas and them are without the Blood Elves around._

 _I was just about to ask Rokhan if he wanted to go out for some air rather than listen to all that, when I heard Nathanos turn the subject particularly dark._

" _The Tauren have served us well, at least." Then loud enough to show he knew I was listening in, "Right, Baine? I couldn't imagine any of you doing any less than putting your best efforts down, roasted and garnished on silver platters for our great Dark Lady."_

 _I felt Sylvanas watching me, daring me._

 _If I could get away without saying anything, I would. They knew that._

 _Rohkan decided he wasn't going to wait for them to get around to messing with him, "And da Trolls. Ya wouldn'ta had nothing, Nathanos, if it weren't for our good connections with de Zandalar."_

 _One doesn't insult Sylvanas. But you can get about as far as putting down her second-in-command, the Dark Prince._

 _Nathanos had this ugly look on his face. Few of them had the real courage to insult the Trolls. Vol'jin's death not being so long ago. And one word from Rohkan could spoil the alliance with the Zandalar, I'm sure._

 _But, Thunderbluff… she has very little to bargain with._

 _Nathanos took the hint and decided to pick on somebody else,"That Kael'thas, though! He needs to be taken down a notch."_

" _Many notches." Sylvanas looked aside, at something beneath her on the floor. Some shadow or insect, crawling along._

"… _Would that please you, my queen?"_

" _Hrm?" Sylvanas can get very casual with no one else around. She rested chin in palm and began to bounce the leg she'd swung over the armrest. "What's that, punkin-poo?"_

 _Turaho. Please don't tell anyone else she calls Nathanos that. It'd be very bad for him. And it would put Nathanos and maybe the whole Horde leadership in a very bad light._

Too late, this is my memoir after all, Baine. And too bad for Nathanos. Whoops!

" _Well, I might…" Nathanos rolled two walnuts around in his palm, letting them click gently, "Finally nab that old suitor of yours, what do you think?"_

 _A long moment passed. Everyone in that room noticed how unprofessional this was getting._

" _Come on, Sylvie, it might be fun. What's the point of all this new power if you can't enjoy it?"_

" _I do enjoy my power, Nathanos."_

 _He sputtered, "I have no question in my mind that you do. But why let Kael'thas annoy you so? He throws his weight around in the Eastern Kingdoms, he's never come to Orgrimmar to meet you, he always finds some excuse. And then those arrogant speeches. It's like he doesn't even see himself as part of the Horde. He's running his own show over in Silvermoon."_

" _Oh, Kael'thas. He's like a rude uncle I'm relieved to never have to deal with." Sylvanas rolled her red eyes."And now there's a shiny-pretty-perfect holiday ball I'm supposed to go to in Silvermoon, and pretend it isn't covered in Kael'thas and horrible. He'll try to make up for two whole years of putting me off in one evening, I'm sure." She sighed with great annoyance and almost melted into the chair, "At least I'll have you with me, Nathanos. Can't you be content with that?"_

 _Nathanos had set his teeth right in the bone, though, "You could so easily show Kael'thas his place!" He turned to her, his chair creaked, "Why, there's even a way to get his nose out of joint where he couldn't trace it directly back to you."_

" _Oh, Nathanos. Kael'thas barely mentioned marriage to me maybe two lifetimes ago, it feels like. Around the same time he was supposedly courting Jaina, which proves how sincere he actually was. But none of that matters now." Sylvanas sounded bored, which always panicked Nathanos for some reason. I suppose he takes it personally. He would._

" _If you let me do this, Sylvie, Kael'thas would know that you punished him. And you would know and then I would know, but Kael'thas would not be able to bring any charges against us. How is not the perfect crime?"_

 _Those arrogant fools have a way of talking over other races like we're the help and not even in the room!_

 _I said,"You know, Rohkan and I are trying hard to figure out whether the Zandalar ships might approach Kalimdor from the south-east or the south-west, if anyone is curious…"_

 _At last, Sylvanas got up from her irreverent seat. She walked on those boots of hers, strutted up to us and put hands on her hips._

 _Nathanos was still insistent. Worse, he was being ignored by the she sun in his sky. "My queen, I can do anything you task me with! I could really shut that Kael'thas up, for once! You talk about surviving his ghastly holiday party—imagine how fun it could be if we could smile about this all evening, right under his nose?"_

 _Sylvanas became engrossed in what Rohkan and I had mapped out. She tutted and moved one of the wooden boat markers in another direction. "…What was that, punkin-poo?"_

" _Kael'thas! Let me get my revenge on Kael'thas! For you, I mean." Then, he finished calmly, "My lady."_

 _Sylvanas turned around, eyes narrowed at him, "Whatever. Just don't make a mess." Then, she glared at me, "Why don't Tauren have ships, Baine? Blood Elves do, the Forsaken do. Goblins and Trolls have ships as well. I have our builders working day and night to match the Alliance, but we just don't have enough ships!"_

 _She just keeps saying that, you know. No matter what you come to Sylvanas with, that's like her little speech. Even if I explain that Tauren were always a land-locked race, surrounded by the Barrens, Mulgore and Thousand Needles, which didn't use to be flooded with water…_

Baine had started to ramble, so I raised my hand and stopped him. And it was quite a story, at that. One I hoped never to hear again. Baine's inside look into Horde leadership would have been funny if it wasn't totally horrifying.

Baine focused on his real point in all this, "An alliance with the Blood Elves," then he rephrased that, of course, "A closer _partnership_ with the Blood Elves right now would benefit the Tauren. The Trolls are in no state to help us, nor the Orcs. The Forsaken are running the whole show as I explained, fully enabled, and actually, financed by the Goblins. The Blood Elves can't always be there to temper things in Grommash Hold, of course. And since the Forsaken are pretty much shifty by nature, it's only spiraling faster and farther into paranoid nonsense."

"So, the Horde leadership is actually some kind of circus side-show right now?"

Baine nodded and scratched his head, "Nathanos said he'd like to roast us. He said we Tauren like to put ourselves on a silver platter. I don't think that's the kind of threat you were worried about."

And then, I felt terrible for Baine, who would have been the only sane one in the bunch, whenever the Blood Elf ambassadors weren't around. Assuming they were more reliable than Kael'thas, or Queen Saturna for that matter.

"Oh Turaho, don't look at me like that, like I'm some puppy. I'm handling it fine." He rubbed his hands together, "You don't think… there could be a real connection between Nathanos and Kael'thas? That Nathanos has anything to do with this Greatfather Winter scheme? I can't imagine that being his style?"

"Baine, what I think is that you need help."

"Help the Blood Elves and then you will be helping me, Turaho. I know you can't accomplish all that with your investigation in Silvermoon, and perhaps it shouldn't even be a priority when you'll be searching for the truth—in fact, forget that I asked. But just keep in mind that the Blood Elves are our friends. Try everything that you can to resolve it with them, you know, Turaho… together? Gods, I hope Greatfather Winter is alright. I pray he doesn't fall victim while we grapple with all this useless… politicking."

I was done hearing about Greatfather Winter. He was just a scheming Dwarf in a suit! No better than Gallywix as far as I was concerned! Either someone the old Dwarf scammed was busy getting their revenge on him, or he was already dead. Both fine with me!

But finding out 'whodunit' was now imperative. Whoever had committed this crime also decided to target Mulgore and us Tauren in the process. That needed to be exposed and dealt with. "And that's another thing—I happen to know Gallywix still has threads running through the Venture Co. Most Trade Princes ultimately do. The Venture Co. wants a piece of Mulgore and its rich resources. They always have."

"But Gallywix—he wouldn't!" Baine got very doe-eyed, then. See? Some things, only a Pathfinder can handle. Like cold-hard reality. And I knew that Baine didn't like Sylvanas personally, which worried me, because it might mean he had a good reason not to and he knew her better than I did. However, I also sensed it was a case of Baine not being as, let's say, aware, of the evil in the world. Sylvanas had been made low by it in her life, dragged right through all that muck. She never wanted it, but it came after her and tried to destroy her.

However it looked to most, Sylvanas had learned to fight evil back, tooth for tooth. She had her boot heel on its neck, these days.

I went on, "I'm warning you that Nathanos and Gallywix could even be working together. Wish I had a better sense of their true personalities… Baine, you think there could be a chance of that, some kind of team-up?"

"Wait. So now you're saying you don't think Kael'thas kidnapped Greatfather Winter?"

"I already said that I think Kael'thas is a skunk. But… it does not sit well with me that Kael'thas would be committing the exact same crime, kidnapping Greatfather Winter, that he already committed more than a decade ago in Shatthrath City. I can't believe Kael'thas would be so stupid. He is the first one everybody would suspect. And, you know, the Night Elves already have." Then I had a flash of insight, "Come to think of it, would the Night Elves…?"

"Would they what?"

There had already been enough drama in our little talk. I was afraid to drop the other shoe with Baine. I knew well that Baine had a several relatives who were druids working alongside Night Elves in the Cenarion Circle. I'd have to bring up the Night Elves possibly undermining us very carefully with him. I decided not to revisit the Night Elf lead, at least not officially, until I had more evidence.

Baine sighed, "So, Nathanos and Gallywix are also in the running. As well as Kael'thas. But you don't have time or the resources to investigate all of them."

One last time, I complained that I should handle this as a Pathfinder, and not play-act as some Paladin Sunwalker for Queen Saturna Sunstrider. Baine mostly ignored me.

"Start by ruling Silvermoon out, then. Rule out Silvermoon and rule out the Sunstriders. It's much easier than accusing Sylvanas' favorite boy-toy outright, isn't it?"

It was a terrible idea and bound to fail.

But I got distracted by yet another thing Baine had said. Favorite boy-toy? Didn't that mean there were others? That Sylvanas herself had a few romances going? I was afraid to ask. Well, I'd get Baine drunk on some good firewater first, then ask him later. If I survived this imbecilic mission.

So I brooded about something else instead, while I still could, "Baine, did you notice how Saturna called me Tura-jo yesterday? When have I ever been Tura-Joe?"

"Correct her, then. Just don't be an ass about it. I won't go as far as telling you to surrender your tribe-given name to another race. We don't have to be _that_ modern."

"And Baine, I still think you shouldn't let the big cities or the Elves of the world change you. Don't fall off the Tauren-wagon again. You're still learning to be a leader in a lot of ways, Baine, and that skunk Gallywix, Sylvanas, and Kael'thas himself are really poor examples. I wouldn't go learning anything from _them_.In my day, at least we had Vol'jin…"

"And you're in a rut. Get the hell out of it before you start telling me what to do, Tura-JOE."

I told Baine that he was free to leave, after that. But Baine said he was escorting me right to Thunderbluff to make absolute sure I met with Saturna and the others.

"I won't warn you again, Turaho. Do this with the Blood Elves. With! That means together, in partnership. Alright? Kael'thas is watching this whole thing in case you haven't guessed it. I hate being on that man's bad side."

"How could King Kael'thas be watching us, all the way out here in Mulgore?"

Baine only tapped his temple, in a mysterious way.

I figured that meant Baine didn't really know the answer either. So, Saturna had given him the impression that Kael'thas was capable of being some omnipresent god-like creature (which would make her obsessed in a very dark way, or else a completely suggestible idiot), or Kael'thas really did have scrying orbs stashed on people in hard-to-reach places.

Greaaat.

Hey, speaking of Kael'thas—sometimes, don't you just get the feeling Kael'thas should have ended up a looted corpse at the end of some dungeon back during the Burning Crusade? How did that fink ever escape the stinking wreckage he left in Azeroth and Outland—on two whole planets!

Maybe that was the real reason why I didn't want to rush and become a Paladin, or go to Silvermoon for that matter. My one comfort in hearing about Kael'thas' misdeeds all through the years was that I was a small, small person. I was a good Pathfinder, yeah, but still—there was no way in hell I was _ever_ going to meet him.

Usually, when you play that game to see how many degrees of separation you are away from celebrities, it's exciting. 'I could meet Cairne Bloodhoof! I could meet Malfurion Stormrage!'

Nobody goes, 'Ohmigosh! I'm going to meet Kael'thas Sunstrider! I can't wait for him to snarl at me and melt my face off the moment I dare to disagree with him!'

Look. Happy cows come from Mulgore. They don't come from Silvermoon, people.


	5. Gather No Moss

The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note:** So this extended beyond the holidays. Oh well, I don't care! I'm having a lot of fun. Gonna finish this!

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Gather No Moss**

 **I** met our friendly neighborhood Bloodknight invasion in Thunderbluff, on the middle rise. Baine escorted me there on the back of his own kodo to make sure I was on time, but then after Baine let me down on the grass, he also somehow quickly rode off before any Blood Elves might see him.

Yaaaay. What a way to begin my investigation.

"Good morning, Thunderbluff!" I shouted, alone and aggravated, while I hoofed it.

I'm sure the Bluffwatchers rolled their eyes at me. Tauren are wonderful in many ways, obviously, but we are also a bunch of gossips, and those two blokes looked like they had already heard why I was there that morning, and that the Blood Elves still hanging around were my fault.

And clouds above! It occurred to me then that it meant my family must have also known—Baine was arranging the whole Sunwalker initiation ceremony in our village! So, how many Tauren was I about suffer glaring at me, all day long, as I towed a bunch of snooty, judgmental Elves all through the Mulgore countryside?

My mind was looking for a gaggle of short black-and-red people with pointy ears, guffawing at the latest Tauren cultural tradition they had no intention of learning about. It was a while before I realized that Saturna herself was standing right across the pond from me, and that I had been staring.

That little azure pond at the center of the rise... How many reflections shimmered along that cool mirror through the years? Tops of totems, well-loved tipis, and creamy clouds drifting along through the sky. So many. But it was the first time that Saturna had been cast there, you see. A blue woman, spread over such soft water, and undoing her cloak.

Is it terrible if I put it this way, that she was stripping off? Well, technically she was. We were in winter, the dead heart of it, but she had unfastened the priceless platinum brooch, and unhooked the heavy dark blue cloak from one shoulder, then another. Her neck and arms were bare. She was becoming ivory as the sun hit her curious sort of skin. I'd never seen a spirit like her before, and I'd seen 'em all my life, you know.

The instinct for many men in such a moment is to run up and help. I did this strange thing where I offered to take her cloak, but then freaked out that I was only helping along her catching cold or worse without it.

"Mulgore is freezing in December! You have to watch yourself!"

I startled a pair of Tauren women who were out shopping. They looked at me like I was crazy, then laughed together and moved off. Saturna turned and watch them both march along in time on strong hooves, their arms holding the handle of one large basket full of brightly striped winter squash.

Saturna clutched at her bare throat. Beneath, she had on a dark dress. Well, to me it looked like a gown that belonged in some fancy Elven ballroom. But she seemed to think it was casual, that it wasn't really anything at all.

"The sun here is so wonderful." Saturna said. And she meant that. I feared she might cry.

I was still holding the cloak for her to slip it back on. Saturna turned a circle, looking around the bluff instead. What was she seeing and responding to? Clinking beads, chiming little tin bells strung up for the season to ring in happy tickles of the sailing wind? Or perhaps colors… ochre, white, the deepest black I've ever seen mixed (growing up Tauren makes you appreciate a good shaman's pounded night-black). And there was fresh bread being baked, sweet roasting meat seasoned with spices Saturna could have never known. Countless pleasant hoof beats drew it all together into one warm song. We had drums when there weren't even drums beating… That's the reason why it's called Thunderbluff, you know? And then, the sorts of Tauren voices—bellows, even—well, 'moos' that she'd never heard a people make before. All Tauren-made and loved. But here, it was normal.

To Saturna, she was experiencing a new kind of magical land. No, it wasn't Eversong Woods with its golden leaves and its runestones, but it was beautifully raw, so alive. Ungroomed, wild, free as it should be. I could tell, she was in heaven.

I suddenly felt so proud of us for being ourselves and impressing her.

"Haven't you travelled across two worlds, seen all kinds of paradise?" I laughed, "Fallen in love with a prince in one of them?"

" _You're_ a prince!" Saturna shouted into the wind. She laughed, reached in and tugged my ears before I could stop her.

She shouted again, "Those are real!"

Uh, yeah. They were my ears. I took a big step backward before she could tug on my horns, next. Among Tauren, that's not really um… decent. Though, on hindsight, yeah… maybe I should've let her.

Saturna ran and then skipped to the edge of the bluff and looked over. I rushed after. She squealed—I think it really was a grown woman squealing with delight. She opened her arms in that beautiful dress and leaned into the wind. And Saturna didn't care who was staring, now.

Okay, so I'll give Kael'thas one point. If he found Saturna this way, exactly this way in the middle of dreary Outland, I can completely understand him facing down a demon lord and worse in order to claim her.

"Can you smell that?" Saturna wasn't complaining. She was jubilant. "It's manure, and I don't care!"

Alright, now she'd lost me. Even Tauren have limits.

"I mean… sweet. Like my rose garden at home, like mulch?"

I spent that awkward moment studying her jewelry and see if anything might be a potential scrying orb for Kael'thas. Let's say I did have an in with certain traders out there, and I had already heard that tiny scrying orbs might be… a thing. Just not the sort of low-tech, greasy thing Kael'thas Sunstrider might resort to. It would have been desperate.

Dark gadgets like that were very Black Market, very Madam Goya, you know? If you had one of those, then whoever furnished you with them kind of owned you, too. There was always a danger that they might expose you or draw you in deeper, demanding more shady business favors. Kael'thas would know better. He was more the type to be in charge of that sort of market if he could even access the goods, not one of its put-upon lackeys.

Well, I couldn't keep it up. I realized I must have looked like a fool, sniffing around Saturna to see what earing or bead sewn into her embroidered dress was a scrying orb, but trying not to look like I was a big dumb Tauren doing so. Instantly, I felt like an idiot.

And then it occurred to me—something else was wrong with the scrying orb theory. If Kael'thas could see everything, all the time, by using said tiny scrying orbs, then why did he have any of the problems he currently had? Sylvanas never trusting him for one, Darnassus itself accusing him of a Greatfather Winter kidnapping… Kael'thas should have seen it all coming and prevented it.

So then, the scrying orbs were a handy lie. But whose lie was it? I glinted at Saturna. Yeah, she was pretty. She was soulful and fun… but before all that, I'd considered that she might be a suggestible peon under Kael'thas' full control. I also imagined that she might be an obsessed zealot for him.

But an obsessed zealot for Kael'thas willing to play mind games with the Tauren in order to control our behavior? Like a leash around all our necks?

"Are you done yet?" I let my voice come off rude. "If Kael'thas can see everything that his wife is doing, I'd rather not have him see me staring at you parade around like a harpy in a loincloth. They freeze to death in the winter, you know. Unless they migrate the hell away from our Mulgore."

Woah. That was… pretty awful, even for me. But I wanted to put her on notice, as well.

Saturna sort of… stumbled out of what she was doing, then bowed her head. As if she had been shoved over by someone. Like Baine had shoved me that morning, like I wasn't anything. Which was why I punched him.

I guess that's about how I made her feel. Looking back, I should have apologized.

Saturna got quiet, then. It was a while before she spoke to me. I feared I might have to leave her there by the pond while I awkwardly got on with the investigation alone (while also hiding from Baine, of course).

"I love the sun. But I can't get sick. And I don't get cold."

"…Oh." Well, I could have done better than that. But I was getting really tired of liking her, then being forced to see how shady she was, and then tripping into liking her all over again.

Saturna left me holding her cloak. "Let's get to work."

As we made our way up through the gargantuan, hollow totem pole at the center of the middle rise, climbing the carved ramp that leads up to the other levels of the bluff, Saturna explained why we were alone. "…The others were up all night drinking Mulgore firewater. They shouldn'tve done it. But this is their last day in Thunderbluff, and they might never visit here again. I couldn't hold it against them." Saturna cleared her throat, "So, then, it's just the two of us." She looked at me from beneath a sweep of white blonde hair falling over her right eye. More slipped down, framing her neat jaw.

We walked back out into the sunlight. Cool air and bird song greeted us once again. I kept resisting the urge to apologize to her. But Saturna could be so irritating!

The breeze came around again, pushed more of her corn silk hair around, against her neck, against her lip. She glanced over at me, "Well, this is your investigation. So where do we start?"

"Hrm?"

Saturna stood in my way, stood close. She gave me an angry look, "Turaho, I want to make sure you get what you want. Now, are we going to do this together, or not?"

It was actually a little hot until I remembered she was making me carry her cloak.

I didn't trust my voice just then, so I simply got on with it. Saturna followed me. She walked easily in my hoofprints.

Elder Rise, Spirit Rise, Hunter Rise… That whole morning, I was so distracted while asking the locals questions. Saturna was there to observe, to assist in the interests of Quel'thalas. But she kept being poised and concerned, and so damned helpful. And she held up well, I have to give it to her. Even if she was being sweet to the public, most Tauren had no problem being brutally honest.

Either people were too excited about meeting Queen Saturna of Quel'thalas, or else they said, consistently, that their druid brother or cousin or grandmama was sure the Blood Elves had done the kidnapping. Because, apparently, the druids and the Cenarion Circle knew everything. So that's all we had so far: two days ago there was a winter storm (wait, was it really two whole days?), a flash of lightning, and then my druid-enter-family-connection-here swore a Blood Elf did it.

Even so, you could see it in people's eyes, how surprised, or confused or delighted they were that the Blood Elf queen was not what they expected. Some nervous Tauren got seriously flustered and gave her things. A little melting cake, a handful of wrinkly ribbons, a random story about some woman's twin calves who were learning to swim in Stonebull Lake that went on and on and on. But each time, Saturna took their hands in her own, if they seemed willing. She looked them in their eyes and reassured them that the Blood Elves only wanted to help Thunderbluff. Well, that is, if they had the courage to ask the queen directly why her people were there.

One of the elder, nuttier Tauren was convinced that Saturna's surprise visit was a precursor to some invasion.

"Not when we're both Horde," Saturna gently reminded the old man.

Then, "Well it's a takeover by King Kael'thas in some other kinda way." He raised a big Tauren fist and Saturna hopped back. I grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her from tripping over my hooves. And, I almost dropped her cloak. The old man bubbled up again, "Maybe it's a cold war a'brewin!"

I had to look aside. Who was this guy? He was a worse slack-jawed bumpkin than even I'd been the day before. Perhaps Saturna approached this one because the gray old Tauren was standing nearby the war harness tent and he was wearing an eyepatch. She would have assumed he was a venerable, distinguished warrior. Well, Tauren have better noses than Elves do. To me, this old nutter smelled of fish (probably a big catfish, actually) and had faint scars from fishing lines and hooks all over both his arms and hands, just barely concealed by the fur growing back. I guessed the eyepatch was about a recent injury, part of some simple fishing trip gone terribly wrong. And that's where he was really headed, to get some more help from the fishing trainer or have him treat his wounds, since Wahu probably was the one to take pity on him in the first place.

Crazy old coot. An old man who can't even fish properly. We Tauren are supposed to be great hunters and pass down knowledge through the generations—but somehow, everyone and all that knowledge skipped him? I guess I wouldn't blame them!

Also, pretty sure that a cold war wouldn't 'brew.'

I couldn't stand to be embarrassed any further, "Look, the Burning Crusade was over years ago! More than a decade! Everyone knows that and you should, too. Now will you just go on and tell us what you saw on the night that Greatfather Winter disappeared?"

We started to draw attention to ourselves. Saturna reached out and kindly touched the old Tauren's arm, "Sir. I can't tell you how grateful and safe I feel, knowing that you will be the first line of defense against my husband, should he decide to go on another rampage and embarrass himself again."

I started laughing, hard, before I could catch myself. The old Tauren warmed up, too. He grabbed Saturna's small hand with both of his gray, scarred meaty ones and shook it briskly. Saturna smiled and upped it to a warm hug.

"Oh, you're a catch. Better than that catfish I wrestled out of the water with my bare hands when it tried to get away…"

Saturna raised her eyebrows. See? Told you I guessed that one right.

"Call me Morty!" And Morty shook Saturna's hands again and again, "The queen of Quel'thalas is such a catch!" Loud enough for everyone, "No wonder Kael lets you handle diplomacy." Now he was on nickname terms with the evil king of the Blood Elves dead set on invasion? "This is wonderful! You know, you remind me of my daughter, she's feisty, too…"

And then we were drawn into a discussion about his children, all of his children. There were at least twelve of them. None of them lived nearby in Mulgore. (Not surprised…) Then, Morty went on and couldn't say enough about his grandchildren, living all over Kalimdor. Saturna seemed genuinely interested and amused, when I looked over.

I decided to break up the party so we could go back to investigating Greatfather Winter being kidnapped. You know, as in a crime? With Saturna beside me the whole thing was turning into some tea-and-crumpets, shower us with rose petals, royal visit.

Old Morty called out to us, "Shame your people kidnapped Greatfather Winter, though! I might have invited you over for a great big fried catfish sometime! With home-made dumplings!"

Saturna bristled. Evidently, all her hard work had come to nothing.

"Don't worry. I think the next catfish Morty finds will be gulping him down for dinner."

I hastened Saturna on and we walked along the path beyond the tents and huts, to a rope bridge that would take us back to the middle rise. Hunter Rise should have held some promise with fellow hunters and Pathfinders around. But the few available were mostly busy, and even they were about as enlightened as everyone else regarding the incident. Then, after the Sunwalkers who didn't like her and who really resented me for refusing to take my final rites for months, now Morty… it was time to go.

Saturna kept glancing back at the old gray Tauren that she couldn't sweeten using her special powers.

I decided to pour salt in it, "Does Kael'tahs know you like to take shots at him while he's not around?"

Saturna opened her mouth, stared for a moment, "He's not an Ogre. Kael'thas does have a sense of humor." She looked all the way up at me, "And I did see you laughing, too. Anyway, humor often diffuses tense situations. I use it wherever I go, if I can."

"Still, I bet you wouldn't crack a joke like that while standing before the throne in Silvermoon, not with him looking over your shoulder."

"We all take friendly shots at Kael'thas and each other, all the time. He doesn't mind… that much. And I bet you'd even like my real Bloodknights, too. They can handle a laugh."

"Ah. So the minions you brought with you aren't the real deal?" But you could tell I already knew the truth, that she'd conveniently kept the more dangerous personalities back at home. However, it was all I knew about the rumored elect group of Bloodknights that served Kael'thas personally—their physical descriptions and that they had some nasty habits—but I chose to use the opportunity and let her sweat.

And why not have a little fun? Investigation-wise, we were getting nowhere. Whatever we asked people, it made no difference. They were sure the Blood Elves were responsible, but that was based on rumor and no hard evidence as far as I could tell. Saturna's polished veneer was wearing out. It was now at its thinnest and I guess I was eager to see what would happen to all these perfect manners if I really, really got under her skin.

She went on defending Kael'thas' Burning Crusade-era bodyguards like they were her best friends. Her doing that while we walked across a creaky rope bridge was something. It felt like a fable I remembered, where Mu'sha's holy bridge would give out and drop you to your death you were caught you lying. I kind of kept wishing for it to happen. We'd be dead, but it'd prove me right once and for all.

"Think about it, Turaho—how could we go all through Outland and waving the Kael'thas banner, then slither our way back to civilization without a sense of humor? Imagine how awkward that all was. One day, we were going out to save the great Prince Kael'thas. The next day, we were Sunfury and the villains in that war. Then, we were all back home in Silvermoon years later, pretending none of that happened. If I hadn't lived it, I'd tell you it was ludicrous. But here I am, queen of the Blood Elves, wife to Kael'thas, fending off… awkward accusations in Thunderbluff."

I thought that over. Delight flitted around in my gut unexpectedly. All this time, how awkward must it have been, as she said. Meeting Lor'themar again after that gruesome campaign, shaking his hand like it was nothing. Looking Thrall in the eye. Shrugging it off before Tyrande—as she and Kael'thas were due to come into contact at those yearly summits where the Horde and Alliance tried to keep up the appearance of a united Azeroth. How horribly funny. And so, apparently, Saturna and her Bloodknight friends made all kinds of jokes about draining Zangarmarsh of water, siphoning nether magic from the sky in Netherstorm, all a part of Illidan's weird evil masterwork that Kael'thas was a part of, along with Lady Vashj. I'm sure they kept Prophet Velen anxiety ridden and near-froth-mouthed with violent curses, every time that he saw Kael'thas, Saturna and her Bloodknights. But they would be cavalier. They would be arrogant and 'bemused.' Because they would have no other way to survive those moments with dignity.

I could see that working. Maybe. It wouldn't be funny to anyone else, that was for sure. So then, maybe vain Elves had a point. They were weird, of course they were. We all are. But they were also constantly padding themselves against the harsh, judgmental world. You could grumble alone in a cave or a canyon or a tent. I did. Or, I guess you could celebrate being a complete weirdo with champagne, and living in a palace.

I had to appreciate that was especially true for Saturna. The way she suffered… It could have been tragic. Many people would never understand her feelings for Kael'thas. And I'm not saying that I did, either. But you have to admire that, instead, Saturna had found a good way to let her husband's rotten reputation amuse her. She made it work in her favor.

Like Saturna tricking Baine into thinking maybe she'd sprinkled itty bitty scrying orbs into his fur.

I had to look at that woman again.

"Am I… a mess somehow? Is there something on my dress?" Saturna swept dust from her dress, fussed with her pale hair. Her blue form began to fade again.

"No, but you could put your cloak back on." I also offered to throw it over the bridge for her, as an alternative.

Saturna ignored me. Actually, I think she was daring me.

I waited until the butterfly feeling faded before speaking this time, "We could go and formally interview Chief Baine, but he'll be hiding from us, trust me. Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to put you through that as well?" I felt myself smiling for no real reason, "So, you know, why don't we go get some coffee-"

"You haven't already interviewed him? I know Baine went to go fetch you over this morning."

Memories of Baine and me punching each other, cussing, and then Baine hunched over his miserable Grommash Hold story came back to me. Worse, that it was my whole job and I let my bad, curmudgeon tendencies cheat me out of interviewing the one person who would be the best source of information, Baine. And for two days running, come to think of it. I should have questioned Baine the same day that Saturna arrived. Wait, how many days had it been since Greatfather Winter disappeared? One or two? Everyone kept saying two…

I was lagging behind and Saturna was staring at me, so I quickly fixed that with, "There wasn't any time, of course. I wanted to get here and be prompt."

That seemed to satisfy her. "Well, I should definitely be there when you do interview Baine, anyway."

"Yeah…" Where was I? I couldn't remember what we had been discussing. Then, I freaked out because I had just asked the queen of Quel'thalas out for a coffee. That stopped me cold. By then, we were standing by the big drum at the center of the middle rise. As predicted, Baine was not standing in the chieftan's tent.

I felt Saturna slip something off of my arm. It was her cloak. She finally put it back on and then tugged her hood tight beneath her little chin,

"It's alright. Me having a cloak on again, I'm sure it makes everyone else feel warmer anyway. So, I'll do my bit. Keep up morale around here."

I stamped a hoof and saluted her.

Saturna gave into a smile. She was so eager to shed unhappiness, "Haha! Are we in a war, Pathfinder Runestalker? Against winter?"

I warmed up too, as she predicted, "You're the one who put it that way." Then I helped her fasten her brooch next, to keep the cloak closed up tight and warm. My fingers were really too big for it. She slipped hers beneath mine, then finished latching the shining pin closed into the swirling phoenix artwork.

"Am I presentable again?"

"Your hair is everywhere."

I say the worst things around females when I'm not paying attention.

"…I mean, I like it. You look beautiful."

She gave me a sly grin, as if she'd won.

…Eyeah, she'd won.

Saturna then changed the subject. "Also, I want us to interview the other Bloodknights together. My aim is for you to formally interview every individual being accused by the KRN and clear their names. My closest… Bloodknights, the ones in Silvermoon, are among that group."

"The KRN?" I really was getting distracted. I had a bad feeling that Baine and Saturna had explained this yesterday, but now my mind was drawing a blank.

Saturna stretched her arm out straight and felt the inside of her elbow. I didn't know that ghosts could get aches and pains. It parted her dark cloak and revealed a bit of her dress, falling beautifully over her hip.

"…The Kal'dorei Rogue Network. Night Elf rogues. It only took the KRN two damned days!" I had this instinct that Saturna was actually complaining about how quickly they worked, which felt strange. It was like complaining that the holiday cards and gifts came too early. Right?

I missed the other half of what she said about them. "…Of course, Saturna. I know all about that."

"Do you?" She must have caught on that I wasn't really paying attention. Or that I couldn't. And when my mind re-entered the conversation another time, "…she's the patriot of their triumvirate. But the one rogue the Horde should really watch out for is Alessandre. I don't know what his real name is. That is his code name, in every message we've gleaned for our intelligence. They even say that the rogue who sits in Alessandre's office every day in Darnassus, who goes to and from formal meetings, is not him. He has a doppleganger. Alessandre is an assassin by trade, he lives his life almost entirely in stealth. I don't know how that's even mortally possible. Not for a rogue. Not even druids can manage that. I don't admit to being unsettled by much, but… I hear there was a riot in Stormwind years ago that they think 'the Alessandre' caused. But not even SI:7 can touch him. I've never heard of the Alliance, especially not Stormwind, losing control of someone. With that kind of power, you have to wonder if even Tyrande and Malfurion can rein him in. People like that can find ways to run entire kingdoms, behind the scenes. I should know, it's what Kael'thas ultimately did to Illidan. It was amazing to me. Kael'thas was so brilliant, he eventually had enough dirt on Illidan to go behind his back, and then Kael'thas was finally able to…"

Well, she'd said too much. Saturna was no rogue, herself. Which also proved her point. She had plenty to fear with this Alessandre character.

Suddenly, her hand was on my shoulder, moving down my arm. "You need coffee."

"I… do?"

"Yes, you do. Wasn't that what you were saying earlier? You wanted to take me to go get some coffee? Let's go, Turaho. I'd be honored to have a drink with you…"

At _The Cat and the Shaman_ , there was a ripe-smelling vagrant at the bar as soon as we stepped inside. He was challenging anyone who looked new in town to a firewater drinking contest. They would have to also fund the contest, of course. I put out an arm to shield Saturna from being harassed by this fellow. We took seats in the back.

"That's the same gentleman who challenged my Bloodknights to a drinking contest. Thankfully, our rooms are right upstairs." Saturna told me, while I pulled out her chair for her.

She was lucky to have a chair. I used a dingy stool that had been lying on the floor. I hefted it upright with one strong arm, and sat down in time to see Saturna fascinated with me. Well, that felt nice.

"Turaho, there has to be some other reason that so many Tauren are convinced the Blood Elves are responsible. All those accusations and no hard evidence?"

"Yeah, you're reading my mind. I don't like it, either. I mean, if the testimony was viable, then sure. I'd be the first one to hand you over to Warchief Sylvanas, but—"

Saturna didn't like hearing that. I stopped. I needed to keep the wheels greased between us. Also, why state the obvious?

"And everyone here has some druid relative? I find that hard to believe."

"Hey, Tauren go back helping the Night Elves since the beginning of time, practically. How many times did we team up to save the world together from the Legion? No faction allegiance is going to break that all the way. In my opinion, that is what the Cenarion Circle is for. Obviously, both the Tauren and the Night Elves want it."

Saturna watched me carefully.

"Hey, I don't know any more about it than you do. Don't give me that look."

"Yet, you have completely missed the obvious. The whole Night Elf connection is like oil and water with you."

"Just because the KRN made its official statement against the Blood Elves… is that how you put it?"

"They named my Bloodknights, personally. It was out of nowhere, and with no evidence. Just like we witnessed here in Thunderbluff, today. Turajo, it was totally offensive."

"It's Tura-ho… There's no 'Joe' in my name, Saturna. You did that to me yesterday, too."

She laughed, embarrassed, and apologized repeatedly. Finally she apologized, when there was no power disadvantage for her… My eyes felt heavy. The place was too peaceful to worry about that so much.

I had to wake myself back up, "Wait, I think I missed what you said?" I itched behind my dark horns.

Saturna ordered coffee for both of us in a loud enough voice for the innkeeper to hear. I wished she hadn't done that. The pretty Elf making lots of noise piqued the drunkard's attention all over again. I glared over my shoulder, then moved my stool to block his view.

"You're handsome."

And then, I almost fell over.

Saturna smiled, but wouldn't look at me. She played with her cloth napkin instead. "It had to be said."

"You had to let a little tension out of the ah… balloon?"

Saturna gave into laughter. Less socialite, more of the giggling girl-next-door enjoying how she'd slipped up. Like she was like any of us. That, I could work with.

"Your hooves are cute. I needed to say that as well."

"What?" I chuckled.

"I guess I'm not supposed to admit that, either. But it's interesting. People with hooves for feet. No matter how big or mean or bad-tempered they are… they still have cute cow feet."

"You should stop flirting with me," I warned her. And why did I go and do that? When I was enjoying it? I kind of wanted her to come out and admit it, though. "You've been doing it all morning, in a way. I thought your husband had scrying orbs everywhere."

And we had to deal with that, too. Saturna's smile wilted, then she shrugged.

"Baine… he was trying to call the whole thing off. He and I had a small… disagreement last night."

Really! And why had Baine said nothing? Nothing about having the same misgivings that I had? I could've punched Baine all over again.

"I'm afraid that Kael'thas did get in touch via the scrying orb in my room. And Kael'thas said some… not so helpful things to Baine. Once they were done shouting at each other and the scrying orb was dark, I guess I… scrambled. In the end, I suppose I used my husband's apt timing for his call to my advantage."

Our coffee came. I can take mine hotter than she can, apparently. I took the first sip, while she could only stare.

"Saturna, I wonder why you don't think I'll run off and tell Baine that you tricked him?"

Just as fast, "Because I don't think you have the heart to dismantle the Thalassian Empire singlehandedly when not even the Scourge could. And the Alliance sorely wants to as well, but that's the point of this mission, to prevent that. You'll ruin your career."

"You're projecting, Saturna. It'd ruin your own career. It'd end Kael'thas' reign, or at least this mission crumbling would take a good, violent whack at it. Your political rivals, or even Sylvanas would take care of the rest. And what is with this insisting that the Blood Elves need the two of you? Maybe they'd be better off with someone like… I dunno, Rommath or Lor'themar in charge?"

She smiled prettily, but it was all sharp edges, "When we are in Silvermoon, if you speak to me like that again, it will be considered treason."

"Well, we ain't in Silvermoon now, honey." I shrugged, looked around the tavern. Man, was I getting cheeky again, fast. That coffee was doing the trick.

Saturna sipped her own coffee. She didn't look very used to taking it out of a mug, which I pointed out to her, "Seems a seasoned soldier like you claim to be wouldn't get so lost without a dainty little teacup."

She flushed. Her way of doing it turned her a ghostly purple.

"And it's also interesting that you can still drink coffee."

Saturna flushed back to an opaque white-blue again, "Obviously, it's useful to be able to ingest things. Kael'thas couldn't leave me out of countless state dinners."

I used a hoof to lean my stool on its back legs, rock myself casually. "What is Kael'thas really like? What did he really say to Baine?"

Saturna wasn't going to answer.

"…Or is it so obvious? A Tauren man, young, attractive, single, powerful… Alone in your bedroom… at a time of night when Kael'thas presumes he should be able to call on you and find you alone? But he didn't, did he?"

Saturna had another quiet, innocent sip.

"And why was Baine up there, anyway?" I came back down on all fours, with a thud, "Also, why did Kael'thas think he needed to find you on the scrying orb, catch you off guard? Checking up on you, hrm?"

Saturna set down her mug, breathed out over her bottom row of teeth. Then her lips sealed together again. Impatient smile, once again daring me.

"So I'm not the only Tauren man you're flirting with. And Kael'thas knows this is how you usually work. He was jealous of you and Baine together last night, which confirms it."

Saturna sat back. Her chair creaked, "It's our way, I apologize. Everyone flirts, in the Court of the Sun. It's just a courtly game that Kael'thas and I play together. Even when I'm away from home. My husband appreciates the attention, the challenge…"

"So this is about when you get _back_ home?" Then I made it as dirty as she was being, because I could see that she was going to lead me around in circles, "Your first _night_ back? None of us men here in Mulgore are going to benefit."

Saturna crossed her leg.

I deflected it, got to the point, "Because I don't see how else Kael'thas could possibly enjoy this, not in any real way, while you're across the Great Sea. And I don't blame Baine for being furious that you led him on."

Now it made so much more sense, why Baine didn't tell me a thing about it. But you can't hide an affair (or in this case, flirting up to the brink of an affair) from a Pathfinder, for Earthmother's sake! Of course I was going to find out. Baine, you young, young fool… I didn't warn him about this, specifically, but every single thing else I said about Saturna Sunstrider should have been… Goblin electric fence enough for him!

But it was more than that. Or, even less than that, actually. Saturna didn't see Baine as a real prospect, not unless she truly did hope to have fun on the side while she was far away from Kael'thas, that raving jackass she was married to. You know, sample the local flavors, as it were. In the end, Baine was more powerful than I was, he was also young, maybe naïve in a way. Saturna needed him, especially, to follow her lead if she was going to protect her people. Step one: put a ring through that bull's nose.

And Baine would be easier quarry than I was, actually. I was too… well, jaded. I was also doing an excellent job, at the moment, of proving to Saturna that I couldn't be taken in so easily.

Saturna smiled at the steam rising from her dark coffee, "Poor Baine, he just got caught up in it." But, oh, was she bragging.

"Did he, now?"

Then her tone turned more instructive, "Turaho. As far as you and I, this means that I see you as an equal."

"Sure you do." I grinned back, just as prettily.

"You are like any of the other high-ranking men I work with. And it happened fast, didn't it? You should be proud."

I doubted that the Blood Elf courtiers all flirted as frequently and effectively as she did, though, if Kael'thas was the king of that court and those high-ranking men all still had their heads attached. Some game.

"So. I'm supposed to just hang back and let the queen of Quel'thalas flirt with me?"

Saturna winked, finished her coffee.

I grunted. Not sure if I was annoyed with her, yet again, or disappointed. Or both.

She gave a sad smile, "I should have known. You're experienced, mature. You're too smart for it."

"Well, my queen," I set down my own mug, now that our friendly drink was done, "That's not going to stop me, on my end… As long as we're both having fun."

It surprised her. Her smile brightened. Saturna warmed up, leaned over the table at me, "Older men are so much more interesting, anyway. I could never deny that."

Gods above, did I like her better when she was mispronouncing my name, and not laying it on so thick.

"Really? How old were you, when you first met Kael'thas?" I decided to mess with her and mention her husband again.

Another neat little shrug. There could have been a shield on that arm; it didn't faze her at all, "Oh, only nineteen."

What the… For the love of—?! Greatfather Winter was about to put me on his permanent naughty list, I was sure.

Well Kael'thas, if you ever read this, I'll give you one more point there. I would have blowed up my wife's scrying orb checking in on her too, if I was married to such a firecracker. You see, as a ghost, Saturna hadn't aged… I mean, she did seem youthful, but to have it confirmed!

Yeesh. Talk about stressed. And it was just the first part of my first day. I still had a few more shocking developments to go, including Goblins and then a Night Elf I had to talk to. (Crazy surprise, right?) After all that, was my danged… Sunwalker Paladin ceremony that evening in Bloodhoof, which I was sure I would not be able to stomach with much sincerity. Definitely not after spending much of the day with a sneaky Thalassian Bloodknight, which I had already decided were as mean and nasty as Paladins could get. I had been avoiding coming on as a full Paladin for my own reasons, but meeting Saturna was even less encouraging, her good Elven looks aside.

Hang in there, you'll see. Like I promised before, I'm not holding anything back.

"…Saturna, your hand is on my leg."

"Oh, shoot. I wondered where I left it. Well, I'm so glad you found it, Turaho."

 _Somebody… help me…_


	6. The Drinky Monky Show!

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Fun fact—I'm also finishing a novel and working on some other stories for publication online. Not so fun fact—I therefore do not have a lot of time for this story. For that reason, I'll be posting shorter chapters more frequently, a lot like this one. Look for them each Sunday! (At least now I can give you a more consistent schedule.)

Second fun fact—I'm a huge fan of the anime _Shin Chan_ , and there's an episode called 'The Drinky Hiro Show', so that's where this chapter title comes from!

* * *

 **Chapter 6: The Drinky Monky Show**

 **I** 'm really grateful that this next thing occurred to me in the middle of my first day investigating…

Kael'thas is a mage.

Technically, he's a Bloodmage, whatever that means. I don't really get magic-users. But somewhere in there is the ability to summon portals and tear through time and space to be nearby his part-ghost-part-intoxicant-part-wife Saturna Sunstrider if he ever decides he's done being dangled on a string that stretches from Thunderbluff all the way to Silvermoon City.

Yeowch. So I decided to stay on my guard.

After all that flirting and drinking coffee with Saturna at _The Cat and the Shaman_ , I was supposed to go to Bloodhoof Village and get ready for my Sunwalker initiation. Saturna wanted to go over early with me and 'meet my family'. And also probably hide away someplace that wasn't a capital city her husband could quickly port to. You know, after the drama with Baine last night? That was my best guess…

Either that, or Saturna wanted to run off and hide with me in some intimate closet that wasn't in a city her husband could easily port to. You know, after our fun chat that morning?

In the middle of my flustered brain trying to work out whether Saturna truly wanted me or not, and whether I knew of a locking closet discreet enough over in Bloodhoof to chance it…

I told her No.

See? I wasn't completely under her spell. Or I wasn't, yet.

On my way out of the inn, that vagrant who wanted firewater so badly followed me. Something that I was honestly kind of glad for, because I wanted a way to ensure he wouldn't bother Saturna. Handling him outside seemed a great chance to do that.

I shouted at him without turning around, to let him know I was onto his stupid butt, "Hey, buddy!"

"Eh?"

The grayish spotted Tauren stopped mid-step. He was a little younger than I thought. That's how shaggy and scruffy he looked. Still older than me, though. He seemed to think himself capable of stalking behind me without being noticed. I looked him over. He was a monk. Heh, would you believe it? Another drunk monk brewmaster. Of course, being a Tauren, his drink of choice was firewater. Also, I get monks living more simplistically, but to the point of looking like a bum? That was somehow even funnier. He looked mostly gray now, covered in tavern-floor sawdust and days' worth of dirt from sleeping rough, but I could imagine him as a dark brown-and-white-spotted bull once upon a time.

"Happy Holidays!" the Tauren monk stamped his hoof and threw his arms up, like he was going to hug me. I took a large step back, but then held my ground, however he gestured and tried to dance about.

The next thing out of his silly mouth, "Your friend is cute, why aren't you the one taking her home?"

"Because her husband is the king of Quel'thalas. Do you know King Kael'thas Sunstrider? Who nearly razed Outland to the ground?" An exaggeration, but I didn't want Saturna to have anything to worry about while I couldn't be there to watch for the shiftier locals.

…And then it occurred to me that I must have sounded like one of her zealous Kael'thas-worshipping Bloodknights, fawning over her.

The spotted monk accused me of the same.

"Just don't be stupid and give her a hard time, if they ever do let you back inside the inn. Her Bloodmage husband can probably portal here with half a thought, which is why I'm leaving." I turned to go, "You should do the same."

This fool mocked me, mimicking me with a baby voice. I turned immediately on my heel and tossed my dark horns at him. The monk sank into a crouch, ready. Whatever, I could rofl-stomp his arse… That's Orgrimmar slang I picked up from Baine once, I'm sure.

Then, I thought about what the monk had just said. "You… you were with her Bloodknights last night? That's how you know. How they are, how they talk, what they think?" Because Mu'sha only knows, I just got annoying 'Huzzah's!', tea party clapping and derisive remarks from them the other day. Who knew what they were really up to?

The spotted monk had a lazy seat on the ground. After a night of drinking and nobody else to refresh his high, he must have been worn out. I sensed that a migraine must be coming on…

"HEY!"

"Ow! Man, keep it quiet… Geesh. All I wanted was some more firewater. I come all the way to Mulgore for that stuff, once a year. It's only good here."

He put a hand on his head, began to rub between his curved white horns. They looked like handles to me. That's what I told him. I quickly introduced myself as a Pathfinder hunting for the missing Greatfather Winter, on behalf of Chief Baine no less, and then I threatened to grab those handle-bar horns and make his headache so much worse if he didn't cooperate.

"Tell me, what did those Elves say last night?"

"They were just happy. I made them all happy with the firewater. Eheh… they were such lightweights."

"Yeah? What were they so happy about? Did they toast anything? Anything besides the holiday? They must have been celebrating something."

"Eh… uh…"

"We're close enough for me to toss you off the side of the bluff, by those horns. And I'm about quick enough to do it before the Bluffwatchers can stop me. How many messes did you create last night? Giving the Blood Elf women a hard time, hassling the customers?" I shouted at him, "Drunk and disorderly?!"

"Alright! Man, jus… just… the season. 'Happy Winter's Veil!' That's what they said over and over."

"Nothing else? Nobody gossiped? Nobody tried any stunts so far away from home, or let loose some steam about how much they secretly hate Kael'thas?"

"Well, after they got drunk, then they got mad."

This was taking forever, and he was not catching on, at all. "Mad about…?"

"They were mad that the Night Elves accused them. They all wanted to take a piece out of that… Ass… Al-ass…"

"Alessandre."

"Yeah, him. Big Night Elf… Said they saw him." He waggled his big fingers, mimicking a ghost and making howling noises to go with it. I asked him to please stop.

"When did they see him—"

"Shadowmelded! Alessandre was sneaky, shadowmelding and stealthing all over the place. Like a ghost. Haha! They were tired of him messing with them."

Well, kodo shit.

"Hey, you know, I also saw Chief Baine and your pretty friend all cuddly in the corner last night, too. Then they ran upstairs together—"

"Saw Alessandre? When? Here?" But I was asking the obvious. I tried to hide my fear, that someone like that might be waltzing around Thunderbluff, invisible. I guessed Saturna's arrogant underlings didn't tell her everything. They probably assumed they were protecting their queen from it and could just handle a lone Night Elf rogue themselves. A royally stupid move.

I'd have to whisper something to one of the Bluffwatchers on my way out. If those Bloodknights were still drunk and passed out in their rooms, then they were better off if I didn't wake them up. At least they'd stay out of the way.

I tried to remain focused on the investigation itself, "Did those Blood Elves say anything about the holiday, though? About Greatfather Winter?"

My spotted friend with a headache shrugged.

I would have enough time to interview Saturna's Bloodknights one-on-one, later. Saturna would even encourage it. Well, this monk had only managed to get me more frustrated than when I started out. And now I was paranoid about a Night Elf rogue being about. A dangerous one. I thought I had left all that behind me, in Ashenvale.

Might as well also ask, "And one last thing. What did you see on the night Greatfather Winter was taken? I'm asking everyone on the bluff, if I can."

The monk sat there, staring. He was going to pass out any moment, I could tell. I took a few irked steps back. I had other places to be. A Tauren Pathfinder gathers no moss, man!

But here's a lesson. Patience is also the greatest friend of any Pathfinder.

"…It had horns."

"What did?"

"The lightning came for the horns. It was so terrible. Those got hit first. These two threads, like this… fizzz pop-pop! Then I heard it frying, I could even smell it. Everyone was blinded by the flash, so bright. Nobody else saw what I did. But I guess I was drunk, so I was looking right at it, I didn't care. I felt better later, well only a little better, if I'm being honest…"

My pulse raced, "Why? What made you feel better? What did you see that got struck by lightning during that snow storm?"

"It was a Blood Elf."

I rolled my eyes, for the umpteenth time that day.

"A Blood Elf with horns. It wasn't a Tauren. That made me feel better, a little. Is that bad? Am I a horrible person? The Blood Elves are our allies after all…"

I concluded, "And then you never stopped drinking, because of what you saw."

The monk slumped over, truly sad. "She screamed like a banshee and it was so horrible. I never want to see something like that again. Lightning right through her poor skull."

A she?

She might not be Nathanos nor Gallywix. But she might be working for either of them… some hired Demon Hunter, then? Though, a Blood Elf Demon Hunter might also work for Saturna. And the Demon Hunters all had a direct connection to Kael'thas, through Illidan and their work in Outland. Well, unless this monk guy was just full of foolishness as well as firewater.

I wanted to ask more, but this guy was fast asleep by the time I worked the many leads out in my mind.

I kicked him, just a hard nudge. I was about to do it a few more times, but the Bluffwatchers were… watching, and contrary to my previous threat, I didn't really want to throw another Tauren off the side of the bluff. Not if I could help it. I left it at that.

" _Turaho Runestalker…"_

I turned back. The monk's eyes were on me again. Green magic wafted from them.

"Heh. Some trick." But I did not remember introducing myself to this punk-monk. I also did not know monks had this kind of… power.

" _Watch yourself."_ And he smiled as sage and sane as anything. The sloven drunkenness had completely left him. I knew then that a powerful spirit possessed him now. Maybe it was the real reason why he drank, why he made a yearly pilgrimage to Mulgore in order to get himself that drunk? Possession can do that to a person. You know, I used to wonder whether Sylvanas was actually possessed, because, to me, she seemed to swing from being heroic (albeit a dark hero) in some situations, over to playing a nasty piece of work on other days.

That was a shock. I didn't expect to feel sorry for the guy.

I stayed calm, as I know you should do around angry spirits. They feed off fear. Dogs, too. Possibly also Sylvanas, "What do I watch out for? Who, or what, is coming for me?"

" _A man with many heads. One in Stormwind. One in Darnassus. One in Silvermoon. One in Mulgore. The fifth head… is in your mind."_

This was making my fur stand on end, but it was also starting to feel strangely familiar. Like something I'd read about or seen once… In the end, the Alliance cities being mentioned? That gave the game away.

I made my voice strong, "If this man is really so great, he would know where Greatfather is already. Does he?" I laughed, "Because if he doesn't, for all his dark accolades, he isn't worth a pile of kodo biscuits."

Green magic hissed in thin flames up along the monk's sleeves, raced up to the tips of his horns. Tauren around us began to gasp and stare.

I counted, "Three… two… one…"

Thunk. The spell done, the monk hit the floor and passed out. His loud snoring soon put everyone back at ease.

One of the Bluffwatchers jogged over and stood beside me. She swiped her reddish tail with worry, "Is everything really alright? Should we drag him away, or lock him up safe, perhaps? Maybe we should fetch a priest—"

"Eh, he just needs to sleep it off."

She shook her head at me, amazed, "…But how did you do that?"

I only explained that I was working for Chief Baine and there was a dangerous Night Elf rogue about. I asked her to go directly to Baine and say I sent her to do it. The young Bluffwatcher looked excited about the prospect of meeting Baine himself, especially for some important assignment. But I couldn't stop thinking about whatever silly, scandalous situation Baine had stupidly gotten himself involved in with the Queen of Quel'thalas, and Kael'thas shouting at them through the scrying orb. Baine was not as impressive to me at the moment.

Once the crowd melted away, I was again alone, "The real question is, why is a Night Elf rogue so into Draenei prophecy? And how did he come to master an old Twilight Cultist spell? And he would go through all that just for his personal amusement?"

Because I'd had to put up with those guys, too. Twilight Cultists were in Thousand Needles, Ashenvale and pretty much everywhere else. I always thought the Night Elves were fundamentally opposed to that cult. So what was the connection? I hoped the Twilight Cultists didn't also want a piece of Greatfather Winter? It seemed too far-fetched, even for them. Again, what would their motivation be? Twlight Cultists were interested in the old gods, in dark power. Greatfather Winter was neither of those things.

Triumvir Rogue Alessandre… Yes, Saturna had warned me, but she had barely scratched the surface. To go that far, even as a Night Elf, he was particularly dark.

I didn't need the whole ghost-voice thing explained to me in the end. I knew. I always trusted my instinct. I was being warned off of Alessandre's turf. I wondered if that meant he knew Saturna had already cautioned me. It was the only way I would truly get that threat, if Alessandre knew that Saturna had confided in me. Especially with the Alliance cities being mentioned and all. Had Alessandre been following us, then, listening to everything? The _whole_ thing?

Slowly, Tauren got back to chatting with friends, going about their errands. The local blacksmith's hammer pounded rhythmically, fixing dents in an old shield. It was sad in a way, how well we'd become used to strange, sinister magic in our part of the world. It was enough to make a Tauren feel jaded about the way the Horde is going. Wait, I was already jaded.

And here's why. Strange crap just won't leave us alone… The voice rasped again, shocking even the most complacent of us, _"THE SIXTH HEAD IS THE HEAD OF A MURDERER!"_

I had to blink. The drunk monk was still out cold. I saw the body lying there, not moving, not saying anything. I yelled for people to get back, and we did. The Bluffwatchers ran out and helped, giving orders to give the drunk a wide berth. We all waited for a while, but nothing else seemed to be going down. Maybe this Alessandre fellow just got impatient. He was probably pissed that I didn't spook the way he wanted me to. But then, he'd used the cultist spell… and then also managed a spooky god-voice without having to rely on it? How many weird, freaky powers did this guy have? It was like he collected them, some kind of 'freaky weird power snob' who only liked to use some god-voices in certain situations… trying to think through all that was making my head hurt.

I simply had to shake myself out of it and accept that this proved Saturna's theories about Alessandre. Yes, things were this bad. And, he was here in Thunderbluff.

What next? I couldn't be a one-man army about this. I quickly deduced that Saturna would be fine. Other than being the Bloodknight Matriarch herself (and that did mean something), she was surrounded by people and had many guards either upstairs in the inn, sleeping. Or, there were Bluffwatchers assigned to watch the queen's every move. Baine was not going to make the same mistake with an important guest in Thunderbluff, twice.

And if Alessandre had wanted her, he would have got her already, right? I calmed, made myself think it all the way through. Alessandre clearly felt too much was at stake, politically, if he committed an act of war on Silvermoon and the Horde on his own. And the same went for Chief Baine.

So, our Blood Elf guests and our chief should be alright. Then, with real discomfort, I recognized that the only other vulnerable person in this situation was me. In comparison, on the scale of queens of Silvermoon and triumvir rogues of Darnassus, I was a nobody. A lowly Tauren Pathfinder could get picked off at any time. And all my best gear was back at the hut. I hadn't wanted to tow it, and everything else I would need for my Sunwalker initiation, around all day. A bad, bad mistake.

So… as for me? Before I left Thunderbluff, I bought myself a gun.


	7. Flat Track Goblin Derby

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : _The Fitz_ started out as a spoof of _Quark's_ from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, but then… I got lazy. I think there's a tradition of spoofing Star Trek in this fanfic series, right? Well, at the least, you can check out the Star Trek: Next Generation spoof I did for "MLFMP 2: Son of Kael'thas" Cpt 24: TK Star Trek spoof! Kael'thas even traveled back in time...

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Flat Track Goblin Derby**

 **I** had lied to Saturna, actually. Two more points for me that afternoon. There was something else I needed to do before leaving Mulgore, whether Baine liked it or not. And Saturna definitely couldn't know about it, either. She'd ruin it. I needed to go see the Venture Co. I also figured that heading there first, into territory controlled by Goblin mobsters and worse, would throw off my Night Elf stalker.

You see, the Venture Co. always has some nasty technology in place at every dig site to deter rogues and thieves. Explosive, horrific stuff developed over generations of the most heartless, scheming Goblins who would rather see someone (even if it was one of their own workers) blown up in bloody chunks, rather than lose any of their precious capital. If Alessandre was worth his salt, then he would get it and keep a wide berth.

I was going to see the Venture Co. unofficially, because Tauren aren't supposed to like, let alone know anyone in the Venture Co. But I did. A Pathfinder finds himself investigating the Venture Co. all the time, so being actually at-war with them is never a good idea. You figure that out close to your second year, I reckon.

That's just a nice little tidbit of advice to the young Pathfinders out there. It's doubtless you'll be following my stunning career that ended in a gargantuan trainwreck with the Blood Elves.

Anywho—so, the first thing to know about the Venture Co. in Mulgore? And I ought to prepare you… Supervisor Fitzsprocket is still alive.

I know we've put a lot of hits on him over the years, but he's become very good at faking his own death for that same reason. Deep in the Venture Co. mines, they even have a bar named after him. The employees go there to take their breaks, and _The Fitz_ was humming mid-day with all races and creeds. In a way, _The Fitz_ was very emblematic of the whole Venture Co.

Here, I'll tell you why. Picture this…

You are a Gnoll. Not a Tauren nor a Blood Elf nor a Draenei reading this… You are a Gnoll who lived in Goldshire until some Human guard captain told an adventurer to go and raid your village, kill everyone. Take everything. And no one will help you. All of the other Gnolls are gone and it's too far for your little legs to walk, to get to Westfall and see your cousins, without you becoming exposed on the road and slaughtered, night or day. The big people of the world don't care. They want you dead. They kill you for sport. It's clear now that your lot as a Gnoll is to suffer, and wait to die.

But then, one day in the forest, a big person, perhaps wearing a mining helmet and carrying a clipboard, extends a hand to you, shakes it, and tells you he can get you someplace safe, but you'll have to work. Work hard. What would you do? Where would you go?

Now, you are a displaced Gnoll from Goldshire and you're on a ship. You are seeing the ocean for the first time. You are seeing continents pass you by. Massive. But you're not so little anymore. The others around you are just as brave, even while they also hold their pickaxes in hand. They are eager and ready to work, ready as you swore you'd be. Together, you and your new family brave storms and an overnight caravan through the Barrens to a beautiful green place called Mulgore.

Maybe your new job is to pile rocks into a cart by day. You can only glimpse Mulgore and its rolling hills by moonlight but, Tauren-permitting, you are finally a Gnoll with your own money, powerful friends who would never hunt you down for existing, and you also have, well, a relative amount of freedom. Even better, if you don't like mining beneath the mountains of Mulgore, then you can apply for a transfer, and even aspire to become a supervisor, just like the man in the yellow hat who reached his hand out to you, or just like Fitzsprocket himself. And then, you can really strike out someplace on your own.

Some creatures call that kind of thing freedom.

People everywhere, in need of work and protection, or who can't stay in their homes, find a welcome, if not shady home in the Venture Co. The work is grueling, and things aren't always consistent. But the Venture Co. keeps its people mostly secure (aside from rogue-explosives), fed and sheltered, if nothing else. To that Gnoll, life in the Venture Co. is a luxury.

Gnolls, Goblins, Humans, whoever… it takes all kinds to make a world. That's what being a Pathfinder taught me. And the Venture Co. definitely is its own little world. I don't mean to romanticize about a company that exploits nature, don't get me wrong—but I do want you to get why I keep the kind of relationship with the Venture Co. where I can walk in there, say hello to some folks and not get hassled, as long as it's obvious I'm headed to _The Fitz_. Sometimes, the Venture Co. works against me, sure, but I'll always need to be able to work with them.

So- the minute I walked in there, after all that nice stuff I just told you, what do you think I heard from the man himself?

"Eh Turaho! I hoird you're out to prove Greatfatha Winta is real! What an assignment, hahahaha!"

Me and the Venture Co. It's a love-hate relationship.

Supervisor Fitzsprocket, hero to many little people and vile obstruction to a lot of big people in Mulgore, he was shouting and waving at me from behind the bar at _The Fitz_. He had two gold front teeth, and I could see them from where I was. Fitz was also probably warning off his shadier customers that a Pathfinder had just walked in. Fitz is incredibly clever.

There were gambling tables in the back and pretty ladies to help 'facilitate' with that. If anything more was ever going down, I always made sure not to notice it. I'm confident in my skills, but I'm not a one-man army.

"Dabble!" A chorus of people cheered from back there. They were huddled around some machine that kept making pretty plunking noises. I could hear bets being placed on whatever that machine was doing.

I don't really know that word. I never played that game. I just know it involves the prettiest girls in the place, the Venture Co. employees love it, and it's very very expensive. People lost their life savings to it. This afternoon, a white-furred Tauren lady in a slinky grass-green dress split to the thigh was standing over there.

Oh? Might be time to learn how to play Dabble…

But I was on assignment. I had a seat and kept staring, hoping that she would notice me doing so, and get that a special little game was on between the two of us, but I was pretty much in my own head by then and I knew it.

I gave up my half-assed flirting and ordered something to drink instead, to help me fit in. Enough smugglers, some are Tauren, actually, come through the mines to _The Fitz_ looking to do business, so I didn't raise every single head in the room.

"Ah, so Cokie's doing well." Fitz made his way down the bar to me, pretending to wipe it down.

"Cokie?"

"She's my new Pathfinder bait. Draenei goil weren't workin' out too good."

"Yeah, you'd think with hooves and horns in common, we would all be exactly the same, but…" I sucked my teeth at him, totally unsympathetic at Fitz's particularly dishonorable err against us Tauren.

"But ya never gamble, Turaho! So I guess not even she can peel ya's away from the bar."

"…Last name?" I was seriously going to look this Cokie cookie up later. Or maybe I wasn't. My brain didn't care about how much sense it made. A niggling thought teased me that it was Saturna's fault. A morning of following around a pretty woman Elf I couldn't have, whether I was sure I liked her or not, was starting to wear on me.

Strange, Saturna being married to that useless Kael'thas was making me think that I had a chance. It should have been the other way around.

Yeah, if Kael'thas ever reads this, I'm pretty much a dead man.

Fitz gave me a smug look, "Her name is Cokie Whitefeathers."

Well, ask a stupid question. Of course a girl who worked at Fitz's place wouldn't use a real last name.

"She is pwoitty sweet, like a cookie. With just a little bit a' crunch." Fitz rubbed his hands together fiendishly, like we were about to break into the Orgrimmar bank vault, "And she looks pwoitty soft, eh? At least that's what I been told—"

"Fitz, that's one of our women you're talking about." I grunted. Eventhough I'm a liar and a dog and I definitely did want to hear more.

"And she can be yours, for the right…" he avoided saying 'price' though I know he badly wanted to negotiate terms right there.

"Fitz, look—"

"I think yer gonna need a pwoitty big holiday gift, is all I'm sayin'. I hear you're up to your eyeballs in it this time. So why not treat yerself? To… Cokie Whitefeathers." He waggled his grimy eyebrows at me.

Fitz didn't need to and annoy the hell out of me, _and_ run the bar. There were plenty of bartenders and waiters in there. The place was a lucrative sideline for him and a way to keep in good with his own employees, reassure them that their boss is not ever really dead. Whatever the Tauren did to Fitz, the paychecks would keep on coming. Now that's a happy hour.

"Fitz, lemme ask you something, and I don't have a lot of time. You got any special orders for a Dwarf-sized crate with holes cut in it recently?"

Fitz knew what the hell I meant. I didn't have time to tramp all through the extensive Venture Co. tunnel system, looking around and asking questions. But if anything was going down about a kidnapped Dwarf in Mulgore? Fitz would know about it. And, I would know whether Fitz was lying to me. I just needed to be able to see the whites of his eyes.

"Dwarf-sized, box…" Fitz kept pretending to clean his pristinely polished bar that he'd gladly attack a bartender with a pipewrench with, if it wasn't already that clean. See? Told you that rag was a prop. "…Never hoid of it."

I slammed my fist on the counter. That got him meeting my gaze alright. Old Pathfinder's trick.

Fitz frowned at me, because it worked. I sighed, because now that I could see his eyes, I knew that Fitz was innocent.

"Damn you, Fitz. You'd waste my time to keep me lingering around here and pay for some cookie?"

He said it again, fingers making a flourish in the air, "Cokie… Whitefeathers."

"Cut it out!"

Then another, more nasal Goblin voice reached my ears. This was a Goblin girl I knew, a pretty great one, actually, named Bonnie Pipewrench. Bonnie was one of Fitz's managers. She was good with his numbers. So good with her calculations regarding his money, in fact, that Fitz, to date, had no real evidence that she was also a smuggler.

Fitz gritted his teeth and gave up. He went to go wipe down the other end of the bar.

"Eh, the Boss is mad at me because I gave him an excellent holiday gift. One he can't retoin. So after all my hairy escapades this year? Heh, looks like I still have my job, Turaho."

"Glad to hear it." I rested my elbow on the bar.

By the way, she'd sweet-talked her way into sitting in my lap, once. Yeah, yeah, I know that she's a Goblin. And a Venture Co. Goblin at that. But like I said, she's a pretty great girl. I was really drunk the evening it happened and had just come home from a rotten mission. But we both knew it wasn't going to happen again.

Her still being single made me a little sad, if I'm going to be honest. I actually always thought she and Fitz would make a great couple if he ever got over himself. He called it hate. I knew it was love and jealousy. The moment he ever managed to fire Bonnie, Fitz would make a play for her because it would mean no loss of face for him. Right now, though, Bonnie could reject Fitz and secretly take his money while she was at it.

Or, maybe Bonnie was the one who needed to clean up her act? So hard to tell with Goblins.

Bonnie hopped onto a barstool, then sat on the bar and crossed her leg at me. I winked at her.

"So, I have something fer ya, finally. I got you a great holiday gift, too."

"Nice."

Bonnie and me, we pretty much talk in code. She had a present for me. But I already knew what it was… you'll see.

"I'm actually soiprized you didn't ask what I got fer the Fitz? You sure you don't wanna know?"

I thought for a while. Yes, we liked to play games together. This was one of my favorites, me trying to see how her mind worked. At last I made a face, looked from her to the leggy Tauren princess in the corner. She grinned, triumphant.

I huffed, eventhough I'd won, "You know, I could have used my very own personal Dabble girl."

Bonnie didn't like that. I should not have said it, not considering our history… or, lack of history. I winced.

"Maybe you don't want ya pretty mahbles after all, hrm? You only asked for 'em about a hundred thousand times and I even did a fava fer Madame Goya to git down the price."

Don't worry, someone like Bonnie can manage to safely run Madame Goya around in circles. At least for a while. Bonnie scrunched her nose at me and hopped back down to the floor, began to strut away.

I watched her go, wondering whether I really had time for what it would take for me to make up for being such an ass. "So… you really do have my, uh, marbles?"

Bonnie turned around, hand on her hip.

"Ya gotta play me for it, Turaho. Ya know that."

"You and what army?" I smiled and stood up. Also, I slightly hoped the grass-green goddess was watching my bravado. She wasn't.

Focused on her job to the last. A working girl, indeed!

Bonnie snapped her fingers. I hadn't noticed the table by the other doors. A gaggle of very short women were seated there, giggling over some very colorful drinks. But they assembled themselves tight around Bonnie when she called. They sized me up.

"Well, well… I think I can still take you all on, though."

"Really?" Bonnie arched her eyebrow playfully, "Ya sure? Cause we're playin' a different game tonight."

"Which is?" The last time we used the Simulator, my horns punched a hole in the simulated volleyball on simulated Tanaris Beach. Their super-tiny bikinis were well worth it, though.

You're not still shocked, are you? I did say I was a dog. On some days, I'm more dog than Tauren. I was still operating under the weight of a Night Elf rogue wanting to kill me, so this was a dog-day.

The Murloc on her team, Megurgl or something like that, I dunno how how you spell it, threw her hands up at me, in challenge.

"Meg says, we ain't playin' that volley ball game no more."

"And what does Meg want to play with me instead?" I couldn't help flirting, it was too easy. I watched Meg's orange skin blush a fiery tropical punch color.

Hey, have you ever seen a girl Murloc before? It's so adorable. If one wanted to adopt big ole' me for a week, I wouldn't question it. Not in that way… It'd just be so cute! Like having a pet pug that wants to go shopping for itty bitty heels and pantsuits all week. And have teeny, tiny fish dinners by the eensiest candle lights…

"Hey Fitz! We need to use the Simulator."

Fitz mostly grunted at Bonnie from across the bar.

She knew where the keys were, anyway. Maybe that was the problem, both of them knew that. In the back room, Bonnie picked the lock to the safe, snatched the keys out and gestured for the rest of us to follow. As if she hadn't just stolen from the great Supervisor Fitzsprocket where he could probably see her doing it.

Like I said. It's true love…

We went upstairs. In a pretty drab room there were these silver machines hooked up with colorful wires. Each had a platform with round white lights. You stood on those platforms and they transported you someplace else. Some went to dungeons, others went to battlegrounds around Azeroth. Such an invention solves a lot of problems for the Venture Co. you see. They often get pegged down working in places surrounded by enemy camps (a.k.a official Horde and Alliance settlements), if you think about it. Some of the machines, the best ones, took you to a simulated place where you could have an insane amount of fun with really great friends who didn't mind how… creative that sort of thing was. Some people prefer real life. But Bonnie liked games and so did I. I loved outwitting people. So we didn't mind if the walls flared sometimes, or if the thing fizzed out. Venture Co. Simulators were just spectacular to people like us.

"Ya ready? Cause Turaho, I'm warnin' ya," She said in her high-pitched femme fatale voice, "This one's a killa."

We phased into an empty, expansive hall. The windows painted over with lazy black slashes. A few sunbeams got through. I nodded that I liked it. There were old posters pasted to the walls, rows of dusty team pennants hanging from the ceiling. Sports equipment was stacked in the corners. You could hear an echo if you spoke, a great one if you cheered, I bet. Excellent. The old warehouse setup excited me. Mobsters, a showdown with a villain, a shady sporting event, a factory or a secret lair… you could roleplay almost anything in an old warehouse.

Ours was an underground, black market sporting event. Nice.

But then, I noticed there was a flat track in an oval shape painted on the floor. The girls were busy putting on helmets and skates.

"Wait, what's this?"

"New simulation. It's a game called roller derby. Ya heard of it?" she teased, "It goes real, real fast… you're gonna fall, get whipped, probably crash a few times. And there's no referee and no penalty box, in my version, ya dig? Just pure, vicious fun. And it's the only way ya getting' yer mahbles, after being so mean ta mean downstairs, kay hun?"

Suddenly, working for Saturna Sunstrider sounded like a walk in the park. "I forgot, there's this Blood Elf queen chick I have to help with a… thing. Greatfather winter was kidnapped and they're blaming Kael'thas Sunstrider, did you hear about it? I should probably just go. I'll make up the price of the marbles later, in some other way."

And it must have sounded like a damn lie. They weren't hearing any of it.

I was the only one on my team. Fun.

They put a helmet on me that had stars on the sides and told me that it meant I had to be my own jammer.

"You're much bigger, so we'll try and keep it fair."

Sure, Bonnie. Fair.

"…We'll share the same pack. That way, I won't get a point every time I pass you. We ain't got a bunch of Tauren girls for me to pass."

"Okay…"

"This is how ya score points." Bonnie skated easily out to the track, while her girlfriends assembled themselves in two lines in front of her. I noticed that she was the only other one wearing a star helmet. "We skate around the track. You and I are the jammers. We start at the back of the pack. You gotta get through all of us in order to get in the lead."

"Can I use my horns—"

"NO." Everyone said at once.

Dammit.

Megurgl threw her hands up at me emphatically several times. I've heard told that she has a beautiful voice under water.

"Sorry, Meg. I promise you, especially, that I won't use my horns."

She gave a confident nod.

"Alright, so that's how I score a point, by passing people. That's not too hard."

"Wrong. You're the lead jammer, then. That status means you can _start_ scoring the points. You have to pass through all of us again in order to actually start scoring. Ya do it once, great. You do it a second, third, foith time… now ya winnin'."

I thought it over. It sort of made me think of kicking a ball past someone to the goal at the other end of the field. Except, you, yourself, were the ball. You had to get yourself all the way to the other side, through the pack. Okay, I could visualize that.

"We can hip check ya, but we really shouldn't shove ya. Not that anyone's gonna stop us. If I ever catch up to ya, and then I pass ya, then I get to start scoring some points."

I could see that I'd fall behind, very, very quickly if I fell out of lead jammer status.

"Alright. But if I win, I can get my marbles."

You'll see why the marbles were so important in a minute. In fact, I sensed they would be integral to the investigation in Silvermoon. Over there, I'd be totally alone, and they'd turn me into a one-man spy network. In case you thought I was just fooling around, flirting with Murloc girls.

I winked at Megurgle. She blushed fruit-punch again.

Shooo cyuuute!

Bonnie blew the whistle, and we were off. The pack went first. A girl with a line stripe on her helmet seemed to be running things. It was weird for me that they were kind of wiggling their hips about, swerving and checking back to see if I was coming. But I made my peace with it. It was easy to see, right away, from their costumes and matching helmets, that this was a girls' game. And they said something about hip-checks before, right? So this was about hips, blocking or something.

Yes, it was also a little hot. I would have loved to play this game with Miss Cookie downstairs, but I learned a while back that Bonnie's girlfriends made you pay if you ever let seduction cloud your mind… just like someone else I knew.

"Second whistle is ours, Turaho. Pay attention." She had the toe of her skate right on the starting line. I tried to mimic her.

Of course, she blew the whistle when I was most distracted. Bonnie out-skated me in moments. I struggled to keep up. Also, Tauren feet aren't really made for skates, are they? I fell over after a few over-confident swipes.

I heard the girls laughing. They were coming up fast and about to lap me again. Bonnie was hot on their heels.

"Turaho, if I pass you, since you're yer own team… I'm gonna be lead jammer!"

"Oh no you don't…" I made my big Tauren thighs do the work, and kept steady. I looked back behind me. At this point, I had to out-skate Bonnie! I couldn't let her catch up with me, and it started to look like she was chasing me around the rink, I'm sure.

The girls all laughed again. Those little monstresses!

I skated like a mad bull. I went all over the place, slipping and sliding. I had more powerful strides, but Bonnie was persistent. At last, we both caught up to the back of her team. I tried to bowl my way through, but hip-checks at knee-height are more painful than you might imagine. Bonnie was able to slip between my spread legs. I tried to step through bodies, catch up with her.

"Geez! This is damned hard!"

"It's fun!" Cheered a Gnoll with a pink bow on her helmet. Her tiny round ears were sticking through beside that.

Did I mention that Gnoll girls are adorable too? Awww…

But she barked at me when I tried to, uh, 'pet' her. On the shoulder! It wasn't like that!

So Bonnie got to the front first.

"Bonnie is the lead jammer!" The Gnoll girl cheered, and then she howled triumphantly.

I finally tripped through the bunch, and slid ahead. But I was behind Bonnie still, that was the point. I needed to outskate her.

Bonnie switched around with a smooth flick of her skates, and spoke to me while speeding around backwards, "I'm about to go all the way around again and score points, boyo!"

"Argh!" I powered on. Bonnie should not have showed off like that. I was going to lap her, and soon.

Then, we were neck and neck. We both approached the pack again. I had to get through, pass her and then pass through them again to make some points.

We both grunted and edged at each other, desperate to get an advantage. Bonnie's girls slid apart when they sensed her coming. The one with the uh, stripe on her helmet was responsible for that strategy. They were looking ahead and going too fast to turn around and see Bonnie, but I noticed she touched them a certain way, and suddenly it was a signal and they were all parting the river to let this girl straight through.

"Dammit, that's cheating!"

"No it ain't!"

The next thing I heard was, "WHIP HER, WHIP HER, WHIP HER!"

"What now?!" I freaked. I expected the whips and chains to come out. "Aren't you tiny women aggressive enough already?"

The moment Bonnie surpassed the pack, Megurgl reached her webbed hand back and grabbed Bonnie's arm. Then, Megurgl sort of… threw Bonnie. Well, that looked dangerous.

But Bonnie went flying on her skates with the momentum, getting halfway around the track before I could say, 'Woah.'

This was terrible. I was already losing. Then, that crazy kid got up close to me and cheered that she was about to burn me.

"Watch….THIS!"

Bonnie turned on these crazy rocket boosters, on the back of her skates!

I'm an instinct man, like I said. Sometimes, I don't think. Engineer? They have an advantage. Defeat that by taking their toys away. I grabbed hold. In fact, I tucked Bonnie under my arm. The two of us went flying through the pack of her confused girlfriends, and yelling as we burned around the track at a crazy speed.

"Turahoooooooooooo! Ya cheatiiiiin…. bastaaaaaaard!"

"Bonnieeeeeeee! Aaaaaaaaah!"

Well, the end of the game was much easier to explain. Bonnie and I busted through her frazzled friends like they were a bunch of bowling pins. The lot of us went flying in ten directions, I swear.

When the smoke cleared, Bonnie hobbled up to me, one skate on. The other foot had only the top of a burnt sock around the ankle.

"If… we say you won, Turaho, will you take your big accident-prone butt outta hea for a change?!"

I sat up halfway, said I wanted my marbles. Parts of my outfit felt and smelled like they were burnt to bits, too.

Bonnie really didn't want to give those marbles up so easily. But her friends were in a crying, smoking heap and the simulation was flickering back to reality around us. We'd be seeing the store room and the other machines, _and_ the other customers any moment.

Speaking of which, I thought I saw a blonde-headed kid—I mean a Human—and a big brown Tauren wearing chieftan and feathers heading into another Simulator machine.

"Haha! This time, I'll defeat your army of sapper Goblins."

"Anduin, you have to build up a whole fortress first. That's the Warcraft way!"

Me, "BAINE?!"

But then the magic faded. We were suddenly lying on the floor watching Chief Baine and apparently, King Anduin of Stormwind, disappear into one of the other machines.

Bonnie shoved me, to bring me around.

"That a usual thing around here?" I'm sure I sounded panicked by that point.

She sighed and handed me a felt bag. I tugged the drawstring and looked inside. Lots of tiny glass balls clicked gently.

Bonnie told me, "If ya go downstairs and see a bunch of beefy, armed Humans looking suspiciously not-Venture-Co., don't mess with 'em. You'll end up in Stormwind Keep… That's all I'm sayin."

The Venture Co. It takes all kinds. I hefted the pouch in my hand and caught it again. Good weight. They didn't seem like a bag full of my personal army of spies at all.

Bonnie followed me to the stairs. Her friends were taking their time, complaining about me and so hanging behind.

"Turaho, I heard you're goin ta Silvermoon. So you're gonna try to use those things against Kael'thas?"

"Mainly his wife. Funny, the timing was good. It was kinda her idea, in a way."

Bonnie shook her head at me. I stopped and backed away from the first step. I let her go down the stairs ahead of me, like a gentleman. Still hard to manage as a Tauren. I pretty much had to wait for her to clear the whole stairs before safely going down without possibly stepping on her with my large stride.

I eyed Bonnie triumphantly the whole way down, "Scrying orbs are low-tech. And when they're this small, they're every Pathfinder's dream come true. If I only had these ages ago, how many missions would have ended before they even started—"

"Turaho, be careful out there." She waited. She made me listen to my own loud hooves going clumsily down Goblin stairs. She made me feel how anxious I was, with no kindly conversation to fill in the awkward silence.

Yes, so she had a point. Even a good Pathfinder could feel like a fish out of water. On stairs, in Silvermoon…

Bonnie sniffed at me, "You'll be in their land. Not Mulgore. And Kael'thas is a very, very bad man. He's not a girl Goblin with the hots for ya, willin' to go play for hours in the Simulator."

"Uh, I—"

"It's good ya gonna become a Paladin tonight." Damn, word did get around Mulgore fast, if it was already so deep in the Venture Co. tunnels, "Because if you go over there, Turaho, doin' ya usual Pathfinder 'I'm gonna wear you down' thing, Kael'thas will turn and tear ya face off. That's the kinda animal he is, honey. Ya understand?"

"Why? What have you heard?" then, before she could really back out of it, "Is Kael'thas involved with Madam Goya? Do you think he employed someone to take Greatfather Winter, maybe a Demon Hunter through her, perhaps?"

Bonnie shook her head again. I could tell she felt I wasn't listening. But I was paying very close attention, reading between the lines. Right?

"Turaho, I almost didn't give ya those, you should know that. I thought things through, and them mahbles could turn out to be ya worst enemy. Tiny little pieces of glass that'll make you think you're bigger'n you actually are. I heard lotsa clever people who use those go crackers." She frowned, sighed, "And you're the smartest, cleverest Tauren I know."

"Handsomest, too." I brushed it aside. She should have known I was still waiting on her answers to my Madam Goya question.

Bonnie backed off, so that I could leave, "Look, just-"

I placed a hand on her head and mussed her chestnut hair.

She sighed at last, "Turaho. Don't lose ya mahbles."

Next stop—walking through Mulgore to become a paladin when I don't even want to, and then somehow not dying at the hands of a crazed Night Elf assassin that I've never even heard of before.

Good times.


	8. The Deathstalker

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Sorry to cut it off like that! But it's going to be sooo good, hang in there…

* * *

 **Chapter 8: The Deathstalker**

 **T** he walk across the Golden Plain to Bloodhoof Village for my initiation was the longest one I'd taken, yet. In the same way that I hadn't exactly quit being a Pathfinder when I was supposed to, I also hadn't embraced becoming a Paladin. Because I'd used the same amount of energy to make both decisions.

Exactly none.

Paladin was something I just… picked up. Yeah, don't ever tell any Lady Liadrin types I did that.

I honestly thought it'd be like leatherworking, if you can believe that. I mean, I wasn't being an idiot about it. My cousin was doing it and he kept bragging about it at dinnertime. (I have a hut in the mountains for fun, but I'd moved in with my Bloodhoof relatives, you know. I think I mentioned that.) Cousin Brunho, he's a gloryhog, but a good enough kid. I eventually got interested in the Paladin thing since he kept saying, 'No, it's a Sunwalker thing! It's way moo-cooler!' _Moo-cooler…_ ugh, these kids. And so I decided to come along when he eventually offered. I was, indeed, impressed. _Très moo-cool_.

Pathfinder. I speak all kinds of languages, don't worry about it.

I got that the Sunwalkers were a new, spectacular thing. And the energy around that first talking circle, the stories that were told, the help those initiates were able to give each other... Mu'sha's golden Light at the tip of one's hands… saving lives… Donning a shield, taking on dozens of enemies at once… And then the glorious power of retribution at the tip of a spear-blade… War-paint, glory, saving lands, hearts and minds! It was something we Tauren were made for.

Yeah, I got all that.

But it also meant no more gun. Never again have a pet. No more grumpy hut in the hills pretending I didn't need anyone else, least of all a whole order of other Paladins. No more being old. I'd have to be young-ish, start over, go on strange, new missions… Well, it wasn't really that. I loved a good adventure, especially a long one. And I loved mixing in all over the Horde, seeing what people needed help with, like that time I spent in Lordaeron helping the Forsaken.

The thing was, being a Paladin meant I had to leave the worst parts of me behind, take vows—actual vows—and then start being perfect. Being good. I couldn't handle that. I've never been that kind of man. You just saw me running around after a crew of pretty little women, while hanging out at the Fitz in the Venture Co. mines secreted beneath the mountains of Mulgore. Sneaking around behind the backs of Baine and Queen Saturna Sunstrider. Hell—I've been trash-talking Kael'thas sunstrider this whole time! And I'm still looking up who Cokie Whitefeathers is, because I'm not beneath getting my hands on her, either. In fact, after this horrible mission in Silvermoon, I'm starting to think I'll be ecstatic to break the law and pay for _her_ services at this point… Nutshell—I'm not all that nice.

So, even then, when I first started training as a Paladin, I knew. I was definitely going to fall on my face under so much pressure. I couldn't do it. I could learn up to making one [Embossed Leather Vest], let's say, but actually farming tons of light hide to cure? Are you kidding me! Let's just call it a day and sell the leather.

No leatherworkers in the house? I hope there are at least some. That was a good joke.

My second problem with it was this. I would have to leave Zoca far behind me. Her and all the other good… wolf spirits. Heh, you'd think I'd miss my mother, more.

Paladins don't enjoy being possessed by ghosts, you see. Paladins exorcise them.

Guess I'm finally being honest with myself about Zoca. For a long time, you know, I told myself it was the politics of working with other Paladins and putting certain things above the motherland, and wondering what Mu'sha's Light really meant to be used for, and I had all kinds of other excuses. But no. I was unusually comfortable with spirits. I couldn't imagine my life without that connection. The realm of the spirits isn't another world to me, it's in our world here and now. It is a forest that is always there, always handy to run off into and remember how beautiful or painful life is and be grateful for that gift, of knowing what else is beyond. Or, the dark gift of death, peace at last… No Paladin text that I have ever read said it was okay to think like that. Like animal spirits and the dead were my friends. I didn't want to run around slaying them all and exorcising them. I mean, there's the Scourge or course, but other than that, I wanted to empathize with them and co-exist with them. I'd already been doing it all my life.

So, this was what Baine and, ironically, Saturna the ghost-queen were pushing me into.

As I walked across the Golden Plain that day and I worried about the Paladin initiation ceremony just an hour or less ahead of me… the voices, they rose, again. They were like a breeze, then a wind rising above me, high over my horns. They pushed me forward. Or, they would, if I gave into them. I didn't know why they always found me. Maybe it was because of my mother the shaman or the work I had done in Lordaeron long ago. Maybe I amused them. Maybe I impressed them—no, I likely just amused the hell out of them. But I liked them and the dead, they liked me back. My eyes tried to focus, instead, on a lone ambercorn tree in the distance.

Trust me, I was about to need it. An lifeline, to keep me from going under.

And suddenly, even as I thought 'ambercorn', I was in a totally black and white world. White cloud swirled overhead, seeping into a black hole. That hole in the sky was the end of things. I didn't know, I just guessed. And all around me were other pale figures, as pale as Saturna was. Tauren, some goblins—the Venture Co., you know? Because they had died out here in Mulgore, too. All of us were eventually making our way toward that black Great End. Some spirits were eager to go, moving along as fast as they could. Others had their heads low. Some cried. Those were the freshly dead, unable to understand what a comfort it could be.

Wolves howled. Strangely in tune. A menacing chorus.

The wind came again. This wind had color. My eyes remained on the ambercorn tree, to center myself. It's like waiting out a storm, your mind holding on fast to something so that you don't get blown away.

Then it raged. Okay, so I knew that I needed to pass through this if I could. Usually, when something was really wrong in the world, it turned like this. Like when the Cataclysm happened… or… would a missing Greatfather Winter really cause this? And that was probably my fault that it wasn't resolved yet, which annoyed me to end. It was like the spirit world knew it too, and they were out to get me. Anyway, time to move. It could get so much worse.

I ran hard at that tree. I charged like I wanted to knock it down, I had to. Then—and I can never explain it—death itself sent me.

In the next moment, I was across that whole field (and it should have been an hour's walk). I was almost ontop of the tree, running at it, full on. How? Death sort of… folded the landscape, or else the fabric of life, I think, to send me across miles.

 _HURRY THE HELL UP, TURAHO! WE CAN'T WAIT ALL ETERNITY FOR YOU TO SAVE HIM, YA MUG!_

You see, in my mind, Death, ruler of the impatient spirit world, he has a voice and it sounds a lot like a Goblin mob boss. I hear some Trolls out there think death sounds like Bwonsamdi. No… totally a gangster Goblin.

So, the spirits were in on this Greatfather Winter thing, too? The old folktales say he is one of them…

Aw, crud.

When I was done listening and panicking, I was able to stop myself just in time, before slamming into that old ambercorn tree.

I huffed, I shook my head and mane, then looked around. I wiped tears and sweat down my over my face and muzzle. I paused and felt the warm gold ring just over my lip, pierced through my nostrils. Warmth was me. I was the one who was warm. So I was still alive. I turned and looked across the plain, at the spot I had come from. As always, my shadow was still there. If I blinked again, I might miss it. When I looked down, at last, it had caught up, pooling around my big hooves again.

The one way I always knew it had really happened. Several ambercorns lay undisturbed around me. As if I hadn't just kicked through them in my mad dash over here. You see… I passed through them.

I leaned against the tree and felt nothing. I had never told anyone about my little… death-jogs. Don't laugh—what would YOU even call it?

I was always too defiant a kid to ever confide in my mother about it. And by the time I was grown, I didn't want… help. I didn't want any of my mother's stuck up, shaman séance friends involved and telling old Chief Cairne of all people. And then I definitely didn't want it escalated to some weird Royal Apothecary prodding me with a stick, through the bars of some cage. I still was a big stubborn kid I guess.

Well, we'll call it… 'death stalking.' Death letting me pass through, unscathed, but only if I came out of the other side, running. Charging like a mad bull. A stupid, dangerous game we played everytime something went wrong in the world or I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or walked through a danged haunted ivar patch that I didn't even know was there.

How could I ever take my rites without telling anyone about this! And losing Zoca and all the rest! It was insane. Gods above, that made me breathless all over again.

It was why I didn't notice the shower of pine needles at first. The fresh whiff of spilt resin, a sign that branches above were being disturbed. Why it took so long for the Night Elf face peering down at me to come into focus. He was sitting in the tree, right above me. Green and light just sort of flowed over his true form, like a vapor. That's how shadowmelding works. That's all it was, day in day out, for the last seven miserable weeks of my life in Ashenvale.

My mouth made the words, before I could realize that it meant my doom, "You're Alessandre."

Alessandre smiled at me. That scared me worse, somehow, that overly friendly smile on a killer.

He chuckled, "Hooo man… how the hell did you just do _that_?"


	9. Big Al

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Years ago, a fan said that 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace was Al's theme song. Totally listened to this while writing. Welcome back, big Al! And this is just a warm-up, it's going to get even more dangerous as things develop. Wait, you don't know who Al is? You've gotta read The Romancer Opalbane, then. One of my favs, I re-read it every few months! And, Al first shows up in The Romancer Greatfather Winter, so you can even get a double helping if you want.

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Big Al**

 **T** riumvir Rogue Alessandre was crouched right over my head, waiting to kill me at a dizzying angle. Something in me also felt jealous that he was likely thousands of years old and still able to contort himself like that.

All I'd just done was run across a field, albeit through the shades of death itself somehow, and my hocks were hurting like a mother.

The dark-skinned Night Elf man balanced elbows on his knees, hunching in with interest, "I thought you were trying to rush me. I didn't even have time to get my rapier."

 _Rapier._ You would.

Blue-black hair hung down and framed his face. Alessandre's hair was neatly combed, I could tell, but it was also all over his shoulders, and going down his back like a mane. His purple ears were not like a Blood Elf's. Most Night Elves have longer ears, they inevitably bob or twitch whenever they speak. I always thought it made them look silly, whether they were dancing at me in a moonbeam or threatening me with a knife… Alessandre's agents had managed to do a mix of both back in Ashenvale. Don't ask. However, their master Alessandre was capable of being extremely still. Something he would have had to teach himself over a lifetime or more. Not to disturb the grass he was hiding in, by merely moving his head to spy or think over a strategy. Knowing better than to even disturb his own shadow before a kill. Yes, he was naturally intimidating. He wasn't even really trying. This big Night Elf was just perched there, staring at me and yet I felt compelled to watch him with a mix of fear and fascination. Like suddenly coming face-to-face with a bright-eyed cougar in the middle of the woods.

I needed to not be this dumbstruck. Having passed through… the underworld, whatever I'd done on the Golden Plain, that was also unnerving me. It never got any easier.

Alessandre went on, "But then, when you got over here, you were so breathless. I knew then it wasn't intentional. You weren't actually coming after me. Good gods, you almost got a neat hole through your head, over nothing."

"You… sitting in an ambercorn tree on my people's land…" I was still flustered and wheezing, "…Is not nothing!"

Alessandre stopped peering down at me, through his splayed legs. He moved across and sat in a lower branch. Out of reach of my horns, but close enough to talk. He held on and positioned himself so that we were facing. His right leg hung down a bit from where he was balanced, sitting. But other than that, the Night Elf man was perfectly poised.

Then, Alessandre did something really annoying while we both waited, sizing each other up. He took out a pipe, stuffed and lit it.

I stared at him smoking a pipe like a damn Human. Surely people would see him.

Alessandre clenched the pipe in his teeth, then held it in his hand. Let out a long drag that confirmed he didn't care. I got mad. I didn't care if I might be a slow draw compared with his evident agility. I reached for the gun slung across my back.

"Go on, shoot me," he showed teeth, "I'd love it."

What a headgame! Of course, then, I couldn't manage it. He'd intimidated the crap out of me with that. I clenched my hands into fists instead, so they wouldn't tremble.

"Or, call your Tauren friends." He puffed a few more times, "…If you like them dead."

We were close enough for me to just make out shapes of people across the lake near Bloodhoof Village. I could jog, get to the road and cross the bridge. But then, I'd also have to turn my back to this bastard and expose myself to getting stabbed.

I heated, "Death does not frighten me."

"No. It doesn't at that."

"Well, if you're going to kill me, triumvir rogue…"

"Don't get smart." He cut me right off.

"How's Saturna doing?"

Alessandre shook his head, once. "Just when I thought we might be able to get along. I can hear your heart beating from over here, you know. I can smell the heat rising in you—"

"Don't get fresh."

Alessandre really didn't like that for some reason. I'd only meant it as a joke. I mean, what about me should make him assume I was actually flirting with him? Weird Elves and their vanity and sensitivities…

He insisted, "You _know_ what I meant."

"Calm down. And, get to the point. I have an initiation to get to."

"Hrmph. Tauren Paladins… it's cute, actually."

That tone brought Megurgle, Bonnie's murloc friend to mind, and my take on her. Okay, time to punch this guy.

"Bloodknights, though. They make me want to throw up." He scowled.

"Me too." I said, before thinking through that statement, how it might change the way he manipulated our conversation.

Alessandre went on, even more confident, "Bloodknights, especially the women, use seduction like poison. Lead poison. The queen of the Blood Elves is killing you, softly."

"I'm used to dealing with shady types, I don't need your help." I sounded like a defensive little kid, though. Alessandre knew that he had me.

"Hey Turaho, it's just fair warning. She's doing it because she can, because it's a tool in her belt. Saturna as much said that to you. But you keep slipping up, you keep forgetting that it isn't real. That's how it seems to me."

Alessandre had been at my hut, then… My own hut. That obvious heartbeat of mine pounded louder in my ears.

"And don't be fooled by Kael'thas, either. He's not jealous, not really. Kael was just surprised. He had to have some reaction to seeing Baine with his hand on his wife's leg. And that couldn't have been, 'Oh, hey there, Chief Baine. I'll come back once Saturna's done messing you about.' Do you see? The Blood Elves will do anything. Do you really think a warlock, who manipulates demons, who is so comfortable with succubae that he shares his bed with them, still, is actually so put off by his wife seducing a Tauren?"

"What?" I should have done better. Alessandre was feeding me so much, so fast. That he had also been in the room with Baine and Saturna, overheard the conversation between them and Kael'thas… how could he be in so many places? Or, had he listened at doors, inferred so much?

 _A man with many heads…_

"She said her son was dying, at Tempest Keep." It felt like Alessandre had given me the next morsel, waited for me to take that, too.

"Right…"

"But the queen of the Blood Elves failed to mention that the boy was sick, because she was killing him."

"Her own son. That makes no sense." Unless Saturna was secretly as evil as Azshara, Elisande and possibly Sylvanas…

"Ask Saturna, then. You'll know if she's lying to you." He waited again. I wasn't going to confirm that I was going to go running off, playing right into one of his mind games. Alessandre went on quickly when he saw my poker face, he must of realized I wasn't falling for it, "Back then, Saturna was a spirit, in a rage, trapped in her own son's mind. She hated Kael'thas and she was desperate to have it all ended—"

"Feh. As if you were in… the Black Temple with them, wherever they went."

"No, it was at Tempest Keep. Inside the royal apartments. She even had the boy stealing his father's underwear. Scared the shit out of Kael'thas."

I didn't know what to think. The idea of Alessandre being somewhere near an underwear-stealing Kael'thas fan-ghost-girl… thing back in Tempest Keep was actually freaking me out. He couldn't have been there, too? Right?! This man wanted me to believe he was some rogue demigod.

Alessandre took the pipe from his mouth, played with it in his hand, "You've been busy trying to figure out whether or not she's into you, right, Turaho?"

Anger raced through me, hearing him get chatty like he was some buddy of mine. Or, one of his loyal rogues.

He flashed a smile, "Well, that's the game. Instead, you should be focused on figuring out whether she's a liar. What around you is true? What around you is false? What tools do you have in _your_ tool belt to actually get this job done?"

"And you're busy lying to me. Why would you, a Night Elf, help me?"

"The smuggling fiasco in Ashenvale… well, you had my agents turn it into a fiasco. Turaho, you outwitted us and outmanned us in those woods, eventhough you are only one man. My agents were trying to get those smugglers but you did it instead, and you made damned fools of us. Such fools out of us, in fact, that I came down here to smack some sense into them, myself. And then, Greatfather Winter disappeared. I was already in the neighborhood, it sounded like a fun challenge… figured I'd come over to Mulgore and see to that too, by myself. You ran my agents ragged anyway, they needed a break."

I crossed my arms. Imagine, my people's crisis as a fun game for this guy.

He smirked, "Tauren and Night Elves have worked together before."

I stared at him. Alessandre raised an eyebrow at me.

"But you're not a druid." I spat that out. Anything to keep from feeling so slow in front of him! Geez, when was I going to catch up, or get any edge on him at all?

Alessandre looked down, on either side of himself. He was looking for a good place to tap out his pipe on the tree. My Tauren-only ambercorn tree. Ugh…

He did so, then finished stuffing it back in his vest. He wore a complex black leather… vest thing over an expensive-looking black shirt. Exotic taste, for a Night Elf. The shirt I mean. The vest was typical rogue get up. Well, better than typical. It had rough-stitched, criss-crossed straps and buckles that I refused to be impressed by.

"Well… I suppose I _can't_ be a druid." Alessandre wanted to smile, I could tell. Night Elf joke, fine. I don't get those. Can we move on, please?

The truth was, he'd been running me around in circles all this time and I was completely helpless. My mind seemed to race through the same options as before. I couldn't exactly go, not without knowing that I'd make it to my destination alive and that my people weren't threatened. Nothing had changed.

I tried hard to see any other way out of this exchange with the triumvir rogue. Surely, he wasn't all-powerful, he'd only altered my perception of things somehow. At last, I figured my best hope was that someone passing by on the thin line of road might see us and call for help. I'd try hard to watch out for that then. I prayed to Mu'sha for it.

Yes, Alessandre might kill off any threat, especially if it was an innocent passerby who wanted to help, but was no match for him. However, Alessandre might also be smart enough to disappear again instead rather than raise an alarm. You know, run? Running had to be easier than exposing himself to all of Mulgore. That was my edge. Obvious, but he'd prevented my seeing it. I moved my hooves, toward the road. Alessandre's eyes followed me.

Alessandre sighed easily, "Fine. Do what you like. Leave."

"I might do that—"

"And take your Paladin rites. Go all the way to Silvermoon with her. Have some laughs with Saturna's knuckleheads, the ones they call the Knights of the Blood Nexus."

I paused. That was a new name. Who were…?

"I'm tossing you that one for free, Turaho, as a show of good faith." Alessandre waited. I didn't thank him. I also didn't go, either. "But I wouldn't try and play footsie with Saturna Whiteblade, though, because she's notoriously obsessed with her husband. She did try to singlehandedly kill Illidan on Kael'thas' behalf, which was insanity itself. Then again, with that kind of fervor raging inside of her, she also nearly succeeded—"

"She… Hold on a second—"

He'd nailed me to the spot.

"That white scar, across Illidan's chest? You've seen it. Or, you should have heard about it by now, even if you're a country bumpkin. He came back from Outland with that nasty scar. Nobody's ever explained it, though. But I'm telling you now, Saturna did that. I also hear tell—and I would have good sources," I assumed he meant Illidan's brother, Malfurion. So, very likely Alessandre had, practically, heard it from the horse's mouth, "…Illidan is actually afraid of her. Illidan never speaks Saturna's name and he never goes anywhere that she _might_ be. Of course, Illidan would never admit to it."

"Seems I can't ask him to be sure." I shrugged. Then, I let out a breath, "Look. I can't trust you. I don't want to trust you. You're sitting in a tree, in my backyard, like you own the place. In fact, I think I hate you."

"And I hate Kael'thas."

As they say, the enemy of my enemy… Well, he wasn't going to spell out his strategy for me. Between a Pathfinder and a rogue, it should have been fairly obvious.

I desperately wanted to go. I did not like the way this was turning at all. Alessandre chose to raise his voice, then, right over my doubtful thoughts, "That man should be dead. The Army of Light, a band of wayward adventurers, or a sharp edge on one of his pathetic arcane crystals… anything should have killed Kael'thas by now. Kael'thas is a subjugator, a dictator. He is selfish and cruel. He's a junkie and a rat. The Horde shouldn't even have anything to do with him. But yet…" Alessandre made an easy gesture of his hand. I just then noticed he was holding a dagger. Some rare dark metal I'd never seen before. It did not shine in the light as it should have. Very hard to detect. It looked forged from the night itself. Certainly a professional assassin's tool. I hadn't even seen him take the knife out and arm himself. He must have done it after he'd put his pipe away, sleight of hand. Well, then. If I had run for the road, I might have had that knife in my back, after all. Which showed I was right to handle this carefully, play into his game a bit. And it also proved that Alessandre was a friggin bastard.

Alessandre was watching me study his movements, "People think that because Kael'thas is a Bloodmage, it would take a lot to end his life. Not so." Then, Alessandre flicked his wrist, made a flare of his fingers. The dagger was gone.

Alessandre slipped down from the tree. His boots crunched into pine needles and dry grass. I blinked. It was the loudest he'd managed to be this entire time. Then, he walked right up to me. I was taller than him, being a Tauren. However, he was not intimidated. He spread his legs out a step, put hands on his hips. That serious leather tightened.

Alessandre sneered, "I want one thing from you." A breeze picked up, the green branches rose, fell. "Get me close enough. That's all you need to do. And the Horde will no longer have to worry about Kael'thas Sunstrider."

He had some real balls to think he could do it all on his own. Could he?

To cover my anxiety over his confidence, "…I thought this was about Greatfather Winter."

"I already know who has Greatfather Winter—"

"Liar. You have no proof, so then you can't be sure. That's why you're here in Mulgore."

"…Killing the man who has Greatfather Winter is going to be my little holiday bonus." Alessandre leaned on his back foot, stretched a black leather glove tight, then placed his hand on the hilt of his mithril rapier. "You want a cut?"

Then he said something that really disgusted me.

"I can pay you a…heh, king's ransom for your services, trust me. The money is coming from Malfurion himself. Kael'thas doesn't know that he's had a very big hit placed on his royal head for a long time. And, with the kidnapping, Darnassus is finally positioned, politically, to get that done. In this… runaway, re-united Azeroth." Alessandre took a pause, to enjoy smiling devilishly, "Who says Malfurion doesn't still love his brother? He wants the Blood Elf who tormented Illidan dead, more than anyone." Then, Alessandre looked down, at his boot. He half-smiled. "You're shocked."

"Druids do not work that way. Not even an archdruid would dare. And Malfurion is the Shan'do."

Alessandre backed off into the shades of the trees, "You'd be surprised… what a druid can do."

I got the hell out of there the moment he was gone. I made it to the road. I jogged, I swear I didn't out and out run. Couldn't let the triumvir rogue see me sprinting away from him.

Then, birdsong came back. The trees looked happy, touched by yellow afternoon sun. No Night Elf shadows in them at all. Gravel from the road crackled playfully beneath my hooves. Blue Stone Bull Lake and the bridge across it, the bridge home, drew nearer and nearer.

So, I'd lived. Thank the Light. Thank Mu'sha.

I could feel my heart steady. I could hear myself breathing easily again. What was wrong with that man? Did he revel in being terrible? He was the worst Night Elf I'd ever met, almost and literally the worst-

 _One head in Darnassus. One head in Silvermoon. Another in Mulgore._

…Shit.

I stopped while in the middle of the bridge. The deep lake was beneath me, but what the hell was behind me? I gripped the rope handhold and froze. I had to do it. I had to look back. I already knew what was ahead of me. A happy Tauren village. A bonfire getting started, tribal drums being set up, delighted yellow and red streamers hanging from the longhouses and huts, flickering prettily in the wind. People laughing and going innocently about making their party, just for me. But I couldn't forget that message, what that monk had said in Thunderbluff, so possessed.

 _The fifth head… is in your mind._

I licked the back of my teeth, and then they chattered. Actually chattered. I hated it. I hated him for doing this to me. I'd known plenty of Night Elves. They weren't supposed to be this… unsettling. I finally made myself turn around, slowly.

Nothing. Or, there should have been nothing.

A voice hissed over my shoulder, from the other side. It had teeth.

"… I'll be in touch."

I whipped back around to face Bloodhoof, fumbling with the shotgun slung across my back. But there was no point in even trying.

Somehow, Alessandre had got ahead of me. I got this horrible feeling that, from now on, he would always be there.

When I met that animal, I'd walked into a nightmare.


	10. Bad Tauren Pickup Lines

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : I just realized Turaho sounds like Grumpy Cat sometimes! Also, how is he worse than Shadowstep complaining about orphan whelps every few sentences? I really love Turaho. He's his own special sort of grump.

Also, there will be even more partying in Part II: Actually Good Tauren Pickup Lines!

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Bad Tauren Pickup Lines**

Let's forget about the part when Alessandre, officially the worst Night Elf of all time, scared me witless. (I'm man enough to admit it.) So hey, listen to this:

"You _mooove_ me, baby."

"They're mine, they're real, and they are as hard as diamonds."

Let me think. I know at least one other one…

"Free rides… for the ladies."

Yep. Those are the official Tauren ones. Hey, don't look at me, I didn't make them up!

Anyway, it's good to practice flirting before a big Bloodhoof Village party. We love to drink, to dance and, being really honest—it's exciting because single Tauren everywhere flock to these things. Why? We only have so many spaces to be as Tauren as we like, you know? A lot of traditions are fading away, being blended into the Horde in general. People crave a chance to be themselves, and not have it be weird. All people do, right? So for us Tauren, a party, any party in Bloodhoof Village, is like being sent to heaven and getting to eat all the cake you like.

"Hey, you into leather?"

Yeah, baby.

Oh, wait—I was going to get snatched out of Mulgore immediately after by Saturna, so why was I getting excited about flirting and meeting someone?

Ugh.

I think I hate the Sunstriders.

When I got there, Queen Saturna had clearly asked her Bloodknights to hang back and be more low-key. I say that because I noticed that they weren't drinking and they weren't even going near the food. It occurred to me that Saturna might have yelled at them about the Firewater, finally. Good. I hoped they'd try and have clearer heads with a damn Night Elf assassin was milling about. And those bastards knew about Alessandre before I even did.

It was also funny in a way, because she sounded so permissive about their drinking at first. So, there must have been another incident while I was away at the Venture Co. mine. Haha! And probably right at _The Cat and the Shaman_ too, involving our drunk monk friend. Again. But by then, drunky monky would have been possessed by some crazy Twilight Cultist curse. I could only imagine those kinds of fireworks.

Eh. Bugger them. It was my enforced Paladin initiation, so I'd be a fool if I wanted to! I ignored all my responsibilities and I drank loads. If I was going to lie about wanting to be a Sunwalker, then drink could only help.

I did also briefly consider telling Saturna about Alessandre… but let's be honest, I wanted to drown out that burden, too.

All the pretty Tauren ladies three villages over had come to Bloodhoof that afternoon. So many cute spots! So many cinched up leather harnesses, woven skirts and eagle feathers! There were even some Thundertotem babes in the bunch… I could have killed myself for missing out on so much. I couldn't stay in Mulgore, I couldn't actually enjoy any of this.

Well bugger that, too!

I danced all over the place, the moment someone started up a tom-tom. I think I ended up in the middle of the dancing circle trying to learn a new line-dance the girls had made up. They're so cute you know, on those little neat hooves, going so swiftly, whisking their tails… I was acting a fool and I knew it. Maybe I was even trying to sabotage the event on purpose. People, Tauren and Blood Elf people, were starting to stare.

Cousin Brunho surprised me. I hadn't even known he was back home. But he was suddenly at my side and pulling me out of the crowd. I swore and shoved back. Brunho remained nice about it, "The party actually hasn't started yet, haha!"

Like I said. Good kid.

Brunho was already fully initiated. He was in his Sunwalker sunstones and bright blue beads. Then I looked past him and saw a line of likewise decorated kodos, and their Sunwalker Paladin owners standing in a stately line at the edge of festivities. All of them eyed me curiously.

I slurred, still tasting Firewater on my tongue. I chose to be a jerk and accuse Cousin Brunho of wanting to induct me right then and there. Well, I made no sense. Actually, I think deep down I was acting up on purpose. And Brunho was too good to be fazed by it.

He chuckled again, "Just… sober up a little, cuz. It's no help if you take your vows, drunk. The Bloodknight Matriarch is here and so is Aponi Brightmane—"

"Aponi! She's smoking hot! Heeeeey, smokin' Aponi!"

Brunho turned me around and shoved me through the crowd, back his parents' house.

The family longhouse resembled _The Cat and the Shaman_ and a lot of long houses you might have seen in Thunderbluff and elsewhere. Log walls, our family totem carved above the front door… but inside, it was very lived-in. There were little trod-upon broken toys on the floor, and piles of pillows and bedding in one corner. In the evenings, after Uncle Roushin was done smoking his pipe outside and Auntie Freya had told her very last story, everyone undid their bedrolls, spread them out and then tried not to line up with their hooves near anyone else's head. That's how you sleep in a big, one-room house like that.

Also, the wild twins liked to wake up in the middle of the night and kick me. But after the first month of that, I learned to just drink before bed so that I could sleep through it. I guess that's also about when drinking before bed became bad habit for me. You'd think that kicking their older cousin at night, driving him to drink, would be a bad habit for Tarmin and Tina, too.

Also living in the house we had Moggie (mostly the family called her that). Moggie was the village kodo trainer, and then Crimsin. Those two were Auntie Freya's exceedingly responsible daughters, my grown nieces. Crimsin was the mother of those twins from her first marriage. Crimsin spent her waking hours being frantic about Tarmin and Tina while her wife Edie Halemount was away in Thundertotem raising eagles. Edie wasn't one of our clan by blood you know, so we tried hard to clean the place up and impress her whenever she did come back home.

Oh and by the way, you should have seen their wedding! The Runestalker-Halemounts, two ferociously independent, artistic Tauren women who met while on assignment in Highmountain, dressed head to toe in juxtaposed tribals and even feather headdresses. It's funny, Crimsin is more into ravens. No one could tell them not to go over the top. Auntie Freya went crazy trying to keep things at a reasonable level, but that little family of females is a wild herd all its own. So the ceremony was crazy beautiful, but then again, there was bird-themed, well, everything. They even managed eagle bridesmaids, because of Edie's two favorite trained war-eagles. The wedding reception had a duo eagle-raven fan dance performance that I, uh… well, I won't describe it. Come on, they're family. Even I have limits. You'll just have to imagine it. And then imagine why I try to stop myself from re-imagining it every once in a while.

My mother would have haaaated the whole thing. She is—or was—all about keeping up traditions and standards. I'm pretty happy for Edie and Crimsin though, they do make a cute couple. And ho man, were all the elders a mix of shocked or amazed.

I think right now, the Runestalker-Halemounts (this time, driven by their super-twins) are working together to design a family totem and I'm sure that's going to be covered in checkerboard feathers, too. No wait—black and white is chessboard. Right? And you know glitter is bound to be involved…

Wait, I'm rambling.

My point is, there were maybe fourteen of us living in that longhouse. I think I skipped naming a couple heads or three that visit on and off. Cousins of cousins who wanted someplace cheaper to stay while they looked for work near Thunderbluff. But big longhouses like ours were made for that, and there were plenty of three-fingered hands to help with cooking, cleaning and other housework, so we did fine. Though, right now, it didn't look like it. Probably, everyone was too excited about the party (and me finally leaving, let's face it).

Living in a giant longhouse also made getting laid a chore, by the way. I hadn't been joking earlier about finding a locked closet for me and Saturna.

Oh— I had noticed Saturna was wearing some red and gold, winged armor with a form-fitting skirt I hadn't had a chance to look at yet…

And then I finally looked down and saw Brunho was offering me a cold cup of water. We were standing in the middle of the empty house while my hazy mind wandered.

I rolled my eyes, drank it down.

"Better?"

I grumbled, "It'll never get better."

"I'm sorry that it's your party, but you can't… sort yourself out here." Brunho grinned innocently, then went for the throat, "Guess you'll just have to get laid in Silvermoon!"

Brunho not only thought that was funny, he also presumed it was actually possible for me. Bastard.

"I'll be working in Silvermoon."

"No you won't. You love the ladies. No Sunwalker rites will change that about you, cuz."

I couldn't keep up the depressing, pointless conversation at that point. I found an old hide-covered chair and sank down in it. Sighed real heavy.

When Brunho finished building me up about how the woman Elves would be all over me because Demon Hunters were _so in_ for Elves these days, and that was totally a backdoor for us Tauren men with our horns and hooves, and also that I wasn't so old… He finally acted his age and apparent new station in life. He got down to real-talk.

"Alright. Tell me. What's really stopping you?"

I glared. Then, I gave up. I looked down at my hooves.

"…I thought about Zoca today."

Brunho loudly dragged the other dust-covered chair close by, almost ruining that moment.

"I even let myself… think her name. Just now… Just now is the first time I've said it."

"Yeah, in four years."

I folded my hands together. Then, I made fists.

Brunho had a dark face with black and white spots. He was able to give this innocent look when he wanted. Left over from successfully begging sugar treats off his ma as a kid, even when he was being mischievous. And I'm sure it helped him take his Sunwalker rites, when he could be just as naughty as me at times, but still needed to win the good guys over. Brunho had recently come back from the Western Plaguelands, Light's Hope Chapel and the Silver Hand, so that puppy-look would have worked there, too, with those hardcore, no-nonsense valiant types. And one day, maybe annoyingly soon, like before the year was out… If nature took its course, it'd all get started this very night at my party, too… Some beautiful Tauren girl would melt when she saw that same face, and Brunho would carry her off, ride into the sunset. And nine months later, their cute kids would inherit that same look. All while I was rotting away somewhere in a dungeon beneath the Sunspire in Silvermoon City, no doubt after this mission failed miserably. Still moping.

Some people just have these neat lives. Tidy, everything falls into place. Grow up, get a great position in life, get married, right on time. Lots of nice friends. Maybe not wealth, but a lovely, sweet life. Sun-kissed.

I was more moon-struck. A lone wolf wandering around, even hating other wolves. Nothing went right for me. Not to complain.

Ha! Not to complain… when am I _not_ complaining?

Brunho interrupted my doldrums again, "Zoca died like any Horde soldier would have died. The only thing is, she was a dog."

"Who told you that? And she wasn't a dog. She was at least a third Ashenvale ghost wolf!"

"Would you believe Lord Maxwell Tyrosus said it? I told him about you. At Light's Hope Chapel, I just gave in… I had to confide in him, Turaho." Brunho shook his big head and horns, sorrowfully, "Been worried about you, man."

"What?! Why would you go telling my business—"

I cut myself off. Well… I guess you never do suffer alone. Other people really do care about you whether you like it or not. Whether you're getting basic empathy from a stranger in the street to whom your wretched mood is so obvious, or whether your own family is wondering what's suddenly happened to you. I'd been feeling so sorry for myself these last few years, I didn't realize that I was also plaguing my cousin's perfect life.

…Good.

"And Tyrosus said Zoca died like a member of the Horde?" I lowered my voice as if Lord Maxwell was somewhere in Bloodhoof and I might offend, "…He's a Human, right?"

"Of course he's a Human! He's Lord Maxwell Tyrosus!"

"Full Human? Damn… those Silver Hand guys are really compassionate."

We didn't bring it up again. The Alliance, a Human man, was the one who shot my beautiful dog.

Brunho persisted, "…So Lord Maxwell says that's the way you should remember Zoca. She went and scouted bravely. She returned to you the first moment she had a chance, when you called for her. She was a working dog, a soldier. You did tell me that working dogs are different then pets one time, right? That their whole mentality is different, that they need to do an important job, that they can't stay idle?"

"Yes, yes." I waved my hand, for him to get on with it.

"So Zoca, eventhough she got lost in the Barrens, she put herself to work. Right to work. Sniffing out where all their weapons and supplies were, just the way you trained her to. I'd say, in that way, Zoca managed to be a spy for a while, when they um… when the Alliance took her in."

"The Alliance shot Zoca, in the end, because she was a Horde dog. Yes, she would have done what she was trained to do, what I'd been doing with her for years. But I was also the same one who blew her cover. I whistled. I whistled for her." Then I stopped. The memory hit me all over again. Me seeing my silver wolf-dog in the field by the Alliance fort. No collar or leash on her, broad daylight. Me finally having that opening to call her. Then deciding, so selfishly, to just go for it and have her back by my side no matter what, "…I should have left her there, Brunho. She even had a… a little boyfriend. Some Alliance mastiff. I did see them playing around in the dirt. I did see how well she'd acclimated. But, in the end, I was the one who got selfish because I wanted her back. I ruined her life. You can't talk me out of that. She was just a dog. One of Mu'sha's precious, innocent creations. I used her for war."

"Hunters train pets all the time to fight. Hunters fight alongside their pets, together they become stronger. Aren't you the one who made sure I understood that, way back when? Hunters love their pets, they're bonded."

"Well, it finally occurred to me that it's wrong to do. Animals like that… Well, all animals should be free and in the wild. Why do we even keep dogs, or cats for that matter? Especially cats!"

"I let Patches sit in my lap and I pet her. She likes me petting her."

"NO! I mean—we feed them and we keep them, but that isn't natural. Dogs on leashes, fish in glass bowls, birds in cages! But why? Where would the animals really be if we actually loved them!"

"Turaho, this is extreme, you're not making any sense! People love animals! They make them part of their families. And then all the cats and dogs and fishes and things, they'd all be terribly upset if you just… dumped them off on the side of the road, wouldn't they? You're not supposed to do that to your pet!"

"Argh! You're the one who doesn't get it!"

Look. I knew that I'd made a radical statement. A really far-out one. I had never said it out loud before because I knew better, or at least a lifetime of service as a hunter should have taught me better. I sensed it was crazy, that I might be going crazy. I mean, I could see that I was grieving. I knew that grief was messing me up. But nothing that I used to know and accept seemed right anymore. Nothing was so comfortable anymore. There was this… fog. It surrounded everything I used to be. Getting blacker and blacker, all the time. I couldn't see through it. I kept working, I just shed what I couldn't handle and got on with things. No more Zoca? Fine, no more pets. Never again. Just… be a marksman, work without it.

But when it came to it, I knew that I was sort of… stepping back from being a hunter, a Pathfinder. One day, I was bound to just… ragequit. Ugh, more of Baine's slang, coming to me now. Or, had my young cousin Brunho taught me that one?

I got back on track, "Maybe I don't know what I'm saying. I'm upset. But it doesn't change the fact that I pushed Zoca far too hard. I was the one who made her die."

Brunho started up again and he sounded very frustrated with me. However, when I looked over, ready to shout at him some more, there were tears in his eyes, "…Don't you see? She wasn't a dumb dog who just forgot and joined the Alliance. Then you somehow swooped in and you-You're putting it all on you, Turaho. You're not focusing. There's a right and a wrong in this situation. A sure and clear way that the Light points us—"

"Well, it wasn't Zoca's fault!"

"I'm agreeing with you, actually, if you would just listen! Please, hear me this time—Lord Maxwell and I are both telling you—Zoca, she did _really well_. She did the best she could. She didn't have to come to you when you called, but it was her choice. She always made the best life she could, whether she was lost on their side of the war, or helping you on ours, she always did. Zoca's path was that of life and hope, that was what she lived for. Not death. Not cruelty, hurt and anger. Not what you've been doing to yourself, Turaho." He looked me right in the eyes, "No. You need to stop this. Apply Light to the dark."

"All you Paladins sound the same."

"Mu'sha did not put us on this earth for that! This is not An'she's Light working in you. You know that. So open a door, a window, something. You have the power—let the Light it in!"

Old line. It had been shouted at me several times. By Auntie Freya, by my uncle Roushin, all my dad's people. And my mother's relatives, too, whenever they came to visit. Everyone had tried to help me. This time, however…

"Did Lord Maxwell really say all that? A Human?" I knew the Silver Hand was a brotherhood, but still.

"Yes. Lord Maxwell also told me that the Alliance didn't even kill your dog."

Brunho waited for me to have my reaction to that. He watched me grip the armrests of the chair.

He leaned in, "Is that door to the Light open yet?"

"Maybe I… well, there's a doorstop in it. Possibly."

Once I calmed down, Brunho pressed it further, "It was one twisted soul. A single man who was capable of petting and playing with his new three-parts-Ashenvale wolf one day—"

"She was one-third Ashenvale Ghostpaw Alpha."

"…And then shooting her in the back of the head on the next, just because she happened to be running home toward a Tauren."

It didn't change anything, that detail. But then again, I could let it. I saw how I could let it… ease things. No, this wasn't about more facts, more ways of looking at the same damned situation. It was about choosing to… not spiral out of control. Not fall deeper into it. But instead, deciding to get out of it. Climb. Up. Toward the Light.

"Lord Maxwell and I prayed for you, too. We lit a candle at Light's Hope Chapel, just for you, Turaho."

"He doesn't even know me."

"But the Light does. And she wants you back."

I didn't know what to do with that statement. I mean, I felt what it was about, what it signified. My cousin was trying to say that he loved me. My cousin was trying to convince me that a strange Human out there, no an actual… Lord Maxwell, he loved me, too. He wanted to save me. And I was sure that if I walked up to this Lord Maxwell and queried his love for me, he'd correct me and say that the Light loved me, and he loved the Light. I mean, it's not a bad thing, it's just… so much bigger than that. That life, and the Light and love, it was all the same and it wanted me back. I knew that, through the Light, was the right way to see things.

Righteousness. It's not an easy concept to approach, but it is what Paladins are made of.

I wasn't going to go telling my cousin I felt that. Perhaps feeling the onset of a faith conversion is too much to put into words to anyone else, anyway. I did feel a bit terrified that I was starting to finally get it.

"Yes, Brunho. What that one Human, who happened to be in the Alliance did… He was a monster. I loved my dog. I would have done anything for Zoca. And I did."

"But that evil man, he shot the dog he was supposed to love." Brunho leaned in, "He did not have the Light within him. Sometimes, that's like a disease. He passed his hatred on to you. He darkened your world. Are you going to let the darkness win, and continue to perpetuate?"

I was wide-eyed, I'm sure. I'm actually not sure how I answered that.

Brunho nodded and continued, "Rexxar was once faced with the same decision, you know. Hate all things, or go on loving and fighting for life."

"Yeah, Uncle Roushin and I talked about that a few times already."

"Good. But now, you know why Rexxar made his decision. And why Lord Maxwell sent me all the way back to Mulgore with this message."

Brunho looked down, rubbed his big black and white hands together, then squeezed mine. "Turaho… please let us help you. Please. Take the oath today and mean it. Imagine, Lord Maswell is just one great Paladin. Your journey isn't over." He took my hand, "It's just beginning."

"Then how come—" I had to stop. I sounded like I was whining. I guess that's how hurt I felt, "Ma visits me this time of year, she's due any day now, and I also see all these other spirits all the time. Why doesn't my Zoca visit with me? If she's at peace, and she's good and the Light is with her and with me too, then where is she? Why isn't she in the spirit world? If she was there, then she would visit me, wouldn't she? It would have happened by now, it's been four years! Spirits visit me all the time!"

"I dunno, Turaho. Did you search the whole spirit world?"

I snatched my hand away, I wanted to hit him.

Brunho flashed that innocent puppy look again, "Turaho, Zoca is gone. What she does with her life, that is her own decision. In a way, you know, you're obsessed with the material. Your being comfortable, feeling comforted, your dog… but her afterlife doesn't belong to you. You just have to get on with your own life and pray that she's… that she's at peace."

"Think we could find out?"

"Don't be obsessed with it. Trying to hold a séance and loop Auntie Akeisha into this from the grave is definitely not letting it go properly."

"Only because most people can't hold successful séances, that doesn't mean I shouldn't—"

Brunho spoke over me, "Your dog is dead, Turaho." Then that annoying bastard told me, "Do you know how many lives and how many other people's dogs you could save, if you just got your act together, today, right now?"

I covered my face. It was always this obvious.

"I could, couldn't I?" Well, it wasn't just about the dogs, okay. My good works would multiply, I would add to the fertility of this world, its goodness and its greatness. Just as Lord Maxwell had sent my cousin with his message and lit his prayer candle for me. As a Paladin, I could bring more and more people to the loving bosom of Mu'sha who so wanted to forgive and grant mercy. Renew them with her Light and take the pain away. I was witness to that my whole life, wasn't I? And now this. She was only waiting for me.

Brunho nodded.

"Saturna… kind of sucks, though. I'll be working for her, next!"

Brunho smiled at me, "Bloodknights, yes, are a whole other thing. But, in some ways, I think you'll find that they're…" He arched a fuzzy eyebrow, " _très moo-cool_."

"Wait. That's my thing—I made it better, you didn't start off saying it that way."

Brunho stuck his tongue out at me. And he was really too big for that. Grown Tauren men's tongues are floppy, discolored… I reached over and gave his head a playful shove, so he wasn't facing me anymore.

"You'll see, Turaho. I met a Bloodknight while I was over there, you know. I can give you his name if you want."

"What's his name." I wasn't that interested.

"Sunthraze the Sly."

"What. So is this a stripper or a pimp or-"

"Shut up. He's famous, but in a good way. I only met him briefly. Sunthraze cracked us all up, I'd never seen anything like it! And he's good at what he does. He saved our hides more than a few times while we were up in the Ghostlands."

"Ghostlands! Wait, you were close to Silvermoon, then. Did you see the city?"

"Fel, yeah. Sunthraze took us bar-hopping. Silvermoon is a hot place, I don't care if the Scourge tried to mow it down. Damn, I'm pretty jealous that you're about to be assigned there, and it's your first assignment, too. You don't know how lucky that is."

I still wasn't convinced.

"Sunthraze the Sly kept our spirits up. Maybe you can look for him when you get there. In fact, I think he's even a Sunstrider, by marriage… I can't remember. But how cool is that! You'd be rubbing elbows with the Sunstriders."

"I'm already rubbing elbows with the Sunstriders, and it hurts. Saturna keeps jabbing me in the ribs, and everyone keeps saying that Kael'thas is part Banshee Queen or something."

Brunho enjoyed laughing at that for a while, then he got serious. "Don't mess with Kael'thas, though. Seriously, cuz. Don't do it."

"Why not?"

"Because he can melt your face off—how do I know? Everybody says that over there and they mean it."

"And this Sunthraze guy… did he mean it? Is he afraid of his own leader and, well, relative by marriage?"

"I didn't get a chance to ask Sunthraze that. Wait, are you investigating me right now? I hate it when you do that, cousin Turaho."

I shrugged. An old habit, Brunho should have realized I'd try for it.

"Well, cuz, that was an amazing tour of duty. Another thing, don't drink too much champagne while you're over there. That stuff is deceptive, it can mess you up worse than Firewater."

"Sunthraze the Sly, eh? Okay, I'll remember that name. It's a pretty stupid one, actually, so I doubt I'll ever forget it."

"Turaho. Today you learned that not every Alliance Human is a bloodthirsty killer. Well, not every Bloodknight is like Saturna Sunstrider. And not even every Sunstrider is like Kael'thas. By the way, you don't even know Saturna well, yet, so—"

"I know that she's in love with that fink Kael'thas."

"Don't try to pick up Queen Saturna, Turaho. I know that look on you. Promise me. Please."

I didn't make any promises.

"Well… I want you to promise Mu'sha, today, that you will fight to protect and avenge sweet creatures like Zoca, whether they even know it or not, whether they've passed on or not. That's the whole point of being a Sunwalker. Right?"

I put a hand on my cousin's shoulder. Then, I'll admit that I cried. But I was finally in good company for it.

Still, I felt uneasy. I might botch it all up. I just might. And I was taking on so much, so fast. I knew these things never happened overnight. No matter if your chieftan or the queen of the Blood Elves yelled at you to get on with it. I wasn't a young fool anymore, I knew that change stretched you and that it could be painful in new and surprising ways.

Three cheers for new kinds of pain! …Yaaay.

The sun set. I was outside again, my cousin Brunho and everyone else facing me. I stood alone. That is how it is meant to be at a Sunwalker initiation, you are to stand brave and stand out, knowing full well that you are taking on a whole new world. On my side, I could see them and through them, between the huts and longhouses, to the blushing lake and the red-green hills of Mulgore beyond. All that I would vow to protect with all of my strength. Now, it was mine in a way more intimate than any Pathfinder could know it. It felt to me like… Pathfinders walked over the land, chased villains across the grass, back into their holes. But a Sunwalker embraced it all in his arms. If it failed, then he failed. So then, there was no failure. Mulgore and her mercy, or her retribution, were a real part of me now.

Aponi said the final words, raised her hands with the column of smoke from the bonfire. The place was so silent you could hear our beads clinking as we all breathed and listened. Saturna stood on one side, being serious. She had her flaws, yeah. But, then again, she couldn't help looking sort of… strawberry? Saturna had this playful thing about her for me now, since our coffee date. I was less intimidated. She was dangerous yes, but also a silly person, wasn't she? Running us men, especially her husband, around in fun circles like a cute lion tamer… Deep down, she thought it was a riot and laughed her head off, I'm sure. I bet if I tickled her right then, she'd start giggling. I winked at her.

Saturna's smile slipped free. She mended it and straightened up again, but not before waggling eyebrows at me in an obvious, comical way.

Chief Baine was on the other side, looking ready for a war against evil itself in his fine white eagle feathers… I looked carefully his way, to see if he noticed I was flirting. Nope. Then another thought occurred, Baine was probably deep in his own mind, reveling in his fun game of Hearthstone with King Anduin.

That whole Anduin thing bothered me less after my talk with my cousin. Maybe it was possible for Humans and Horde folks to be friends. Some Humans, anyway. I wondered if Anduin, a Paladin, might be like Lord Maxwell at all? He'd made some pretty interesting leaps for peace and he was so young, too. Good Humans… A very new concept. And Anduin was a Paladin too, right? Or was he a priest? I had no idea, but the point was, there may be hope for our factions, yet.

I focused on Aponi once more. She was intense. She seemed to read that my mind was wandering as she spoke those words of ritual. Her voice somehow moved from over my head to the crowd flanking her, and back to me, right into me. If I winked at her right then, or imagined her giggling over a game board with King Anduin, she'd probably sense it and clock me right between the horns, so I cut out the mental shenanigans and tried to pay attention.

"…And what does the Light teach us?"

I said, "Hope and love."

"Yes, Turaho. And yes, to everyone here gathered. The murky waters of despair sometimes surround us…" she went on.

Water. I would be treading water for the first few days of my initiation, I could tell you that.

My part was coming up soon. I was sure I'd slip under and drown. I thought the final words would stick in my throat and Zoca would finally come and haunt me in my dreams, bark at me over and over again for letting her down, howling about how I should have been a better master and become a full Paladin much sooner.

You see? Guilt'll go any which way it chooses. So you have to be careful who or what you decide to blame. Everyone needs to focus on that greater cause. Brunho was right.

And then, speaking of water…

There was a small commotion across Stonebull Lake. I could see it from where I was. Everyone else was facing me, so they didn't realize it yet. A couple of fisherman, one of them was probably old gray Morty… yeah it was him. They were chasing after a smaller figure. Still tall, but more lean, more… Elven.

I narrowed my eyes.

And that finally did it. Alessandre. Marty and the other old Tauren fisherman were waving their fists and poles in the air, throwing rocks. But Alessandre was standing in water up to his knees, in plain daylight, holding his own fishing pole, smoking his pipe. That pipe would have been the thing to give him away. Marty's rocks, and their ripples, were meant to either hit Alessandre or disturb the water to show there was a stealthed Night Elf standing right there, pretending that Mulgore was his own personal playground.

That sonofabitch. The very idea of him catching a big fat trout, and on my watch!

Aponi raised her arms to the sun, "How much bigger is this than anything we've ever known in our daily lives? To be a Paladin, at times, is to be vengeance, yes. But it is also sacrifice incarnate! Our brother Turaho is about to make many very great sacrifices for the ones he doesn't know, for the ones who even hate him, as well as for those that he loves…"

I was furious. All that work I had done over the years, in Lordaeron, in Orgrimmar, in Ashenvale. All the things I did as a Pathfinder to keep my people safe, and it still wasn't enough. Being a hunter, tracking down a lone villain or a few, marking them for the authorities to pick up, or picking them off… it was like whacking flies with your tail, wasn't it? It did no damned good. Not really. Because men like Alessandre were still standing in my lake, fishing!

A rock whizzed past his head then, and Alessandre sort of weaved easily, re-cast with his fishing rod.

"And that is why all Paladins…" here Aponi probably did not mean to pause, but the presence of defiant Saturna, right there, must have stung her, "Are united under the Silver Hand. We are a brotherhood and a sisterhood—a family of people, of mortals, committed to the immortal. To the eternal goodness in this life…"

So true. As a Paladin, you had the Silver Hand and the… Knights of the Blood Nexus, and whatever else. A world-wide effort more than happy to sweep skunks like Alessandre with his _rapier_ clear off the face of this earth! If I had been a Paladin, would today have gone differently? Would Alessandre have tried to chat with me like he wasn't an enemy to life and goodness itself, by tempting me to betray my people and the Horde!

And then Alessandre noticed me staring at him. He waved at me like we were old buddies.

Aponi's voice surfaced again, "What say you, Turaho? Are you with us?"

That rotten…that slimy… Ugh! I hated Alessandre, I was so sure of that by now! Yes, this was bigger than Zoca! It was bigger than Bloodhoof and Mulgore and even me. I at last realized that had to do something and it was not mope and be afraid.

No. Damn. More.

And why the hell was I keeping them waiting?

"I, Turaho Runestalker swear, by the Light of Mu'sha's sun and her moon, that I will do everything that I can to PURGE this world of the darkness! In every corner! In Orgrimmar, in Thunderbluff, in the Undercity, and in Silvermoon. PURGE!"

I think I scared a few people. Well, I'd made it loud.

Loud. Proud. And, Paladin!

The Sunwalkers at last stepped down and gathered around me, shouting the oath, too. We held onto each other's shoulders, began to leap into the air like new calves, but our voices bellowing. Together we were a wardrum. One.

The Bloodknights did nothing. I supposed they had their own version back in Silvermoon. It probably involved spraying each other's hair ritualistically or something. Saturna smiled down at me, delighted. She could probably tell that I really meant it. I'm glad I convinced so many people. I'm glad that I finally convinced myself.

Brunho got in once the shouting and jumping was done. He shook my hand first, "You're supposed to say 'pledge', cousin Turaho. 'I pledge to clear this world of darkness…' well, nevermind. You did well. You did really well!"

"Ah crap! Haha! I guess I messed this up too, just like anything else."

Some other Tauren with reddish fur bellowed more laughter and said, "No, I think it just means you're a retribution paladin." His sun-yellow headdress was pretty smart. I got distracted, wishing hard that I'd get mine before leaving Mulgore.

Brunho agreed, "Yeah, that's about right. Hey, that means you're just like Queen Saturna!"

Saturna's name brought me back, "Hey, is anyone going to do anything about the blatant Night Elf fishing on the lake over there?"

Saturna had been moving toward me in the crowd. She stopped when she heard and shouted an order, immediately.

Then, it was amazing. A cavalry of Thalassian Chargers and Sunwalker Kodos were suddenly crashing through the water, together, right at Alessandre on the far bank. Didn't matter who gave the order, I guess. They all were trained to fall in line and follow the top Paladin who gave a command. I couldn't help but feel that the Bloodknights were missing out on something under Saturna. Suppose one day the Silver Hand up and decided they weren't going to listen to people like her?

But right now, though? White water, wild whinnies, hollering warcries, kodos thundering on, golden Light flashing. Kodos, horses, Tauren, Blood Elves, united. All unleashed together, and all on my word. Just one word from me that I was being messed with, and they pulled together. They jumped on it to defend their own. No lone Pathfinder could summon power like that. But now that I was one of them, yes I could. It was the best thing I ever saw.

They must have stirred up half the lake, rampaging like that. I just barely saw old Morty shrieking that they'd scare away his fish.

…Idiot.

They churned around awhile, sweeping their weapons through the air, slicing high arcs of white water with their gold spells being blasted into it. But Alessandre had vanished. He would live another day to torment me with being so good-looking and ferocious.

Not a compliment. I think?

Anyway, I would be ready for his skinny Elf ass. Me and my Paladin buddies.

Still, it was a great way for me to begin. Many things are uncertain for me now, sure, but taking my oath that way, on that day… I already knew it was the best decision of my life.

Zoca would have loved it. It even kind of felt like she was with me.

It was tiny, it was brief. It happened while I was watching the crash of water and metal plate, delighted that all these new friends were mine and that we really could heal the world together. I remember I was just standing there, amazed. My hands were at my sides. There was nothing around me. Couldn't have been, because everyone had mounted up and left me. The villagers, including Baine, were hanging back, making sure folks were safe. I was on my own. Me, air and fading sunlight. And I swear to you… I felt her cold nose in the palm of my right hand.

So, at last, I was forgiven.

Or, perhaps I had accepted there was nothing to forgive?

But not even that mattered any longer. Thank you, Lord Maxwell. Thank you, Brunho. Thank you Aponi, and Baine and even Saturna. I was thirsty and so you made me go to the water. You showed me how to drink. Whether you dunked my head in for your own reasons, or you pleaded with me nicely… finally, I did it. Only I could take that drink.

The gift of being a Paladin is so magnificent, I can only look back on that day with deep gratitude. You were the ones who enabled me to survive the greatest storm of my life, after my mother died. Deep down, I did not think I was going to make it. I sort of thought, 'Gods no. Not another one. Not Zoca. I can't take another one…'

But here I am. Thank the Light.

And now that side of myself was finally settled and at peace…

Time to get some BOOTY before going out of town. Wooo!


	11. Actually Good Tauren Pickup Lines

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : It isn't going to be weird, I promise. Turaho's just a goofball.

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Actually Good Tauren Pickup Lines**

 **T** he way people were partying by then—you'd think there hadn't been a dramatic winter storm, then the kidnapping of the most revered Dwarf this season, aside from King Magni Bronzebeard. It was surreal, everyone drinking, hollering and carrying on, while the civilized world was covered in snow, so noble and in mourning… Or, maybe it was just very Horde of us.

When you're on an even bigger mission to get blind drunk like me, myself and I, you can hardly tell! Woohoo!

I was being so grumpy before, I almost forgot that it was _my_ party, and that meant it was also time to see if the man, the myth, the legend, the new Paladin Turaho Runestalker was gonna get some booty-booty before he had to go off to Silvermoon! Cause I had been freshly initiated, I had on my new Sunwalker leathers and beads, and that new-man minty fresh smell is always bound to turn on the ladies like nothing else. How could I have missed that possibility? Yes!

And one night was all I needed, are you kidding me? Have fun and go. Don't break any hearts, just enjoy. Going away the next day wasn't some death sentence.

Amazing the things you miss when you're busy being depressed. I assumed that it wasn't possible, that I wouldn't have time to romance any of these females… but a few hours was fine. A few precious hours before going away to Silvermoon.

I felt like I'd come back from the dead! Sorry to say it, but my libido was on fire!

Well, not sorry. Just watch and learn. The stud is about to go into action…

I got a big drink and looked for the queen of the… Knights of the Booty Nexus, or whatever. This secret organization Saturna was running under my nose was actually kind of hot. Games within games, secrets within secrets? How naughty. What else was she into, then? Hey, I'm an investigator, I guess that's what I like.

… Are you laughing at me?

Hey, think I could get her alone if I played it like I needed to question her about Greatfather Winter? Cause yeah, that's the whole point of this adventure, so it's still a thing.

Come on along with me, read on. I need a wingman.

When I found her, Saturna was standing with Aponi Brightmane, having a terse conversation about the Silver Hand. I couldn't believe my luck. Saturna's only other option for conversation with a high-up person was Chief Baine and I noticed that he kept giving Saturna pretty singed looks. Baine had learned his lesson from before, and being shouted at by an angry, jealous King Kael'thas was clearly not a pleasant experience.

Welp! More for me! His royal arse was all the way across the Great Sea and, like Alessandre said, nobody cares what the lowly Tauren investigator does…

Ugh, get out of my head, Alessandre! You're harshing my vibe here… Why am I even thinking of a Night Elf at a time like this?

Anyway. I'm a Paladin now, and I'm playing to win. Time for Baine to learn from the master.

"Saturna, may I ask you something about Silvermoon? I'm afraid it's a bit personal, regarding the investigation. Poor, poor Greatfather Winter…"

Just as I suspected, she was relieved to get away. Saturna actually walked pretty far with me, considering that we both knew it was a fake reason. That is, until I dropped the true name of her secret organization and she hastened me to a quiet spot, behind a row of longhouses.

I went, "There's a closet upstairs, actually—"

"Shh—It's called the Knights of the _Blood_ Nexus, by the way! Who told you it was the Knights of the Booty Nexus? That's terrible! That's… " then she snorted laughter and had to stop herself.

Ah, I love this girl. A queen and she can still do that. Saturna's so fun.

"Ah, so it does exist?"

"…Not in the way you're implying." She crossed her arms and waited. It was my turn to laugh.

I enjoyed it greatly.

"But back to being serious, though. Saturna, why have you done this, made a secret sect of Bloodknights that not even the Silver Hand Knows about?"

"They know. They just can't do anything about it. That's the real danger."

"Damn. I knew you Elves were vain but… you really are implying that you are more important than a world-wide order of Paladins? I don't believe that, so I'm sure as hell Lord… Maxwell doesn't believe it either."

"Lord Maxwell Tyrosus? How does he come into this? What has he said to you?"

I slowed myself down. I had been drinking, I had Saturna all alone, and I was really, really up from having just become a Paladin, being the star of the party, and being able to… I was sure that I'd just petted Zoca again, too, from the spirit world.

I looked down and poured out the last of what I had to drink in my cup. No more Firewater tonight. It could ruin my whole investigation.

"My cousin met Lord Maxwell in the Western Plaguelands, as part of his tour of duty in the Eastern Kingdoms." I hated to mention the names of my family members, but better to give her everything at once rather than tempt her into investigating it, herself, "Sunwalker Brunho Runestalker had a chat with Lord Maxwell about me being so depressed. Brunho did all this before he even knew I was going to investigate the Blood Elves, so don't hassle him about it. There's no need for you to bother my cousin."

Saturna kept looking at me. She wasn't sure if she could trust it or not. At last, she breathed out and relaxed. "True. There couldn't be any connection."

"He also met Sunthraze the Sly," that felt so weird to say with a straight face, "but Brunho had no idea of that connection either."

Saturna tensed up again, "So then how did you know about the Knights of the Blood Nexus? Who told you, if not your cousin?"

Gods, I'm good. If you listen, there's a straight line Saturna drew there, from Sunthraze, to my cousin, over to this conversation… So this Sunthraze guy was probably one. I'd bet money on that. I wondered if I could guess the others. I wondered if they had back-issues of _Goblin Gentleman's Magazine_ in the libraries of Silvermoon. More research would be in order.

"I have my sources."

"Another thing my source warned me of. Somebody crashed this party. But back in Thunderbluff. And I think the, uh… Night Elf arrived before even then. He must have been with us back at my hut, too. That's how much he's overheard."

Saturna was thinking quickly through all of it. And also, no doubt, the fact that I wouldn't say his name.

"A rogue?"

"Yep. He saw you and Baine with Kael'thas, too."

"Don't put it like that! I am married remember?"

Which reminded me, when exactly was the flirting and smooching behind the houses going to begin?

"So… the kind of marriage you have…"

"It's not creative, in any measure. Kael'thas and I are committed to each other."

Drat. Well, I'd also stopped her from seducing me anymore. Since we both knew I knew nothing was going to happen.

Ugh…

But wasn't that supposed to be a good thing? People honoring their marriage vows?

Saturna licked her lip, nervous, "It's Alessandre."

I nodded.

A small detail that Alessandre had dropped sort of came to the front of my mind, then. It wasn't appropriate at all. I wondered if there was any way I could ask whether Kael'thas actually did sleep with his succubus? I presumed—I hoped—it was a holdover from his bachelor years as a young warlock. Seemed like something a warlock initiate, and a total desperate dork, would do.

Would Saturna finally come around if I could prove he was cheating? They wouldn't be all that committed to each other, then. Ha!

I looked in her eyes, as Saturna was busy being worried about Alessandre himself skulking around. True concern was there. In the end, I couldn't bring myself to burden her with what was, let's be honest, a slappable offense. It was the sort of thing that might work in an investigation, placing some more heat on your suspect. But I was circling around breaking up a marriage, wasn't I?

Well… but if he's a loser and it needs to end anyway?

Then, another voice, I'd never heard it before, stepped in. _Is that something a good Paladin would do?_

"We shouldn't be alone like this, then. Turaho, let's get back to the others."

"But he doesn't want to target you—"

"How do you know?"

Should I reveal that I'd spoken to Alessandre? One on one? For a really long time, long enough for Alessandre to offer me a chance to become a double agent?

That was most dangerous for me.

"He just… would have tried it by now. Alessandre has had plenty of opportunities. And imagine, if he's this capable, he's had many opportunities over several years that he hasn't taken. Alessandre doesn't want to take out you or Kael'thas so easily. It's probably politically… messy, somehow."

Why had I lied to her about Kael'thas?

I offered Saturna my arm in a gentile fashion, and politely ushered her back to the party. I felt like an idiot doing so, giving away a free pot roast supper, but there you go.

"Turaho? You can mention my organization to other people if you want to, but it'll come back on you, you know."

"Will it?" I couldn't keep lust and intrigue out of my voice.

"The Silver Hand is afraid of us. What does that tell you?"

"Come on, you don't really need that much control. Over all of the Blood Elf Paladins? And also over the Silver Hand? It's almost laughable that Silvermoon thinks itself that important."

"Trust me, I do need it. And I suppose it is very, very funny, Turaho." She whispered, "…But only to me. Now, think about what all that means before you challenge me again. Okay, pooky-bear?" Well, Saturna had been onto me, at least in that respect. She got her teasing look in.

That was spooky and enticing all at once. However, I couldn't pursue it. Not romantically and not for work, either. At least not yet.

So… Next! There's always someone else pretty to put on the menu.

Ah. Aponi Brightmane herself… So nice of her to come all the way down to Bloodhoof Village just to see me. And I mean, really see me. She just didn't know it yet. Now's my turn to waggle my eyebrows in an obvious manner.

Actually, if I put Saturna back with her, I might be able to bump Aponi out of orbit and get her alone. Since neither woman liked the other. Haha-Let's try it!

…I succeeded. Saturna looked confused and annoyed at first, since I was the one who saved her from Aponi to start with. But Saturna eventually excused herself and wandered off to some other part of the gathering.

Leaving me and the founder of our Sunwalker order… so wonderfully alone. This time, I went right in.

"You're a beautiful woman, Aponi Brightmane."

She stared. Then she… giggled. A little? Was that a smile?

"Aren't you Aponi Brightmane? A woman with the power of the sun in the palm of her hand?"

She shook her head at me, but that smile was still there.

I smiled politely, "Have mercy on me, please. I thought to myself, 'I bet Aponi doesn't get chatted up enough. She works exceptionally hard and she's often very busy. I should do my duty as a male, and as a Sunwalker, to set that right.' "

She still wasn't totally sold. She kind of smirked, "And how is it your duty as a Sunwalker to flirt with me? I'd love to hear what you've come up with for that one."

Sometimes when they get sarcastic, there's a little bit of interest in there. Dare I say, a hunger?

"When was the last time you had a Mulgore strawberry, fresh from the field? And honey just neatly cracked and poured from the honeycomb?"

Let's make it a full-on craving.

She looked aside, for a moment. Checking around to see if this was really the dream it sounded like, I take it? Yes, that's me, emerging from the golden clouds of desire. You swaying on your hooves is not your imagination at all girl. Jump on it!

I'm awful. I was also hoping Auntie Freya had harvested the hives we kept first thing in the morning like she always did. There should be some left, I hoped.

I tried again, "…Why don't we float off together?" then, I grounded it for her, to keep things safe and cozy, "It's all in my back garden. And there's a nice bench to sit on while we cloudgaze."

Aponi opened her mouth to laugh. She took a step toward me, lowered her voice. "But people cloudgaze while lying on the ground, Initiate Turaho. And, it'll be dark soon."

"Now, now, Aponi. We're herd animals, aren't we? We follow one another, we think alike. I go where you go. So don't be afraid." I grinned and offered my elbow. "If you want it, then I want it, too."

Aponi cleared her throat, politely. Then she sort of grabbed me. She reached in and cinched herself tight around my arm. She let me lead her away.

"And… being herd, we Tauren are better together, baby."

She congratulated me on another excellent Tauren pick up line. Of course. Told you I had some great ones.

She warmed right up, "You're sort of a full-grown initiate, too, aren't you?"

"Oh, yes. I'm probably the most mature, sophisticated and skilled Sunwalker initiate you've ever seen."

"I've initiated dozens, trust me." She sounded so disappointed. I didn't think… naw, not that. I doubt she would want to or even need to become romantically interested in the Paladins she presided over at ceremonies. But she probably was seeing a lot of happy young Sunwalkers celebrating afterward, going off with their friends. Never able to join in that.

I smirked, "It's alright if there's a little fantasy in this. I'm only happy to oblige, Aponi. I mean, there's a great fantasy for me on my end, so that's only fair."

She blushed. How cute.

"I'm no… legend."

Don't tell anyone else that being an investigator can help you pick up women. I was able to read her desires right out of her mind, by what she implied, the way she spoke around what she wanted, her body language. And she was no liar.

"You're my heroine." True, in a way. She did inspire all of this, and I was becoming more and more fascinated with her by the moment. She was lovely.

Aponi gushed, then tutted for me to stop.

"Beautiful, so brave. You saved me today."

Now that one's not a lie. Through that… eternal hoop of goodness that is one Paladin trying to save one person and so on, she'd snatched me clear out of the jaws of depression and worse. I did feel moved by that very beautiful long-range vision of hers back in Northrend to save so many of her people… and finally getting me laid.

"Did I really save you? I don't even know you."

"And that's the best part. It what makes you a celebrity."

She became very shy, "Am I? I'm not… Well no, a Blood Elf maybe? Or someone like… Chief Baine. But Tauren don't get to be celebrities?"

"You broke the barrier. Humans, Dwarves and Elves thought they could be the only Paladins. But people with hooves can do it too, clearly."

She burst into bright laughter.

Then, since she brought it up, "And Queen Saturna can't even hold a candle to you—"

"Let's not push it. I did see you walk off with her earlier."

I knew when to shut my mouth.

Aponi sighed, "Turaho. You are a handsome man, you're older than me—which I've always liked. And you're not an idiot. You know how to be discrete as well as delight a woman. At least, you'd better." She stopped me when we finished walking around to the field behind my family's longhouse.

I made a quick glance around… thankfully, nobody was there. And it looked like the garden shed did have a table with a jar set on it, like always. That would be our honey.

Then, Aponi Brightmane said something that made me want to marry her on the spot.

"I was sort of hanging around, a bit, waiting for you strike out with Saturna."

I raised my eyebrows.

"She can't appreciate the best of what our people have to offer, can she? I would have cheated on Kael'thas with you."

I opened my mouth, shocked.

Aponi winked at me, "Blood Elves are pointy, kind of arrogant. I prefer my men horny, and beefy."

"And tenderized?"

"Are you tenderized? I guess we'll find out after a good pounding, won't we?"

I scratched my head, started laughing. She had some pretty good lines, too! But then I couldn't keep it up, "Don't joke. I'm no… Kael'thas. I see what you meant about Saturna. Now you're going to hurt my pride—"

Aponi kissed me. Genuinely.

"I've heard about you before now, you handsome thing." She touched my cheek. "Nice to see all the rumors are true."

"What have you heard?"

"You're not the only celebrity around here, as far as I'm concerned."

Then I was the one who blushed, I'm sure.

"So—I see we're standing in the strawberries. Give me my honey or you don't get any more kisses." She put her hands on her round hips.

I let her order me around, down the letter.

And as I said, I'd be discreet…

But I will say, I've never had so much fun with a girl in a strawberry field before. Not even with Meydiri.

Aponi made me go back on my own while she went to bathe in the lake. I, uh, somehow got a lot of honey in her fur.

Well, well, well… A point for me at last.

I got another drink (not Firewater) and decided to have a seat, you know, eat with my cousin for a bit. He somehow noticed what I did with Aponi—where we went off to at least. He kept asking questions. I didn't tell him a thing. My goofy smile should have made it more than obvious. We laughed hard at other things, he introduced me to his Sunwalker friends. Then, they all wanted to dance with some more girls. I saw Aponi walk back around then, perfectly groomed and dressed, though a little wet. She glanced at me, smiled from across the party, but then resumed what must have been a very difficult conversation to stay serious about, with Chief Baine.

Smart as a whip that one. She knew better than to make a thing of it. I like Aponi.

I got pulled back into the crowd of revelers by my cousin.

"Night's young!"

"I need to sleep now, are you kidding me?"

"That's not how they do it in Silvermoon! Come on, now." Then, Brunho slipped in and danced next to a pair of pretty Tauren girls, beckoned me to join him.

He said, in my ear, "You don't have to stop at just one!"

Shameless. And then he started bragging to the girls that 'my poor cousin Turaho, he has to go away to Silvermoon in the morning and he'll be all alone out there.'

So shameless!

The girl with a blonde hide quickly separated me from my cousin. She must have seen herself as some alpha personality, ditching her girlfriend like that, and making the choice for both of them about who was going to have me. It kind of turned me off.

But then again, we only had one night to sort out 'poor me', didn't we?!

She and I flirted and kissed as we danced. Then, she sneaked me between the row of longhouses at the back of the village, and slammed me up against the a log wall. I let her.

"Wait, what's your name?" I was smiling so hard that it hurt, but I kind of was panicking, too.

"Call me Clover."

"…Uh, why?"

"Because, cutie, you're about to be rolling in it."

Wow.

It's okay, you don't have to believe this. You don't even have to keep reading, if a Tauren man being so debonair and in high demand is against your personal code.

But I love being a Tauren. And I really, really loved being a Tauren that night.

I guess, if you think about it, Sunwalkers must just… have this aura about them. One thing I hadn't considered, I had just enjoyed one of the newest, most impressive military outfits in Azeroth. Tauren. Paladins. It would have sounded like a joke only a few years ago. But we were out there, being noble, taking names and all that. We had some serious respect. And nobody else could make turquoise look so good. Another thing I had missed out on while being so dejected about life—becoming a Sunwalker was going to be very, very good for my image, and my reputation.

I was hot stuff!

Why is the Light so awesome?

Okay, so, after all that, I started to feel embarrassed. In fact, I think people were starting to notice. I had been discreet about Aponi, but that Clover girl seemed more than happy to make sure people noticed she'd snagged me. She got really loud, she started using these nicknames for me eventhough we didn't know each other more than a hot minute. And she kept sending me off to get me and her friends more drinks.

So, on one of my little Firewater excursions, I just didn't go back. I sneaked back to the family longhouse and prayed that there was a quiet corner for me to finally go and fall asleep in.

But then, two weird things happened.

Firstly, I tripped over something short. I thought it was an animal at first, perhaps a dog or a raccoon—even Zoca! But it wasn't my ghost dog come back from the dead to finally be with me. It was green and cussing, and when I looked harder, it was a Goblin in a suit, dusting himself off.

"…Oh. It's you."

"Of course it's me! Who else is it gonna be?!" Supervisor Fitzprocket was bolder than ever. He'd trekked all the way across the Golden Plain. He'd risked his neck by even being outside of the Venture Co. mines in the hills and its adjacent holdings that were patrolled by bruisers and nasty Goblin land mines.

I swayed on my hooves. I was tired and still a little drunk, so I got to the point, fast. "You came by my house because you got intel for me? Go on, spill it."

Then another familiar, even more nasal voice, "Hai, Turaho! Fitzy said he wanted to come over and see if you'd really go through with it. I'm so glad I came with! You looked good up there, really good!"

Bonnie. Huh. So, why were they both outside of the Venture Co. mines, at night, at a party? Together? I wasn't buying the whole thing about them seeing me…

My investigator funny bone sort of kicked in.

"You two are on a date!"

"Shh! Keep it down—"

Bonnie flared at Fitz, "Oh? So now you're DENYING it!"

Well, I had started something, hadn't I? I grinned while they sounded hoarse, shouting at each other when they knew they really couldn't be heard shouting at one another with all these vengeful Tauren about. I ushered them around back. Kinda weird that Aponi and I were just back there but… well… Hey! It's a small village. There are only like four buildings, right?

"Anyway, I did have intel for you, mister Pathfinder." Fitz tugged on my pantsleg and then I knelt down.

"It's mister Sunwalker now."

"Right. Whateva. I did the check… There really weren't no strange orders for Dwarf-sized boxes. Not even a sniff about that sort of thing. Nobody in the Venture Co. nor the black market—I dunno why Bonnie volunteered to make that particular check, but whateva—Not one doity animal we've eva heard of was thinking of taken the old Dwarf. Some talk of a new Winterspring mining operation, but…" Fitz then waggled his hand lazily, like he thought any further exploitation of the wintery wasteland that was Winterspring would be pointless. In both our opinions, because we've discussed this on many late nights, Winterspring was full of Elf ghosts, ice-themed wildlife, and decent ice fishing but not much else. (And an epic bow quest that I refuse to recall at this point because it was so traumatizing way back when—so glad I'm not a hunter anymore!)

"Anyways," Fitz got distracted looking at Bonnie in her little black dress, then kicked the dirt to cover for it, "Turaho, your two leads then are definitely them Elves."

"Yep, and the Twilight Cultists." Too bad I couldn't just ask Meydiri. My ex worked closely with them, for years.

"Huh? Where do those guys come in?" Fitz scratched his chin, "Well, if the cultists involved, it's a shame you can't ask Meydiri."

Speak of the devil.

Fitz rolled his eyes, "It's almost as of _someone_ out there upset Meydiri and she disappeared from all of Mulgore. I haven't seen that sweet girl in months!"

Now was my turn to roll my eyes. By 'sweet', Fitz meant Meydiri had deep pockets and a propensity to spend all of her money getting drunk in his bar. Meydiri was a rare breed—a well-off Pathfinder with a dark streak. She had plenty of money and she liked to waste it in rat holes. Not that Meydiri wasn't sassy and fun. Her allure was what enabled her to get away with it for so long. And it had been what kept me on the hook for so danged long. But Meydiri was always more into the exotic reaches of the world she had to go Pathfind in, less interested in Mulgore. I sensed her time was up career-wise toward the end of our romance, and I was sure she had realized it, too.

What a pair we were. Both of us sick of being Pathfinders. Somewhere in there, I think we hoped to run away together. Get away from everything. Hadn't we?

"Wait. Fitz, you said two. But you only said the Elves were a lead." I didn't miss details like this, usually. "So the Elves make up two whole leads?"

"You know… the uh, Night Elves and the Blood Elves, right? They're both in on this. Ain't they?"

Well I had considered that the Night Elves could be involved, just not in that way. Not as the perpetrators. Well, if Saturna was determined to take me away from Kalimdor first thing in the morning, I'd have no time to look into it. Then again, around the time I was in Ashenvale, dealing with Alessandre's rogue agents, I should have picked up on something. It just didn't seem likely, their network was more occupied with smugglers and getting the Orcs from Orgrimmar out of Azshara.

"Wait, I'm more likely to figure out a Night Elf connection than you—what the heck have you been up to, Fitz?"

Fitz was tight-lipped.

Bonnie went, "Smugglin' Night Elf wood out of Ashenvale."

I gave Fitz a look. "Thanks, Bonnie. Now I know who is probably responsible for me having to go off to Ashenvale in the first place."

Also, I was confused because I thought Bonnie was the smuggler? Or had she convinced Fitz that it was his problem, his thing and not hers? That would save her butt from being fired if it came to it. Actually… had some kind of blackmail led to this Goblin date? Both of them seemed so against each other the last time I was—Ugh! Nevermind! Elves are weird, Goblins are just plain weirder.

Bonnie blew me a kiss, "No problem, sweetie-poo!"

Fitz snatched Bonnie's hand and brought her closer over to his side.

Then Fitz lifted his chin at me, "I put it to you, Turaho—how come all the Tauren in Thunderbluff think the Blood Elves did it, huh?"

"Well, it had occurred to me too, that it was a strange coincidence. Everywhere Saturna and I asked, all the Tauren said they had a druid cousin who was so sure the Blood Elves did it."

"Eh. It's because you Tauren are all the same. Ya got a big blindspot when it comes to 'the land', to nature." Then Fitz grimaced like he was talking about a cockroach infestation. Yep, typical Venture Co. world outlook. Everything that hasn't got a price tag is problematic.

"Look, Turaho. You gotta really ask yourself, where did all this come from? Who started that rumor that it was the Blood Elves and why? It wasn't the Tauren druids, what would they have to gain? There's only one group in Moonglade so embittered, so loyal to Malfurion and his moose-antlered, feather-wearin' cronies that they'd do almost anything to please them. And I ain't talkin' foot massages!"

"What? Are you saying Malfurion himself, the Shan'do, told the Night Elf druids to lie? To lie to all the Tauren druids and spread a Blood Elf rumor throughout Thunderbluff? But why—"

"You sound like you're in the Alliance right now." Fitz pointed his finger in my face again.

"I'm being practical and fair!"

"Nope. You like Malfurion. Admit it!"

Okay so… Malfurion, for the record, is fluffy and kind. It's super hard to hate him, regardless of faction. But anyway!

"Fitz. I won't tell you again. You're way out of line."

"Think it over. _Carefully_. That's all I'm sayin. Them Night Elves ain't squeaky-clean. Trust me, I know. And you should know betta too!"

Bonnie listened to us talk. She seemed to be on Fitz's side, though she wouldn't say anything.

"Well?" I knew her opinion was on its way. I was tired of her being so polite.

"Turaho, the Night Elves are your enemies." She put it simply.

I couldn't argue against that.

I warned Fitz and Bonnie to be careful if they were going to stay for the party. But I have to tell you, Bonnie and Fitz started another argument while lingering underneath the drinks table later on. And so my old friend Supervisor Fitzsprocket ended up with another hit on him before the night was out.

Morin Cloudstalker was behind it. Again.

He threw back the table cloth as if he was revealing a horrid Royal Apothecary Society experiment, "It disgusts and appalls me how the Venture Co. wants to plunder our lands—and plunder our drinks table! Behold!"

Fitz and Bonnie were in the middle of fighting over a bottle of something. He let her have it, then glanced up. Spooked, and wide-eyed.

Morin bellowed, "Look how the Venture Co. even plans to plunder our precious Paladin party!"

Many Tauren gasped at the sight. And his use of alliteration, I'm sure.

"Heroes! Bring me his clipboard and then we'll see—"

Fitz had heard all this before, "Hold on, hold on, now. I ain't got my clipboard wit' me tonight. This ain't exactly a business call."

Morin still wasn't having it, "Then I'll have his… his fedora! Seize his fancy party hat that makes him so popular with the ladies. End this vile madness!"

"There's only one lady hea!" Bonnie piped up, "The rest are a bunch'a long-legged, flea-bitten judgemental finks!" Fitz growled for Bonnie to cut it out, but she was more pissed than anyone, "…Who are only jealous because they wouldn't look good in a Goblin transmog even if they paid the whole Consortium to fix it! Stop biddin' on my dresses, ya giant freaks!"

What the…? I'm still not sure what Bonnie was talking about to this day. But those two ended up running away across the plains again, this time hand in hand. Morin and half the Tauren women there were in hot pursuit.

And note to self: Never give Bonnie home-made Firewater.

Also, I guess more people would have helped Morin if he offered them more than a crappy [Compact Fighting Knife] or a [Goblin Smasher], whatever that even is. He's not the most famous of us Pathfinders, I'll tell ya that.

Now, for the second thing…

It all seemed fine, at first. I'd escaped my dance partner (Clover ran off with the little herd that wanted Bonnie's head on a transmogged silver platter), I'd had a few fine moments alone with Saturna, and definitely Aponi. (Which still astounded me!) I'd eaten well, joked around with my cousin and even got to party briefly with Fitz at a Tauren shin-dig which was a first for both of us. I'll admit that I liked that old coot. And finally seeing Bonnie and him together was unexpectedly nice. Though I suspect Bonnie had some other secret agenda that I wouldn't be in Mulgore long enough to see the end-game of. And that rogue Alessandre had been chased away.

Finally, I walked out to the moonlit lake, observed the deep, dark sky… I felt serene. I closed my eyes and let the tribal drums meld into my heartbeat. I inhaled the scent of the wet soil, the sour spilled Firewater, the roasting turkey… the soft flit of feathers, the sifting of sawdust underhoof… I was bottling a little of Mulgore to take away with me again, this time, to Silvermoon.

Dreaded Silvermoon.

But a part of me would always, always be here at home in Mulgore. I hoped I could come back sooner than expected. And with Greatfather Winter in tow, of course. And possibly with the Blood Elves still as a healthy part of the Horde, though it felt weird to… well, have the power to undo all of that. Alessandre had given me the power to remove Kael'thas himself if I wanted. And then it would be up to Quel'thalas whether the Blood Elves wanted _him_ or not. The Blood Elves might just stay. They might just shed Kael'thas, or crawl out of him like an old shell, who knew? It might work. In that moment, it didn't seem so treasonous.

"It's not a good deal. Don't take it."

I looked over. I knew the voice, though. You know the party's over when your ex shows up.

"…Hi Mey."

Meydiri put a hand on her hip. She had the markings of a Grimtotem, something I teased her about. But she definitely was not that. The dark looks suited her though. Horns, hooves, hide, all deep black. Actually, she was also a bit red, but you couldn't see it in the night time. Bold sunlight was the only thing that did it. She looked me up and down.

"You think you know everything." I complained. It felt like the same argument we had way back when, like we'd lost no time at all. That was either good or bad, I wasn't sure.

"I know that a Tauren doesn't belong in Eversong. And a Night Elf doesn't belong in Mulgore—"

I flashed her a look. She couldn't possibly know about Alessandre.

"…And that a Bloodknight temptress and a demon-loving fink don't belong on a thousands-of-years old throne first forged in Demon's blood no less, by Dath'remar Sunstrider himself. Now, if you want to talk about real heroes…" She left off.

We looked out at the starry lake together. The stars could have been white fireworks that were stuck, way up there.

"Does a Meydiri belong in Mulgore, for that matter? She's opposed to every inch of this place. She hates the grass, the turkey smoke, all the chieftan's rules."

Meydiri smiled, but she stayed focused on the stars.

"Well, Mey. I thought you might make your way down here-"

"I wasn't invited."

"You've never needed an invitation." I turned to her, unable to hide how I was feeling it, "Have you?"

She kept smiling, but turned and walked away. I followed her. And then we were walking around the lake together.

"I saw the Night Elf when the Paladins attacked him. I couldn't believe a Night Elf rogue was fishing in our lake, broad daylight too. You were never so surprised, I noticed, just angry."

I liked us walking together. I was just enjoying that. Meydiri noticed it and chuckled at me.

"Well, he thinks he can turn me against the Horde."

"Ha! Good thing he spoke to you first and not me."

"Not even you would go that far."

"You're not a friend of Sylvanas are you? Not really?"

"Sylvanas isn't so bad. She's just—"

"A hot Elf woman? Geesh, you're so predictable."

We stopped going around the shore of the lake. She began to lead me uphill. Then, we got to the road. We were leaving Bloodhoof, proper. I took one last glance over my shoulder. I sensed I wouldn't see again for a long while.

Meydiri stopped in the middle of the dark road. "Having second thoughts?"

"…Depends on what you're going to do to me."

We waited, flicking our tails. With interest, or trying to seem idle and not bothered. Not thrilled that we were talking again and there were no problems. Not yet.

"Why are you doing everything that is against your nature, Turaho? That's what I don't understand. I expected you to choke up there in front of Aponi, but you actually did it. You're actually… good."

I leaned on my back hoof.

Then she said, "Am I bad?"

No, she meant to say something else, something more. I let her work around to it. Meydiri kissed me and apologized for how we left things.

I nuzzled her afterward, "So… you came to say goodbye as well? Before I go halfway across the world for Mu'sha knows how long?"

"When I heard, I became so worried about you."

"Worried about me finding some Dwarf in a suit? It's a sham. Don't tell me a naughty girl like you believes in Greatfather Winter."

"No, it's Quel'thalas, it's… Kael'thas is very dangerous. I mean, that's what I've heard. He's who you're really about to go up against. Right? Greatfather Winter is probably locked up in the Sunspire, in the royal treasury for all we know. Safe and sound and silent—along with Kael'thas' other dangerous little toys."

I shrugged. "I won't let anything about this mission get to me. I can't."

"I also wish I… we should have worked together, more." She waited, "What do you think?"

"Baine would have your head if he knew you were involved in this in any way. He's terrified of things going wrong with the Blood Elves."

"So… I'm that kind of Pathfinder." She gripped my harness, then let go. She was sorrowful. Hands still on my chest, but truly miserable, "Has it all finally caught up with me?"

Now, those are some doe eyes. That's a real damsel right there. But the good kind, this time. Meydiri wanted some comforting. Someone to hold and feel good about after a rough patch, after wandering away from Mulgore for so long, and I knew the feeling. And also I guess, well… in the end, I'm a lot of things, bad and good…

But I'm also fluffy.

My hut way up in the hills didn't seem so far away, on that night. As we walked along, I played at leaning down to catch her black, swishing tail in the darkness. And she let me be an ass like that. I didn't have to chase her or try and impress her or use any special lines on her. Meydiri just relaxed in my presence and let herself be mine. Such a sweet, sweet girl.

"Turaho, how can you be sure that Greatfather Winter is in Silvermoon, let alone Quel'thalas?"

"What? Do you mean that he could be in Darnassus or maybe even Ashenvale? I was just there and I don't think that's likely—"

"No, I mean that the old Dwarf could be gallivanting around the world with his magical self, running you guys in circles and having a big ole' laugh while he's at it."

Oh, Meydiri. What a joy you are, demoralizing me like that! And right when there's very little I can even do about it. You knew that, right?!

She gave me one more kiss, but her sentiment didn't match at all. "Well, if you won't take me along Turaho, I might as well ruin it for you."

I laughed and chased her the rest of the way home.

...

 **Easter Egg!**

So, here's the full list of Tauren pickup lines. Just in case you want to use a bonafide pooktales, actually good Tauren pick-up line in-game. Muahaha… Tell them you heard it from me! Modified these a bit:

1\. Tauren-Tauren: "We're herd animals, aren't we? So don't be afraid, baby. If you want it, then I want it too."

2\. Tauren-Tauren: "We're herd animals. Tauren are better together, baby."

3\. Anyone-Tauren: "Call me Clover." Why? "Because, baby, you're about to be rolling in it!"

4\. Anyone-Tauren: "Blood Elves are pointy, kind of small. I prefer my men horny, and beefy."

5\. Anyone-Tauren: "Are you tenderized? Why don't we find out together, after a good pounding?"

6\. "You're a beautiful woman, Aponi Brightmane." I'm not Aponi! "Sorry, but you do look like a woman with the power of the sun, in the palm of her hands."

…And that one doubles as a Spiderman reference. Enjoy!


	12. Catch A Tiger By Its Tail

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Sorry for the delay. Things are slowing down now as I work on other projects. I'm also trying to take my time, write ahead and make this fanfic good.

But! I have something cool to share—I confess that this fanfic is actually inspired by a series of novels I stumbled upon which are insanely good. You can read those while you wait. Lindsey Davis writes the _Marcus Didio Falco_ novel series. Falco is a hard-boiled detective solving mysteries in ancient Rome. So Rome comes alive for you, a lot like _Rome_ the TV show, while you laugh and worry and wonder at the amazing scenes and capers she creates. Go read "Saturnalia", that is what got me hooked! After that great read, I thought… How fun would it be to try writing a Tauren-themed mystery? Muahaha.

I've always wanted to say the following: "And I did it aaall thanks to a book from my local library."

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Catch A Tiger By His Tail**

 **L** et's start this out with me complaining again, why not.

Mey went, "The Night Elves were desperate to have somebody finally fix their tree, that's all they care about, that's how all of their policy has been aligned these last few years."

And then I went, "But this Al guy—"

"I don't care!" Mey's voice flew up again. She could be smoky, sultry, but when she got upset, she had a habit of getting as nasal as a Goblin. "Whatever he told you, it's a lie. I mean, Turaho, he's the flipping Master Rogue of Darnassus!"

"Triumvir Rogue." Then, I grumbled, "They don't have master rogues anymore."

Well, we'd made it to bed. But, being us, we got distracted with business and had been up for the last hour, discussing my case.

Pretty girl, and pretty nice to be scruffy, talking about work beside her and have her still be interested in me… I snuffed a sigh out of both nostrils, then I rubbed my tired eyes. Mey turned to me in bed and smiled until I finally smiled back at her. I always liked a girl who could keep up with me.

"You goof." She nuzzled me, "You needed all that chatting up to accept that Night Elf in your life is lying to you."

"But he did make some good points."

She snuggled in closer, "And look how easy you are. I got you into bed so fast—"

Wow. And stealing my lines as well…

I took Mey's hand, then looked down at our hands together on the blanket. My hut was quiet, it must have been close to dawn. However, I didn't dare mention the hour and so break the spell, "So the Night Elf connection to this whole thing isn't just Alessandre, really? His mission to hunt Kael'thas?"

"I find it laughable, one man taking on Kael'thas Sunstrider."

"So there is something more that the Night Elves want, something that will help them save their tree Nord-"

"Teldrassil."

"Right. I was going to say that."

"No, you were about to say Nordrassil." She poked my beer-belly. Twice. "Learn to lore, Turaho."

I ignored that, "Thanks for helping me work out the Night Elf angle. But Greatfather Winter, still missing, has something to do with a World Tree? I can't see the connection."

Meydiri leaned up on an elbow. Her large brown eyes looked more innocent than usual in the moonlit dark of my hut. Slashes of white tribal marks almost floated over her muzzle, in the near dark. For a Tauren, she looked exotic, dangerous. I couldn't help kissing her cheek, then.

"Teldrassil and Greatfather Winter…" she shook her head and her horns, "I'd say they're both creatures of magic. That's gotta be your connection." I stroked her arm, and she reached over to pat mine, get me to pay attention again, "A world tree, and an immortal Dwarf like him? The world tree is sick. Maybe Greatfather Winter has the power to help. And then Greatfather Winter was in Darnassus before he visited Thunderbluff too, right?" she waited for me to catch up, then got impatient, "Turaho, that's the one piece you've been missing. I'm telling you, this… fancy Night Elf rogue you've been talking to? He should have told you all this, not me. He kept if from you. He sold you some other story about a mutual enemy, Kael'thas, to win you over. But all the while, 'the' Alessandre has been keeping those cards very close to his chest."

"Is he really technically lying to me, though? I mean, if it's a top secret project the Night Elves don't want anyone to know about…"

"Turaho. Alessandre has been playing you. Big."

"Mey, you're the one who said you'd sell out the Horde to a Night Elf if you had the chance."

"I was joking, Turaho." She tried it, but I wouldn't buy it. I rolled my eyes at her instead, "Alright, well, mostly joking. It's Sylvanas and Saurfang and the war, everyone's at their wit's end with this." I had to give her that. I sometimes found myself saying terrible things about our faction these days, I was so frustrated, "But I'll tell you one thing, if I wanted to make a change for the better and hand Horde leadership off to someone else, I sure as hell wouldn't hand it off to that smug bastard Alessandre. You'd better watch yourself."

We rested for a moment longer. Sleeping with Meydiri again the previous night was hot. That girl was part Tauren, part bonfire. She crackled, she smoked. I was pretty good kindling, I think. Together, we burned alive.

"Actually, I hate to bring this up, Turaho, but your hooves need trimming. And when was the last time you polished your horns…"

Well, she was also an ex-girlfriend.

I chose to re-live the magical night while Mey fussed at me. I had chased her off the road, out into the wild. She let me catch her while we were alone in the hills, beneath the stars. Mey had always been a lot of fun, and so she didn't hold back when I carried her home, into my hut.

And Mey loved it. In fact, I think she made me take about ten years off. I also remembered that I got very grumpy at one point and had started to complain, likely the drinking and the running all the way up into the hills gave me some kind of old-man headache. But Mey hadn't cared about that. She only cared about me. And she said she was proud of me, too. Proud of how hard I worked, to finally become a Sunwalker. I could only believe her.

That one's a tip for the ladies out there—arouse the whole me, why don't you?

And here's one for the fellas. Never let a girl get away who cares about you like that. Who makes you feel real again.

Mey had quieted herself down. She'd become enamored with stroking the mussed hair on my head. I grinned and tugged around Mey's waist. But then she sat up again with a new idea. Timing. Darn.

"Turaho…"

"Yes, my little muffin?"

She eyed me. I never have called her that or anything close to it, and she wasn't one to let it slide.

"Don't laugh at me. I'm trying to get the hang of us again, I think."

"I won't laugh," and I noticed she dodged the 'us' part, "I want to stay on topic. Turaho, there is something I realized I should tell you. I do know a little more about this Alessandre guy. If I held it back and it came up later… it's best that I just come clean."

"Oh?"

"My assignment with the Twilight Culists… I've learned things from them. I know what they know, who they fear. He's one of the people they're afraid of."

"Right. That whole spooky voice on Thunderbluff, bragging he was a man with many heads—"

"That's the thing, Al would never say that. He would never brag about how he took out one of our own. Well—here I am talking like I'm under cover again. One of _their own_." She bounced a bit when I stretched and shifted myself in the bed. Mey waited to see if I'd been paying attention. Sometimes, she made me feel like I was the pupil and she was some haughty, naughty schoolmistress… I cleared my throat, for her to go on. "Turaho, this Alessandre guy has had the worst luck. I'm sure his current wife used to be a Twilight Cultist. And years before that, maybe a thousand years before, he was involved with another woman who succumbed to their cult."

"Okay, talk about having a type. Whew!"

"He is a sworn enemy of the Twilight's Hammer. If there was a voice up on the bluff that you heard, bragging about having their powers, bragging about how he made a name for himself that way, it couldn't have been him. It shouldnt've been. It does not match Al, like at all. He hates everything to do with them. I mean, would you brag about, I dunno… sticking the knife in Magatha Grimtotem?"

"No." I didn't even have to think about it.

"I mean, we Tauren are glad that the Grimtotem threat has been ended here in Mulgore, we're relieved that Magatha's betrayal is over. But we have some level of abhorrence for the whole situation, some… sensitivity about it. It should have never happened, it almost makes us feel… It's hurt, it's shame. We wouldn't open that wound for the world to see and start laughing about it. We'd be happier to forget about it."

I nodded. Mey was good. She'd translated her thoughts, and the culture of the Twilight Hammer's Cult pretty well. Mey was an excellent infiltrator. She could play up the big, dumb and angry Tauren bit to anyone who might fall for that. But then, next thing you know, she's facing someone like Baine Bloodhoof, going over her mission, the minutae of what the enemy thought and felt, in granular detail.

"I adore you, you know." I had to look deep in those intelligent eyes.

Mey kissed me. "You sexy devil. Right in the middle of me giving you some life-saving advice, and you want to distract me. I was about to tell you what to do. I know the perfect solution to all of your problems with this case."

"Order me around all you like, then—"

"Turaho," she pushed in the middle of my chest, to get me to slow down. "This next part is serious. Are you listening to me?"

I wasn't, but I knew how to look it.

"I'm the expert. You clearly need me."

"Uh huh…"

"Take me with you, Turaho. I need to go to Silvermoon with you and see this through myself. You could use someone to watch your back. It's the only way to ensure the success of this mission."

I blinked, then I had to sigh and rub my eyes again, "Mey, we already did this. You cannot come with me to Silvermoon. End of. This is too important. I mean it did seem like a crap assignment at first, but now that I'm inside of the damned thing…"

"Well, if you had said 'too dangerous' I would have clocked you."

"And aren't you supposed to be finishing up with the Twilight's Hammer Cult? I thought you had one final run to go, but that was two years ago when we spoke of it last."

She turned from me. Oh, I'd hit a note.

And, of course, that meant we had to talk about it. I said this next thing gently, "Meydiri. How's your mission going?"

"Well, obviously, it isn't finished yet."

"…Okay."

"You're judging me."

"I'm not judging you, Mey. Not after last night, how could I ever find you wanting?"

She crossed her arms. Alright, here it comes…

"The Twilight Cultists are very, very hard to untangle in Thousands Needles. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it."

"So you're still, uh, _in the process_ of finishing things with them? Well, what the hell are they up to, now?"

"See? Judgement. And didn't I call it?"

"Mey, it's damned suspicious. I can't lie to you about that. What more can the Twilight Hammer cult possibly want from 'a passing Grimtotem trader' at this point?"

She huffed, crossed her arms again, tighter.

"Look, I'm worried! You've probably fatally compromised your own mission."

She got heated at me, right away, "Alright, I'm done! You don't want me to come to Silvermoon with you, fine. And it's because you want to chase around that Saturna Whiteblade, isn't it?"

Wait, was I really doing that? Like, deep inside and I didn't realize it? Woah. Well, if there was a mystery to solve between me and Queen Saturna, Mey would be the perfect one to get to the bottom of it. Either way, I made sure I gave Mey what I hoped was a very noble look.

"Fine, Turaho! I won't ask you a _third_ time. Let's just get up, go bathe in the pond, and watch the sun rise like we always do. We can pretend we aren't actually horrible enemies."

"Mey, I'm sorry."

"You are not sorry. You aren't sorry about any arrogant thing you have ever said or done to me. You always thought that you were entitled, you put your so-called instincts above all else. Be insulting, ignore or belittle me, whatever—'Sorry Mey, I just had to say it, my instinct was killing me.' Like that's an excuse! And even when you struggled after your mom and Zoca, you refused to accept anyone else's help."

"That's low."

"No, it isn't. I did try to help you. I tried to be with you back then, but you kept pushing me away. Two world powers had to finally force salvation on you, Chief Baine and Queen Saturna. Your selfish stubbornness made you this—overblown, hot-shot Pathfinder, a crap boyfriend, and it's still with you, isn't it! Right now, it's making you a big-headed, asshole Paladin!" She shoved me. I let her, "I am not stuck working on a failed mission, Turaho. I do good work! Not everyone can have Chief Baine himself and the queen of the Elves swan down and offer me a… a friggin hand up."

"Sunwalker. I'm a Sunwalker now."

Mey turned on me. I shut my mouth this time. And yes, I guess I skipped over a lot of what she just said to piss her off. But it felt like she was being so ridiculous, flying off the handle. Was it really so horrible what I said about her mission? I thought I was trying to watch her back.

"Well? Are we doing this or not, Turaho! I'm trying not to just storm out this time."

I got my soap while she got her things.

Then, she twisted the knife, "And don't take forever with your morning pee either. We both know you're getting to be an old man!"

Yeah, I definitely let Mey go out there first.

I dragged my feet following Mey outside to the pond. I tidied a few things around the hut first, packed the last of my stuff for Silvermoon. All the things I intended to do after my charming guest had left.

But she wasn't charming anymore and she was seriously wearing out her welcome.

Worse, as predicted, my morning, um… peeing situation was taking longer than I had wanted it to, with her having made a big deal about it and all.

Hold on, there is a reason why I'm mentioning it.

" _Psst!"_

I swear, this asshole Night Elf…

"Cut that out!" I snarled at Alessandre. He'd barely waited for me to finish. At least that was smart of him. I wasn't above an ironic punishment for him sneaking up on me while peeing.

He stood from the bushes while his shadowmeld spell faded. For several blinks of the eye, it looked like the daylight and its sparkling reflection on the leaves was simply melting off of him. Alessandre checked over his shoulder for the other Tauren, and then crept close while Mey wasn't in sight. She shouldn't have been. I heard her splashing around in my pond. Sun was nearly risen by then. Guess I was going to have to miss that, too.

I fixed myself up, "Look, before you say anything—I have a lady out there. A very feisty, yet beloved friend who I will gut you for bothering if you raise your voice or so much as step anywhere outside of these bushes where she can see and hear us. Got it?"

Alessandre gave me a solemn nod.

I finished tying off the drawstring of my pants. "It's just as well you're here, I guess. I have a bone to pick with you before I leave Mulgore, you liar."

"Turaho, I came to tell you that your life is in danger."

"Haha! This is rich. You really are good, I'll give you that. I finally figure you out, but then you turn the heat way up so that I can't even question it. And then! You're the trained killer, you're the assassin, stalking me for a second time—and you're the one warning _me_ about danger?"

"Listen, there isn't much time—"

"No, I ask the questions. Because you really are on _my_ land this time, and I am tired of you messing with me. Tell me, where the hell does a Night Elf get off using Twilight Cultist tricks to scare someone? And if you wanted to collaborate with me yesterday, then why did you waste time and energy with that stupid stunt?"

"What." he looked incredulous, "That wasn't a stunt."

"So you're going to keep carrying on, pretending that you were the one?"

"Alright, calm down. It actually sounds like we're on the same wavelength here…"

"How dare you. Don't you patronize me, Night Elf, when you were the one—"

Alessandre raised his black gloved hands in surrender, "Are you seriously gearing up to blame me for pretending to scare you with that Twlight Cultist bull-crap in Thunderbluff? Wouldn't it make more sense if I were coming to tell you that I didn't do it, and that I know who did?"

I got lost trying to think through that, "But you knew about it! That means you were there."

"I'm everywhere." Yes, he said it and I had a bad reaction to it because it sounded so awful and conceited. And I was beginning to sense how Mey felt whenever I decided to be a smart mouth. Al let out a frustrated breath, "I'm trying to say that it's my job. I sneak around. Of course I know about that voice."

I shook my head at him.

Al let his shoulders drop, "I make you nervous, so you're standing here trying to outwit me. It's making you over-think everything, Turaho."

Al then arched a deep blue eyebrow at me, "You're quick. But you do need to trust yourself more. You're nearly there." He pinched fingers together in the air, "Just barely. Looks like if I try to tell you again, you won't believe me. So, go ahead. Work it out for yourself."

It took a moment, "So you were not responsible for that voice, in any way? Not you, not one of your miffed agents from Ashenvale? Well, then it's like Mey said. I guess it couldn't have been a Night Elf. That Twilight Cult stuff just too close to home for you guys." Then, I decided to try tossing him some bait, "…You especially."

Alessandre smirked, somehow missing that. "The voice freaked me out too, actually. It made me wait and re-assess before following you into the plains yesterday. Or else, I would have stopped you to talk before you made it to the Venture Co. mines."

I tilted my head, and my horns, thinking about that. We Tauren can't avoid looking that way sometimes. I've heard other races describe it as…. cute.

And I think that, sometimes, when he could get away with it, Alessandre smiled at me. I looked up again, and his face looked like it had just freshly become stone-serious.

I told him, "Alright, I get it. That threat was meant for you, not me."

"Good, Turaho. Though, I disagree about being the only one in danger. If you can work through who really did it, then it'll be obvious to you that threat was meant for both of us, actually."

"He's not… Kael'thas is not some _god_. He's all the way across the Great Sea! He's in his castle, in Silvermoon."

"Wrong. Kael'thas is a mage. That means he can be here, or over there." Alessandre shrugged, glanced over his shoulder. The pond was a little quiet, I noticed it too. And a nagging ex-girlfriend would have shouted at me by now, but I didn't dare take my eyes off of him. "…Or be anywhere else Kael'thas likes to be." Then, his eyes met mine, he was reading me, "Hrm…"

"What?"

"I see—it's a matter of you not understanding his powers."

"Last warning. Don't talk down to me, Night Elf."

"It's not an insult."

Funny, half of what he said to me felt insulting. Even the way he stood, so carefully, so neatly put together in his expensive rogue clothing I could never afford… or _fit._

Well, okay, I'll admit most of the hatred was coming from my issues. But at least I can admit to having flaws!

Alessandre proceeded to give me another lesson I did not ask for, "A Bloodmage has control over every school of magic… except for the Light. I suppose, though, he has Saturna for that. A lot of people forget that Kael'thas was a prodigy, still is. He didn't go away to Outland and stay there because he had no other choice. He figured out how to bend things there to his will. No sovereign power to slap his wrists, the region was totally vulnerable… Outland became a giant sandbox for him, a place to experiment and manipulate with no one to stop him. Many just get stuck on Kael'thas' bad reputation, how he hurt people. And yes, he did. However, there was also always an academic side to it. This man has the brain of a brilliant Gnome and the ruthlessness of a Nightsaber."

"You sound like you admire him. And Night Elves claim to be so different from the sin'dorei."

Alessandre set his teeth. He wanted to be insulting, but his problem was, he also insisted that he was some gentleman. "I respect what Kael'thas can do. If a conflagration is blocking the road home, I can't get huffy and claim that fire doesn't burn, just keep on going anyway, can I? So you don't go thinking like that, either."

I let him have that point.

Alessandre looked around anxiously again. He was being very nice about me wasting his time, I realized. So, he really did need me, or so he thought. What was making him so desperate all of a sudden?

Alessandre leaned in, "Kael'thas was also once a member of the Kirin'Tor. Those guys don't just sit in libraries, writing up reports. Think Khadgar and Jaina Proudmoore. These mages are out in the world, making and breaking the realm of possibility itself. I don't think Kael'thas is actually the type to sit at home while all this is going on and he's being targeted. Especially not with his wife out here in Mulgore, alone. And then, he saw Baine with Saturna through her scrying orb—of course Kael'thas came here." Alessandre's leather glove tightened, when he squeezed the hilt of his rapier. A sound that made me nervous, again, until I realized that it meant Alessandre was worried, too. It was, in fact, his little nervous habit, "Kaelt'has was _here_ , Turaho. I don't know how he did it, but he was standing in the space between us, up on the middle rise of Thunderbluff. Standing right where that drunk was. He either stealthed in some way, or he used a rapid blink spell that made him move faster than we could see. But he was the one who conjured a spell through that man, some kind of curse of tongues or… I don't know. But Kael'thas was the one. He exposed me."

"Why didn't he light you on fire then, for the whole of Thunderbluff to see?"

Alessandre didn't like that. He refused to respond.

I thought it over, "Well, maybe that would have slowed Kael'thas down, a showy fire spell. Maybe that's the other reason he did it. How did he know about your history with them?"

"Are you asking that just because you didn't already know about me? Turaho, I'm popular."

Jerk.

Then Alessandre looked bored, "Anyway, the more obvious reason being that Saturna would have known he was meddling in her work. An obvious fire spell would have got him into big trouble with his wife."

"They're working together."

"Funny. Kael'thas and Saturna don't seem like they're together." He smiled at his genius.

"You think they had a fight? I mean, more than just the Baine thing. Something big enough for them to lose their heads and slip up with Thalassian security."

Alessandre stopped short of twirling a slip of his dark hair. He gripped it, let it go. Probably years of training himself out of a particularly vain male Elf habit. "Looks like I gave Saturna more credit than you did. Turaho, I know that you're lusting after her, but I don't think Saturna throws herself at every man possible. That's an upset wife if I've ever seen one. She's simply pissed at her husband."

"Your evidence?"

"Life…" then Alessandre sighed at himself, no doubt realizing he had to finish his sentence, "Life experience."

"Ah. So you have problems, too. You're not perfect, either. Especially with women. Elf women!" I pointed, accusatory.

"No, I'm just married."

How did he manage to make me feel small, again, with half a breath? Was it so obvious I was a pathetic bachelor? Scraping around for scraps, relieved for crumbs with my ex? Well, the way I was still bummed about Mey while also poking around Saturna and moping that nothing was happening, that probably gave the game away.

"So, now we finally arrive at my original point. Kael'thas is hunting both of us. Let me escort you, and your Grimtotem friend—"

"She's not a Grimtotem."

"Oh, excuse me. Then I guess she's a Twilight Cultist after all."

"Good gods are you not helping your cause! No, you cannot 'walk us back to Thunderbluff for our safety.' That's as flimsy as they come anyway!"

"Turaho, there will be times during this mission when you find you need to collaborate with your enemy. Or, whoever you think is your enemy. Don't turn down my help so easily. Slow down and think. Could you ever forgive yourself if anything happened to Meydiri? Just because you turned down walking closeby a Night Elf that got on your nerves."

"And now, you're using her to get your way."

"Kael'thas has been denied blood for three days now, since Saturna arrived. He is like an addict and he's furious. He is craving a kill."

"Is he a San'layn? Heh, the way you describe him…"

Alessandre wasn't laughing. "I will ask you one last time. Let's all walk together, back to Thunderbluff. Let me get close to you guys and trail you. I can make my way from there. Don't you at least want to keep your options open? Once you get to Silvermoon, once you see what he's capable of, how sinister and cruel Kael'thas truly is… you may beg for the assistance of someone with the power and the connections to end his miserable existence." He gave me a hard look, "I would keep me in your good books, if I were you."

I squinted an eye at Alessandre, "You go between mentoring me and threatening me."

"I'll do whatever it takes."

"I think I'm done talking to you."

"Fine." He tugged his leather vest to straighten it, "As long as you understand that I'm not through with you, yet. If you live." He waited, I didn't bite. He waited even longer, I let him feel that his best efforts were worthless on me. At last, resigned, "…See you in Silvermoon."

"Is that a threat? Keep messing with me and I'll tell Saturna that you're following me around."

"Do that and I'll turn on you, fast. You may be fun, but you're expendable, Turaho. I already told you, I need to get close to Kael'thas. I'd like to get that bonus during the holiday, but I've already waited a few years to get Kael'thas. I can wait a little longer. Malfurion is pretty patient, too." Then he lightened up. Felt like it came out of nowhere, "Fair is fair. I can be the better man. I see you made your choice."

I considered pointing out that Al was probably lying about the Kael'thas assassination, too. I could have easily brought up the Teldrassil thing as well. But I'd be showing him all of my cards then, and I might still need them. Instead, I scowled at him.

"Come on, cheer up." Alessandre smiled and managed to reach in and give my shoulder a friendly pat before I could react. He sure changed his tune quick, he was all over the place. "You know, I'm actually very good company. We'll even go fishing, sometime. There's great salt-water fishing on Quel'Danas Isle."

As in… near the Sunwell? A Night Elf rogue fishing and taking a nap near the Sunwell, just like he did at my initiation, right across from Stonebull Lake? It was enough to make me see red. How did he think the Blood Elves would take it, him swanning around near their Sunwell? Was he insane?!

Alessandre must have read that in my eyes. He reassured me, "If I had the balls to kill a man in broad daylight, but not enough confidence to go fishing near the Sunwell—I'd be a pretty weird guy, Turaho."

I huffed a laugh. When I looked up, he was gone.

Well, I'll give Al one point for that. He was a pretty amusing guy.

Wait… why am I calling him Al? When did that start?

 **I** t occurred to me that two people so far had begged me to take them along. First, Mey wanted to go to Silvermoon when her work was actually in Thousand Needles, and I couldn't have been that great of a traveling companion, being her ex. And next, Alessandre was desperate (I had to assume he was, when he changed his tactics lightning fast) to just walk half a mile with me over to Thunderbluff. They were like kids begging to go the Darkmoon Faire, geez.

What had gotten into those two? Ever get the feeling that there's this… giant rogue underworld thing where stuff comes up that everyone else knows about and then make their dark decisions each morning, over their coffee with no sugar or cream, base their whole day around the sinister goings-on that don't involve mere mortals like you and me? For us, when a bunch of SI:7 agents suddenly bust out of ground, like from beneath Dazar'alor for instance, it feels like someone went upside our heads out of nowhere with a two-by-four! But they're checking their watches and are all like, 'Hrmph. Five minutes late for an invasion. The SI: 7 isn't what it used to be.'

Friggin rogues.

I was a Pathfinder, never anything like a rogue. So the whole thing about Greatfather Winter being over in Darnassus in the first place to heal Teldrassil—that was really hard to wrap my brain around. But Mey acted like it was as normal as the sun shining. And Alessandre's presence in Mulgore practically cinched that intel. He was a high-ranking Night Elf spy—perhaps the highest-ranking one in existence—and he was investigating the disappearance of what I always thought was just a jolly Dwarf in a holiday suit.

I'd misjudged about one of them, possibly. Something was going on that both Mey and Alessandre knew about. Neither one was going to tell me.

When I stepped out from behind the bushes, Mey was standing right there.

"Well, you took your sweet time. I thought about screaming at you to hurry up, but what if it was a number two?"

"Mey, I love you, but you are driving me crazy and that wasn't funny."

"What did I say? It's all true, hahaha!"

Her and her cute evil laughter.

We did our thing. We enjoyed the sun, though it had been up forever. We lathered up in the pond, we rinsed and repeated at leisure. However, I kept getting distracted from the beautiful Tauren lady with the curves, temper and deep brown eyes.

I find danger a lot sexier. Guess that's my problem, pure and simple.

I finally just let it out, "Mey, you need to speak with Chief Baine. I know you two fell out, but you are obviously in some kind of trouble with the culitsts out in Thousand Needles and he will see you again, I know it, if you let me do the talking. There is a reason why we—why the Pathfinders have to keep a good relationship with the chief. If you can't communicate with the leader of our people, then he can't provide the people you need to help you out of a fix. That was our training. You don't get to advance so high up the ranks that it's no longer a requirement."

She held onto me while we floated together, "You said you loved me, before."

Fun game. I pulled the same thing on her back in the hut, when I chose to focus on her getting the 'Paladin' thing wrong, above all the other fun stuff she mentioned.

"Because I do love you, Mey. It just keeps not… working out between us. Please let me at least protect you."

The irony was almost painful. Protection. That was what Alessandre had wanted. And wasn't that what Kael'thas was trying to give his own wife, regardless of how Alessandre tried to paint the King of the Blood Elves, as some bloodsucker? Good grain! I didn't even know whose side I was on anymore.

"…Okay."

"You sure?"

"I don't even think Baine wants me to get past the guards without being questioned, though. There's a reason I showed up at your party after dark."

"Damn, girl! What kind of trouble have you been getting yourself into?"

"Whatever I might have to say to Baine, it would be for his chiefy ears alone, not for anyone else. That's what I meant."

I somehow doubted that, but she did have a right to handle it her way. It was her life on the line, her mission, her contacts.

"Just…" she sighed, "Get me past the Bluffwatchers and I'll do my good girl thing." She drew a cross over her heart with a finger, "Pathfinder's honor."

We finished rinsing off, then climbed out of the water, dried, dressed ourselves. I picked up my large knapsack. Mey insisted on carrying something.

I wasn't having it, "At least one of us should have their hands free to defend us."

She was sharp, "From what? What's happened?"

"Defend us from anything else stupid that might happen on the plain. Harpies, prarie stalkers, you know the drill."

"Turaho, I know you're hiding something."

"Here, you take my gun. Look at that—you get to dual-wield guns, you look like a real hot chick."

Mey wasn't amused by it. Her eyes kept following me as I picked up the last of my things.

Then, she whispered, "…Think he's gone?"

"Who?"

"Let's just be upfront about this. What did the Night Elf say to you? I knew he was there. I just didn't want to get in the way."

"Did you eavesdrop?"

"A little. I guess that's what I'm admitting to now, yeah."

Maybe I should have reacted in some way to her admission. I didn't, "Mey, do you think I'm being stupid for saying no to him? He wanted to help. He was truly scared, I could tell by the end."

"He really is in the Alliance, Turaho. We're Horde."

Somehow, though, I was beginning to think life wasn't so simple as that. Don't get me wrong, it used to be. It really did use to be, for me.

"Look, Turaho. Kael'thas hasn't done anything yet because he can't. He won't do anything to that… Alessandre or to us while we're all here in Mulgore. Don't worry. I'm sure the Night Elf rogue will just crawl back under the rock he came from. Slither back under the earth and into Ashenvale. He has his own backup plans, of course. He didn't need you. He was just trying to play you, like you said."

"Yeah, it didn't feel right."

"And what kind of friend uses you as a meat shield anyway?"

Well, we would have been using one another, but that wasn't the point. She and I needed to get on with our day. Especially when Alessandre might have been sticking around, listening.

The Great Plain was sunny, clear, perfect. No sign of menacing Elves or that snowstorm on the day Greatfather Winter disappeared. It was cold, but not by much. I wanted to hold Mey's hand, but she already her hands full with my gun.

Well, I didn't mean it that way, but a hot Tauren lady with a gun has always been one of my best turn ons. And now she was carrying two.

I smiled at her again. She was rare, she was wonderfully frustrating. She was so close to being mine. So how long were we really going to do this dance together? I cursed the fact that I was going off to Silvermoon so soon. What she and I always needed was some solid time together. A real, honest talk. Now we were being robbed of that. No, the Blood Elves were robbing me of that. And I was just taking it like a mug.

Another thing, wasn't I supposed to be a new man? I was now a Sunwalker, capable of saving lives, souls. So I couldn't even fix the one thing in my life that I cared about the most? How could I keep lying to myself about Mey? Mom was gone, Zoca was gone... Mey was still here.

"You know, when I get back, Mey…" I lost my courage for a second. Then the immediacy of the situation, the danger in the air, the deceptiveness of a perfect day that could go wrong any moment, that finally pushed me. "We should set a date. I'll come back with a ring. I'll leave you to think about it while I'm gone."

"What? Did you just—" She began laughing, but it was in a good way. I smiled with relief.

"I would marry you in a shot." She smiled so beautifully, I could have fallen over. "But we would be fighting all the time."

"We'd have a better reason than ever to make up. And stay made up."

"Marriage doesn't fix everything, Turaho."

"You're mine." I closed in. "Mission or no mission. Silvermoon, Thousand Needles or not. I say we're doing this."

"Are you ordering me to marry you? Should I say yes to your… masterful command?"

"Yes."

"I'd be a bad wife. A very, very bad wife."

"Who enjoys getting her spankings."

We stopped walking. I realized May was waiting to be kissed.

Everything melted away. It was raunchy and yet heartfelt. Just what I like. Perfect.

And then it was blazing.

"What is going on?" Mey parted from me, looked to our right.

A grove of trees in the plain were on fire. And that isn't even putting it well enough… they could have been doused with a Goblin oil drum. I clenched my teeth, imagining those trees screaming for their lives. The blaze got loud and angry, it spiraled up high above the foothills we had just come from. The Bluffwatchers would have been able to see it from where they were.

And fire usually catches, on a twig, a leaf, then climbs up, hand over hand, tendril over tendril. That patch of earth was… soaked, is the best way I can put it. Just smothering with flame and smoke. The air around was getting hazy, it was so hot. I could barely see through to the actual problem. I'd never seen anything in the countryside burn in this way.

What the hell had done something like that?

Then the sun flashed in my eyes. Meydiri bumped into my satchel from behind, she was making us stand back-to-back, an old Pathfinder strategy. Then I barely heard her cock my shotgun. She had hooves spread and both guns out, sneering. Her excited tail swiped mine. Someone was there, right ontop of us.

I dropped the bags in my hands and reached for the mace at my belt. I felt worse than useless. All that sudden sunlight, we were soaked in it. So much light was a typical move similar to a rogue's smokebomb. My heart raced when I realized how ripe for it we both were. We'd stopped ourselves in the middle of the danger zone, we were completely distracted. Something had already attacked, that was what had destroyed the tree and we were next. Worse, Mey and I had decided to stand there and fight a powerful unknown, instead of going for cover. The final moments of a lot of dead Horde soldiers read like that. Even the best eventually got tested.

I saw the enemy before I understood how terrible he truly was. A translucent face, moving through light and time and space, at the speed of magic. Green eyes, no emotion. A passive death mask. He looked at me. No, Kael'thas mostly noticed me. In the fast heat of the battle, I was only seeing, barely able to believe or think it through all the way. I was looking right at Kael'thas Sunstrider himself through a mage's blink spell that was so fast and powerful that it popped my ears. And he was ignited in a way that terrified me. Living beings just weren't supposed to be able to do that to themselves. But he had done it. Kael'thas was a pure shard of the sun in that moment. His magic singed the hair on my knuckles. Instinctively, I raised my hands to defend myself. But raw fear of flame ran through me instead. I dropped my mace and recoiled.

I looked down to see if I was burning. I looked up again, I supposed, to feel myself or Meydiri be struck down next and killed.

He was gone.

All that in one flash of sun. So that's how he'd cloaked himself. That was how Kael'thas had sneaked all around Mulgore. I grabbed hold of Meydiri. She was alright, but startled like I was.

"Look! Over there!" She shouted at me.

I tried to see through the hazy heat, to the burning trees. Smoke had wafted up in a mushroom plume. But close to the ground, among the red-orange blaze, was the shape of a man struggling forward, step after step. It was hard for the eyes to focus on him alone, because he was on fire and there was so much flame. The man was shouting in the way I had only heard Night Elf men cry out, in the heat of fighting. When gored, when maimed. It was Alessandre.

Kael'thas had finally got him, in the worst possible way.


	13. Move 'em out, rawhiiide!

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : You wouldn't BELIEVE all the things that have happened since I last posted. I'm not sure if I can tell you yet, but I'll fill you in as soon as I can. I've been up to a lot of fun projects, some of which you -might- be able to experience in-game if you still play. I'm going to see how many chapters I have semi-ready, then polish 'em off and post them ASAP to make up for being away so long. Enjoy!

Oh, and don't hit me but... I also started a really fancy Nightborne fanfic. I don't know if it'll go up here or someplace else. I'll let you know. (If you've been counting, that's 4 in-progress fanfiction stories going on all at the same time. Eesh!)

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Mooove 'em out, rawhide!**

I ran to save the Night Elf.

"Stop!" Meydiri cried, "What are you even going to do? You'll burn, yourself! And what if Kael comes back to finish the job when he sees you helping?"

That was a very sinister turn of thought for Meydiri. I looked at her, horrified. She yelled at me again, as I stumbled forward and ended up dragging her with me. Mey dug her hooves into the grass. She screamed for me to stop and think.

"He was never going to help you! Can't you see that it could have been you, or me? That's what Alessandre wanted, for you to take that hit instead of him—"

"I could have stopped it! We three could have crossed the plain together."

"Turaho, we would have been leading an assassin, a Kal'dorei murderer, into Thunderbluff. We couldn't do that!"

I stood there, unable to believe this was truly happening. She took the chance to race out in front of me, helped me pick up my mace and two satchels again.

"Look, honey. Here. Let's get your things. You see the Bluffwatchers coming, don't you?"

I looked. The Bluffwatchers were finally coming down. They had kodos and water buckets.

"They're distracted, Turaho. This is your chance to get me past the guards, get me safe to Chief Baine. Isn't that what you wanted?"

I staggered backward. She put a hand at the center of my chest, helping me to take big steps away.

Finally, I came to, "Come on, Mey."

"Good. You go. Go on. Get us out of here, sweetheart."

I took her hand and we went as fast as we could, while weighed down with all my stuff.

Kael'thas' eerily calm face came to mind again and again, though. Why? Because the damage had been done. Kael'thas had accomplished what he came halfway around the world to do.

He'd killed the man sent to assassinate him.

And he'd sure as hell sent a horrifying message to Darnassus about it, ontop of that. Now, there was no place their agents could plot about him and be safe. None.

But how could Al be gone? Truly gone. Funny, annoying, contemplative, a kind of mentor and yes, oddly warm at times… Dead? Truly, dead. Just like that? And Alessandre had been trying to warn me about how ruthless Kael'thas could be. Help keep me safe. Keep us both safe and alive. And Meydiri. Alessandre had wanted life. That was all. Alessandre even claimed he wanted to take out Kael'thas, in order to preserve lives.

Then again, maybe that was the point. I never learned Al's lesson.

Now it was all on me. Me alone against Kael'thas.

I was in a haze for the rest of the day. It was like the air was oven-hot again, all around me. I couldn't breathe as well as I wanted or fully see through it, to other people. Maybe I just didn't want to see anyone, anymore.

Mey and I made it to Chief Baine. It was easier, with there being an emergency down in the plain and all the Bluffwatchers being nervous about that.

Baine was more sensitive, more understanding than I'd seen him these last few days. More worried about the state of 'the herd' than usual. So all the tension over Mey (whatever she and him had fallen out about two years ago) and whatever Baine assumed I'd heard about him and Saturna and the scrying orb, it faded away.

Baine agreed to help Mey without much of my assisting with the conversation, it turned out. I couldn't manage it, I really couldn't. I kept seeing Kael'thas, fire, Alessandre screaming for his life.

I guess Baine mistook it for deep concern on Mey's part. I suppose our chieftan could have never assumed I was this shaken up about a dead Night Elf assassin.

Mey did some fast-talking about Thousand Needles and the Twilight Cultists. I watched Baine be drawn in, look truly mournful, then concede. Mey was energetic, almost smiling with relief that he was going along with it. Was that wrong of her? Well, she needed the support. It was two years' worth of weight being lifted off of her shoulders. I didn't really hear any of it.

Baine nodded, "Meydiri, this is all very compelling and I'm sorry Thunderbluff could not have assisted you sooner. You really have been covering that one assignment for a long time." He looked up, resolute. "We will bring it to an end."

"Hardly anything ever scares me, Baine." Meydiri insisted, but then her voice faltered with emotion, "But… I guess I can't believe I'm really being welcomed back with open arms, just like that. You and I had the worst disagreement before…"

I watched Meydiri carefully tuck away her true feelings again. Like she was afraid to really indulge being herself. It hit me, then. Mey was miserable. No one was supposed to notice how she suffered. I wanted to take her aside, and maybe I should have. Instead, I stood there wondering if I had the energy, without breaking down myself.

She settled on, "Baine, I'm moved. Thank you."

I heard myself saying, "Meydiri needs to get out of there—"

Mey shushed me, gave me some look that I was too freaked out to read properly. It was easier then to just withdraw back inside of my own clouded mind.

Baine gripped my shoulder meaningfully, then gave me another stiff nod. "Rest easy, Turaho. She'll be safe, I promise you. I'll put one my best Pathfinders on it."

Then, a little pang of nostalgia. That used to mean me.

"You alright, Turaho?"

"…Yeah. I always have been before."

After, Baine reminded me that Queen Saturna and the zeppelin out of Mulgore were waiting. Ugh… welcome back to the new me.

Mey took my hand and pulled us away a few paces to talk.

"You really don't look okay, Turaho. Please tell me you're not going to mourn that shifty Night Elf."

I wasn't sure what to say.

"Well." But she wasn't saying anything, either. Mey looked down at our hooves together, momentarily. "After hearing what I said to Baine, it wouldn't be right for me to hold you… you know, to what you were starting to say out there."

All my senses were dull. But then it occurred to me that our scant chance together might slip away again if I didn't straighten up.

"No, no, no—I meant what I said on the plain. I am coming home to you with a ring."

"You don't have to do it. I'm so-"

"Yes I do. I want you, Mey." I hugged her, then I kissed her. "In a few days, I'll be my old self. Silvermoon… Eversong Woods has trees and rivers, doesn't it? What else have I ever needed to recoup myself than a nice, long, lonely walk? Or a few."

"Or a hundred."

"This is my mission. I will not fail. And I am coming home. You will _be_ my home, Meydiri."

She held the sides of my face. Then she shook her head and teared up.

She whispered, "I love you, too."

"And this secret you have, whatever it is… When I come back to Thunderbluff, it becomes part of the past."

"You shouldn't say that."

"I know what I am saying. You are going to get the help you need in Thousand Needles. And I will get back here to be by your side as soon as I can. I promise. I'm not marrying anyone else, how could I? You made fun of my instinct before, but this time it really is killing me. I need you, Mey. Wait, are you the one who's scared to do it now? What changed?"

She looked away, anxious. That fire was hard on both of us, I was sure of it then. Maybe Mey had just been putting up a tough front for me. Maybe for her, being a good member of the Horde meant not caring when someone in the Alliance experienced a gruesome death. The Alliance probably faced the same damned burden. That's war.

"Mey." When I spoke, she looked at me again. I saw that she had been crying. "Please, promise to at least think it over?"

"If I write to you, Turaho, will you actually write me back this time?"

I made a face, but then I reassured her that I would make the time.

Then I fumbled around in my pockets. I had to have something to give the poor girl. No time to run around on the middle rise, frantically going from the auction house to the bank in order to find something precious I couldn't afford or had stowed away.

"Here." I honestly didn't know what it was when I offered it to Mey. Just that it was ring-shaped and had slipped down my index finger, so it was sure to fit one of hers.

It was a broken off gun trigger part. Gods, my mother was right about me never ever cleaning out my pockets. It must have been from my time in Ashenvale or something, when there was no safe place to toss it out and not have some Night Elf spy notice an intruder was around. This one was different. The trigger had jammed, so I'd been messing with it and broke it off with the ring attached. Well, that was embarrassing.

But Mey was the kind of lady to love having a token of death and destruction on her hand. She smiled and slipped it right down her middle finger, waggled it proudly at me. Just right for a Tauren hand. Well, she was my kind of girl, too.

A final, long goodbye kiss. "I will think about your offer very carefully while I wear this, Turaho. I promise."

"And I promise that will think about that hot tail of yours, very carefully."

Mey swatted me, but then she let me reach down and have her tail slip through my fingers one last time.

After that, I was off.

Saturna and all the other Bloodknights were already on the zeppelin. A few were lingering on the bridge over, keeping an eye out. They took my bags when I approached and stowed them, which was almost a shock. How nice of them and not snooty at all!

But it also meant they were dead serious about getting the fel out of there. Some surprise, after the way their fearless leader had just behaved. I hoped Kael'thas wasn't hiding in some locked closet on the zeppelin. Then again… I suppose, if I was him and had the ability to go from city to city at the speed of magic, I would have booked it all the way to Pandaria by then or something.

"Move 'em out!"

The whistle blew and Goblins scurried around, untying ropes and bashing wrenches at pipes and joints of the metalworks—I learned from Fitzsprocket that some Goblins know it doesn't actually mean they're fixing something, but they like their supervisors to assume they're staying busy. As for the supervisors? They're not stupid at all, they just enjoy watching their put upon minions squirm.

I didn't see Saturna right away. She was below deck most likely and I was still in that mist. I was free to worry again without Mey there. What had I done? What had I caused? Al only wanted my help. So I helped Mey instead, but not Al? In a way, Al had been a lot nicer to me over the last few days than Mey had been in the last few years of our on-again-off-again romance. Which was doubly weird since Al was a killer by trade.

Look. I know how that sounds.

I then heard familiar footfalls come near. Saturna joined me. She stood closeby, also watching Mulgore and then the Southern Barrens go by beneath us.

I didn't even know what I was saying, "…I met your husband."

Her fingers tightened on the rope. One of so many others that helped buoy up the deck and keep it attached to the hot air balloon above us. It looked like a masterwork of shoddy Venture Co. engineering in my eyes, but hey.

Saturna whispered, "I didn't know that Kael'thas was even here. I ran into him last night, at the party. He and I had a bad fight about precisely that."

Funny. I didn't feel so sympathetic anymore.

Saturna turned to me. Her silhouette was, well… right up against the scene the golden Barrens floating by at an exciting pace. I tried to think of Mey instead. Wrong move. I uh… just ended up wishing Saturna had a tail.

"Turaho, Kael'thas really, really wasn't supposed to be here. The thing is, he and I didn't leave things so well when I rushed to Mulgore. I believe—I _know_ he was very upset about me coming. And he was worried about us. However, Kael'thas also nearly threw my credibility right out the window when he arrived! In fact, if Baine ever finds out Kael'thas started that fire on the plain, it will incinerate my standing with Thunderbluff."

I didn't offer to help her, this time.

"Oh, Turaho. He's a beast when he's roused. I am sorry if Kael'thas frightened you."

"No, I admire it." The sarcasm was leaking in, big time, "Not every man can portal to Thunderbluff to patch things up with his adoring wife and then round that off by killing someone in cold blood."

"…What?"

"Kael'thas killed him. He killed Alessandre."

Saturna gripped the rope with her other hand, too. She then held her whole body against it.

We went on in silence for a while. The Crossroads, at the heart of the Barrens, was starting to appear on the horizon.

Saturna cussed under her breath, then took a step back from the edge. She shook her head, "If that is true, then we'll be hearing from Malfurion and Tyrande, soon. Possibly even Illidan."

"They wouldn't go all the way to Silvermoon."

"You wanna bet?"

"Don't you feel bad about what happened to Alessandre? The least bit guilty?"

"This is war. I know that's not helpful. But whatever feelings I have about Kael'thas going rogue and protecting our family, and destroying another man in the process… I can't afford to be too empathetic for long. I can't, Turaho. Kael'thas, you, me, we all have enemies. And they are waiting for us to let our guard down, precisely like that."

I lay my head back. I was sure I couldn't hear any more about how 'he's Alliance, we're Horde.' It was starting to feel so pointless. At the end of the day, an infuriating, but (in a weird way) a fine and decent man had been killed. His only real problem was that he was a Night Elf, and Alessandre could hardly make up for what he'd been born.

I had been talking to him, laughing with him just an hour ago. Then I saw him walking in flame like some nightmare, smelled his flesh burning. I could barely think it, let alone speak of it any longer.

Saturna looked off into the distance, "Well, if you saw his corpse then I can't blame you. That will stay with you for your whole life, trust me, I know. I've seen my share of bloodshed in Outland, and in Silvermoon before, when Arthas came. You sort of grow with it. It becomes a real part of you. I… won't be so cold to say that it makes you stronger. But it imbues you with something. Like sharpening a sword."

"Thankfully, I didn't see his corpse, Saturna. There was so much fire. Mey was good, she wouldn't let me go all the way in."

Saturna turned halfway toward me.

I blinked at her, "What?"

"Turaho, I'm not saying that I'm glad, but our Night Elf friend might not be dead."

"I saw Kael'thas—"

"Why don't we… take things slowly. Let's see how things are first, before we start building war memorials in the Golden Plain, or in front of the Sunspire, to fallen Night Elf rogues." She smirked, but then that wilted when she knew better, "Sometimes, Kael'thas misses." She swallowed, "And sometimes, he even misses on purpose. With precision. I'll have to ask him when we get back. I'm sure Kael'thas wants an in-person visit from Malfurion and Tyrande, especially now, even less than you and I do. He certainly never wants to see Illidan again, if he can help it. Which would make more sense. I was so sure my husband didn't make idiotic mistakes like that anymore, dropping an obvious fire-bomb where Baine could see it. I mean, Kael'thas really is off of most of the things he was taking back then."

She meant while he was in Outland. So, Kael'thas was still on drugs maybe. Whoopee.

"…Probably, Kael'thas was just trying to scare Alessandre away."

"By… BLOWING HIM UP?!"

"And what's with you getting engaged all of a sudden? So you don't want to flirt with me anymore?"

"How do you know about that? That just happened! And why are we changing the subject? Another thing, Saturna—why are you married to a man who casually blows people up when he can just tell them off, or at least send them a hate letter in the mail? Kael'thas ups it to suffering by explosion instead of hurt feelings and the good chance of a papercut?"

Saturna walked up and kissed my cheek. "Shame. I thought you and I really had something."

"But, at the party you said—"

"I'd watch out, if I were you. These things crumble so easily long-distance. And you're going to be surrounded by a lot of temptation in my homeland. You're really going to go and get married before having a good time with some of the most beautiful women on the planet?"

"I…" Crap. I had forgotten about that part. The dreaded Elf booty. It was going to be everywhere.

Saturna hugged me, "Hang in there, tiger. You've still got all your stripes, haven't you?"

"What does that even mean-"

"Also, I meant to tell you… When we reach Orgrimmar, we're not portaling straight to Silvermoon." She gripped the rope again, placed a hand on her hip and stretched her back in an annoyingly distracting way, "…for a reason. I need to take the long way home. I need a break from my husband, for obvious reasons. You are alright with that, aren't you? It means the investigation will be delayed, a tiny bit—"

"Try two weeks in a zeppelin and then on a ship. I don't think I can allow it. So that's why you've been buttering me up."

"But we'll be spending oh so much more time together."

"Hold on. I just got engaged. But… Are you inviting me to…?"

Then Saturna had this teasing look, that she had every intention of sussing out whether or not I had made a real commitment to Meydiri or not. She must have also thought it was some kind of just crusade on her part, for the sake womanity or something. Or, a challenge. Likely, for a Bloodknight, the morality and amorality of it comingled in some awful way.

I felt flushed, "So, you didn't want me before, but now you do want me because I'm getting married?"

"You know, Turaho, I've read plenty of adventure stories where the couple gets married before the handsome hero runs off to war. I would have waited for you and Mey to do that."

"Oh, I see. You're saying you don't think I meant it when I proposed? Because Mey and I were broken up for so long and we only spent one night together, and since I was going out of town, and we were afraid for our lives at the time, yadda yadda… Well, maybe I see your point. But that's a pretty big assumption when you don't even know Mey. She's very lovely-"

"Only Greatfather Winter truly knows when we've been naughty, Turaho. Tea is at two o'clock."

She waved prettily, and then jogged back down below deck.

It felt like the whole world was spinning. The only thing I was sure of? I dreaded finally meeting Kael'thas. For real. He had all the earmarks of one of those guys that other guys can't actually stand, but all the women love or love to hate. Add to that I had just watched him try and burn a man alive like some crazed Goblin mob boss, and not even be fazed by it.

That focused, emotionless Blood Elf face returned to mind once more. As if total and utter ruination of a mortal being was old-hat for Kael'thas. He could have pitched Silvermoon and the Horde into war with Darnassus over that—even the Night Elves were being more careful about potential assassination. Well, according to Alessandre.

If Al still existed.

While I was busy being horrified about all this, the Goblin captain of the ship resurfaced. He started whistling, and then the others started whistling and and winking at each other. Finally, they eased into a very annoying, and I would argue, offensive song once he and his crew were free and clear of Mulgore all our Tauren Bluffwatchers. In fact, it turned into some crappy impromptu off-Karazhan musical production with Goblins swinging across on ropes, banging their wrenches on the machinery in-time, jazz hands, and dancing a silly circle around me.

 _Move 'em out, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em out,  
Move 'em out, head 'em up, raw hide!_

 _Don't try and understand 'em,  
Just tackle, ticket and brand 'em,  
Move that Tauren gold and spend it, high and wiiiide!_

 _My Gobby girl is waitin' for me,  
Waitin' for me at the end a' my zeppelin riiiide!_

 _Move 'em out, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em out,  
Move 'em out, head 'em up, raw hide!_

 _Rake it in, rawhiiiiide! RAWHIIIIIIDE!_

Then, one of them cracked a whip out of nowhere. I flinched.

You see, I was the only one on deck at the time, and I'm a Tauren, so maybe that's what made them so comfortable with it. Bunch of arseholes.

Well, at least I could be sure that Kael'thas was not, in fact, hiding away on the shoddy Goblin zeppelin...

What a fire hazard that would be.


	14. Chaos Himself

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : So thrilled Kael'thas is finally here! Weee! I think I always squeal like this when there's a delay before he appears in the story. I have a problem, you know.

And so what was the title of part one of this fanfic? I think… "Dude, Where's My Oatmeal?" about covers it.

* * *

 **PART TWO: The Devil Went Down to Silvermoon**

" _My name is Turaho and I'll take your bet, cause I'm the best there's ever been!"_

…

 **Chapter 14: Chaos, Himself**

Since watching Kael'thas burn another man alive was my first real experience with him, by the time we got to Silvermoon, I felt sick.

I usually travel well. I usually complain about zeppelins (for more reasons than their Goblin crews putting on annoying anti-Tauren dance numbers, with jazz hands), but for the most part, I've managed boats, speed-barges, wyverns, kodos, even a warhorse or two very well in my lifetime. But knowing that this terrifying man had already met me and we both knew it, that I was getting ready to question him, and then interrogate the people in what I supposed were his inner circle, those 'real' Bloodknights of Saturna's… And that all this was going to happen far, far away from home in Kalimdor where I had a network and solid connections with the authorities…

I'm supposed to be a seasoned investigator, but my nerves were getting to me by the time we got to Quel'thalas. My instinct, my body, wasn't having any of it. My hooves wanted to run. I just wanted to shut the whole mission down, right there, shout at Saturna that her husband was evil and get the hell out.

However, by this point, we had three more weeks to go before actual Winter's Veil. And Greatfather Winter was still missing. A lot of good little kids were not going to get their presents, then. Oh, and also, the old scam-you-for-the-holidays Dwarf might get what's coming to him.

Oh, how terrible. Can't have that.

What we really couldn't have, though, was Darnassus threatening to rip Silvermoon out of the Horde because of that old Dwarf. Only one man was able and, now, well-placed to prevent that.

"Turaho Runestalker," Saturna addressed me formally when our carriage rolled to a stop in front of what looked to me like the longest gangway, ever. Well, it was a red-carpeted bridge spanning the bottomless moat around the Sunspire (I was too afraid to ask how they'd managed that with magic), but the way the sparkling bridge up to the palace made me _feel_ was that I was about to walk the plank off of a pirate ship into shark infested waters.

And I'd already seen the great white. He was a man-eater.

"…Turaho?"

"Hrmph."

Saturna saw how I was, how I'd tensed up my shoulders and had crossed my arms. Big Tauren me filled up almost one side of the small Hawkstrider-drawn carriage while she was dainty and leaned neatly against an armrest on her side.

She tried again, "We're friends, aren't we?"

I looked at her in a way that sharply communicated I wasn't her little idiot. Or, big idiot.

Her voice softened, "Well, we've befriended one another somehow along the journey here. Actually, I think it started way back in Mulgore, right?"

She did have a point. Our zeppelin, and then the ocean voyage, was filled with speculations about Greatfather Winter, the Night Elves, including whether 'the Alessandre' was actually dead. But I didn't let us dwell on that for very long. We also somehow kept sliding into the same comfortable rapport I have with my female cousins. Saturna and I ended up joking and carrying on, pulling little pranks on each other. By the time we landed in the Eastern Kingdoms, I was so sure Saturna was dying for a good tickling (I don't mean anything else by that, I swear) but I also knew I'd never get away with it. Her Bloodknights were judgement as always, but they mostly kept it to themselves, this time. I swear they spent the entire journey preening their perfect hairstyles like a buncha fussy songbirds.

Okay, so one confession about the tickling-when we disembarked from the ship at Sunsail Anchorage, I did try for it and Saturna laughed wild! It was cute. Uh, I mean that she hopped a mile and hissed at me to stop, though her eyes and her smile said a lot different. She never seems like a queen to me these days.

But I'd guessed right. Saturna longed to finally relax and laugh her head off with someone. I wondered if Kael'thas ever let her do that?

Look, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm just observing this because Saturna let slip at supper one night that her 'real Bloodknights' would like me. And that was in front of her current Bloodknights, too. Ouch. Guess by that point in our journey, Saturna had come to the same conclusion that I had about her own soldiers. Annoying, useless, wasting her time and bringing her down. Good girl! Another point for her, if you ask me.

A part of me wished we didn't have to go to Silvermoon by the end of it.

Remembering all of that enabled me to uncross my arms, at least. I sighed out my frustration. Behind us, walking in a long caravan, were my kodo that I'd packed with my gear—I refused to let anyone else carry it—then the other Bloodknights all on their Thalassian chargers and carts with the rest of our supplies. Some Farstriders on their birds had joined us at the city gate, and by the time we got to the palace, a full entourage of Silvermoon City guard with their giant phoenix-wing shields had surrounded us on the street. They were able to form a sort of wall to keep out passerby. It did look pretty slick.

Regular folk (what passed for regular people in Silvermoon, covered in swirls and gold and magic on their fine clothes) had started to gather. Oh, they could gawp as good as any Tauren or Orcs in a Kalimdor city, but they arranged themselves more neatly I guess, and relegated their worse comments to whispers.

I had noted that the Farstriders and the city guard and the Bloodknights seemed to be competing to escort our carriage. They didn't work so well in concert, did they? I'd tuck that little detail away for later.

At last I admitted to Saturna, "Yes. We're allies."

"Good. So as long as we stay that way-and I'm sure we will, because I want us to—then Kael'thas won't bite you."

"Bite me?"

She looked down to tug her gauntlets on tighter, and see that other elements of her plate uniform were tidy. Now, it was her turn to be nervous.

"I think I tamed him, when we fell in love-"

"Was burning up a man in a conflagration, on impulse, a tame version of Kael'thas?!"

"That was a Night Elf man, a member of the Alliance."

I rolled my eyes. I was getting tired of hearing that. It was starting to feel like an excuse. Had the Horde always used this excuse? Well, if we were doing it, then the Alliance would have to be doing it, too.

"I'm not as fluff-headed as I seem, at times. I know I have a tendency to come off that way. I started out as a courtier, a…" she shook her head and dropped her shoulders, "A silly girl in a big fluffy dress raised like a prized cow to go be married off to royalty." Then, she glanced up at me, "No offense."

"None taken, as Tauren aren't _cows_." I arched an eyebrow.

She moved on quickly, "I had to grow up while we were fighting in Outland, fast. But this was always my context." She touched fingertips to the narrow window ledge. The city outside was glossy, brilliantly colored. Inside the carriage we were caught in weird angular slashes of sunlight or shadow that kept making me squint. "Beauty, hope, expectations for the greatest of mortal achievements in magic, in industry, in… society. Me fawning over my husband, sometimes glossing over his worst flaws, it isn't ignorance, Turaho. I've not been charmed by him." Her softly glowing green eyes found me again, "It's the other way around. The way he sees it, I saved _him_. And I did, I brought him back to all of this. Now we have a future, he and I have a real life together. I can and I have handled Kael'thas many times before. While you work here in Quel'thalas, I will be the one to keep you safe. I didn't take you away from your homeland for anything less, Turaho."

"So… you're the mouse that got the thorn out of the lion's paw?"

She liked that comparison.

"Well, it did help that, at the time, he was… very thorny." Saturna managed to ruin it. Of course.

I'm sure that I cringed. It was a bad joke and a pun ontop of that.

But now that I'm writing this, I think I do understand that it's just her personality. Saturna isn't squeaky clean herself, and she can't pretend to be. But it looks good on her. Whether I would admit it then or not, it did make her fun.

She knocked on the padded carriage wall and they opened the door for us. We saw stewards in large blonde wigs, white pantaloons (I kid you not), and bright red and gold livery lean down to unfold a miniature sparkling stair for us. My mouth was hanging open. Saturna gaily stepped out into the bright day.

"Well? It's time to see the wizard. Come on, Toto…"

"Hey! I'm the Tin Man at _best_!" when I followed, the whole carriage rocked. The Blood Elves in the street gasped and clapped like I was some circus side-show.

"But Turaho, you're so fuzzy!"

They were cheering and screaming for their queen by then. It felt strange to me. Saturna could have only left Silvermoon under a cloud. The bad news about Darnassus' accusations would have been everywhere, and full details about the incident in Thunderbluff with Greatfather Winter should have surfaced while she was gone. That was what Darnassus had got hot about. Then again, Saturna had returned with a big Tauren Sunwalker trailing loyally at her heels. All the Bloodknights were there, and in one piece, with their perfect hair to boot… Perhaps to the people of Silvermoon, it looked like their queen had already solved the problem.

Unless the Silvermoon newspapers had been a lot more, let's say 'kinder' (when I really want to say oppressive and rife with censorship) than the Kalimdor news. Possibly, it was a mix of both…

The glamourous mate to King Kael'thas Sunstrider has returned! The glorious Bloodknight Matriarch has subdued the Night Elf menace! The one who saved the Sunstrider line has wrangled the Tauren! All that jazz!

Saturna waved to them here and there, but she wasn't excited about the crowd, really. She'd stayed grounded, focused. Warm. She and I had started a fun conversation, she genuinely liked me, so she was going to finish it. Only the ones in our elect group heard Saturna and me geekily arguing about who was who in that old Toto-Dorothy-Tin Man fairy tale. She wanted to be Glenda the Good Witch, after she had a chance to think about it. My female cousins always made that same claim. I swear, it was the big white dress.

Looking back, that was one of the nicer conversations I had with the Queen of Quel'thalas. Saturna, if you're reading—no matter what that arshole you married does to the Night Elves, to the Silvermoon City newspapers, to the world… don't ever, ever stop being cute.

By the way, definitely Dorothy.

Walking up the red-carpeted ramp to the Sunspire with all the Silvermoon City Guards saluting us all was something to see. It actually took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to all the red and gold. It was kind of like living inside of a fiery orange gelatin mold.

The air even smelt sweet, a bit like… cupcakes? Some kind of sugar. Saturna corrected me and said that it was arcane magic.

"Okay, so… I totally don't understand how you guys didn't know you had a racial addiction. It's like… in the air."

"I know—"

"It's in the AIR, Saturna. And you didn't know that it might just maybe be a problem?"

I guess in my own way, I was flirting with her again. I figured out that the two of us had a sweet spot. If I made fun of her or the Blood Elves, or her Bloodknights, she usually let me get away with it. And she liked being called silly. I didn't understand why. I enjoyed it, though.

Saturna had what the Elves call 'breeding' and what I call bad manners—you know, coming into my hut as if she was choosing a wine, rather than an actual person to help her, making me carry her cloak that time, putting on those kinds of airs. But at least I could see the other side of it. Saturna had used all that to protect herself. Come into the room acting like the better person and you get treated that way. She was a queen, after all. She couldn't ask people to respect her. However, once you got past the whole vain Elf thing, she was actually pretty down to earth.

"So, when do we get rid of the pouf troop?"

"The who?" Then, we were inside of the castle, proper. The cheering crowds dulled. Reverent silence welled up around us as we passed royal tapestries and ancient statues. Only sharp salutes from the palace guards remained. Those echoed.

Saturna eyed me, she knew who I was talking about. She wasn't going to dignify my insult to her black-and-red, mean little ducklings with an answer.

I had an eerie feeling, then. The giggling girl-next-door who sneaked up on me while we were on the zeppelin, and poured corn kernals down the back of my shirt? Now that we were properly back, she was gone.

Another thing confused me, too. After we arrived at the Sunspire, I hoped the rest of our entourage would sort of peel off of us, and then I'd never see those Firewater-guzzling suck ups ever again. But they were still following us everywhere. Saturna kept hinting that there were other (and better) people she usually did everything with, true Bloodknights that she depended on. It's just that they couldn't travel with her to Thunderbluff at the drop of a hat.

I wondered how busy and important those higher-ranked Bloodknights must be if they couldn't answer a summons from their queen? How exactly did that work? If Chief Baine wants something, I pretty much have to do it and he's our chieftan, not a king-on-high. This whole mission being a case-in-point.

We arrived at the end of a very long corridor with a high, vaulted ceiling. Deeper inside the palace, everything stopped being so bright and red-gold. It became dark, luxurious, royal purple. Arcane crystal chandeliers dazzled as we passed beneath.

We entered the throne room. My heart leapt into my throat. Everyone else knew what to do. I just pretended I did. We arranged ourselves in a half-circle. My eyes were still adjusting to the not-light… It might be a day or two before I was really sure of myself in this new country. I almost tripped over Saturna because she had been walking beside me, but then suddenly cut in front. One of her Bloodknights put a hand on my sleeve to show me that I was meant to stay behind. The queen was going on ahead, alone. It was odder than anything. I felt seriously weird, wishing I could stay at her heels. I suppose dogs feel that way about their masters.

Wait…

Okay, I didn't just say that about myself. I was just enjoying the ah, security of being nearby someone who knew this end of the mission so well.

I tried to think of Mey. Poor Mey, who didn't have me. I already owed Mey a letter, didn't I? I could see Mey already, squinting an eye at me, digging a hoof into the ground. Pointing out to me that I had several opportunities at dozens of mailboxes already.

While Saturna greeted courtiers around us, I looked for Kael'thas and anyone else I might recognize.

In the old days, Kael'thas had a shifty monocled old advisor, named Sorn. His henchman in everything. Sorn would have made an excellent witness if he could have been turned against his sovereign and Kael'thas forced to undergo a Garrosh-style trial in Pandaria. Authorities never made it around to that, though. And Saturna said Sorn had got married to Lady Liadrin and retired, right? No Sorn.

Alright, try again. New Horde intel said there was an even more terrifying fellow, with old Burning Legion connections. I recognized Chief Advisor Faltheriel Darkweaver right away. He just oozed ill-will. Blonde, attractive I guess, but in a shady sort of way. He could have been a cultist. Mey would have liked him, known exactly how to dismantle him. Faltheriel was dressed elegantly in a three-piece suit with a cravat at his throat and a row of black silk buttons down his vest. But he was also looking dead at me like he'd been the one advised against opening fire right at me with a gruesome shadow bolt.

There were also several ministers I'd read about in the newspapers over my lifetime. Some more recently appointed than others. Head of the Farstriders, Halduron Brightwing, was standing next to Faltheriel. Rommath was on the other side. I looked, almost eagerly for Lor'themar Theron, who had held things together during Kael'thas' time in Outland. Many people liked him, he came off as reasonable and diplomatic without getting too political—very rare quality in a leader. He made people feel safe, polar opposite to the way Kael'thas liked to manage things with his newspapers full of lies and racing halfway across the world to handle would-be assassins with his bare, fiery hands. For a while, many in the Horde hoped Lor'themar would remain regent and just sort of take over while Kael'thas obviously enjoyed moonlighting in obscurity more than being at home.

But, as fate would have it, Kael'thas did not end up a looted corpse at the end of some dungeon. Lucky us.

I didn't recognize Kael'thas at first because he looked like the exact opposite of all those statues in the city, and what I remembered in the Golden Plain was a spectre, a cruel death mask on a fleeting, terrifying figure, blinking back into a painful magical spell.

He was not as large as a city building, for instance, but a pretty normal height. Not even tall. And Kael'thas wasn't wearing these seething red and gold robes with a lion's mane of blonde hair.

I mean, it had been blonde. That was obvious. But for some reason right now, Kael'thas hair was streaked with dark. Aside from some locks combed down to frame his jaw I think, the rest was braided together in an impossibly complex pattern that I got dizzy trying to keep track of. Much of that disappeared down behind his back. And he was wearing pale blue. In fact, Kael'thas was wearing pants. He had a wide sash around his waist, with a ceremonial sword I was sure he would never use as a Bloodmage. He had broad shoulders and very regal facial features. Like he'd been carved from marble. So, statuesque in a way.

His whole court was wearing shades of blue in that very empurpled room, surrounded by low braziers on all sides. Funny, the hookahs on small tables, here and there, looked natural, though they should have been out of place in such a regal setting. But Kael'thas, now that I recognized him, stood almost in relief, like the rest were pen-and-paper drawings of people. It was in his authoritative stance, and the compelling color he had chosen to wear while everyone else matched the curtains. (Or is it true that royals dictate to the whole court what they should wear? If so, then he was worse than vain.)

Annoying. But that is what I saw. Honestly, it was also impressive. They all looked very sophisticated, like they knew Kael'thas was definitely in charge and together, they all meant business.

My ears perked up. No, my instinct told me that this was theatre. Kael'thas was about to play some scene. For who? I was the only one new to the game. I felt my fist tightening.

Now was the time for Silvermoon's queen to meet her husband again. I watched Saturna slow down when she was close enough to really see her husband.

We were announced by the head steward, but after that, everything was strikingly quiet. Especially between husband and wife. Only her footfalls. Only his gaze, looking over her mattered now. So icy.

But Saturna claimed she had tamed the lion?

Looks like he'd got out of his cage.

Kael'thas had one hand behind his back. The other he offered to her now, offering to broach the final distance between them. Remember now, this man is in an astonishing amount of trouble with his wife.

Instead of going any further, Saturna stopped. She clearly didn't like being ordered. Kael'thas had his hand out as if she belonged to him. He wanted her at his side and he acted if she knew better than to keep him waiting.

Worse, "You've done well." He said.

As if it was his mission, his decision, not hers. As if going to Thunderbluff was not something she controlled at all, and he was going to decide whether or not they were finished with what he clearly regarded was her little game.

I put my hand on my mace. I made it look like an easy gesture, like I was just resting it.

Saturna looked back at me, rather than greet her husband at long last. She didn't have to say, 'Did you just hear him speak to me like that?' I nodded once, that I sure as hell hadn't missed it.

Saturna's smile for Kael'thas was an angry one, "May I present Turaho Runestalker. He will be investigating _you_." That echoed. Kael'thas could have flinched. I wasn't sure. Maybe he hid it well.

I made my bow fast. I had to, I almost laughed really hard at Kael'thas, then.

Kael'thas let his hand drop. He used a thumb to crack each of his knuckles.

Saturna turned and looked around the entire court, making eye contact with several people. I noted who, hoped I'd remember each of the faces.

"Sunwalker Turaho has come all the way from Kalimdor, in good faith, to interview the ones who have been unjustly accused. And he may need other support from us while he is here. What he requires will be up to him."

She put it very well, that I was about to be the boss of that lot. Kael'thas hated it, I could feel him seething from where I was.

However, whether unjust accusations had been made, that was for me to decide. Though I wasn't going to mince words with Saturna about that important detail now. Again.

"He can't represent the entire Horde, Saturna." Now that Kael'thas had found a way to complain, others felt entitled to do the same. Conversation raced around the room.

"He may as well be Warchief Sylvanas, standing right in front of us. Because if we fail here, it will go directly to her."

Now that shut up a lot of people.

Kael'thas gave her this incredulous look all of a sudden, 'Uh, honey—what have you DONE this time? You're supposed to be on my side!'

She put a hand on her hip. Of course they couldn't out and say it but she was practiced in giving the same sort of looks back at him, 'Nobody's _that_ hot, Kael'thas, that they get to ruin my career!'

We all watched them face off, without saying anything. It was starting to be fun.

' _Saturna! Get over here!'_

' _NO! You come and stand with me, Kael'thas. And why aren't you saying hello to Turaho?'_

' _Do I look like I got up, had my hair done for hours, put on this sexy suit, only for you to show me up like this? And in my own castle?!'_

' _Oh go jump off a phoenix!'_

' _That's rich, coming from the person who couldn't wait to jump ON my phoenix, first chance she got!'_

I swear, I almost heard that as if they had actually said it with their mouths, not just their eyes in this intense face-off. It felt like one of them was going to yell at the other, any moment now.

And I heard Al's voice in my mind again, telling me that the two of them weren't right. That they were a feuding couple. He was so right about them, it almost hurt.

So, the hair, the suit, his rude 'tude, this was how Kael'thas intended to make up for going to Thunderbluff and not trusting her at all? Good fecking luck.

Should I intervene before things escalated and they made it impossible for me to do my job?

And I wondered what Saturna would do or say to Kael'thas once they were finally alone. I was a big, tough Tauren and I was intimidated from all the way over where I was standing. Saturna had certainly already yelled at Kael'thas, back at Bloodhoof Village. I wondered if she'd slapped Kael'thas as well. It must have been a very bad fight. I didn't take Saturna to be the dramatic sort to fly into a tantrum. If she did knock him down a notch, then Kael'thas probably managed to deserve it. He probably made a bad comment about her… virtue. We'll put it that way. That's usually the basic line not to cross with a lot of women. Sorry, I meander and think about the little things a lot. It usually keeps me prepared for the next bad thing that's about to happen…

Don't laugh, but… I had this feeling that Saturna wanted a big hug. A hug from her husband, I mean. It was um… why she had probably been teasing me so much. I did realize that after a while, that it wasn't actually about me. Kael'thas, however, expected Saturna to jump all over him. She wanted to greet as equals, he wanted to re-assert his dominance like their marriage was a damn wolfpack. I did everything but smack my forehead, and a few other fellow males beside me sort of cringed like they wanted to do the same on his behalf.

How long had they been married again? How many children had they raised together?

Kael'thas stood back, lifted his chin like he was the only adult in their relationship, and like it was a great honor for her to be back in his mighty presence.

It wasn't exactly an apology.

"I…" Saturna winced and looked Kael'thas over again. Well, they were married, she was a grown woman after all and he didn't exactly look like a puddle of mush. And Kael'thas knew it, too. I think he finally smiled back. But then Saturna took an irritated breath, and she was wiley, "I command all of you to cooperate with the Tauren while he is in our lands. Do this Quel'thalas and for your queen, in the spirit of good-will with our allies."

And then the hammer came down. She went to Kael'thas, to look up at him and make sure that he got the message. That was all. She didn't touch him.

The she marched past Kael'thas in his fine outfit and left him standing. He stubbornly refused to watch her go.

All the males in the throne room let out a breath. Uh… so it could have been worse?

I just… stared. It was so awful for him. I was afraid to look out of place, moreso than a Tauren man could in the Sunspire. Some Blood Elves were grinning, like Kael'thas was fun entertainment whenever he screwed up. But no one uttered a word against him.

Kael'thas finally addressed me, "Welcome to Silvermoon."

His voice, full-on, gave me shivers. Somewhere in my brain I had decided that Kael'thas was a vampire and he was going to eat me. I needed to get rid of all that, fast, or it'd show. Really, I couldn't keep track of all the headgames going on here... I kept wondering that I'd step into a trap. I attempted to read him, the room, everything. Too much information. I needed to calm down, but that felt like another weakness...

"King Kael'thas." I bowed again. Guess that was a safe thing to keep doing.

But Kael'thas was waiting impatiently for me to finish all that. I came over to him.

He said, loud enough for everyone, "It's good to have you here."

Wow, he was a liar. I didn't mean to be on right then, in my investigator mode, reading him. But I picked it up fast.

He lowered his voice, "But can I get very honest with you, very fast?"

Ironic.

"… I would like to get the fel out of here and have a drink. How about you?"

Now, that was the truth. Hrm. Refreshing.

Of course, I agreed. Now, don't get any ideas. I think I just put my dread and dislike for Kael'thas behind my love of good alcohol.

I couldn't resist, "My cousin says the night life here is incredible. But everyone drinks champagne?"

A drink. Simple enough, I figured at the time. But Kael'thas grinned like a lynx, only too happy for me to fall for it.


	15. Champagne and Rudeness

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : I kind of love how crappy this first take at a chapter title was. It's like I was drinking (champagne, even) when I wrote it. Left it that way.

* * *

 **Chapter 15: Champagne and Rudeness**

Kael'thas set up our whole evening, lightning fast. "We're going, then. Faltheriel—"

Kael'thas said this to the man I noticed before, who looked very spooky indeed, close up. And he bowed low to Kael'thas like he was the king of the world, not just that corner of it.

"Your will be done, my master. You shall not be disturbed, tonight."

His… master?

Faltheriel sized me up, reading my evident reaction. And, he was wearing dark eyeliner.

Wait… why?

But then he was gone.

Kael'thas and I, and a few guards, went in the other direction. We walked down a long, decorated corridor. I watched him run a shaking hand through his hair, or try to. But he had it braided back pretty tightly and couldn't do what he was used to, when he was feeling off or nervous, I bet.

Then, he observed me while we were walking together.

"Is that what Sunwalkers wear?"

"Yes, your majesty."

"I'd like to pull off turquoise beads as well as that."

He would? That felt nice. Then, Kael'thas tried to smile at me. He really didn't want to do it. I felt that, too.

Getting to know Saturna was hard. Kael'thas was really intimidating. It was like trying to get along with a mountain. I could feel, acutely, that I wasn't his sort and I wasn't someone he wanted to see. But he was fighting it with everything he had.

… For Saturna.

It was almost a little scary then, how much he loved her. I got the sense he wasn't very social, but he was able to force himself to be. And, Kael'thas was upset, he was angry with himself. He was… desperate. Was I picking up on that, too? Kael'thas turned back to the lane of red carpeted marble ahead of us. Other than a few guards watching the way, we were alone.

And then something else was familiar. His hand shaking, his manners slipping, and his eyes were a bit weird, too… more than staying on Saturna's good side, he wanted an arcane crystal pretty badly right then, didn't he?

I could have laughed at him. I also could have told him I had one in my pocket, just to see him jump.

Would have also been the last joke I ever made, though.

Worth it though, do you think? To enjoy the irrefutable proof that Kael'thas was still partly a junky? And I thought the patched up Sunwell was supposed to fix that problem for the Blood Elves. Damn, those were some good spin-doctors he'd employed these last ten years.

Maybe if I got him drunk enough. A lot of people had warned me not to mess with Kael'thas, though.

Nobody warned me it might be so easy or fun to do, however!

"Wait, are we leaving the palace? First, I was hoping to—"

But then large double doors went wide open and we were suddenly stepping into a carriage. Kael'thas had a seat in front of me. We faced each other. As soon as the carriage doors closed, he knocked on the wall, and we started moving.

Kael'thas said, "I couldn't say 'I want to get the hell out of the palace' where my wife, or someone in the court might hear. You understand. If she's going to be like that, we may as well leave her to it." He rolled his eyes.

I wondered if we were really going to do this, pretend that I hadn't seen him kill someone in a loud, horrific conflagration.

Then, another more important concern distracted me. I really hoped Kael'thas wasn't taking us to some strip club. Cause that would be really awkward for my first night in Silvermoon. With the king.

But, if he did, I'd have to write home to Mey about that! No, she would seriously find it funny and get mad if I didn't get Kael'thas up on stage, with the dancers, to royally embarrass him. Aw, Mey, she's a great girl…

Kael'thas huffed, shook his head and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a bright gold box and flipped it open. He took out a cigarette. At least I hoped it was.

"Want one?"

"No… No thank you—"

"I was ready to kill for one." Kael'thas raised a hand to his mouth, then got annoyed that his white glove was still on, tugged on one of the fingers to slip that off. Then that finger had a bud of flame on the tip, he lit his cigarette, then shook his hand to put it out.

Tiniest of magic tricks. Hella impressive.

Kael'thas stretched out and smoked. He put his boot on the ledge along the wall.

"…She thinks that I quit."

"I'm sure she knows that you didn't. But is happy to leave it that way."

Kael'thas regarded me for a moment in the near-darkness of the carriage. A strange magical purple cloth that ate away all the sunlight served as a curtain across the windows.

"Why do you say that?"

I shrugged, "Seems like a wife thing to do." I covered for my shameless interest in his wife pretty well, I hoped.

"That's kind of you to say," he'd been deciding on the right response for a beat too long. Then, Kael'thas had a break and nudged the curtain away, to look out of the window.

Kael'thas was being rude. It didn't take long for me to feel like the luggage he'd brought along, not really a palace guest. Being alone in a carriage with Saturna, and then riding alone with Kael'thas… Night and day. I tried, but couldn't imagine them sharing the same time and space, let alone a carriage ride. How the heck did they manage to get along and make three heirs to the throne? Or, likely, my jealousy was getting the better of me.

While he sulked on his side of the carriage, she probably hopped in his lap and tried to tickle him. Opposites attract. Actually, Kael'thas and I were similar, in a way, and that thought disturbed me even more. I mean, do you think he was all smiles when Saturna met up with him at the Black Temple? I had been moping about my cold oatmeal in Mulgore. In Outland, Kael'thas was probably sitting around, depressed about his burnt out pile of arcane crystals, among other things.

And then that woman, with all her signature lust and ambition, she shoved those crystals off the table and sat there, grabbed him by the collar and told him there were better things to be addicted to. Woof!

Well, I am being scientific in a way. You see, I had finally figured out Saturna's flirting by then. It was more her energy, just the way she was. Saturna was beautiful and she loved being overly-friendly. For men she was attracted to, that became flirting. Sometimes it was over-the-top when she was winning them over but… Saturna wasn't out to have a conquest with every man that she saw. It helped her to get things done. She could endure hopeful men flirting all the time and not let it exhaust her, or she could use it against them. Or, she could ignore it... Perhaps try to be less attractive and interesting to put them off? Yeah, that's not Saturna's style. No wonder Kael'thas got so flummoxed about her. Actually, I don't think many men are willing to put up with that, even for a really exciting prize. As for me…?

Uh… should definitely calm that down now that Kael'thas has wormed his way into my Saturna fantasies for some reason.

But it was a useful line of thought, in the end. Because that was the kind of attention Kael'thas had got cozy with. And, now deprived of it, he couldn't cope. He'd waited and waited and waited for Saturna to come back home to him. Then, he got impatient and went halfway across the world to address the problem. She found out and shut him down. Rightly so, Kael'thas had only been thinking of himself at the time. No, thinking of his hurt…

She was home again. She'd shut him down again. Kael'thas didn't have to babysit me, he just couldn't face her after all that rejection. Even though they were together and had been married for years, he still reacted as if his prom date had turned him down. Kael'thas fled from the castle, in fact. Well, well. So he did have a big chink in his armor, after all. Not just his wife, but the way he saw her, the way Kael'thas still saw the world, as if it didn't want him in it.

If Kael'thas really did see himself as one of those big, golden glorious statues we kept driving by in Silvermoon, then I was a kodo's uncle. Kael'thas was still a great big dork after all these years, after Jaina rejecting him in the libraries of Dalaran, after Prince Arthas besting him. A frightening sort of bookworm who could get hot on the warpath, but still.

While I was thinking it, or trying not to think of it, King Kael'thas surprised the hell out of me, "How's Chief Baine doing?"

Kael'thas stopped himself from taking another drag of his cigarette, in order to say that. And he'd said Baine's name with such disgust. Kael'thas then looked at me with real ire, like he was daring me to say something about it. I knew immediately that he was testing me.

"I had a fight with Baine too, actually. He's my chieftan, of course, but he needs to grow up some more."

"I don't like him."

Did it matter? Was I supposed to care? How is that something that you say to an ambassador from Thunderbluff? Okay, Kael'thas, how old are you again? Three? Three-and-a-half?

I tried to help Baine a bit, "He was better while his father was around."

Damn. Wrong thing to say. Considering how Kael'thas had also lost his father unexpectedly, been forced to rule before he was ready… I could have hit myself.

"Well." He lingered, "Most men are. I will give him that."

It was actually a very gracious thing to say. And insightful, too. I hoped for more. I was disappointed.

We spent the rest of the trip in silence. Me staring at this strange, notorious, magical man seated mere inches from me. Kael'thas not caring whether I was. Smoking. Watching his city go by.

To my surprize, we were not going to a seedy strip club called… Fel Candy, with succubae dancing on the tables. When we got to the place, Kael'thas made us all wait while he finished his cigarette inside the carriage. I'm not sure why he did that, because a bunch of smoke still came out when the door flung open. That left him stepping out, in his fancy outfit and even fancier hair, cape just hovering over a cascade of smoke. A true evil villain, right?

Stewards almost skipped up to the door they were so glad to see a royal carriage. Then they opened the restaurant doors for us. Kael'thas gestured absently and his own man jumped down from the carriage and tipped them immediately. Big gold coins. Later, I'd see how Kael'thas' face was on every single one of those.

After all that smoke, and the man in gold and red striding onto the scene, came me, a dazed Tauren country bumpkin who kept blinking at the strange purple twilight I had never seen before in this part of the world. The sun had set while we were in that carriage, not that I could tell. With the weird enchanted thick curtains and his cigarette smoke even getting inside my earholes…

We'd arrived at a bar. A nice place where everyone turned their heads the moment their king strode into the room. I expected it all to erupt in cheers and hollers. But, after a few blushing ladies turned back to their drinks and the men smirked at what he was wearing, (in that jealous sort of way, I hate to say) Kael'thas was able to move on, undisturbed. No wonder he chose the place. A man in a crimson three-piece-suit and a gold tie bowed low and escorted us upstairs, to a private room.

I looked over the side of the stairs and noticed many more faces smiling or amused to see me. They weren't rude, not at all. I assumed they would be.

"Kael'thas has a Tauren?!"

"It's a Sunwalker."

"The queen just got back from Thunderbluff."

"Tauren are so _in_ right now."

Okay, so hanging out with Kael'thas, going from hated to awesome and in high demand in about ten seconds… kind of stressful.

The upstairs bar was totally abandoned except for a table with three subdued men sitting at it. The bartender was doing that thing you see in plays, trying hard not to look like he was set up in a fancy scene, pretending to polish a long line of sparkling, crystal glasses. As packed as the downstairs part was, this second bar could have been picking up a lot more customers. I tried not to let my eyes deceive me. These must have been extremely important, and wealthy, to be able to take an entire section of this place for themselves. So, then. This was a usual thing for Kael'thas? What three men could be this powerful? Halduron and Lor'themar were back at the palace, or so I thought. Perhaps they had sneaked out to join Kael'thas and a friend…

I overheard them talking as Kael'thas and I approached, "…No, no. It's actually a really good story, how Kael'thas defeated Illidan, and then even won over Thrall in the end. Because it happened while Thrall was still the warchief. So let's try that-Shhh! Everyone, come on now."

Son of a…

I would have never believed these were the original three, not in a million years. The men who had the magic, the wisdom and the damn stubborn tenacity to set Kael'thas on the long journey to finally return to Silvermoon. And they survived Saturna's leadership, at that.

I believe it was Fennore the Immortal who waved at us. Then Fennore pinched Sunthraze in the arm, for him to stop joking around, even though Pyorin seemed to be the animated one, trying to chug his beer.

"Hey! I behaved, this time. It was under pain of death you said-"

"Sorry, Sunthraze, but you were simply closer."

"No, I think you're just an ass, Fennore."

Pyorin slammed his drink down and ordered another round for the table.

Fennore spoke over it all, "Hello Kael'thas, we were just saying, you should tell Turaho the story of how you got back on the throne, with Thrall there and everything."

Kael'thas wasn't kidding about that drink. As soon as it was served, he got lost in a long swig. It wasn't champagne.

Eventhough I'd guessed who they were, I couldn't help feeling like they owed me some manners.

"Introductions?"

"You can't tell? I thought you were the world-famous Pathfinder, and a recently turned Sunwalker? You were the one responsible for that secret courier servie between Thunderbluff and Stormwind, weren't you?"

I smirked, "Nicely done. You're… Pyorin?"

Pyorin almost missed his beer stein, for sudden laughter.

"I'm Sunthraze. I'm the youngest one with the best hair and the hottest wife."

"You—" It got quiet when Kael'thas almost said something about that. How interesting… I could just kick myself for not remembering all the ins and outs of their royal friendship with him. He'd crossed the line with somebody, somewhere, for sure. But whatever it was, it was long enough ago that everybody was content not to have it come up again. Whatever Kael'thas was about to stupidly say, it was quickly forgotten and forgiven.

Damn.

"I hear Elves like to dye their hair." I eyed Sunthraze's wild tangerine hair. It was incredibly distracting. I was tempted to make fun of it, or say anything about it. It was the sort of hot red that I imagined it should have unsettled everyone at the table. But after so many years in a makeshift brotherhood, I suppose that was fast forgiven as well. Or, Sunthraze was so good at handling his own, it wasn't worth anybody's effort. I felt timid doing it, but decided to let my curiosity about Sunthraze's intense hair drop.

"Not Night Elves." Fennore turned down the side of his mouth, "Here, we try not to lump all Elves together, Investigator Runestalker."

"Turaho is fine."

And this one already knew my surname. He'd guessed how to address me formally, too. Too formal for me, though. Fennore reminded me of Faltheriel a little. I couldn't say why. He was thicker built, with a stronger chin. Also blonde. This one had a darkness about him as well, somehow. One of them was not only a Bloodknight but also a warlock. I couldn't remember what powers the others had… I guessed Fennore was the one.

I got impatient, "So… how did you get on the throne, Kael'thas?"

Kael'thas looked at me sideways for a while, then some laughter almost escaped. He pretended to cough and cover it. "Oh, Turaho, it was really very simple…"

Sunthraze snerking laughter should have clued me in, but somehow, even after Cousin Brunho's stories, I didn't see it coming. Possibly because Kael'thas is supposed to be regal and a big deal and all.

"…I got it from my daddy."

Pyorin slammed the table with his hand and cracked up laughing.

Sunthraze gasped with laughter, fell back and then almost slipped from his chair.

It had to be said, "You guys… are a bunch of idiots. How long were you all saving that up."

Fennore sipped his sherry, then gave me a clever wink.

I had to say it again, "Are you guys being serious? Is this for real?"

Kael'thas made a fist, "Are you challenging my claim to the throne? I think that's treason and I do happen to have all my loyal Bloodknights with me tonight."

"I'm pretty sure that I'm not required to laugh at your terrible jokes, Kael'thas. That's what I meant." I slipped up and spoke to him like Saturna was sitting next to me, instead of her terrible husband.

Sunthraze started laughing all over again. He was pointing right at Kael'thas this time, nearly crying. "Woah! Someone finally said it, Kael'thas."

Pyorin gave Sunthraze a high five and then grabbed his hand mid-air, "I like this guy. He's cool."

"Me?"

Pyorin nodded, "Yeah, like your cousin. I was actually excited to hear another Runestalker was coming over here. Glad you didn't disappoint, man."

They joked and told stories, and carried on while Kael'thas didn't say much. But I had already sensed he was the type who wanted to withdraw into his own thoughts and not be bothered do actually socialized. He seemed happy in his own way, just absorbing the energy around him.

At one point, Sunthraze reached across the table, offering his hand to me. I wanted to just roll my eyes at him, very badly. I mean, I was there to do an investigation, find a missing person who was probably stuck somewhere and terrified. And, I was missing my home. How much time had already been wasted? But Kael'thas and his horrifying Burning Crusade-era Bloodknights were carrying on like it was a stag party?

I got up, slapped Sunthraze's hand once, twice, then fist-bumped him. You know, old-school.

"Woaaaaaah!" He really liked that, if you can't tell. "Is that like a Tauren thing? Did I just do a Tauren thing?! SOWEET!"

I sat right back down again, and I had to laugh. "You guys are amazing. I can't believe I'm hanging out with Kael'thas and his minions like this."

"Minions?" Fennore set down his glass.

"Eh, guess we are." Pyorin shrugged with his big shoulders. He had a very fruity drink in front of him now and slurped it through a pink straw.

Fennore turned his empty sherry glass around in circles, "Well, when Pyorin gets into his girly drinks, it's time to go. I think we've been at this for hours." Then, Fennore yawned.

It hadn't been hours, though, had it?

"This is strawberry. Real strawberry. Will you finally try some? It's delicious."

I got distracted looking at the giant man with the tiny, pretty pink drink.

When I looked up, Fennore was walking out of the door. He waved, "Nice to meet ya, Sunwalker Runestalker!"

"Oh, like I said, Turaho is fine. Have a… nice night?"

"And obviously, the king needs his sleep." Kael'thas rolled his hand with a quick, elegant gesture.

Sunthraze stood with him, "Yeah, and it's well-known around here that I get kept on a strict bedtime." He quirked an eyebrow.

Geez, how many times was this man going to brag about the woman he was married to? Who even cared?

(Well, she _is_ the main of the person writing this story and it's been a rough month, so she gets all compliments.)

Sunthraze shuffled around the table to clap me on the shoulder and give my hand a shake again. "Take care, man. This was really great. You're just like your cousin, aren't you?"

"Well, Brunho and I sorta—" Sunthraze wouldn't let me finish answering that.

"Anyway, we have to do it again sometime, soon. Get home safe."

I nodded, feeling kind of hazy. I wanted to try that fancy champagne I kept hearing about. But nobody else had it, I realized. That left me who I had learned during the course of the conversation was the Captain of the Royal Palace guard, slurping a fizzy strawberry drink.

"Wanna try?"

Eh, why not. I had a sip. "Dang! This is really good. It reminds me of the wild strawberries we have growing back behind my aunt's house."

"Oh, what a compliment. You have to tell the barman that. Sampson will be thrilled."

 _Slurp… Sluuuuuurp… Slyurp._

I sank back in my chair, "Actually, speaking of get home safe… where am I staying, again?"

Pyorin finished up, took out the straw and then knocked the final dregs of the cocktail back. I waited for him to set the glass down again.

I leaned in, keeping it polite, "Isn't that funny. I'm not even sure where I'm staying. Heh. Is someone meant to meet me?"

Pyorin was getting up to leave, also. He hitched up his pants and then leaned down to place a tall stack of gold coins on the table. He got oddly focused trying to make sure the small column of coins was exactly straight.

"Oh… Wait, you're homeless? That's ridiculous." He thought I was joking.

Apparently, so! I was drunk, but I could still tell that it wasn't funny in the least. It was pretty much the look I gave him.

Pyorin blinked through being so buzzed, "Wait, how did you get here, again?"

Suddenly, all the fun we were having started to make sense. And it was starting to piss me off.

"Kael'thas brought me. He pretty much snatched me right out of the throne room, the moment I was introduced. It was all his idea."

Pyorin looked embarrassed, but then he hid that.

So, whatever it was, Pyorin hadn't been in on it. I'd truly surprised him. But the way the other two had left… I wondered if Pyorin really was in the Blood Nexus group. Not if he was this slow on the uptake.

"Ho man. Now, I feel pretty bad."

"Don't feel bad. Fill me in." Slow, drunk. Or, buzzed… Poor him, I was going to be very good at taking advantage of that, "You're the Captain of the Royal Palace guard, correct? I did hear you say that?"

He stood straighter, "Yes, sir."

"Then who usually makes arrangements for palace guests? That should be at the tip of your tongue."

"The queen. Well, everything goes through her."

"But Saturna's been away. And now, she's probably in bed. So who covers for the queen in these situations?"

"Her lady-in-waiting. Lady Daphne."

Short, correct answers. So far, so good.

"So we need Lady Daphne's approval to get me situated at the palace, where I'm supposed to be, right?" I was going to untangle this little prank of Kael'thas' very fast. Poor him. "Then let's go wake her up."

"But Daphne will kill me if I wake her up this late." He winced, "Uh, she's my wife. Daphne locks me out when I go to the bar with Kael'thas. Not that I blame her. Sometimes, we four stay out at all hours."

Wow. How convenient. And how very surprisingly disorganized of the Blood Elves, to neglect things this badly. A wife of a man at the table should have seen to their important guest having a place to sleep and they'd failed that test, somehow. What a GIANT coincidence, Kael'thas. You bastard.

I thought through this. No, what I needed right now, even if we did manage to wake up the keeper of the keys, was not a cushy bed to sleep in. I could go to an inn if I wanted to. But I didn't need to spend all night fretting about that…

I looked at Pyorin. Would Kael'thas meddle quite that far?

"I think that…" I reached for my water glass, had a big gulp, "I don't need a bed. I don't need to sober up, either. We can do that on the way, the night air should handle it. What I need to do right now is investigate the keep, wherever you all lock up people here in Silvermoon."

"Now? You sure?"

"It's the first and most obvious place to search for a captive in this city. And that's the reason I'm here. Not to get drunk and wander the streets of Silvermoon, and not to fumble around downtown with the husband of the Lady-in-Waiting, trying to get me a someplace to sleep it off in case Plan A failed. In fact, at this rate, I'm surprised Kael'thas didn't just straight up poison me."

"Hunh?"

"I said now."

"You don't understand, the Keep has to be off-limits until the morning." Pyorin stood his ground, but he still winced that it was a shame I didn't understand him. He really didn't want to have to give over, come out and say it. "There is only one person in Silvermoon who can authorize a search of Sunspire Keep. We're all under strict orders. Things were even backing up while she was gone. That's how serious it is."

"Who?"

"Saturna. As she's the Bloodknight Matriarch. If you want her, you'll have to… pull her out of bed with Kael'thas."

Now, we have it.

"Turaho. I do _not_ recommend it."

"You mean, pull Kael'thas out of bed with Saturna."

Pyorin glinted at me with full comprehension at my true meaning. Maybe he wasn't so unintelligent after all.

"Please, sir, take my advice. The king and queen have had a rough… patch. Kael'thas will be in no mood. He's got a very short fuse when it comes to Saturna. So he stole a few hours for himself tonight-Is that so awful? Or, is it really any of our business?"

Just what was he accusing me of?

Pyorin tried to brush over what he accidentally implied, "Look. Don't do this. It isn't necessary, is all I'm saying. No one will be offended if we just wait a few hours."

I huffed, tossed my horns, "You mean, don't put you in the middle of this. I don't care about my manners, I didn't come all this way for a damn tea party."

"We'll go and get some sleep instead, it's fine. There's a nice inn I usually go to, though it's also full of weird roleplayers at this hour. And I'm pretty sure it's Demon Hunter Night…" Pyorin looked distant, disturbed.

"This is your job. So-" I pushed my chair in. For a fancy red-cushioned, enchanted-looking thing, it made an abominable amount of noise. "Take me to the palace. Let's get moving."

Pyorin warned me once more that we shouldn't interfere with the royals. That Kael'thas and Saturna were obviously fighting, that they should have one night to talk and work things out. Feh. 'Talk.' I think anyone reading this knows what was really about to go down, and it had nothing to do with 'just talking.' Anyway, the stakes were higher than whether or not Kael'thas got nooky that he didn't deserve after being such giant invisible jackass in Mulgore. And possibly all the time, forever, since before then.

I clomped up to Pyorin on my big hooves. His face became stone. Well, this was a language he understood a lot better.

"Guard-Captain, I want to search the entire keep. From the lowest cells, to the petty criminal overnight pens, to the posh 'apartments' that I'm sure Kael'thas' wealthy friends get put in, to endure their wrist-slap after bribing the judges over goddess-knows-what in this city. I want to see all of that, and I want to see it now. If not, Sylvanas herself will be here by sun-up and maybe before then, 'cause you can be darned sure that girl's a night owl. I have no problems attracting Lady Sylvanas herself back to her homeland to pull rank on every-the-hell-body here."

Pyorin still wouldn't move.

"Oh come on, lover-boy." I gave his shoulder a hard nudge, "You can't like Kael'thas all that much!"

Sylvanas herself not being a threat to him was a little scary. I wondered who else on the planet, on two planets, could pull rank on Kael'thas if even Sylvanas, as… Well, as Sylvanas, and as our Horde Warchief couldn't.

Pyorin sort of rocked aside, as if he was used to having on heavier gear. A giant, door-sized shield, perhaps? Then he saluted. We walked out of there. Downstairs was also empty by that hour. They were sweeping up and upending the chairs on the tables. We flagged down a carriage back to the palace.

There was some fuss among the ministers who I figured did not want to wake and certainly did not want to deliver the message to the royal bedroom themselves. However, Pyorin outranked everyone in the Sunspire except perhaps for Saturna and Kael'thas. Kael'thas' chief advisor, who they wanted to consult first, was that same Faltheriel from before. It turned out that Chief Advisor Faltheriel did not live at the palace. I got the sense that Faltheriel's predecessor Sorn had done so, and that Sorn had lived and breathed King Kael'thas Sunstrider, twenty-four-seven. I say that because, the lesser advisors were afraid to make a move without first alerting the current head-man, but then it became obvious that Faltheriel had an estate outside of the city, so it couldn't have really been that. My estimation of Faltheriel went up. He was good at his job and good at having his own life. She he was sharper than I thought.

I made a mental note to be careful around a man with that much good sense, off the bat.

Pyorin's voice was threatening, if not his actual words, "You know as well as I do that Faltheriel Darkweaver is not to be disturbed! Kael'thas himself told you that personally, just yesterday. Now move! Make the arrangements. For the queen, and also down in the keep!"

Then, Pyorin left me there seated in the corridor.

"And where are you running off to hide?" I called down the fancy carpeted hallway. White and gold doric columns and tassled red curtains lined the long walls.

Pyorin was used to speaking loudly in the palace without having to resort to shouting, "No, sir. In circumstances like these, the Captain of the Guard goes to wake the royal couple, personally."

Damn. That was not going to be pleasant for him. But he was handling it like a pro.

"…Excuse me."

Pyorin bowed elegantly, from where he was. I thought he was being condescending at first, but no, that's just the way Blood Elves do it. The Captain of the Guard was merely satisfying his obligation to be courteous to an honored palace guest.

When Pyorin returned later, Saturna was not with him.

"Heh. Now, what's your game?"

He said, "I don't play games." Something in his voice made me think that, perhaps, Pyorin felt his other friends did, however. With enough time to think it over, I guessed he'd caught up to everything that I had figured out at the bar, as well as all the implications. How they'd used his lock-out situation with his wife, and kind of stuck him with me, for one.

"We're going down into the keep, now. Queen Saturna went ahead of us. The guards didn't believe it at first, and she didn't like that. They needed to be whipped into shape."

"Or she's busy hiding evidence, with their help."

Pyorin only gestured for me to walk with him, and ignored the rest. He set a brisk pace for us. Pyorin then held doors for me as we went and was even careful to warn me about the older stairs as we eventually descended down into the torchlit depths. Actually, Pyorin showed a great deal of consideration. But I couldn't trust it, yet. I was starting to notice that all Blood Elves had a natural way with charm. This noble, very professional Guard-Captain Pyorin, nearly one of the armored white marble palace statues come to life, he was still a tricksy Bloodknight at the end of the day.

If Pyorin was loyal to Saturna, then, however much I was starting to appreciate him-he was a problem.


	16. Up All Night to Get Stung

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Thanks again, so much, for reading. I'm really happy some people out there still enjoy these! Consider all these extra chapters a thank you present.

* * *

 **Chapter 16: Up All Night to Get Stung**

I expected to see sleepy Kael'thas there as well, hands stuffed up into his scarlet sleeves, looming with an ugly pout just over his wife's shoulder. Eager to get things over with and herd her back to his bed as fast as possible. He was not.

Saturna was walking up to us when we entered. She was flanked by guards who were hopping around and saluting a little more energetically than expected at this hour. Well, something had happened. I looked for the fear in her eyes.

And then, I pretended to wave my hands about in the air, stepping carefully around any potential invisible Bloodmages.

Saturna looked at me with dead eyes, "You done?"

"I am."

"Let's search the keep, then. Pyorin, you're with me. Heinrich and Solarion, change shifts with the other guards. I want everyone fresh until well past sunrise."

Both men shouted, "Yes, Blood Matriarch!"

"I see that they have to pick and choose whether you're the queen, down here. Just how many fancy titles do you happen to have, Saturna?"

Pyorin finally made a disgusted sigh at me, while both me and Saturna had our backs turned. Well, I guess he'd earned it, by then.

Saturna urged me onward, "You wanted to search the fancy apartments where Kael'thas' friends get their wrists slapped, didn't you?"

"I didn't put it like that—"

"He put it pretty much exactly like that, Saturna."

Suddenly it was intimate. Suddenly, Pyorin was very chatty.

"Come on, then. Let's see how differently the rich get treated here in the jewel city of Quel'thalas."

All the cells were mostly the same. A bit posh and golden to be jail cells, in my opinion, but then again the entire keep was like that. It was an Elf thing, I supposed. Row, after row of empty cells with bars. Prisoners asleep with red blankets pulled over them. When we couldn't clearly see people's bodies or faces, Saturna stopped and asked the guards nearby to assist Pyorin with opening the cells and using an arcane lantern to shine over their faces. The prisoners hated it. Pyorin had to slam into a few to get them back under control.

I felt like a real heel for upsetting so many. As if their situations weren't bad enough. They really were prisoners. They really were unhappy to be there.

Anyway, the way Saturna did it took hours. It was thorough. A cavity search would have been kinder. I thought I'd go mad by the end of it. Her calm voice, all the disruption, Pyorin looking almost like a dead man on his feet as he went through the motions of unlocking gates, pulling people to stand, pushing them back. But he kept up the pace. He'd had to go through worse in his career, I could tell. Likely, in Outland. Black Temple, Tempest Keep… Pyorin had an almost unholy endurance. So what was his old job before this? Rustling wild Fel Orcs?

I'm not making a joke there. Paladins. Holy. Bloodknights. Unholy.

When we were done, Saturna's voice had the effect of waking me up. It was one of those things where I hadn't noticed I was falling asleep until then.

"Sunwalker Turaho, have you discovered any Dwarves during this inspection? Anyone at all who might resemble Greatfather Winter?"

"I should have questioned all of them, too." I was also very stubborn. I refused to let her feel triumphant at all. She wanted to punish me, but this was the way things should have been in the first place, when I first arrived in Silvermoon. And her people were the ones accused of kidnapping the old Dwarf. I wasn't in the wrong.

"Good. We like a challenge. Pyorin, head back that way. We'll do it all over again if we have to."

"And I'll lock him in the last cell on Block D, with the serial killers, when we finish."

Saturna turned to Pyorin, "Go to bed. You're better than this."

Pyorin swept his short dark hair back, stumbled off to do just that.

"Well, so he can't run all night after all."

Saturna waited until we were alone, then she walked a circle around me. Her pacing, I was yet to learn… that was a very, very bad sign. You think I would have learned back in that cave, in Mulgore. I stupidly hadn't.

Saturna simmered, "Well, I truly can't help you now."

"I never asked for it."

"Baine wanted us to work together. He's your chief."

"That was in Mulgore—"

"No, that was wisdom. Good advice works everywhere. Had it occurred to you at all, that Baine was insistent and I was insistent as well, because both Baine and I know and have met Kael'thas before? But you haven't?"

"Kael'thas is a man, not a dragon. Not some god."

"Do you even know what you've done?"

"He played a prank on me. Oh come on—were you really impressed when he swanned in, stinking of booze and playing that he didn't drop me off someplace? Or did you even bother to check."

I really do say the wrong things to women at times.

"I'm not happy with what Kael'thas did tonight. But I'm more disappointed that you couldn't just get over it."

"Me?!"

"I asked for a professional."

"You don't own me. I don't work for you."

"Silvermoon is paying you."

"Justice works for no one."

"Justice? You're preaching to a Bloodknight, about justice?"

I tried to make a crack about Paladins being better than Bloodknights, but it never landed.

"Upstairs is a man who, yes, did act like an ass, going all over the place in Mulgore. But he did it because he was anxious and worried about what would happen to me. And, as it turned out, there was a threat. A Night Elf rogue was tailing me, and you! But you waited to tell me that, hours after you found out."

"Is that what Kael'thas said?"

"You kept it from me. You have already lied to me. Now, what else are you lying about, to spare me? Go on, out with it. I want a clean slate after this."

I figured Kael'thas wouldn't tell her that Malfurion had put a price on his head, anyway. A husband wouldn't. If Kael'thas had overheard that first conversation. Alessandre would have been careful to conceal himself well, however. I'd have to ride this out for a few more days, gage Kael'thas' behavior, to be sure.

"Saturna, I don't like being jerked around. I wasn't born with a leash around my neck. No one is, but Kael'thas doesn't seem to get that."

"What makes me even angrier, is that you thought you could meddle in my marriage—how _dare_ you!"

"Me?!" I was saying that a lot, "You were the one flirting with me, sliding your hand up my leg. And teasing me on the way over here-"

"That was business."

"Oh, now it's 'just business.'"

"What else do husbands do with their wives in the middle of the night? What right did you have to interrupt us? Whether Kael'thas was making things up to me or… baking me sugar cookies, you had no right to summon me like that!"

"You didn't have to come answer my 'summons' if you thought that was what it was."

"Oh, don't play me for a fool. What kind of queen could you say that I was if I ignored you? And how bad would that look for Quel'thalas?"

"About as bad as it should—"

Saturna stepped in and shoved me, "Stay out of my marriage! You and I? We are not in Mulgore anymore."

It hurt. I wasn't supposed to.

I informed her, "The thing about nasty, red, beady-eyed roosters, they tend to have a few chickens."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

There never would be a good time to bring up the succubus thing, would there? It was such a volatile subject. Anyway, what was the point of doing so now? She was already angry enough with him.

"Well, I hope you didn't roll over so easy for him."

Saturna was disturbed. "Where did you…?" Her breathing quickened, then she calmed herself. "No, just go upstairs. Lady Daphne will be arriving soon. She will be handling you from now on, not me."

What? But we were assigned to work together, weren't we? All our 'fun times' started flashing before my eyes. To believe I once dreaded having to be around Saturna. Somewhere in there, I'd grown to really enjoy her company. She made me feel… secure.

"Now I need to worry about my kingdom as well as my marriage." Saturna's voice faltered and showed how exposed she felt. She pushed one of the studded metal double doors partway open, began to walk out. I reached and held it all the way back. No thank you from her. She was furious. I followed her, glancing around at the guards as we went. They'd probably heard most of it. Right? Unless there were magical seals…

Saturna did not look like she would help me with that information now. Perhaps not ever again.

"…I'm sorry."

Saturna only hiked up the stairs more quickly.

"Please, let me set things right."

"You won't have time. You'll be too busy watching your back."

"For what!" I got offended.

"It's none of your business, but I had no intention of… reassuring him about anything tonight. Kael'thas hadn't earned that with me, yet. So you really dug your grave, tonight. And I also don't feel like smoothing things over for you on my end."

We got to the top of the stairs and palace guardians in red robes pulled back iron gates for us to walk through. A woman in a pale blue dress was waiting nearby, hands politely folded before her. I noted the hulking shape of Pyorin departing far down the hallway. He'd been delayed by talking to her. This would have been his wife, then. Lady Weaver.

"I did warn you." Saturna gave me a final backward glance before veering off to the right, back up a long ramp toward the center of the palace, the throne room, and beyond, the royal apartments.

I heard the gentle clicking of a lady's heeled shoes, drawing nearer. I was also reminded that Tauren women's hooves sound nothing like that. I sort of missed it.

"I was once called Daphne the Weaver." Daphne didn't say hello. Nor did she curtsey as her husband would have bowed to a palace guest.

Things I only noticed days later. That's the kind of sleek character this one was.

I was too tired to worry about it. That was the other problem. "I think I need to lay down."

"Come with me." Daphne walked beside me, rather than in front of me or behind me. She was even willing to squeeze a bit through double doors alongside me.

The silence was awkward. I was beginning to imagine all the bad things Pyorin must have confided in her about me.

I just let 'er rip, "It was just a prank, in a way. To match his prank. Kael'thas can't be all that angry with me."

"Ah, but you misjudged. This is Quel'thalas. This is Silvermoon. It is his kingdom and his city and his palace." She smiled, but could have eaten me with that smile, "And, his wife. A man might put his feet up on the furniture in his own house, but his guest shouldn't dare." Then, she lifted a finger instructively, as if we were in a schoolhouse.

"I feel like everyone here keeps forgetting I am investigating a missing person."

"But that missing person is a Dwarf."

"Greatfather Winter is an icon. A symbol. At the very least, a mortal being. Even if he is a scheister. Well, I guess a Bloodknight wouldn't understand."

"I am explaining why we Blood Elves are so relaxed about whatever you presume to be the problem. We have our own quirks for you to be considerate about, don't we? That was always your role, not ours."

The conversation was pointless. She was batting me around like a cat with a mouse. She knew full well that I needed information, that I was clever and was going to try for it at every opportunity. But Lady Daphne was obviously vengeful about her husband.

I blurt out, "Are any of you Bloodknights actually nice people?"

Daphne stopped at a set of white double doors. I looked around. The hall decorations had changed completely. Lots of white, blue and purple.

"Where are we?"

Daphne pointed, her voice sugary and kind, "Just through there is where the dragon sleeps."

"What—"

"Kael'thas is the dragon, Turaho."

… _Shit._

She shrugged innocently, "My husband told me you were doing an investigation and would like to be as close at hand as possible. This way, you won't miss anything. That is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Uh, does he know I'm up here?" I lowered my voice to a whisper, "I think I want another room."

Her voice was even more saccharine, "Aww, but this one is all made up. And all your things are here, already put away in the widdle cupboards." She walked inside of the room and opened the closet for me. She swept a hand down elegantly to show me.

Well, the palace servants had done a nice job. My leather harnesses had never before been folded so crisply, but—that wasn't the point!

Daphne stood near the bed next, patted it. She crooked her finger and beckoned me over.

This next whisper was sensual, "Get some sleep."

"I… alright."

"That's it. Just lay back, relax. This is one of the best guest bedrooms in the entire palace. You'll be very comfortable here."

And then, she was drifting back to the doors.

"You said… they called you the Weaver? Why? What did you weave?"

I was at least in it enough to try and figure out that part. When she thought she'd already won, she might just tell me.

"Weave. As in spells."

"What kind of…" I yawned, "spells?"

"All of the spells." Her voice had an odd lilt to it now. It could have been whispering to me from that closet, or out of a childhood nightmare. Daphne stood with her hand on the silver doorknob. She began to walk out and close it for me softly.

"And why you?"

"Because, Turaho, I'm very, very good. I remember… everything." Then she slammed that door so loud, I hopped up and had a real panic. I thought a gun had gone off. I seriously did.

And then I had to wonder where the Blood Elves had stowed away my rifle. The palace staff probably wouldn't be so accommodating with their sovereign sleeping nearby.

I wondered if Kael'thas had put her up to that cheap trick? Or, Saturna?

One thing I could celebrate, there was one more person I could add to my list. Knights of the Blood Nexus? Daphne had to be one of them, too. She had the skillset, both magically and mentally. And Saturna trusted her. She had put Daphne totally in charge of my stay at the palace.

I wasn't so happy to have uncovered that, now that I think back.

… … And was there someone… laughing through the walls?


	17. A Bad Outland Tattoo, Part I

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 15: A Bad Outland Tattoo, Part I**

" _Turaho!"_

It was nasal and it wouldn't stop. And when I woke up enough to realize what was going on, I really scared myself for another reason. I was actually thrilled to hear a Goblin's voice for once!

"Bonnie!"

I knew where it was coming from. My bag of so-called marbles. I patted my vest, then realized it must have been stowed away somewhere in the room. By those tricksy Blood Elf servants of King Kael'thas Sunstrider.

No chance his minions knew what those things really were. Well, unless they could somehow… 'read' Naga magic. And Naga magic is practically the magic of the old gods.

I know, I know. But I did tell you guys that Madam Goya was the one who procured those things for me, right? Bonnie did it through her. I thought I mentioned that.

The marbles were in a small drawer next to another drawer filled with what smelled like lumps of salt-lick? Interesting, as I hadn't packed any.

Probably some kind of sin'dorei hospitality thing that also bordered on offensive to Tauren. Again.

I poured a few of the little glass globes into my palm. It'd take ages to go through them all and find the one Bonnie was somehow using to speak with me.

" _No, I'm on your beads! Your Sunwalker armor."_

My brow raised. I smoothed down my flat beaded turquoise chestpiece, feeling for what I couldn't see. Nothing on me was marble-sized, I swear.

" _I'm a seed bead!"_

I heard her voice vibrate beneath my fingertip.

"Ho! Look at that—aren't you a little badass, Bonnie?"

She giggled. Oh, how I missed croaky, slightly-maniacal Goblin laughter.

"These Elves are crazy, Bonnie! You gotta come save me."

Then, I realized I was getting excited and lowered my voice—I suppose to inconvenience Kael'thas if he was still over there. Ugh… sharing a wall with Kael'thas of all people was still giving me shivers.

" _Nice. You look great at every angle!"_

"Yeah, I guess you've probably been peeping at me for a while, then. Lucky you. Why did you only speak up now? And how's old Fitzy?"

" _Turaho, I need to tell you and this is important- you have to ask Kael'thas about his hair."_

"What?" Oh, I'd heard her alright. I was more concerned at the level at which she was beginning to waste my time. Another Kael'thas fangirl? I had half a mind to have them all rounded up and—

" _Ask him who does his hair! His hairdresser… it's important. I got a tip."_

"A tip about what, exactly."

" _See what Kael'thas says and how he says it. I don't got a lot of time. I'm not supposed to be on this thing during my midday break."_

"Well, I'd hate for you to get fired. Fitz might try to marry you."

" _Ack! Don't say that, you'll jinx it."_

"Why can't you just tell me what the hell is wrong with Kael'thas' hair? I wondered about it too, but it seemed a bit vain to ask—"

She unleashed a slew of curses at me and I finally promised to take the hair thing seriously.

" _I can't tell you how I know or who told me to tip you off. That's why they told me to put it that way."_

"Hold on—someone told you to tell me. Then it's someone I know, if you're afraid I'll guess it. Is it Meydiri?" I instantly knew I was wrong. Almost before I suggested her. Meydiri might be angry enough to conceal her interest when we were engaged and I was supposed to have written to her by now, but that was also too petty for Meydiri. She'd just, well, come out and hurt me in some way. Like by showing up and doing it herself. Baine would have sent official correspondence, and that would have beat me to Silvermoon City. So then, it was someone who knew about my case, who Bonnie thought was a safe person. Someone that she didn't think was a threat.

Who else, then?

I think, really, I was afraid to accept what I knew. There was… no one else it could be. My guilt surged, though, so I nudged the whole thing aside.

I heard a new Goblin voice, a man's. _"Bonnie! You still on that thing?! We got customers to serve, so shake that money-maker and jiggle those gams!"_

" _Fitz! Why you chauvinistic piece of—"_

I couldn't help it. I shouted a hello to Fitz too, before the little yellow bead fizzled out. Then, before I got up, I carefully counted which row it was on and in what order so that I could find it again. Hey—you don't grow up with a bunch of Tauren aunties and things who make you help with the bead-work during the winter and _never_ find a way to get something out of it in your life.

Just… don't tell any of my aunts that. And then that made me think about my mother. She and I were overdue our regular holiday chat from the spiritual world.

Ha! Though, knowing her, she was busy playing with Zoca up there, when Zoca finally crossed over to be a good spirit. Well, that cheered me to no end.

When I got myself together and stepped outside of the room, I noted that Kael'thas' royal apartment was very quiet. And, mind you, a Pathfinder can hear breathing. And the absence of breath, the lack of presence. All creatures have an energy, a kind of static around them. We notice clothes that don't shift their slightest. Throats that don't swallow. No friction between living bodies and the things that make up the world around them. The average person guesses that no one is there. The Pathfinder knows it in his soul.

I was almost sure there was no Kael'thas. Well, I hoped my old hunter instinct could also pick up whether someone dangerous was cloaked nearby. Hell—I'd dealt with shadowmelded Night Elves for months, there was a good chance I'd guessed right and nobody was home. The difference between the Golden Plain and now was that I had no idea Kael'thas could hide himself like that at the time. Now that I was anticipating him, I could look for the signs and trust my instinct.

Anyway, there was no need for me to go into his private sanctuary. The dragon cave. I knelt down and took one of the marbles from the pouch. I rolled it around until it was much smaller in the palm of my hand, about the size of a pea. Too small and I wouldn't be to do what all the best little boys and girls do with their toy marbles. I grunted a bit when I had to kneel down-you know, cause I'm an old fogey-but otherwise, I still 'had it.'

I looked at the scant space between the floorboards and the bottom of the door. I lined 'er up, and flicked my thumb to send the little ball spinning and hurtling fast down the line. As it went, it got smaller and smaller, then tiny. I was just able to notice it slip beyond, into Kael'thas' bedroom.

If I could listen in where he slept, then I might hear Saturna, too. And, one of those snooty royals might confess something.

I turned, and a servant had just walked into the hallway. Following him was Lady Daphne. I'd got to my feet just in time to confuse the butler, and miss cleverer Daphne having something to say about it. I tilted my head, and my horns, looking innocent.

She told me, "You have an appointment with the king."

"I don't remember scheduling one."

"You'll be late, Sunwalker Turaho. I'll lead the way so you get there without any unnecessary detours." She gestured politely, but then waited for me to walk first so that she could inspect my every move, this time. Like some jailor. The butler slipped ahead to get the door for us, but he wasn't being nice. He kept a few paces ahead of me to peg me in from the front.

Fine. Be that way.

This was such a danged setup, I expected to walk into a room that reeked of cigar smoke and see Kael'thas flanked by a band of beefy bodyguards-slash-lawyers while I questioned him.

Instead, there was just one white-haired, slick looking man in a three-piece blue pin-striped suit. He prowled along the windows, looking out, and did not acknowledge me when Lady Daphne and the butler let me inside.

"This is my father-in-law, Lord Byron Mageblade. He'll be sitting in on this conversation."

"Saturna's father? But I recall that Whiteblade is actually her Bloodknight name."

Some people might be afraid to look rude or ignorant and then correct their thinking to match what the other person said. Not so when you're a damn good Pathfinder. Or, used to be one.

Now, that Lord Byron fop stopped and smiled falsely at me. "Queen Saturna's father, yes." He dragged a chair closeby and sharply offered for me to sit.

I glinted at him, "You're a lawyer. Or another investigator. I know you are. Believe me, I've seen enough in my time."

Kael'thas smirked over at me.

"Uh, Kael'thas? Your father-in-law is also your lawyer?"

"What can I say? I like to keep it in the family. For years, they called Lord Byron Mageblade The Shark of Silvermoon."

Arsehole. And the courts in Silvermoon were probably biased up the ying too—packed with Kael'thas' cousins as the judges and jurors too.

Kael'thas folded his hands. His chair creaked. "So then, where shall we start?"

"I dunno, I figured I'd ask you for your recipe for baked chocolate chip cookies maybe, as I never did offer to interview you first. Don't waste my time with games, Kael'thas."

Lord Mageblade rolled his eyes, smiled harder and strolled the other way. He pretended to look out through the large, gleaming windows.

So. Picture this. You're a mighty Bloodmage—or you think you are. You're trying to out-think a 'lesser race' and you're also so arrogant that you don't think you need to conceal your manipulation whatsoever. But, for some reason that you refuse to see, you've hit a wall. A wall made of 'I'm not taking this crap from you Kael'thas, and I see exactly what you're doing, Kael'thas,' which implies the Tauren man he is dealing with is, actually, dangerous enough. In the arena of investigating crimes, yes he is. He's a great big bull standing in the sands, crowds roaring, ladies shrieking about how scary this all looks, as that bull brandishes his horns.

However, regardless of what's real, the Elf man in red struts around, tossing his cape, waving victoriously to the spectators already. He could care less. I might as well be invisible, this guy is underestimating me so bad. But we haven't even started yet, and I still got some sharp horns on me, don't I? I saw all this coming together in my mind and it was starting to really piss me off.

I got up to leave.

"There—Lord Byron, he's being hostile, isn't he?"

Lord Byron suddenly produced a notepad from the inside pocket of his fancy jacket, started making notes on me. Some extensive ones, when all I did was stand up.

"Kael'thas, this can go two ways. Neither is easy, you've sensed that. But one of them is going to be extremely painful for you, if you keep messing with me." Me, pawing my cleft hoof one last time in the stained sand. "For the sake of the Horde. For the sake of your kingdom and what I can do to you if I have to… Stop this now, and let me get on with my work."

He should have called it a day.

Instead, Kael'thas decided to interview himself. "On the night of Greatfather Winter's disappearance, I was here, in Silvermoon. I was playing cards with my father-in-law."

I gripped the chair back, "How nice and tidy of you two."

"Saturna was there also. You can verify it with her."

I looked dead at him, "A wife as a witness. The one person who can't testify against you in a Garrosh-style court proceedings which you desperately deserve by now. Excellent."

Kael'thas sank back, relaxed. I guess he thought he had me running in circles around him, in that raucous arena in his head too. "Other than that…? Want me to tell you the suits of the cards Byron had up his sleeve? Or the ones left over in the deck?"

"You _would_ be a cheat."

"My father-in-law was the one cheating; I was just trying to keep up."

"Why do I have a feeling you told the Sha'tar that when they came to collect about the Burning Legion. 'They were the ones massacring innocents. I was just trying to stay in fashion with them—'"

Lord Byron stopped pacing with a hard click of his heeled boot. He found the one spot that wasn't covered in carpet.

Okay, I admit now… that was kind of low. Maybe I shouldn't have. My bull in the arena snuffed hard, backpedaled a bit. And Kael'thas was striding forward, raising the red cape between us again.

Byron began writing more notes, while shaking his head, "Is this Tauren really going to conduct the entire investigation with such bias against you, Kael'thas? You'd better send away to Orgrimmar for a new man."

"Nice try, but I work for Thunderbluff, Lord Byron. And I've already been through all this 'who can fire me, who I owe' stuff with Saturna. Seems 'Team Kael'thas' isn't communicating so well with a very key blood relative? Now, I wonder what could have put her off?"

And so I bucked _him_ off.

Kael'thas smiled again, too happily for him, "Warchief Sylvanas is going to be here in a few days as well, did I neglect to tell you? She and I are going over a new trade deal with the Forsaken in Lordaeron."

I set my teeth, I wasn't sure how to read that. Or if I really wanted the banshee queen herself so very close to what I was doing out here. I used it as a threat, but it pretty much scared me, too. Sylvanas is like that anyway, she likes to keep everyone on edge and slavering to please her.

Nathanos being a case-in-point.

"So." Kael'thas raised a hand absently. "I think you can read between the lines, can't you?"

"How now?"

"She and I will be the best of friends. I don't think summoning the Warchief here to undo me is going to work so well for you Turaho, when she's been eager to have these magical goods for so long, have the tax rates settled and all that." Then, he grinned as if he'd slipped free a silver sword for me, out from under that flimsy red cape.

I happily told him, "Or, Sylvanas might use my presence to pressure you into a deal that's not in your favor."

Kael'thas shook his head at me. I had a feeling I'd caught him off balance, though. "Sylvanas is coming here. She will be here and she will be spoiled rotten. So no more of you claiming to be her best friend when I actually was the one who used to date the girl—"

Byron even laughed at that.

Kael'thas surprised me and shot his own father-in-law a defensive look.

"Sorry, Kael, it's just… You offered Sylvanas an engagement ring out of nowhere. It came by courier, back then. She wasn't even sure it was from you, because she didn't remember ever speaking to you about marriage, or going on a date for that matter. Incidentally, I was there when the debacle took place as I worked for the palace at the time…" then he trailed off, "My king."

Fun coincidence, that.

Kael'thas squinted an eye, "Hrmph. I wrote her the most beautiful courtship letter. I know that she kept it."

"It's just… you _wrote_ your courtship, is the thing." As Kael'thas began to glare, "You… well, wrote it all down."

Kael'thas had turned to me, folded his hands to get back to business. Then emotion flickered in his eyes and he swiveled his chair back toward the other man, "So? Why's that so wrong? I write very well, don't I?"

Wow, they were really going to have this out. I imagined I had a bag of popcorn in my lap.

"Well, that also means you authored… both sides of the um… Well, it was a courtship. It's bilateral. Or, it usually is."

Hold on. Was Lord Byron trying not to say that Kael'thas had… imagined he was going with Sylvanas back then? Haha!

Byron smiled hard, "Kael'thas, look at it from this angle. I promise, I mean no harm at all. But what if you had sent a neatly signed, yet ten-page letter over to Saturna's side of the Black Temple when you first met her? It wouldn't have…" Byron stopped short and shook his head.

Kael'thas still didn't quite make it there. "I wrote Saturna the most beautiful invitation to an um… cherry tasting party, back then. It was her birthday party, I mean. And she loved it, and she even danced with me. Obviously, we went well from there."

Really? Cause I heard Saturna tried to kill your only offspring together, and that was years after you somehow made her dead… Well, that was the rumor Alessandre fed me, but Saturna dying for Kael'thas before they sorted out their romance finally, was strange and horrible enough to make me doubt a lot of what Kael'thas was claiming about his romantic prowess right now. She could have been his glorified demon pet he conjured himself, for all I knew. A nice one.

And, he was still talking, "…So all of that disproves your point, Lord Byron."

Byron winced, "If Sylvanas comes here and this subject happens to come up… As my king, as well as my family, I'd just hate for you to… You see, from her perspective, Sylvanas got a very long letter and a ring in the mail. Let's…" Byron really was trying, poor guy. I started to feel awful for him. Being related to Kael'thas, can you imagine those constant, ungodly, embarrassing conversations dancing around Kael's worse traits at family gatherings? Geesh, "Kael, let's just not assume how your very generous effort affected Sylvanas."

Kael'thas was petulant, "And Saturna kept her copy of what I wrote, too. That's two women impressed with my romantic letters. Now, I think we should just draw a line under this argument and move on-"

"Probably kept them as evidence..."

Kael'thas started raising his voice again, "What was that, Investigator Turaho?"

I smacked my forehead. "Alright! Enough. You've lied to me in the presence of your lawyer and sole witness to your so-called innocence, Kael'thas. Am I dismissed yet?"

"I'm surprised you know that I've got to dismiss you first." He waited, letting me stew in it. "Are you sure that these are the only questions you wanted to ask me? I may be incredibly busy later, unable to accommodate you."

"Oh, you will be available. You owe me."

He pretended to wipe his red-gloved hands, "Debt's been paid, now."

"No, this wasn't a formal interview, the kind I'm capable of. Far from it. You just rambled on. Kael'thas, once I have all the questions together that I want to ask you, trust me, I will come on by and grill ya. But you aren't at the top of my list. I mean, not after this sorry display. I'm sure there's someone else I'd better hear from first, if you clearly can't be trusted to even do your basic duty as a member of the Horde and give solid testimony about a crime, when requested. You completely resent authority, don't you? I don't even think Sylvanas herself could interview you and hope to get a straight answer or any slivers of truth to string together and make even a good inference about actual events. You're the one who's being hostile, Kael'thas."

He clearly hated it. Then, he forced himself to ask the one thing he knew I wasn't going to answer for him, "…If not me, then who is your top suspect?"

It was my turn to lean in, real bad-ass like. "You still talk to Illidan Stormrage?"

Kael'thas stood up immediately. I think he forgot where he was in that moment. Shock, concern on his face. And then what I really wanted to see. His nervousness, his fear.

"Get me in a room with Illidan. I know that you can. Then, maybe I'll play nice with you and your Bloodknights."

He sneered at me, it was his worst sneer yet! Well done, Kael'thas.

"One last question King Kael'thas, do you believe in Greatfather Winter?"

"What kind of question is that?" went the terrifying family lawyer.

Kael'thas waved off Lord Byron, "Yes, I do. Because he is a horrible man who put coal in my stocking at Tempest Keep instead of just telling me that the woman I loved was still around, haunting me. Meanwhile, crazy Illidan gets this perfect diamond—"

"Wait…"

"I assume this is somehow relevant to your investigation and that you're not just being a smartass. Yes, Greatfather Winter is extremely dangerous and not to be underestimated. He has the power to ruin your life if he so chooses." Then, as if he was seriously addressing the whole Kirin Tor, he scrutinized me like a fellow mage that could get his true meaning, "Use the information wisely."

I gawped for a little while longer. I was, in fact, trying to be a smartass and end my interview on a high note that would twist the knife. I really did not expect Kael'thas to go into such detail. Or really be this loopy.

"Uh, you take it very seriously, for an educated Bloodmage. Who knows that Azeroth isn't flat, and revolves around the sun and all that."

"In his own way, Greatfather Winter is the most powerful man on this planet. No—two planets." Then he closed his gloved fist, seemingly jealous of this strange power. Kael'thas leaned an elbow on his desk and covered his mouth, thinking through the implications.

I blinked several times. Kael'thas must have been high on something all a sudden.

"Hokaaaaay. Illidan time. I hope he isn't much crazier than you like to be..."

Kael'thas claimed that it would have to be at the end of the day. I figured I might rattle Saturna's chain to get it to happen sooner. She seemed to have a decent level of respect for duty, even if she was angry with me. But when I asked for her later, they said the king had suddenly sent Saturna out all day to see to some royal drama that I also couldn't know the exact details of, threat to Thalassian security, something like that. Also neat and tidy of him.

One small thing I can admire about the mighty King Kael'thas Sunstrider. Ladies, don't kill me, but being able to put your nagging wife on a shelf for a day while you sit back, put your feet up and do your own thing? Kinda useful.

Yeah, I just lot a few fans over that comment. Ah well…

And crud, I forgot to ask Kael'thas about his hair. Was there a chance I could squeeze it in later and not be suspicious? I doubted he and I were ever going to do another chummy bar crawl. Bonnie was probably being a weirdo tall-person fangirl again anyway. I bet it was some long-game joke that she and Fitz were trying to pull on me. I wasn't mad, those two Goblins probably just missed me in their strange way.

In all honesty, I like to make these things up as I go along, follow my gut. Lady Daphne Weaver was getting too comfortable being glued to me wherever I went in the palace, so I decided to make her my next victim. Time to show an arrogant Bloodknight and a potential shifty Knight of the Blood Nexus what a real Tauren soldier can do.

She found a cozy little room for us and ordered tea. More games. I didn't drink it.

"It'll get cold, Turaho. That's an offense in most Elf lands—"

"Where were you at the time of the kidnapping?"

She took her time, blowing off the hot tea, sipping. Then, sipping again, more deeply, then setting the cup down in its saucer.

All that to delay, "…At home. Asleep."

"And I assume your husband can verify this?"

Another careful drink. This time it took forever. I out and banged my fist on the table. It caused her to spill a little on her dress.

"That was rude."

"Because I _am_ rude. This is the Horde! A person is missing! The safety of our entire faction is in danger if the Alliance thinks we're mucking about with this thing. So, I _will_ throw anyone and everyone that I suspect through a wall if I don't get what I want!"

"The queen will not approve of your speaking to me in this way. I'm a lady of the royal house, and my husband won't—"

"Starting with him! That meathead, he didn't even see when his own friends were playing him, so I know I won't have any trouble hitting him where it hurts. And I wonder how cooperative he'll be when his wife is shipped off to Thunderbluff to sit in a jail cell. I think you could spend some down time in the Pool of Visions, with Royal Apothecaries and our Farseers, learning to show respect to another race that you're meant to be allied with. My friends and Sylvanas' best friends, they'll love hearing all about that. You think just because you're being posh, I can't see how nasty you're trying to be? Cruel is cruel! Black looks black wherever it creeps into the light, am I right? I got eyes! And when I put a report of how you flauted a law-man in front of everyone at the top, Horde and Alliance, guess what? They'll have eyes in their heads as well, and see this crap front for what it is!"

Daphne turned red while I shouted at her and she tried to be busy dabbing lightly at the front of her lace dress, finally looking like a fool for trying to protect herself with frippery against a raging bull, too. Then, she gave up and tossed the stained cloth napkin onto the table.

The problem, you see, was her thinking she could hide behind being a fine lady. A glass trinket that needed to be handled with gloves. It was her best defense, but I'd seen it before, plenty of times. I tore through it with my horns. Sometimes you have to. She was a fellow solider in a lot of ways if she was one of those Nexites, whatever they're called. Call _me_ the Bluffwatcher, I called her bluff.

That's a good line and you know it.

Yeah, she might have thrown me in a golden jail cell for my yelling, but I was a one man army out here, like Meydiri warned me, like Bonnie said. And they hadn't needed to remind me of it back in Mulgore, I already knew that kind of hunt well. It had its downside, but it also proved I was something special. I'd hunted just like that, solo, in Ashenvale with the Night Elves, and successfully. A triumvir rogue of Darnassus was so rattled by what I did, all on my own, that he came to see me in person—Saturna should have warned her little clique about that by now. So they knew full well that I was totally happy to do the same in Quel'thalas, to them, and I might just succeed. I only needed to know the ropes, and they must have realized that I'd got comfortable anyway, though they tried to prevent it. Putting me in a room right next to Kael'thas, and him trying to knock me down a peg with his practical joke… I was back on my feet and now I had my second-wind, at that.

She went, "…Fine."

"Good, we're starting over. Full name?"

"Lady Daphne Weaver."

"That's not your birth name, is it? That's some honorific, a warrior's name. You told me the other day that you earned it. So, who gave it to you?"

"I weave spells—"

I kept the heat on, "That's not what I asked you. I know how you got it, but who gave it to you? Are you, or are you not a member of the Knights of the Blood Nexus? Blood Matriarch Saturna Whiteblade gave you that name at your initiation, just like she earned her Whiteblade name, when she actually started out as Lord Byron Mageblade's daughter. Didn't she?"

Daphne let out a breath through clenched teeth. She gripped the napkin on the table. "…Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I was given that name to show I was fully initiated. Into the Knights of the Blood Nexus. Since you already know that it exists, that's no secret to you, is it? Saturna probably confirmed it for you herself," No, Saturna had given them all a proper status update. They were holding regular secret meetings, somewhere, and I was sure of that now. If I could guess the frequency and the location, then I could bust their whole thing wide open. Ha! And with just one well-aimed marble, too. She had trailed off, but I got the best of it, "…for you to be this bold, investigator. But you have no idea what you are getting into, nor how deep it goes."

"That's a threat." I wrote it down, might as well learn from The Shark of Silvermoon City. I'm good thinking on my feet, "A veiled one, but it still counts against you. Next, I want you to tell me about your service in Outland. You've sworn loyalty to Kael'thas, is that it? How long have you been serving him? What did that service entail?" I arched a brow at her, "Other than weaving spells."

"Is this really relevant?" I stared at Daphne until she eventually answered her own silly question. She hooked deep blonde hair behind away from her jaw, swallowed, "My first mission was in Tanaris with my girlfriend, but I was really brought in during the second mission to save Kael'thas. You see, three years prior to all of that, at the Black Temple-"

"The first mission was to save his soul; the second mission to Tempest Keep was to save his ass. I know, so don't drown me in details. Tell me what you, yourself, did."

She looked unseated by my phrasing. So, this was another Kael'thas fangirl, at least on some level. I still can't imagine why all these people, especially the women, are smitten with him.

Daphne read that in my eyes, that I was judging her for it. "He is my king. If you want me to show you respect, then you should give me some. Don't dishonor me being loyal to my people and our history, albeit a tragic one, and my honor as a woman and wife, by looking me over like a piece of meat Kael'thas has trod upon. It was never like that."

"But it was, once." I could read her pretty well, too. I made sure she was well aware of it. If Kael'thas and I were a bull and a fighter, squaring off, then Daphne and I were buck deer, something like that. Trotting alongside, prancing in time, trying to look for any slight flaw in character or intelligence to stab an antler through. I concede that she was good, she really started this face-off yesterday.

Daphne flagged, smiling indignantly at my well-timed sweep of my antlers, "… Back then, Kael'thas was everything to us. It was easy to get lost in him. But it was also easy behavior to correct when Lady Liadrin insisted we stay focused on saving him. The exact details are still classified, but I can tell you that I arrived at Tempest Keep to serve as a healer, and also as spiritual support to the man who became our king. I did exactly that."

"A healer, a confessor—"

"No, that was Fennore's job. I never went that far."

I smiled, because I hadn't known that. She assumed I'd got that far already, then softly cursed herself.

"He was just the other healer."

"And just like you, Fennore was also far more than that to Kael'thas."

"I used to babysit the king's son, as well. His oldest, Prince Belorim."

"Why have all of Kael'thas' children renounced their claim to the throne, do you think?"

Daphne settled back in her chair. But not the way Kael'thas had, like she was victorious and done with things. It was an easier topic to discuss for some reason, than whatever stressful shyte happened with them in Outland. Well, how bad was it when they were all cooped up with Kael'thas and Illidan! I was starting to worry (a lot more, I do confess to being nervous when I brought up Illidan kind of on the fly earlier) about my meeting with him.

"They take after their father. When you're a renegade Sunstrider, and your children also have that as their legacy, it's hard to live down, I think. But you're wrong that all of the royal children have refused to rule. Princess Anthene is still keen to try."

"So she takes more after Saturna? The more honorable, Bloodknight side of the family?"

Daphne slipped a little smile at the notion. "Anything else, Investigator Turaho? We seem to be getting casual here. I thought you didn't want to have tea."

She was stressed and insulting me to shake off the extra energy. I continued to take my time, go in and out of being serious at my own pace. Let her keep guessing which part was important and which wasn't, "Talk to me about the first time Greatfather Winter disappeared. I remember reading a cute blonde in a costume helped nab him from Shattrath. She was a Bloodknight as well as a Sunfury. And Saturna was a ghost, gone, at the time. Weren't you the one?"

She sniped, "How can you possibly know all that."

Time to tell on myself, "I read _Goblin Gentleman's Magazine_. They like to gossip, and you've risen far since the incident so… they did a season's best recap last holiday. They made sure to do their research and make some pretty strong suggestions about who was who this time around. You know it, too. Someone important like you couldn't have been totally unfazed by that leaking out."

Well, I only had an excellent guess from the article. Figured she didn't exactly read GBM, so that was my edge and it worked. Also, sitting before Daphne now, I admit, she did sort of look the part. She obviously didn't dye her hair and had aged well. I suppose Elves do. Some lovely shade of blonde, nice legs… Oh-Not to get weird on you guys or anything.

Daphne looked disgusted, but only for a moment. "Have fun interviewing my husband when you get around to it. He reads that garbage as well. I had to hear about it from him."

"Only happy to make him put it down forever, for you. But you have to answer my question. Truthfully."

She sighed, with nostalgia as well as embarrassment now that I look back. "It wasn't my idea, or really Tempest's…" then whose was it? But I wasn't going to interrupt her right then, at the most important part, "But we wanted to motivate ourselves, I guess. Play up the idea of a bad girls' day out, of being Sunfury for Kael'thas. She had us wear these… red and black. And it also helped to distract all the guests in Shatthrath, with our feminine wiles," she rolled eyes at her old self, "It worked well. We used our powers, combined, to summon Greatfather Winter right out of there and back to Tempest Keep. All he did was host Kael'thas' party for his son. After that, I guess we all got drunk and chased boys, I don't really remember."

"I suppose Kael'thas doesn't have a… three-year-old, or a three-year-old, going on four, to impress with the real Greatfather Winter now."

"No, he really doesn't."

Daphne was sure that Kael'thas didn't do it. I sort of hated to see it and know that it carried some kind of weight, her jumping to his defense in a natural sort of way. She was tired of the accusation and tired of the idea. She regarded it as silly. And Daphne didn't want to waste any more energy defending Kael'thas, as if it had come up many times already. It had, with the Alliance, in all the reports I'd been made aware of. This wasn't loyalty Daphne was showing, it was practicality. She was weary. But who would have been accusing him, constantly, inside of Kael'thas' own kingdom? Who were the dissenters? Dissenters Daphne spoke to regularly, and who weren't under the jail right now in this crooked kingdom Kael'thas and his ministers were running, with their badly stilted newspapers?

Who could get away with accusing Kael'thas, in their own circle? And why would they do it?

I wondered if it was an argument between husband and wife, happening at home. That would make me weary. I could just see her, like Meydiri and me, talking shop at home and driving each other crazy with the same complaints, or concerns, over and over again. If Daphne did not doubt Kael'thas, and someone else in her close orbit regularly did, then I guessed who was driving her up a wall and getting away with it too.

Or, it might be a good girlfriend, or her Goblin footbomb instructor down at the country club in Eversong, how the heck did I know? But Pyorin the Tank was most handy.

"One more question, eventhough you might not think it's relevant. Do you believe in Greatfather Winter?"

A smile. She could smile very prettily. "Are you serious?"

"People who believe in Greatfather Winter being something other than a rotten Dwarf scheister would be more motivated to go to extremes for him, however this turns out." This time I had a realistic sounding purpose, though honestly it was for shits-and-giggles after how Kael'thas handled it so badly. Maybe it was a funny Elf thing?

She arched an eyebrow at me this time.

"Sounds like you don't, Investigator Turaho. Did he never visit you as a kid?"

I refused to answer that.

"When I was a girl…" she hugged her arms, "There was this pencil set I really wanted. These beautiful, colored pencils that were creamy and bold and better than anything I had ever seen before. They did a demonstration in the toy store once, when I was there with my dad. He wanted to get me something else, it was my birthday… but I just wanted those pencils. Maybe they were cheap ones. Looking back, that was probably his main objection. He was a judge, an important man. But his daughter wanted these crumbly, copper-piece pencils. I think it was more how they made me feel. Like I could draw anything. Make a rainbow come alive. Make real rainbows. Well, it sounds silly now. I must have been about… six? Seven? Very little."

A smile edged at my muzzle, too. "Not too little to want to believe in miracles and magic."

She really grinned, "So you understand. My father, he spent money on this giant, fancy set with these big ole' pastels that I couldn't even really deal with. And they were far too nice for me to take to school, I had to use special paper for them. And, they broke. I mean, they were pastels, so they would break. They weren't covered in cheap paper on the sides, to keep your hands clean and all. They weren't crayons, but proper adult artists' pastels. And I would have had to try and… mix for the colors I really wanted. Magenta, and jade green… even back then, I was precise. I couldn't figure out how to get exotic colors so easily. Dad used it as a chance to try and teach me about the color wheel. He made me get a tutor, just to learn how to use them. But I just wanted rainbows, right away. I was tormented by all this new responsibility, as a kid, I was in agony. Whenever my tutor came over and I just wanted to draw… I'm sure I cried."

Daphne came out of it.

"Then what happened?" I was more mesmerized at how gentle and real she could be when she wasn't in Bloodknight, or lady-of-the-royal-house mode. I could see big, brawny Pyorin struck dumb by how warm and open she could be, how in need of—no offense—protection. But a man wants to hold a girl like that in his arms, keep her safe and all to himself.

"Well, the toy store got bombed. I grew up, I mean, then Arthas came. I only remembered about those pencils when I walked past the place as a young woman, years later. It was rubble. And my longing for… that innocent childhood longing, it made me so happy to remember it, then it just flickered out again. If not for the war, I might have just walked in, at any time in my life, and bought those silly cheap things for myself. But I always took it for granted. Then, I became a Bloodknight, and then a Nexite. I thought we'd die in Outland, then I didn't. I thought I'd…" she told me this for some reason, "…die a virgin in Outland, but then I didn't. I came home and I got married. To a wonderful man. Then, one day, last year, actually, I walk in and this stupid, ratty pencil box is on the table. I didn't believe it at first, I was afraid to touch it. It was the exact day of Winter's Veil, you see."

"Oh?"

"Pyorin goes, all casual-like, 'Some Dwarf was selling these in Dalaran while I was on my holiday shopping. He said my wife would love them, I kinda agreed, so I just bought them. Like a stocking stuffer.'"

Watching her tear up, made this big ole' Tauren tear up if I'm honest.

" 'They're cute, like you. Little bunny on the case,' Pyorin said. Just like that. I had never, ever forgot that little white bunny though. Encircled in all those striped colors. And look, I love my husband, but he isn't so… clairvoyant. I'm sure I never even brought it up, such a little thing. So then, just as a secret or a deal I made with myself… I decided on that day it was Greatfather Winter who did it. I didn't even think they made those color pencils any more. I did check; I'm that kind of bookworm. I've read all I could about the Color Bun Pencil Company. All I can conclude is that I was an especially good girl last year."

"And did you finally draw a rainbow?"

"I made Pyorin do it with me. He complained until I finished explaining it all to him. That was a really great holiday, especially when I was missing our son so much. It was his first holiday away, and then that stupid, stupid GBM picture leaked…" Daphne stopped because I was getting her to tell me a heckuva lot. "Investigator, we have to be wrapping up about now, right?"

I came back to the moment as well, cleared my throat. "Thank you. Now I want you to send your husband in here."

Daphne let out another annoyed breath.

"Hey, I keep my promises. Why not tell him to bring his latest issues of GBM with him too, that'll make my life lesson really fun."

Regardless of our moment we shared, Daphne marched out of there in the best 'oh no you didn't' huff that I'd seen in a while.

About an hour later, and I was fine with waiting—I enjoyed my tea secretly while they tried to stir me up with the delay—Pyorin came in with a… I kid you not, wrinkled brown paper bag. And he looked a bit shifty eyed.

"Is this really happening?" He half-grumbled-half-accused me, before taking his wife's old seat.

I heard the doors lock behind us. His wife knew all about not ruining the good family name, I could tell.

We went through our favorites together, though he was understandably reluctant to begin with. I wanted to get him warmed up for an awkward conversation. Don't worry, I'll spare you the details. Except for one—we both are justifiably into Goblin women, and I think more people in the world need to know that, and here I have my little soapbox to do it right. There you have it, folks, even handsome, beefy Blood Elf men who are already married to Elf women agree. Goblin ladies can be lovely.

"… So is this your wife?" I pointed to last year's _Season's Best_ edition. Page twenty-one, a little old and grainy, but all the same, it was a portrait of a giant evergreen holiday tree set up by A'dal, two Elf women and a succubus… it looked like they were dancing in front of a shocked crowd of Shatthrath City citizens and orphans. Yep, those tiny outfits would have done that. Just as Daphne claimed.

Pyorin itched the back of his neck. "Well, it's kind of why I started reading it."

"Really?"

"I heard Daphne was in there. Which is just… I mean if your wife, or your fiancee, was in there, wouldn't you buy one?"

I'm quick as a whip, "You guys know about Meydiri, too?"

Pyorin avoided it, though Saturna was clearly filling them in on absolutely everything, "It happened last year, me reading these things."

Because of his wife? That's… sweet.

"You didn't tell your wife this?"

"She's not flattered by it. But I think she looks…" he trailed off, "I love seeing her again, from back then. That's the lady I fell in love with. I remember her and everything we said to each other at that one holiday party when she was in that cute costume. That was a nice time." He straightened himself out, "That was a nice thing for Kael'thas to do, for Belorim and for all of us. We all got presents, the kids enjoyed it, too. They wore these cute costumes… it was a mash-up of Hallow's End and Winter's Veil, I think. Since Belorim was that kind of kid. He wanted to wear a cat costume for some reason, even though it was a winter holiday. Heh, what a great kid he was." Pyorin sat up, "What a great boost for morale that was for us, can you imagine? Right in the middle of a war. I think it got us through the second half of that whole conflict. Although, Kael did get a lump of coal in his stocking. Heh. Greatfather Winter does have a sense of humor."

"Do you believe in Greatfather Winter?"

"Haha! What? I… well, after that party? We were the worst people for him to visit, but he did. He gave us these… really awful joke presents. But I did learn from the experience. Yeah, he's real. He's a real Dwarf that can get an attitude with you. And you should have seen how he left it… I wasn't there, but I hear old GW just snapped his fingers and disappeared. So it never mattered that the girls threw some nets and ropes around him in Shat City."

Shat City. A vengeful Sunfury would call it that, back in the day. "So if the old Dwarf could've just left, why did he wait hours through a rotten Sunfury party?"

Pyorin tapped the picture of the naughty Elf helpers again, to make his point. Hrm, one was a succubus. I hadn't noticed that prior.

"Yeah. I guess I would have let it happen, too." We both stared, getting lost in the picture. Until Pyorin covered the dancing blonde Daphne with his hand.

"So…"

"…So."

Then I whined, "Please don't tell me I'm searching for a Dwarf that's only waiting to teach me some stupid lesson about being a grump this holiday season? If he has the power to just up and disappear?"

"But a lot of people are complaining, Turaho, two factions over, that Greatfather Winter did not just up and disappear." Pyorin lifted an instructive finger.

Either Pyorin was being stupid for helping me, or Kael'thas and his crew definitely did not have Greatfather Winter. But then, why would the Blood Elves go through all that effort to try and cover it up? Why would Saturna trek so far to Thunderbluff if she didn't feel there was viable evidence against them? Why would the Night Elves accuse the Blood Elves if they knew Greatfather Winter, and knew him better, that he could just magic himself out of any mess?

It must not have been so easy. Someone very powerful and talented must have him, then. And so that brought be back around to Kael'thas. Unless… No. I would tear all my hair out if, after Kael'thas believed he had perfected the binds to hold Greatfather Winter in some dungeon to maybe harness his power or something, the old Dwarf was just messing with all of us _again._ I knew that I would seriously go and jump off the Great Lift if I could still find it. I wouldn't _care_ if it had been a wonderful life, this whole unbelievably painful thing would be a giant, friggin… piece of crap. Ugh!

I tried not to think about it at all. Maybe it's just easier for his _Elves_ to believe in holiday magic. I'm not bitter or anything. Well, moreso than I already am.

Then I nodded as if I was on his side, still, and not completely stressed out. I didn't expect Pyorin to fall for my act fully. For some guys, confiding about the GBM together is like when my female cousins bond over gossip about who Chief Thunder-Skins is currently dating, of the Elite Tauren Chieftans or something. I guess? What do I know about women anyway. Crap! I need to send that letter to Meydiri, speaking of…

"So, you also don't think Kael'thas has a good reason to kidnap Greatfather Winter these days?"

"It's probably the only way to guarantee he'll get presents this year, that's all I can think of."

I averted my eyes. It was a damned good back-handed insult and I didn't want to give away that I really enjoyed it. And that it betrayed something else.

"Your wife seems to disagree. She thinks Kael'thas has been a very good boy, this year. You guys fight about that a lot, don't you?"

"Daphne doesn't think that Kael'thas did it. And I didn't say he was guilty either, did I?"

He was digging himself deeper in though, by being defensive.

"If you think Kael'thas needs help…" I let my real meaning linger, I'm in a position to twist his arm."

"You want to destroy him and everything we stand for."

"Uh, that's going a little too far. I like Blood Elves." I amended when he stared, "Generally. I like Saturna."

Welp, that was a slip.

"Yeah, we all do."

And that was a commiseration. Geez! I bet then that they all played boudoir freeze-tag back in the day. Why did I add the freeze part? Probably because, every once in a while, someone like Pyorin got frozen out by 'just a friend', like Saturna, ice cold!

I'm still funny, you can laugh.

"So you can't think of any motivation at all for Kael'thas-fame, notoriety, to threaten someone in the Alliance, something like that-which would drive him to have Greatfather Winter kidnapped? Something I and other members of the Horde might understand, a threat to his honor, his heritage… If it's itching you, I promise I can scratch it. Good. And, I can be discreet. I have eyes, I can see how things are around here, the newspapers never mentioning the real truth, everyone calling Kael'thas a hero when he isn't."

"Kael'thas is a hero. He might have had a long journey, a dark one, but he made it. We made it."

"You mean, you all dragged him kicking and screaming back onto the throne."

"Kael'thas is my hero." Pyorin said it again, like he needed to breathe it, drink it in order to survive. "You try having as many demons as he has, or had. And then still surviving to do the right thing. Even when other people, like you, can't let go of that past." He leaned back in the chair, "Try it someday and see, Tauren. And then, to have Illidan Stormrage on his back of all things…"

"What does Illidan have to do with it?"

"Illidan has everything to do with it. Always. He's in Kael'thas' hair, pretty much literally. He can never get him out."

"Even today? You sure?"

"We watch for Illidan even today." He nodded like the head man he was, in front of his royal guards at muster every morning, "Yes, we do."

Pyorin didn't mean it in an 'Illy-Kael are still planning world domination' way. Pyorin feared Illidan, even though he was nowhere around Quel'thalas. I would have to keep guessing why until I met up with Illidan. I supposed Kael'thas would summon the two of us someplace at o'dark thirty, while Saturna was fast asleep.

And that made me worry, how did Kael'thas send messages to Illidan? I guessed we weren't going to surprise him. Also, how mad would Pyorin be with me and Kael'thas when he found out we ignored all his careful vigilant efforts? Ah well, a little sweet revenge for me.

"Maybe Kael'thas took Greatfather Winter because Illidan wanted him."

"Why would Illidan Stormrage want Greatfather Winter?" Pyorin thought that funny.

I immediately knew I stepped wrong. Pyorin was genuinely amused by the idea.

"Maybe the Night Elves do. The old Dwarf was in Darnassus before they brought him to Thunderbluff, where everyone claimed the Blood Elves were behind his disappearance. There's gotta be racial rivalry beneath all this, Blood Elves versus Night Elves, Saturna's Bloodknights versus… the rogues of Darnassus."

Pyorin hesitated. I'd hit on something, there. Nice to see it confirmed from within the Nexus. So they talked it over too, a lot. It wasn't just accusations coming from the Alliance side.

"Who else is a member of the Knights of the Blood Nexus? Other than Saturna Whiteblade, Fennore Immortal, Sunthraze the Sly, you and your wife? Isn't Liadrin one?"

"That's classified."

I leaned in, "It's not all that classified."

"Why should I make it easier for you? If you can get Saturna to order me to say, then I'll say it. Until then…" he shook his head at me.

Daphne was sure Kael'thas didn't do it. Pyorin was afraid that he did. Kael'thas was covering up what he did on the night of the kidnapping, and his father-in-law Lord Byorn felt concerned enough about it to help cover it up, too. Saturna's opinion didn't matter because, guilty or not, she was going to back up her husband. Her marriage, her money, her reputation, too much was at stake. I counted three people so far, acting like Kael'thas did it, including the man himself, and one, who was the most intelligent of Saturna's henchmen so far, Lady Daphne, being very sure that Kael'thas was innocent.

Could it have been the why, you know, the circumstances behind what happened, rather than whether or not it occurred, that Kael'thas' inner circle was undecided about?

I wasn't going to show how stumped I was starting to feel. Really, Pyorin and Daphne had told me the same thing. They worked for Kael'thas as Sunfury. The weird holiday party way back when was just that-a freakish Tempest Keep party that for some reason required a kidnapped Dwarf. No solid connection to now. The Knights of the Blood Nexus were real and they were loyal to Kael'thas. And the Night Elf rogues, like Alessandre (rest in peace), were in on it too and the Nexites knew all about that.

Things were flowing about the way Meydiri theorized, that this was about a Night Elf problem. It was my only solid motivation for Kael'thas. So, the Blood Elves were getting on their nerves about their World Tree, somehow. But why? Would Kael'thas take Great Father Winter away to sabotage that World Tree? If so, then shouldn't the Cenarion Circle be involved by now? Maybe that was coming.

I almost ended the meeting right there, almost. I glanced down at the magazine. A pretty Goblin girl in something slinky, lounging on a rocket sort of reminded me…

"You said… Illidan was literally in Kael'thas' hair. Like, that was exactly his problem. You meant that?"

"Kael'thas isn't so vain."

Was Pyorin really meatheaded enough to just tell on him? I was about to hit the jackpot. I asked it innocently, man-to-man.

"Aw, come on. If Kael'thas did do it to impress his wife, then who could blame him? It doesn't look exactly that bad, I'll admit. And he seems the type to me to be perpetually in the doghouse with Saturna."

Yep, I took shots at both of his idols, to see where that landed me. A Bloodknight should take the bait, an insult to king and his order.

"Kael'thas and Saturna usually get along just fine, not that it's any of our business. Those two are madly in love after all these years, actually—"

"Emphasis on the word 'mad.'"

"You think he has to try out a new hairstyle and that's going to impress her? You're making assumptions about vain Elves again. Look—" he tried to cut me off before another insult I had ready, "Not to be weird or anything but Kael'thas is a good-looking guy. It even annoyed the hell out of us at the Black Temple and at Tempest Keep, to always be competing with him for women, even when he wasn't trying. His hair is darkened because he enslaved Illidan, and that means he's got all that junk in his system. He has the powers of the old Demon Lord of Outland running through his veins, ontop of being a Bloodmage and all that. So it manifests as dark hair. That's not as bad as demon horns. He looks fine."

Point and check. It also explained how Kael'thas could arrange a meeting with Illidan at the drop of a hat.

"Is Kael'thas actually a Felblood Elf? He has horns, you said. He covers them up with magic." No, Pyorin hadn't said, but I wasn't going to miss my chance to take it there. If there was some fel craving involved, and Kael'thas needed a regular supply of demon magic to cope with whatever his issue was, then that meant the Burning Legion was probably still involved, somehow. Less surprising considering Kael'thas' vile history. I felt like a fool already for jumping right over that.

Pyorin could have gone in a few directions with my latest bait. Outright denial felt too obvious, I bet. "That doesn't stop Saturna from sleeping with him, so what? The man is fine."

I needed it confirmed. To take it as high as Sylvanas herself, especially once she was in Silvermoon, I needed someone close to Kael'thas to come out and say it.

"So then, our worst fears are confirmed. Kael'thas is, in fact, a Fel Elf."

I overreached. It's like Pyorin saw me tiptoeing, with big obvious Tauren steps, away from the trap I laid, that time.

He kept his mouth shut and stared me down. I waited for him to give over to speaking again, for far longer than I was comfortable. He had excellent training, alright.

"I have to keep a promise to someone," I wriggled out of it. "Next time, just subscribe to GBM as a deluxe member. They'll send you a scrying orb that can transmit all the newest issues, then project them on the wall. All over the wall, in vibrant color."

He lost the start of what I said, so fascinated by the last part, "…What? Really? How do I—"

"Pay per month. It's discreet. If you can cover for one funny scrying orb in the mail and leave it on your desk at home, like it's nothing… she'll never accuse you again. You can encode it and everything." I have a house full of family members for roommates, remember?

"It's not like I'm in any real trouble with Daphs, but… Hey, thanks for that, man." He looked at me, mystified. The sage Tauren again, speaking about the mysteries of life. The life of a dirty as a dog Pathfinder who has a secret fetish for the Venture Co. Goblins he investigates. Also, the Elf women.

I got up to leave, I was exhausted. I didn't have his stamina. Not so unusual when you're up against a tank. "No problem."

"Hey, mind if I eat these?" He meant the cold tea sandwiches Daphne left. Well, I ate a lot of them, but left a couple.

"Sure." I opened the door. Pyorin even helpfully showed me how to undo the lock from the inside first, which surprised the guards on the other side, when I exited. "Oh, and Pyorin the Tank?"

"Eyup?" He was busy having his secret lunch, and flipping pages.

"…Enjoy your magazine."

I shut the door and laughed to myself. Moments later, I heard an exclamation, _"Woah! The Kaja-Cola Flava Girls are getting back together? Nice."_

Wow, that really is great news!

Next, a tinny voice whispered up from my beaded vest, _"Fiesta Lime Trixany is pretty much the best one in that group, I think."_

It was Fitz. I wondered how he got a hold of Bonnie's marbles, but then I was distracted, "Who? I'm more into Mega Meghan Mango, myself."

" _The only Tauren gal in the group? You would, you fink."_

"Fitz, how's Bonnie doing? Can you get a message to her and promise not to be an ass about it?"

" _Eh… she's kinda right here. But she's sleeping. I don't wanna wake her up."_

"Woah! Good job, Fitzy!" Secretly talking to the most notorious Venture Co. supervisor while strolling around in the fancy Sunspire palace is surreal, I tell ya what.

" _Not like that. We just took a walk down to the lake."_

In broad daylight? Oh, it was probably night time there. They were on the other side of the world, on another date. Probably stargazing, cudding… Aw, those guys!

"Hey Fitz, tell her thank you about the hair tip. And that, now, I'm about to go see somebody's boss thanks to her, but I'll be fine. Well, the brother of somebody's boss."

" _Who? You in some kinda trouble, Turhao? Be straight with me now."_

Goblins. You say the word 'boss' in front of them and they freak out like Gallywix himself is about to explode. It's like yelling 'fire!' in a crowded queue at the auction house. People drop their stuff and run screaming. Then, watch all the auctioneers just stand there, smiling at the free product while the building burns down. At least that's what happened, twice, in the Valley of Honor… The Horde and its shady safety regulations and even shadier auctioneers.

"I can't explain, but I'm about to meet a very important Night Elf man." Then I did go on and brag, "It's only a Stormrage."

" _Which one! Is it Malfurion? I secretly LOVE Malfurion. Hey, can you get me his pawprint? That'd sell big! Or, wait—is it a handprint? A swatch of his hair, then. Is that too creepy? Maybe while he ain't lookin' you can sneak me one. Ya got scissors? Ya need the really sharp scissors, for cuttin' hair, mind, if you want it done right, and quick. No mangled hair ya might get off a battlefield, I tried that, but this one time…"_

See? Even evil Venture Co. Goblins do. Everyone loves Malfurion.

But then, Fitz fizzled out. Bonnie must have awakened from her nap. I bet he wouldn't tell her. He'd do anything to keep an advantage over that girl, I suspected.

Another thing I suspected then, but was afraid to accept? Remember, I said I keep track of the small details, I'm good at stringing things together. Daphne had said it, but Saturna had already said it. In a way, Mey had said it too, and Alessandre also alluded to it, in everything that he did, while he was alive.

This thing went deeper than I could have imagined.

And now I pretty much had confirmation, that Kael'thas had a lot of fel in his system. Forget the Twilight Cultists, this was rubbing up dangerously against Legion bullcrap, and I didn't like that. Or possibly both. What if the Twilight Cultists and the Burning Legion were both after something big?

Soon would be time for me to talk to the maniacal man who once called himself 'a god', that the world would need him that badly if the Burning Legion ever bothered us again in a real way.

For the second time since seeing Kael'thas burn a man alive, I started to get truly frightened on this mission. And here I thought I'd recovered from that, somewhat.

Illidan. Illidan Stormrage.

How did I even dare to question him? I was a lowly Sunwalker, a Pathfinder, a mere Tauren, and starting to feel like much less.

This Greatfather Winter jerk had _better_ be real for all the crap I was going through…


	18. Keeping Up With The Sunstriders

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Because you also tuned in for the scandalous, super awkward Kael'thas moments™ too, right? Also _A Bad Outland Tattoo, Part II_ is still coming, don't worry.

Are they worse than the Kardashians? Discuss.

* * *

 **Chapter 16: Keeping Up With the Sunstriders**

Remember that I said I like to trust my gut and make things up as I go along? I'd been kicking around the Illidan thing in the back of my mind, since I first got this assignment. I knew that Kael'thas and Illidan were in cahoots back in Outland, at least for a while before one of them turned… Heh, I bet when you ask each of them who turned, they say the other one. So I won't mince the details… But I kept the ole' Illidan card in my back pocket sort of as a last resort. Something I could fall back on and use to yank the Blood Elves around, absolutely all of them, since too many world leaders in the know, Horde and Alliance, behave as if it's too true. They dance around Kael'thas and Illidan like there's still some dangerous drama going on today.

I just didn't think I'd have to get the ace out of my sleeve so fast.

You know, in the end… it was another way for Kael'thas to be good at what he does, though I hate admitting it. I wasn't about to get ahead because of the Illidan thing, I was actually falling behind because of it. I was down an option. Back in his office, Kael'thas had wanted to pressure me, to squeeze me and see what happened. Well, yes, now I was… let's say, emptier for it. If Illidan did not give me any good leads, and then I knew I couldn't use the Sylvanas stick to poke Kael'thas anymore… Hrmph. Everything now depended on Illidan.

While I was sitting in my room, dreading all of this, a footman came and delivered the following note.

 _The King and Queen of Quel'thalas cordially invite you to supper.  
9 o'clock  
(This means white tie is required.)_

It was in Saturna's handwriting. Well, I held the man up and jotted something down on the other side of the card.

 _Sorry, getting a burger!_

The footman scowled at me for putting him in this position.

"Oh, my bad, I almost forgot…" I couldn't help giving him a little glimmer of false hope, "Know any good burger places around here?"

' **S** altheril's Haven has really gone downhill,' everyone kept saying as I progressed beyond the city and through the country side, asking for directions. Fools. All those warnings only meant I was going to exactly the right spot for greasy non-Elf food.

No, I did not have time to go and get a hamburger when I was supposed to be searching for a missing person. But somewhere in me, I think I also felt it might be a final supper—my last good meal before I met Illidan Stormrage and he gutted me on sight for being such a presumptuous prick as to even go and see him about a holiday Dwarf in a red suit.

Mey keeps telling me that I can get too negative at times. You think so?

I sat alone at my table, people watching and taking a mild interest in what passed for alcohol at Saltheril's. Suntouched Special Reserve was supposed to be the best. This other strange concoction they served me was something near to flat champagne. To his credit, Saltheril himself did wander by at one point that evening, and he tried to offer-better-service-slash-apologize for the place.

Saltheril griped, "It's because no one wants to run out and get the good stuff anymore."

"You don't say."

"I used to offer a good amount of silver… Springpaw Appetizers, and we even had a fireworks show. All invitation-only, too." His voice was gravelly, as if what he'd really been doing all this time was drinking, chain-smoking and giving up a lot…

I shuddered, after having another sip of this strange, orange drink in the graying glass flute. "You don't… say."

"It's like the kids these days hate exercise! No one ever finishes the errand, or if they do, they don't walk back here. They must walk off with the good stuff. I think they all like to abandon me, no matter how nice we are at the start. Kids today! No one wants to do a messenger quest anymore…" Saltheril wandered off finally and I was grateful for it.

Oh, the burger? Juicy! I did wonder what they were making them out of, though, if Saltheriel couldn't get people to trek too far from the local environs for his supplies. I had a decent view of the coast while I chewed and tried not to think too much. Never do that. That young adventurers were slaughtering screaming, gurgling murlocs and dragging them off the beach in patty-sized chunks clued me in a beat late, and by then, my so-called burger was already mostly in my stomach.

While I was all alone and away from Kael'thas and his cronies, it did occur to me that it was the perfect time for very useful spywork.

I poured a marble from the bag out into my hand. Innocent little glossy thing. But then, I rubbed it around between both of my palms until it was larger, the size of a blacknut. You ever seen one of those? Green skin on the outside, fits easily in your palm. I set it on the table then cupped it in my hand, so no one else could really see it. Time to review just exactly how Kael'thas had managed to put his Elf wife on the shelf, and also how that somehow became a weird white-tie supper invitation.

Oh, and maybe it'd also help me find Greatfather Winter, yadda yadda.

But I think we both know at this point that I mainly enjoy being nosey…

 _Saturna had all her armor on, even in their bedroom. Ouch._

" _Kael'thas, I don't understand. How could your interview with Turaho 'not go well'? You said you had an appointment with him, you made sure my father was there. Everything legal, above board… You did stay calm, didn't you?"_

 _There was an official-looking missive on the round, marble table nearby. Some scroll that Kael'thas kept eyeing, for her to hurry up and read. But Saturna had decided to pace back and forth instead. Their bedroom was what my cousin Brunho would call 'stupid-posh,' done in silver and deep, velvety navy blue. And if that sounds too High Elven for you, the King and Queen of Quel'thalas made up for all those moonwell hues with a blood-red chandelier, way high up. When those lights were on, the place would have had a completely other character, suddenly in deep luxurious purples, commanding reds… Right now, though, light coming through the mostly shuttered curtains made things look almost crystalline. And Kael'thas had seated himself at the edge of the bed, backlit just so and looking innocent in one of those soft white sunbeams. Like a version of himself that never went to Outland to murder and pillage thousands…_

" _Yes, Saturna. I stayed calm."_

 _Horse pockey._

" _Well? You showed up on time for your appointment, you gave Turaho everything he wanted. You were polite and said good morning, offered him water?"_

" _I'm sure I did offer."_

 _Oh my gods what a liar Kael'thas is. I hardly had a hello!_

" _So what changed? What made Turaho storm out like that and then start interrogating Daphne and Pyorin? And about back issues of Goblin Gentleman's Magazine? What the-"_

" _But darling, the security missive—"_

" _I don't care about the Ghostlands right now. Not at this specific… juncture." She put hands on her hips. Saturna's instinct was to yell at him, I could tell. But she was trying, hard, to keep it civil. All this time, she'd been prowling about, trying to get the evidence first. These two would have done this dance about a million times over the years. Kael'thas was determined to squeeze out of it this time._

" _Shoot—Saturna, I have another meeting. Sorry, darling. I almost forgot."_

" _Sit." She sneered, "…Down."_

 _Kael'thas carefully sat back on the bed._

" _Pyorin also tells me that we have a special guest coming over for the holiday."_

" _Well, not exactly –on- Winter's Veil. I know that's usually a family evening, and why would she wouldn't want to waste her time here when she could be over in Undercity, hanging holiday… skulls of her enemies or something, with um… Nathanos, I suppose."_

 _Rapid fire, finger raised,"Why is Warchief Sylvanas Windrunner coming over for Winter's Veil, Kael'thas?"_

" _She just is."_

" _Excuse me? I swear to the Light! If you pull that 'I'm your king obey me' crap right now, I will deck you! And if you don't think I can still do it, you've got another thing coming Kael'thas Sunstrider, because I never was ashamed of being accused of regicide before."_

 _Damn…_

" _That. Is getting old, Saturna."_

" _How old? By whose standards? We're bound to be stuck together for thousands of years, that stuff was like yesterday in comparison, right? And you know what really makes me tired? Every single time we have an issue, it comes down to this. Us, in here, trying really hard not to have a shouting match in front of the whole court, because of something reckless and world-ending that you tried to do!"_

" _Lower your voice."_

" _Oh? Do I have to speak sweetly to you now Kael'thas because you're trying to control what I say, or because you're trying to control what that Tauren investigator can hear, through our bedroom walls? And that's another thing I never agreed to. Why is Turaho even over there?"_

 _I really had the same question._

 _Kael'thas raised his hands, for her to wait, "It's…" then he couldn't explain, "A strategy."_

" _A strategy? What kind of a strategy? A Tauren investigator, practically in our bedroom walls. Please. Explain this to me."_

 _She sat in a chair at the table, across from him. The scrolling silver chair arms done in leaves and the tiniest, finely carved berries mismatched with their mood, badly._

" _Saturna, after what he did to us that night… I might have been somewhat angry—"_

" _Ah! I see, my husband, the first Bloodmage, the bane of Outland, threatening Anveena herself, and now, almost moonlighting as a Fel Elf—he acted out of anger, again!"_

" _Saturna."_

 _She had a short, calming breath. Looked away._

 _Kael'thas took his chance to roll his eyes at her. "What I mean is this. I didn't have to think very much about it or discuss it with you because these things are like instinct to me. When dealing with enemies, on this level, I don't have to. Keep him close. Keep him on his toes. Don't let him think things through all the way, keep him running, squeeze all his best tricks out of him…"_

 _Oh by Muu'sha above, I so called that._

"… _Give me enough time and I can herd him right out of here. I promise you, Turaho will be gone, and this Greatfather Winter crisis will be legally resolved, signed, sealed and tied up with a bow just the way you want it," Saturna was shaking her head, "…by New Years' if you'll just let me do my work!"_

 _She seethed, bent over her knees and covered her face. "Oh, Kael'thas…"_

" _And what's going on with you, anyway? You keep taking his side, Saturna. You're taking his side against me."_

" _I am not doing that."_

" _I warned you about this very thing in Mulgore. You got cozy with him, wrapped up in…" he didn't dare accuse her again, so Kael'thas sat up straight and corrected his tone, "What you were doing. That man knew a Night Elf rogue was out there,one of the worst ones in the book! He didn't tell you right away. Even after you warned him Alessandre might be involved, he still didn't come to you with it. I had to flush the Triumvir Rogue of Darnassus out myself to finally make you see."_

 _Even weirder, when Kael'thas made good sense and they started to seem like a normal couple, not a pair of crazies._

 _Saturna sat there, elbow on her knee. Before long, she pouted. But it was also something she'd trained herself out of doing, looking so sweet. So easy to go to, hug, and be with._

 _Kael'thas still was not brave enough to go to her. Even after all their trials together, he found his own reasons to be so shy around his wife as if it was their first date. So afraid to finally touch her, have her._

 _Saturna endured her vulnerable moment alone. After a time, she sat up in the chair, looking more queen-like._

 _Kael'thas' voice now sounded like he was bleeding out, "I might have… told Turaho that we were meeting. I sort of lied. I ordered him to come, actually. He never asked to see me, so I guess I did try to control things. I think that put him off. And then he and I argued, badly. Your father was no help, bringing up Sylvanas and Jaina—"_

" _Oh, and Goblin Gentleman's Magazine? You're going to blame that on my father too?"_

" _I don't know where GGM came up! I don't think I said anything about that, Saturna. But Turaho did say he's not done with me yet, either. And tonight, he…" Kael'thas let that last part trail off._

 _No one seemed to want to talk to Saturna about Illidan. I wondered if I should take my chance and say something? But Kael'thas would never follow through with that meeting though, if I put him in jeopardy with his wife. It also reminded me of what Alessandre once said, poor guy. Illidan was rumored to be afraid of Saturna. It was hard to imagine, let alone believe. But, that no one in their orbit wanted to openly discuss it… This was a family secret, something terrible that would hurt everyone if it came up again. That was the feeling that I got. And so, I found myself starting to believe the unbelievable._

 _Saturna only nodded at her husband Kael'thas. But she was just too sick of it to argue with him anymore._

 _He tried another tack, "I'm… I feel so bad, about forcing the pace of this. You're right, I don't always include you—"_

" _Where's this missive?" she was icy, now. Saturna reached back casually, then undid the scroll._

" _Saturna."_

 _She paused reading the thing. "Well, you want to get rid of me. Isn't that what this is? Tempest or Sunthraze could have clearly handled it but you want to make it my business. I might as well go, and give you the space away from me that you crave."_

" _Come kiss me, Saturna."_

 _I was on tenderhooks, for him, this time. He just… kept missing it by a little. You don't do that—you go and you kiss her, yourself. Comfort her, don't order her. There's courage and then there's commanding people-Kael'thas, come on!_

 _Saturna looked at Kael'thas, then dabbed at her eyes. But she had to stop, she had her metal gauntlets on. If it were me, I would have asked Saturna to take off her armor to get more comfortable. See? Kael'thas just sat there, aching, but refusing to try again._

 _The gauntlets finally broke Saturna out of it. She was dressed for work. No time for tears, she had work to do._

"… _Anything else, Kael'thas?"_

 _Kael'thas stood also. If she could go back to being the queen, he could play king just as frostily. "Yes. We need a distraction for tonight." He didn't say for whom, I noted. Oh, well it was probably for me. I keep forgetting I'm the bad guy._

 _Saturna thought this over, "I'm sure Lady Daphne could pull together a state dinner, something like that. Would it be more convincing if I sign the invitation myself?" Kael'thas stepped close to Saturna, but he was going for the table. I watched Saturna's eyes as he did that, watching his body, feeling his warmth come in so close, though his motives were so far away._

 _Kael'thas bent down and opened a drawer. He placed paper and a pen on the table for her. Then he lightly slid it closed again, politely positioned the chair for his lady to sit,"Thank you, Saturna. Probably best to keep it simple. Nothing suspicious."_

 _Out of habit, and it was a startingly good one on him, Kael'thas helped push Saturna's chair in at the small table. Light, swift, gentile movement of his hand. Kael'thas was most charming when he wasn't trying anything in particular, I'll give him that._

 _Saturna warmed up right away, it worked better than magic. She was fully engaged now as she sat and wrote, getting creative,"Kael'thas, why don't we invite absolutely everyone Turaho wants to interview? All at once. Whether he wants it or not, that'll tie him up for ages. He'll either use his time wisely, or we'll force him to waste it."_

 _Damn them._

" _Whatever you like." He loomed, darkly, geekily-you know, in only the kind of way Kael'thas Sunstrider could, while Saturna finished her note for me. She then looked for more paper. Kael'thas was right there, his hand coming up from the drawer with a larger pad of paper._

 _He said, "Guest list."_

" _Thank you, Kael." she whispered._

 _Saturna looked up at him standing so close. Being so helpful. And enjoying all those natural, manly vibes Kael'thas has got by breeding, even if he doesn't always know how to make use of them._

" _You okay, Saturna?"_

 _No, obviously not. It's because she wants you, even though she's angry, but you still don't know how to talk to girls, apparently, not even at a thousand and more years old, Kael'thas._

" _Just… trying to think what other names to jot down, Kael'thas. That's all." But that involved looking down at the page, where the writing tends to happen. She was lost in his eyes._

" _Alright."_

" _You're using new soap or something. New cologne, maybe?" she tried, and I could see her side of it, too. She shouldn't have to do all the seducing herself._

" _I guess."He sounded sullen._

 _Saturna cleared her throat and went back to writing. I watched Kael'thas keep his arms crossed, hands hidden up in his long red sleeves forever, dying to touch his own woman._

 _Those two. I could strangle those two. I couldn't tell what my frustration was about, whether I wanted them to just fall into to bed together already, or simply fall out finally, divorce and leave it. All this waiting… It was worse than watching 'The Goblins and the Beautiful' on the scrying orb at The Fitz on soap opera nights. Those were the slowest, saddest nights of all in that bar._

 _Saturna looked up at Kael'thas again, "…Good? I could go as deep as Liadrin and Sorn, too." Kael'thas startled, just a hair, the way a man does when he's been caught staring. "Kael'thas? Or is that too close to home?"_

" _Home. We had a home, once."_

 _Saturna wondered what he was talking about. I got it immediately. Poor guy. Yes, I really had it now. It wasn't just the physical part. He wanted his Saturna back. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before the jolly folly holiday Dwarf got flung in the mix. And the way Saturna played with me on the journey over, like we were long lost friends, it was really clear that she also missed having her best friend, her beau, her lover. Kael'thas. But their current situation wouldn't allow it. Maybe the trust was gone._

 _Funny as shit if that Dwarf ain't real. It's a holiday special begging for Greatfather Winter to wave his crooked, candy-cane magic wand over and fix. Oh well, sucks to be them! I'll happily send both husband and wife to jail together. Cause that's another way to fix it in my book._

 _I'm mean._

" _Nevermind. Probably better not to throw my entire Outland career at him, Saturna, so let's leave off my old advisor and the once Bloodknight Matriarch who investigated me back then. It won't work like a chew toy with that one. Turaho would get down into the bloody marrow of the old bones. I'd be on trial for a few more things before he finished."_

 _Kael'thas placed a hand on Saturna's back, felt her shoulder._

 _But Saturna finished writing the last line. "Alright, done. Let's get this to Daphne."_

" _No problem."And he let his hand slip down around her waist when she got to her feet._

" _Not you, the footman. He should take it. I'll call him now."Saturna smiled awkwardly, like when you almost walk into someone in the middle of the street because you're not paying attention. Kael'thas did try to kiss her anyway, but Saturna's head was turned._

 _No play for Mister Bloodmage._

 _Saturna pulled the gilded rope by the door. Some silent, elegant way of calling staff. A bell rang somewhere out in an anterior hallway, probably. I couldn't hear it._

" _See? It's nice when we can collaborate, Kael'thas. We make such lovely evil plans together, don't we?" she drifted near to him, but held off._

 _Kael'thas sort of leaned himself on the bedpost (it was a fancy canopy bed, of course it would be) and crossed his arms again. This time, he was attempting to look sly. He wasn't all that bad at it. His robes were nice, as always. Fitted round the arms and strong shoulders. The king would have a great tailor. Red and gold, that works too. Never a bad idea for your whole kingdom to match your favorite outfit. Lots of that blonde hair, women go for the long locks, I would know, I'm covered in it. And Kael's brunette underlights did have a mysterious quality. Alright, Kael, I can see it, do your thing. In that moment, he could have passed for one of those ladykillers on 'The Goblins and the Beautiful' for sure._

 _It did work on her. I admit to feeling jealous of Kael'thas for solid reasons. The man's got it whether us other men like it or not. Saturna was pretty distracted by the time the footman came in the door, gave his curt bow, waited for her instruction._

" _Oh-Yes. Jaeden, please deliver this to Lady Daphne…" She paused mid-sentence. The footman bowed again, took the letter Saturna handed off. Good ole' Footman Jaeden then waited to be dismissed. If it was so obvious to me, then it was more obvious to Jaeden. Like the courtiers in the throne room before, the footman had this look, like the Sunstrider royals were good entertainment. It wasn't so unkind this time around, but their staff were clearly eager for secret, goofy moments just like these._

 _Kael'thas was born to palace life, he would have been more used to misbehaving in front of servants, "Well? Anything else you want, Saturna?" And trust me, that Kael'thas was not talking about Jaeden. Not using that tone of voice._

 _Saturna looked Kael'thas over, realized that her introverted husband was, in fact, soliciting her. And, in front of someone else. And Kael'thas was succeeding. Hey, it was at the eleventh hour, but he rallied and made it._

" _I… we have a dinner tonight."_

" _Yeah? Maybe after the dinner—Thank you, Jaeden." Kael'thas made quick work of that once he scented her out, didn't he!_

 _The footman left and carefully closed the door. It took him too long, in my opinion. He was probably still listening._

"… _I don't know. It'd be nice?" Saturna was part coy, part afraid. That told me something really had gone wrong between them. Like when your girlfriend knows you too well, that you're up to something and she doesn't want to reward that kind of behavior? That was the tug in Saturna's voice. If but for one thing Kael'thas had done—and it was my job to find out what it was—she'd willingly go to him._

 _They stayed that way for a while._

 _Kael'thas pretended to yawn and stretch, like it wasn't an amazing idea that any guy would want, "Right now is good too."_

" _Ah, but you sent me away." Saturna got the scroll off the table, rolled it up and pointed it lightly in his direction. "I'd better follow your royal orders. After, if I'm not too exhausted by all this running around you make me do, my king… And tonight, we can't have any more freakish drama because you lose your temper or decide to do the maniacal villain thing for no reason, right?" She edged toward the door, he came with. "So of course, you'll have to um, behave. All day long and all night, through dinner, too. Are you that good?"_

" _Very. I will sit up and beg for you."_

 _Saturna blushed immediately and could not stop smiling, "I'm leaving. Remember, we all need you to play nice, Kael'thas. The whole Nexus, the whole kingdom. No more nasty schemes." But she was very proud and pleased for him in that moment,"Silly."_

 _He grinned, played at closing in. She winked and went out._

 _It would have been a good time to turn the miniature scrying orb off. I hadn't learned anything useful, really, just that Kael'thas and Saturna were going to uh, 'ride his phoenix' soon, or whatever, and I actually didn't need to know that. At all. But I did get to see Kael'thas prowl blissfully about the bedroom alone, like he felt like the big man in charge, only for him to stop, pull at his hair, then cuss himself about the appointment he'd already made with Illidan that same night. The meeting that I had arranged._

 _Kael'thas already had a hot date with me and Illidan, hot as hell. And Kael'thas couldn't skip out of it, either, because I was staying right next door._

 _His wife was about to be very disappointed in him, again. I was already amused, thinking up the various excuses Kael'thas would try to slide past her. Kael'thas suddenly having a headache after all that winding Saturna up earlier was going to be too obvious. Saturna would hate him for it, another horrible scheme of his. Well, unless he told her the truth. But, if there really was a terrible situation with Saturna and Illidan (beyond her attempting to demon-slay Illidan I mean), then maybe Kael'thas actually could not tell Saturna the truth because that might have been far, far worse for his love life._

" _Gods-Damn you, Turaho!"_

Muahaha…

I rubbed the ball around counter-clockwise in my palm, laughing to myself. Nice to be able to watch things that happened before. If I ever needed to re-watch it again, that was possible too. Excellent for recording evidence as well. Good ole' Bonnie. When the glass ball was small enough to put back in my pocket, I grinned.

But that only lasted until I rememberd that I was still completely stuck on this missing Dwarf case. And, still stuck at Saltheril's Haven. Ugh. Then, I had a dinner to try and avoid. What else was I going to do to further my case, though? Could I really afford to stay away from a setup with all the suspects in one convenient room, back at the palace? It was a trap and I knew it, but I had to go. With every passing hour, this kingdom was getting less and less fun.

Then I bubbled up, "Where is the hot and spicy, exciting Quel'thalas that cousin Brunho raved about?!"

People heard me and moved off, eventhough I was already far away from them, seated in my corner of the courtyard outside. Next, from my blindspot, I suppose-a young woman, not quite twenty, suddenly slipped into the seat across from mine. That was somehow, familiar, the way she did it. I couldn't put my finger on why.

She smirked, "You actually like this place?"

I wondered if she was a mind-reader as well.

The Blood Elf woman with white gold hair slipped a cigarette from a beautiful case then offered me one. I wondered if Kael'thas used cheap cigarette cases? I was surprised that everyone had his version. Maybe it was also his way of hiding his habit from Saturna, by using supplies he could easily ask a servant to fetch. Also annoying that flashy, expensive-looking cigarette cases are run-of-the-mill in the land of the Elves.

"I don't smoke. Yet." I grumbled. Whatever she wanted, I couldn't oblige. She was making me feel old and slow. And, the murloc burger was playing up. And, of course, I was engaged. Can't forget about that.

Good ole' engaged.

"Saltheril's is a dive bar, you're supposed to enjoy disliking it. It's not a haven now, it's ironic… which makes it cool. Right? But you look seriously mad. If you're so mad, then why don't you just leave?"

"Are you trying to… make friends, by getting me to go away?"

"No, you're just funny is all. And I wanted to be polite to the Tauren." she looked down at herself, uncomfortable. She had this pretty rose-red gown on, I guess it was a ballroom kinda gown. It was more than a notch better than what everyone else wore. But she also had these pretty standard slippers on her feet, and her hair looked like she'd slept on it, hardly ran her fingers through it. So, an aristocrat slumming it? Or, a thief showing off her latest prize in a place far from the Silvermoon City authorities? An investigator would notice these things. I tried to breathe out, ease off, if this was the kind of place where fellow villains gathered. I was a magnet to those, wasn't I? I must have missed The Fitz more than I realized.

"I was ashamed for my people, that we would treat you like such a stranger."

"Your people? Heh."

A smile edged at her lip, but then she bit down on it. "Call me Annie."

"Hello, Annie." Alright, I was starting to like her vibe, whoever she was. And she was pretty gorgeous, if I'm honest. She downplayed it with ratty shoes and a casual manner, hanging out beyond the ballroom, all to throw off would-be suitors. I'd seen the type before. "That is, good evening, Annie."

She laughed, knowingly. "Is that you flirting, Turaho?"

"You know my name—"

"You're the only Tauren here, or anywhere. Word gets around."

She was too fast with her answer though. Like she'd rehearsed her excuses. I decided to let her tell on herself. I became more stingy with conversation, while we both waited for the other shoe to drop.

"So… what did you think of the king's hair?"

"What king?"

I really did not expect Bonnie's mysterious informant to connect with this. At all. I needed to buy some time to think stuff through. Humor helps.

The girl lingered, looked nervous, then blew out cigarette smoke.

"…My father."

"You're—?"

"He's not a Fel Elf. Not yet. We're trying to stop him getting there, as a family. Please tell me you won't make it harder for us."

"Wait, so you're…? Princess Anthene?"

"I wish I'd been named after my grandfather instead. Would you believe that being named after the crazy invalid that threw herself at grandpa Anastarien, who the whole world views as some saintly holy person, that's somehow more pressure?" She rolled her eyes, "If I was named for King Anasterian, then I'd be… fallible. And I'd get, well, sympathy. I guess I know how that sounds." She frowned at herself again, "I'd have the potential to live up to that. I mean, the man died after thousands of years of perfect rule. Queen Anthene is the other Annie. Well, I won't be perfect no matter what they say or do to me. I won't."

"People don't normally march up and announce their TRP backstories to me. But thank you."

She let herself laugh, this time. Even that began to draw stares from across the place. She might have been among fellow counter-cultural peers, rebellious youths, the biggest fans of Saltheril's Haven, but the Princess of Quel'thalas wasn't free to be herself even here. I could see how a daughter of Kael'thas Sunstrider would be under immense pressure.

"So what do you think you're going to learn from Uncle Illidan? Want help thinking up fun questions?"

"What."

"Kael'thas hates when I call him that. Illidan's hardly anybody's uncle. You'd think Tyrande and Malfurion would have fixed that by now, but I guess every marriage, or sorry love triangle, has its problems." She blurt more laughter.

I shook my head at her, grinning. "How is it that you know everything you're not supposed to know?" then I stopped myself, "And hold on a minute—how did you know about my interest in Kael'thas' hair?"

"You asked one of mom's big Bloodknights about it."

"Right, but that's not how you asked me about it. You asked me about _me_ , about my asking the question. You weren't interested in the answer. Yeah, you warned me not to worry about the answer, but you more came in here concerned about who gave me the tip. Didn't you?"

She hugged her knee while balancing her foot on the chair cushion. Anthene would have been stepping on her gown in order to do so. I almost winced for her poor maid, having to get out those unnecessary dirt stains. Hey, some of my cousins keep house for a living, I've listened to that kind of rage build up in a housekeeper, complaining night after night, over a lifetime.

She tapped out her cigarette. "Look, I have a friend… if you need his help." She eyed me, ensuring that I got that it was a 'him', dunno why. "Just say so." Then, she shrugged, "He's _around_."

"Who's around? You don't look like a Venture Co. spy to me."

Bright, beautiful smile, "Uh, not sure what that is, but okay." Wait, why was I thinking that Supervisor Fitzsprocket would have connections in the royal house? I was way off, or the burger was putting me way off. I hoped she didn't hear my stomach gurgling. "Yes Investigator Turaho, I'm a spy I guess, in a way. But don't worry, daddy's not in any real danger. I'm not interested in taking my throne until it's been cleaned off. Completely. Alright? Do you get the difference?"

Now I was seeing the dicey Saturna Whiteblade in her, too. Anthene more resembled her father in facial features. She was attractive, in that golden sort of sin'dorei way, but that raven-like gaze, that was still there, somehow. Maybe it was the natural shadowing at the edges of her eyes, the darker grin she could find if she wanted.

"I'm my own little spy network." Princess Anthene beamed proudly. Oh, she could be cute.

"And what do you intend to do with me in your private little spy game?"

She twined away, innocent, "Don't let daddy catch you talking to me like that."

"Alright, I'll bite. What's the family history with Illidan that nobody talks about? What do you think I should ask him? You seem to want a favor somehow, in all of this."

She then folded her hands on the table the way I was doing. Business-like. No nonsense. Anthene was showing me that she was just like me and that she understood me. Anthene had found a way to intimidate me without resorting to a shark lawyer like her father, the king. He was sticks and stones, compared to this, treating a Tauren investigator like an actual person and being straight with me. She'd just invented fire.

What the heck was wrong with her parents?

Maybe the older Arthas-Outland generation had to be different. They had a lot of lies and games to sift through, maybe?

But the thing is, if nobody brings that kind of negative stuff to the party, why would you bring your own?

"I am the only one in my family who wants to rule after my father. There are enough political conflicts to tangle with, and rumors… People say that my oldest brother, Belorim, isn't legitimate. And there are others who say Chao'thas isn't legitimate, either." She didn't confirm or deny anything, even if she could. She just looked at me again, straight at me. Anthene didn't find any of it funny. "So maybe my brothers won't take the throne because they don't want their claims contested, for that to drag on through their entire lives and poison everything they try to do for this kingdom. Maybe that's even wise."

I tried not to look too shocked. Gods! Was this the level of scandal Kael'thas and Saturna were likely dealing with? They'd built their marriage on that kind of shaky foundation? I didn't mean to feel more empathetic toward Kael'thas, but his insecurity kind of hit home for me. I'd be going at the seams too, if that deep pain was lingering. And not everyone looked their problems right in the face and tried to heal them, the way Anthene was doing with me. Maybe Kael'thas had stuffed them down too far, and they were driving them crazy. Well, if Saturna had lied like a fiend to keep her man and got away with it too, then villainous Kael'thas Sunstrider had more than met his match in Saturna.

"This is brave of you." I meant it.

She went on, when that was obvious, and it should have been more obvious to me that her private feelings on the matter would be difficult for her to talk about, and another thing, I was the last person for her to discuss them with. "Turaho, all of this happened before my time. Before my mother… sacrificed everything to be with and stay with my father. Keep the Sunstriders going. Now that it's my turn, I need to know if my claim to the throne is truly legitimate. I've learned over the years… that Illidan would know. Illidan hears, knows, everything that my father does, somehow. Even what he thinks. I've researched it, or I've tried. But my father won't divulge anything substantial, and you can't learn about that in a book, can you? So will you ask him for me?"

"Ask Illidan."

"Yes."

"If you're…" hey, the dramatic pause came to me naturally, these Sunstriders were scaring the crap out of me! "… … Illidan's daughter."

She stopped, slapped hands down on her lap.

"No… do I look like a Night Elf to you? Dating them is one thing…"

I did hear that right, didn't I? Oooooh, Muu'sha. Please help these shiny, crazy Elf people!

I decided not to press that particular hot button, "So you want me to ask Illidan if he knows who your father is, if not Kael'thas? Maybe Kael'thas had a talk with your mother about it once, something like that, but then king and queen Sunstrider decided not to tell their only remaining heir, their daughter, the truth.

Anthene didn't say anything else. She slipped her cigarette case shut.

"This is deep. And, this is a family matter." I started to warn her, but there was no point. She was dead set. "Well, if I am fool enough to get involved, what's in it for me?"

She looked over my shoulder for a time, down at the beach. "I'm pretty sure I was the last one to see the old Dwarf alive. But they'd never restrict me, you see. They can't. I'm too important to the kingdom. And now that my brothers are too afraid to claim their inheritance, I'm my family's last hope."

And she was comfortable using it against them. A royal, spoiled brat. Anthene almost charmed me out of seeing this about her.

"You said you're not angry with your father."

"Does my knowing where the Dwarf was last, in Silvermoon, mean that my father did it?"

"You get only one point for that." I admitted. Then, I had to ask, "Do you hate your mother then, if not your father?"

I figured she enjoyed being direct and wouldn't mind. It was meant to be helpful curiosity.

Anthene gazed at me for a while, "My mother is a survivor. What was the point of her attempting to stab a Demon Lord through the middle in order to save my father, if she wasn't willing to tell him a few lies later, to keep things together? I'm sure it hurt him, but I stopped taking sides when I finally grew up. Dad's not a paragon of virtue either, and my mom? That's who she is. Ruthlessness has its uses, you can't look at her career and deny that." Anthene sucked her teeth, but I don't think she meant it in a dismissive way. I'd annoyed her with my assumption, "My mother is Saturna Whiteblade. Just because other people don't realize that, it doesn't suddenly mean she isn't one of the most terrifying and capable Bloodknights in existence."

I caught myself before laughing, "That's how you see her?"

"We'll find out one day that mom's part black dragon and it'll make more sense to the masses. People should just get over this thing where they think us… lightweight Elf women can't do damage." And her downtrodden expression became very feline and ferocious in flash, "That's pure fuckery."

Woah. I don't say this often but… What a woman!

"Fine, now you have two points." I made sure not to smile about it.

"Point, set, match?"

I stood from the table. "When you have a life's worth of experience as a Pathfinder, and then manage to become a Paladin too, then maybe we can pretend we're at the same level."

She looked up at me, kind of like a puppy. But oh, was she dangerous. "I'm going to be queen of the realm one day."

"If you can prove your father is innocent, if that's what you mean—why not do it now then, and clear up this whole mess?"

"That information is worth a whole… helluva lot." She shook her messy blonde head, playfully. "I sell to the highest bidder. Let's see what you fish up, first, Investigator Turaho. From Uncle Illidan. Then, we'll see."

"Illidan might not have the power you think—"

"Uncle Illydaddy? He's not so bad." She stood from the table as well, "I'm sure you'll figure out something if you want this thing over and done with before your oatmeal gets cold."

What did she know about my precious oatmeal!

 _I was still upset about my oatmeal?_

"Alright, then. If you'll excuse me." I bowed as best as I could manage with my unhappy bowels.

"Nope. You're coming with me. There are people going out of their minds to find you tonight and make sure you're at the palace for dinner. I want to be the conquering victrix for a change. My carriage is just up the hill."

"You tailed me?"

"I'm good."

I lifted my muzzle, eyeing her again for the first time. "So Kael'thas' daughter, the heiress to the Thalassian throne, is a rogue?"

A quick wink, then a wave for me to come jogging after her.

Friggin… rogues.

When the carriage ride started, I was distracted by the girl. Somewhere in there, she must have tapped the carriage wall in some subtle way, changed the driver's instructions. Because, turns out I was distracted long enough to realize we weren't traveling up the Dead Scar, the warpath the Scourge once ripped through the golden forest of Quel'thalas. No, we were going deeper in. Things weren't getting happier and more civilized. It was getting darker, no, smokier outside. I poked my head out and realized it wasn't just sunset. An ominous energy had settled on everything.

"Are you… you're kindapping me?"

"Hrm, why not? I toyed with the idea at first, but now I'm certain we should run off together."

I raised a brow, "Don't let my fiancée ever hear you talking to _me_ like that—"

She cut me off. It was a bad joke anyway, "Turaho, I get this feeling you're a safe guy. I can trust you with this next thing. If you're going before Illidan, I want you to be completely informed about the kal'dorei problem here in Quel'thalas. Well, if we can both manage that tonight. What do you say?" she smiled anxiously when I wouldn't buy in right away, "And you'll get to skip dinner?"

I sat back and let this crazy Darkmoon Faire ride that has become a very serious mission for the Horde and Azeroth for that matter, get even worse. I decided that I should have been used to it by then.

She cheered up at my silent acquiescence, in her dark roguish way, "Really? Is it going to be this easy for me to steal off with the great Turaho Runestalker?"

Oh, flattery. It'll work every single time with a big, handsome bull like me. But I kept it humble, "I'm not that great." Anthene though, I'll admit she was pretty good.

Hocks and hay alive! I swear, these Sunstriders are about as fun as a toothache on a good day. Kael'thas, after however many years of life, is hardcore enough to risk becoming a fel'dorei in his quest for power, but still talks to his wife like he's afraid of girls. Saturna's cute, but she's really no better—you'd think she'd show a little mercy after the hoops she jumped through, and then made Kael'thas jump through too, to keep their marriage together. And it's a small shame I didn't go to that dinner, because the sons—Prince Belorim and Prince Chao'thas-sound like their own personal train wrecks. (Then again, I do hear Belorim is married to a Tauren gal, so plus-points for that.) Illidan Stormrage himself somehow manages to be the creepy uncle. And now I've met sweet little, evil Princess Anthene, the future spy mistress, rogue queen of Quel'thalas. All they're missing is a rambunctious, cute-slash-spooky pet to stop this family from being too oppressive and keep the laugh-track going. _Doo-doo-doo-doo, snap! Snap!_

Then again, I do love messing with people first and foremost…

"So, Anthene. What's this about you dating a Night Elf?"


	19. Don't Tell Daddy

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : Thank you Billie Eilish, for all that you do.

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Don't Tell Daddy**

Wow, I can't believe I'm about to share this but…

((And then the next several lines of this entry are blacked out. It is confusing at first, until you skip down to Turaho's careful, clear handwriting when the journal resumes.))

Nevermind. There are certain things I can't really disclose here, so I went back and crossed out that paragraph. I know, it must seem like I'm ratting on everyone-Tauren, Blood Elf, Sunstrider, man and beast in this journal-but I'm not so dumb that I would put the future Queen of Quel'thalas in a bad spot and then ruin my life, Mey's life, and the lives of all our children together and their descendants for the next few thousand years. Or, however long Elf queens tend to live. (Not so much worried about Kael'thas. That man is evil and obviously doomed. Soon. Especially if I ever get _my_ say.)

So, I've redacted Anthene's uh, pretty raunchy explanation as to why she's taken particular interest in the Night Elves. The men, I mean. Or, one man. Whoever the poor bloke is, I fear for him.

Anthene's pretty much the bad guy.

Duh.

Anthene's servants are also in on it too. The guys riding on the back of the coach, I guess they're also called footmen, turned out they weren't surprised at all to be escorting their mistress into the Ghostlands. And I mean, the heart of the Ghostlands, not just one of the sad, sodden towns that's been ravaged by the Scourge but is still hanging on by a fingernail. We passed by ziggurats, went on two wheels to swerve out of sight of a giant, stitched together abomination. And those two big guys leaned down, in-time, to get the carriage back on fours again. So they'd run little missions like this plenty of times.

Then we got out, someplace about a thirty-minute ride from Tranquillien.

"We'll hoof it from here." She eyed my big cleft feet.

"Har har."

I looked back at what should have doubled as royal guardians when it came to the Sunstrider princess-in-line. But those two footmen were starting to share a silver flask of something.

Anthene winked, "…They're so into each other. They're only happy to have the time alone." Then aloud, "We'll be a few!"

Yes, it took them a beat. They really were suddenly and deeply distracted by one another. "Yes, princess!"

The other one went, "Shh, don't call her that out loud. It's a good thing you've got looks, Rhine."

Anthene nudged me as we started out, "See? Didn't I tell you!"

I blinked several times. Was it my business? Did this gossip matter? Weren't we currently on the verge of being in some serious danger? Why were we doing this at all when Anthene had a blatant Night Elf obsession. I couldn't think through any of it fast enough.

"Rhine and Clay—The queen, that is, my mom," she rolled eyes at herself, "she pegged them both to join her elect group of Bloodknights, but right now, I have them too distracted with each other. Right now, those two are way more useful, and loyal, to me."

" _Are_ they Paladins? Err—Bloodknights. Why couldn't I tell? Saturna's stooges tend to reek. I can usually smell those."

"Hush—"

Then I saw the midnight purple tents, the very tops of them, set with metal moon sigils. I ducked down and went into stalker mode, too.

Anthene got right into the dirt, to crawl. She was unafraid of any of the grime around, or what it might look like for her of all people to be doing this. I got a strange sense that she wanted to get caught, that she was proud of her clandestine efforts. Too proud.

She'd impressed me at first—I think I'll admit, again, to being charmed by yet another beautiful Elf girl—but she was sort of a novice, wasn't she? No rogue went out and risked their lives, their kingdom, their inheritance, or their carefully laid plans involving getting a favor asked of Illidan Stormrage himself, by having a bit of careless fun peeping at the enemy.

You might think so, but I know rogues better than most. The ones who are sharpened up, the ones who know the real rogue life, and have seen death, dealt it by their own hand… it stops being a game pretty quickly. It's because they've lived on when others, their comrades, haven't survived. They've earned their life of mystery, however glorious it might feel at times to know more and be more powerful than your average mortal man. Or, woman. Things come into focus and true rogues know what matters.

I'm not saying they're all good—just take Alessandre, or you would have taken him. But that's all gone, now.

You know, it's just strange, I felt a kind of twisted loyalty to him in those days. I guess… a part of me felt more determined whenever I thought of him. If, in the near future, I had to stick it to Kael'thas and truly bring him down—bring down his friends, his family, Saturna, his kingdom… I knew that I could always reach for that part of me that was mourning for Al, and find the strength to do it. I could go out, guns blazing, risk my standing in the Horde on my departed friend's behalf. Not really for the Alliance. But, yes, for Al. For Al, I could do it. It was a kind of strength, so I held onto it.

We stopped mere steps from the camp, behind a green-gray ledge of rock. I let out a long, anxious breath. The sun would fully set in a bit, but it was somehow night-dark here already. I hated the thought of being out here in true night. The Night Elves would have the advantage, obviously.

Anthene gestured. It was so dark, I almost missed it. She wordlessly indicated a very tough looking woman striding through the center of camp. She was holding this giant, sinister glaive and giving the orders. So this was their leader?

We waited for her to make her rounds.

I tried to stuff down my surprise that the Night Elves were here at all in Quel'thalas, and so organized at that. Their set up involved fresh supply crates from Darnassus. I even noticed wine bottles. Sadly, it implied that there was a whole network shoring them up. Not just other camps, but merchants, laborers. So was there was a covert Alliance… city someplace nearby? Or, more likely, a quiet port along one of the rivers here, something just inland of the sea.

I'll admit, this scared me. Really frightened me. It meant Tyrande or Malfurion or worse could just walk in here with a massive army if they wanted. Kael'thas wouldn't know about it.

I gripped her, "Hey. Your daddy _has_ to know about this! He's Kael'thas for goddess' sake!"

Anthene wrenched her shoulder away, eyes wide and furious. She pointed back at the camp, for me to pay attention.

Priestesses came to a stone column at the center of camp. They raised their hands in unison and then mystical white light glowed at the top.

Summoning circle? No, they weren't a bunch of warlocks. Calling on Elune's power for something? Maybe to smite Kael'thas?

Well, maybe not so much. I like to think Elune is powerful enough and tasteful enough to have handled that already if that's what they'd been asking their goddess for all this time.

I scratched my head, up between my horns. Anthene shook hers. After a while, I realized that she was backing off. She'd done it so silently, she could have easily left me there all night.

We sneaked around until we made it to within view of a road, and safety.

I gasped, "The HELL was that? And you're seriously not telling anyone about it? Nothing, not all this time?"

"That's the thing. I can never tell. I could never explain my being down here."

Again, a true and mature rogue would have outed themselves by now to their superiors. There were more important things in the world than someone having sorry feelings and not 'liking you' anymore. I gave Anthene a look, but she was too green to get it.

She went on, getting excited now that she could finally share it with someone important, "…But I'm sure they have lots of help doing it! Have you noticed their wine? It must have come a long way, right?"

I nodded, "And another thing about that wine. It's about morale. Keeping the troops up during a long, extended campaign away from home."

She furrowed her brow. Anthene evidently hated to admit her ignorance about the majority of it, "Were those proper sentinels? The ones who guard barrow dens and keep people like Illidan and Archdruid Fandral Staghelm locked up for millennia?"

I huffed, "Yeah. But the ones in that type of uniform would be backing up the Wardens. Wardens are the true jailors. It's impressive you noticed the difference from the regulars." I eyed her. Her hand was shaking, but then she used it to cover her mouth, then pretend to wipe sweat from her brow with a wrist. I uncrossed my arms. "…You alright?"

"They will invade."

"That wasn't an invasion force."

"You don't know that. And Sylvanas Windrunner isn't watching over us all, now. She can't."

I wasn't sure what to say about Sylvanas. People are so careful about their opinions on her these days. And I barely knew Anthene. She had been so confident earlier, but now she was deeply unsettled. It happened fast. Her moods reminded me of Kael'thas.

I gestured for us to get back off the road if we were going to discuss it. We started to wander for a while.

"I…" her voice trembled, "had so hoped that you would know. Understand what they're doing out here. My mother doesn't even know."

"Relax. I'm sure there are some things Saturna can't tell her own daughter. And she has to choose between security and her family all of the time, so I doubt it's anything personal."

Twilight was gone. We were walking underneath a night sky full of stars, now. Instinctively, we'd gone downhill, toward an opening in the trees. Sometimes your soul longs for open spaces, the sight and sound of water. I smiled at the moonlit brook we were following downstream. It was gentle. The happy burbling reminded me of Stonebull Lake at home. For that reason, and another one, I asked Anthene if we could stop.

"Have a seat and hear the water speak."

We did that for a while. Watching the soft ivory light on the soft water. Hearing the brook hope on, hope and wish all the horrid nightmare of the woods away. It would wind its way down from the great golden river close to the city, water the plants and animals clinging on. It was wiser and deeper and swifter than we knew. We knew nothing compared this brook that dared to be alive and sweet, even here.

I watched Anthene meld into where we were, beginning to sense what I did.

"…I think I like Tauren now."

I chuckled lightly, "Good."

I folded my hands together, listened until the water compelled me to give into my heart again and ask, "Why don't you reach out to your mother about what worries you? You said that you weren't angry with your parents, something about them being Sunstriders and all this aggressive taking risks and ordering around the kingdom and their family being essential… But I just don't believe you."

"You don't?" She tried not to sniffle.

"Do you think Saturna will never forgive you for coming down here to see the Night Elves on your own?"

And we weren't going to talk about the random kal'dorei stranger she'd decided to become involved with. Remember when I said I didn't want to worry anyone about that, so I redacted it? I gently avoided revisiting the subject again with Anthene. At least, for now. I had girl cousins who would explode at me if I said something even slightly amiss about one of their secret beaus. And Anthene had Kael'thas' blood running through her veins.

"Mother can't help being mad at _me_. She's frustrated that I won't swear to be the Light's loyal brainwashed stooge, and daddy Kael'thas probably has panic attacks about all the magic I'm naturally inclined to be excellent at, but refuse to learn. I'm completely happy. My life choice is _so_ the best."

I sighed, with a swish of new water going over large rocks downstream.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Just say it."

I looked up, at the stars. "Your Night Elf friend, he is not a random stranger. He can't be. Those camps? A curious Blood Elf, not even a skilled Sunstrider princess, could ever hope to sneak up on them. And this thing is too well organized… they're having fun using you, Princess Anthene."

"Well I already know he's connected to the camps, he told me—"

"Girl, I swear if you try to tell me your secret Night Elf lover is an honest liar, I might have to drown you."

"I'm saying I thought that might be a possibility, that the Night Elves are playing a game. But of course I'm using them right back."

"Great." I said with true sincerity, "Then tell me what they've given you so far, in exchange."

Anthene looked out at nothing. The cold realization would have made her feel even more empty.

"This is very funny, coming from me, but I'm going to say it anyway... There's more to life than fun sex with exotic strangers."

"No, it isn't like that, we haven't—"

I glared.

Breath welled up in her chest. She chewed the inside of her cheek, probably going over all the things she couldn't say. At least not to me.

"Think we've missed dinner, yet?" Anthene hugged her knees.

I waited a long time for her. But she wasn't going to give in and explain any more on her own.

"…Do you love him? Is the next King of Quel'thalas going to be a Night Elf?"

She had completely shut down. See? I told you it's tricky to press too hard with females—sorry, young women. I'm trying to be as kind as I can here. Women of all races should be treated kindly, carefully, in these matters. Or maybe it isn't about that, maybe it's just that Anthene is at a tender age.

And maybe it's not even a female thing. Something about this conversation made me think of cousin Brunho, sitting in a cathedral pew next to Lord Tyrosus. Near to tears about his cousin—me-my hopelessness. When our young people carry the weight of their forebears' sins, the sins of the prior generation… that can be so cruel. And what happens to them, by the time they dig themselves out from under it and realize they still have their own fight? Can you go to war like that, so crushed?

We grown people need to do a lot better. So I pulled myself together and became a Sunwalker, back in Thunderbluff. In a way, I'd done it for cousin Brunho. And I made up my mind that I was about to fix Anthene too.

"Come on, get up. We're going to go talk to your mother. Don't worry, I'm not crazy enough to recommend we bring your father in on this."

Anthene looked at me, open-mouthed.

"Let's go. Now."

"But…"

Anthene knew how much danger she was in already, though. Meant she did have the potential to become an excellent rogue. Seeking me out was really her lashing around in the dark, for an escape rope hanging down, down into the chasm she'd fallen into.

I watched her until she gave in. I let it be uncomfortable silence. I made sure she sensed this was the only way back up.

"But you'lll ask Illidan for me, won't you? You _will_."

I gave her my word.

Turned out we didn't need to wait long. When we got back, Queen Saturna and two more terrifying looking people sitting on Thalassian chargers had surrounded Anthene's carriage.

I watched Anthene slow pace and calculate every available option in her mind. Coming in prepared, with some palatable version of the truth was best of all.

I slowed my hooves down to match her pace, and show Anthene that she and I were on the same page.

She admitted, "…Thank you, Turaho. Your advice came just in the nick of time, I guess."

"You're welcome."

Saturna shook her head at me as I walked up.

"No, don't get in the carriage. Anthene, with me. Turaho, you take my horse."

So, mother and daughter were going to have their tough talk on the way home, in privacy.

I recognized Sunthraze, from the bar. This time, he looked very angry. The other one was a woman, leaning over the pommel of her saddle. She was a redhead too. Hers was a deeper shade, like wine. And she was being far too easy in the situation. I dunno, I just had a feeling. Like someone who spins a knife on a tavern table, for fun. She was the one I had to worry about.

I was notified that the horse's name was Scourgebane. It was either a veiled threat to me, or to the Ghostlands. Ironic, in a way, if you consider that Saturna could have only named her steed that after her kingdom was brought to its knees. Lil' late, know what I mean?

I have awful humor.

You might also think I looked funny up on that thing, but I didn't. It was a big charger meant for war, after all.

Tempest, she broke the silence. I remembered the name of the chief prankster's wife right on time.

"So, that was fun. Coming along to see the horrifying Night Elf ritual for ourselves, and then seeing you and the princess alone together, across the way."

Well. If anyone could in fact effectively sneak up on a camp of sentinels for reconnaissance, it would be a bunch of Saturna's Bloodknights. I'm sure the Night Elves would have never let them watch that little performance, then send it straight up to Kael'thas to analyze the hell out of, and stamp flat.

The Night Elves' days in the Ghostlands were now numbered.

Anyway, I was getting tired, so I wasn't having any of it. "I'm speaking with Illidan himself tonight. Don't try anything."

I don't know what it could have meant to them, I was just taking a chance.

Tempest started laughing. I expected that, least of all. Sunthraze remained decidedly silent.

"Do you think we're afraid of Illidan?"

I was starting to be more afraid of her, than Illidan. She managed some very good evil laughter. It set my fur on end.

"So you really don't know what Saturna did to him—"

Sunthraze warned, "Tempest…"

She sneered at me, "Our leader came back from what would shatter most women. Obliterate most people. And you were out here playing games with her daughter…" Tempest only raised that angry voice when her husband Sunthraze chided her again, "You're on THIN ICE, Tauren!"

 **T** urns out, that fancy state dinner was fabulous without me there. That is, until Saturna got passed a note on a silver tray, saying that their errant Tauren guest had run off with their only daughter. Now, I wasn't sure whether I was more afraid of A—not being able to talk to Illidan after all, for having pissed off daddy Kael'thas, or B—that I was still due to face Illidan Stormrage himself after pissing off Kael'thas.

The rest of the Bloodknights' evening had been them looking for us more to the south. You know, where the Scourge holdings are, and the ghosts and things? So they all had feared the worst, for hours.

When we finally arrived at the palace, it was clear that the whole Nexus was then being recalled, even the 'new recruits'. I worried about how many there actually were. One was bad enough, when I met Saturna back in Thunderbluff. More than five? Maybe ten? There were enough to search the entire Ghostlands and turn it over if they had to.

I stood in the throne room under heavy guard. I wondered when Princess Anthene might get around to explaining to her mother that it was her own fault, and that I was the one who got kidnapped. Good luck with that, Turaho!

One thing cheered me up, though. Mey would have been a riot in this situation. If Mey hadn't brained me for running off with a young, attractive Blood Elf princess by then, she would have cussed out Saturna and beat up a few of the guards for ever thinking me dishonorable. Well, it would be more rage that other people thought I'd be so eager to cheat on her. Mey liked to get angry in a lot of strange, fun ways.

Ugh! I did write her letter, but I never mailed it, did I? Why was I being so forgetful?

Anthene came in then, on her own. No sign of Saturna.

"He may go. Investigator Turaho kept us very safe and should be rewarded." Her voice echoed. Her eyes were wet, but she looked confident. I tried to read her, to let her see me reading her (if you can follow that) to see if she was alright. But Anthene had somehow got converted to being a lofty royal again.

So her mother Saturna had advised her to the extent of, 'Why are you sharing our secrets with a stranger? He's a Tauren, not even one of us.' Which… would have been correct. That's her daughter, I mean. Eventhough it does burn, in a way. I can handle it, though.

Thing is, someone like Anthene can't. She hasn't seen enough of the world to. I worried about whether Anthene had told her mother that she picked up someone, a Night Elf man, from one of those camps. No, he probably strolled along, pretended he wasn't affiliated. Maybe a fellow rogue like her, snooping around in a foreign kingdom. Having a lark, like those stories you hear of rogues writing funny things on the walls of Cutthroat Alley in Stormwind, in Orcish. She'd seen right through it, though. But that was not enough to protect her. Not at all. A daughter wouldn't get that. A mother would know it in her bones.

And had Anthene told her mother that she loved him? It was obvious enough to me.

Then again, Anthene was smart, even if young and broken-hearted. She would probably try to keep it secret for a while longer. A romance with a Night Elf, though? That was too explosive to play with at all. I didn't have the time, back in the woods, to work around to explaining that to Anthene. I'd hoped to have my little intervention on the way home in the carriage, where she wouldn't be able to scream at me and sprint off into the haunted woods if it went wrong. But I sure as hell did not expect Saturna Whiteblade herself to be sitting right there in front of the carriage, like a lioness at the scene of a kill.

I'd lived through that?

In the throne room, Sunthraze and Tempest looked meaner than ever before. And they didn't like hearing that I was going to get off easy. By the way, I was not going to let that 'you're on thin ice' crack just end there, so Tempest and I had managed to have a shouting match on the way up to Silvermoon. Sunthraze did the 'good husband' thing and left his wife to do as she pleased, read as—make and fix her own awkward problem. Now, both Bloodknights stood at rapt attention, hands just resting on their swords. Anthene had given the command, they refused to budge. Not good.

I bowed my head at Anthene, respectfully. The princess looked at us three, blinked away some anxiety over what else she might say, then gave up and simply left. I took my cue too.

Tempest took a step after me, teeth set, "I am not done with you…"

I hissed back, "Restrain your pet, Sunthraze."

She flared, "Why you—"

"Down, girl." And I think Sunthraze enjoyed saying that to his wife a little too much. His naughty smile distracted her long enough for me to escape.

Tempest is a lot taller than him, by the way. They make a funny-looking couple. But then, because of the size difference… Every once in a while, his power over her—his manly allure, let's call it—becomes very easy to see. She folds, about in half, and that's fun to watch.

I heard her saying, as I departed fast down the long corridor, "Why, what have I done? Anthene is not Saturna, this isn't settled and I'm going after him…" but then she fell off again, he probably gave her another dirty look, "I was only doing my job, Sunthraze."

"I'm tired, and I don't want to argue about this all night. There's doing your job love, and then there's making us look bad…"

Again, he stopped her from trailing me. Her greaves stopped stamping on the marble. And I bet she looked him up and down, too, " _I_ look bad?"

"Nice try. But your short jokes were far better when we first met. Like a lot of things."

She breathed in, almost lost it. I didn't dare turn my head to see. Probably, a worse version was playing out in my mind as their voices started to echo.

"Hey, you started it. You're the one who went there."

Then Sunthraze left. She forgot all about me and followed the other bait.

Alright, I guess he _is_ pretty clever.

You do have to wonder, though… what's his game? What does Sunthraze get out of protecting me?

Maybe he just wanted to get to bed, like he said. And it's not like I couldn't imagine why or who with. His wife was one of those crazy women who got that way because she was hot enough to keep getting away with it.

Or… (If I turned down my sex drive a moment to really think it through…)

You ever have a friend who's acting way too defensive? Like they're obviously covering up something they did, almost boasting about it?

I'd have to pay the Sunthrazes a visit later, whether I liked it or not.

One more thing, I didn't like how I'd committed a giant offense, and had seen something top-secret as well, but neither Saturna, nor Kaelt'has had communicated anything to me directly yet.

This was bad, very bad.

And, as luck would have it—I crashed into the rest of the family halfway down the corridor.

A young man with very rich yellow hair (Ma would accuse it of being saffron, she was a great cook), he raised a champagne glass at me and had to hold onto the wall a little to manage it. He was sloshed. I waited for the guards to make a big deal out of him spilling on the carpet. When they didn't, my unhappy suspicion was confirmed. This was the once crown prince Chao'thas Sunstrider.

"Proof!"

Oh Mu'usha above…

"Of what." I flatly returned, "Your majesties." I wanted to keep walking past them so bad. Oh, so bad.

I'd made it plural, because another man, about his height, was standing there too. Prince Belorim could never be missed. He had horns and hooves, but not like mine. This was the rumored—and in my opinion, evident—son of Illidan Stormrage. Saturna had birthed him. Kael'thas was the last person on Azeroth to ever let Illidan have something that could be construed as his own. So, Belorim passed as a Demon Hunter on a good day, and few Blood Elves made at thing of it. Well, not to his face, I suspected.

I stopped cold when a graceful Tauren woman slipped out of what must have been the dining room. I was a caught in a dream, waiting for her to stride over to me and announce that she was my backup from Thunderbluff.

White leathers, eagle feathers, beads as ice-blue as a winter sky. I made a conscious effort to keep my three-fingered hands to myself. Mu'usha, it had been far too long. I even imagined that she smelled like a campfire. Fresh ash, competing with the freshest air. I knew she was a shamaness at once. Shaman, especially women, learn to do this thing where the air sort of follows them around—actually, many relatives have explained to me. My momma even did it on her good days. It's the water in the air, the essences, the motes of water that are drawn to them, caught on their bodies like stuck spider webs, always at the verge of being called upon by these masters of the elements. Hey, rogues might smoke in back alleys to look cool. Shaman tend to bend air.

This was Belorim's wife.

…Damn him.

You know she had to be good in order to get married to Kael'thas' precious first son (his 'good son' if you ask me), and to have survived in the Sunstrider family this long. I didn't mean to be eyeing her, or I did, but seeing another Tauren after so long, especially such a comely one, it was like finally having a drink of water.

…Damn.

I know I keep saying that. Chao'thas had been talking that entire time. I interrupted whatever he thought was more important.

"I'm Turaho." I aimed my welcoming hand toward Belorim at the last moment. His wife couldn't have missed it, but she was the sort to valiantly ignore an indiscretion. I'd almost stepped into dangerous territory, speaking to her alone and ignoring the others.

Belorim nodded and gave my hand a firm shake. His brother, who was super drunk? Still busy going on at me as if I was a circus attraction.

"… I can't believe that I'm the only one in the family without a Tauren!"

Belorim sighed, "Chao'thas…"

"Or some… Tauren connection. Ma went all the way to Thunderbluff—"

"Please excuse him." Belorim didn't seem at all happy to be in the company of family.

Chao'thas blathered on, "Every single Sunstrider will have their own Tauren or Tauren accessory by morning, that's how it works, isn't it Belorim? This whole fool family is all about getting other people to scratch its own arse."

I arched a furry brow. "Wow. Astute observation, even while saused."

Belorim wanted to laugh, but couldn't. His wife, did it prettily for him. I politely asked for her name at alst.

"May. Or Shamaness Darkheart if you prefer. Dar'kah. It's how the The royals do. I think it's a Thalassian term of endearment-"

"It means night lily." Belorim reminded his wife, with a smile special for her.

I was more focused on the woman herself, "Really? My fiance's name is Mey. How do you spell it?" What was it about Tauren girls named May? All like playful, springtime fillies…

I put a scene of me and Aponi Whitemane rolling in strawberries back out of mind.

Ho, yes. It really had been too long.

"…My mother was a shamaness, too."

Belorim held his wife's hand. I got the attraction. The body of a male Elf, but with the essentials of a good-looking male of her own race. Horns, hooves. Alright, well he was a good looking Elf man, too. Something niggled at me… was Belorim a Stormrage, then? Were Malfurion, Illidan and Tyrande really all fine with not claiming him? That was bound to come up, soon. He looked more Blood Elf than anything.

Then it struck me. Belorim did not carry the gift of their line, whatever that was to the kal'dorei. So the Stormrages made the decision to abandon him.

A curse or a gift, I don't know—or maybe Kael'thas was that repellant.

"Investigator Turaho, thank you for watching over our sister."

I tried to stay calm in the presence of so much. Maybe Kael'thas' and Saturna's children hadn't done anything with themselves yet, but one day they might be the stars around which the Horde revolved. Nobody expected much out of Kael, but you know how that went.

"Of course."

"She… made a mistake. But I believe you were helping Annie to correct it."

Annie? Oh! Oh, how warm that was. I could see inside of their family, suddenly.

Belorim had nice energy. He lent himself more toward Saturna in temperament. Or else, the graciousness and gentility I picked up from Kael'thas before, that singular breath of fresh air before he had to go and insult Chief Baine, that had bloomed and was alive, beating bright in this one.

I had to shake his hand again. This time, with relief that he was not like his father and I was not in any trouble with him.

Dar'kah got it. And she laughed beautifully again.

Chao'thas was getting intolerable. "Oh, a mistake! Is that what we're calling it?" he had another sip of champagne and leaned on my shoulder, "I suppose the family would." He leaned in as if to whisper, but almost stumbled over me in his state, "We try to keep positive about the future Queen of Quel'thalas, but the Tauren is new exotic boyfriend, Belorim! It's so obvious."

"By 'the Tauren' you mean me." I wasn't going to help Anthene's brothers figure out she was dating a Night Elf if they didn't know already, "As in, you're speaking to the top Tauren investigator sent from Thunderbluff right now. I'm the one here to investigate your father the king." I set teeth, "You realize that?"

"Oh, oh! Look-He's already decided daddy Kael did it. This should be fun."

And then, on cue—and I wonder why I didn't suspect this would happen as well—two pretty silly looking women came out of the dining room and hovered around Prince Chao'thas like worker bees.

I glinted at the three of them together. Well, they weren't bees, but I bet they were working, alright. Not that I doubted Chao'thas wasn't a gargantuan ass while sober—he just seemed to be the type of man who would eschew the hard social work of keeping up good connections with even the trashiest types of women. It was simply easier for him to just hire some working girls to attend a family dinner and piss off his parents.

I needed to get off the tangent in my head, before I started ranting at the man himself, "Nice meeting you. I'd better head to bed, then."

I kept going. My head started to pound. This palace was starting to feel like a candy-colored madhouse!

"Investigator Runestalker?"

It was the shamaness. I could have only turned back for her.

"Yes, madam?"

"Belorim and I would be happy to see you at our lodge while you're here. To answer any questions."

"Kind of you. But I'm afraid I don't have time for tea…"

I also had come to a sad conclusion that Belorim, nice as it was to meet the nicer side of the family with enough good sense to marry one of my people, couldn't have had anything to contribute to my investigation and was only trying to be a good son. That is, run distraction on me, for his father's sake. That they were in the hallway at all at this hour when dinner was long over, and I should have been regarded as a bastard for absconding with their little sister was the other dead giveaway. So it was daddy Kael'thas' order that they delay me.

They did almost make it though, charming me.

That, and Chao'thas had every reason to be in bed with his best girlfriends by now. He was wasting money by the hour, wasn't he?

"It may not sound like anything at all but… I… I do make the best Mulgore spice cookies. I use authentic oats?" She smiled genuinely.

Belorim gave his wife a hug, "We'd be honored to have you. And, to help. I owe Greatfather Winter a lot, you see. I do remember when I first met him, as a boy at Tempest Keep." He swept a hand through his hair, looked down. Might have blushed, "It's just too long a story for tonight."

It was so a trap.

Don't take the bait. Don't take the bait…

"I'd better get going. Maybe I will. I'd like to."

"Supper? Tomorrow?"

"…Sure."

Turaho, you old fool. Oh, but they were a charming couple. They were getting me very curious. Also, Mulgore spice cookies tasted a lot like my favorite oatmeal.

I finally escaped to my room. There was nowhere else to go, really. A silver tray of food was already in there. Gods above, I was afraid to eat it.

I listened, hard, for any voices next door. Nothing. I still had this feeling that someone was over there, though. Somebody had to be in there. I wanted to check my marbles, but I just couldn't handle that. My hand was shaking. I'd drop the marbles or something, and then Kael'thas would leap up and notice the tiny marble I'd put in his own room. Like that would even tip him off, the sound… but my mind was racing. I was panicking badly, and I knew it.

It was dumb, maybe, but I disarmed, all the way. I was exhausted. I got under the covers and went to sleep.

Hours later, and I was deep under by then… someone let themselves into my room.

Kael'thas came and stood by my bed, silently watching me sleep.

I knew it was him.

Who else would be psychotic enough?

"I swear I never touched your daughter."

"Like I'm about to not touch you?"

 _Dammit. And I was so close, too._


	20. Illidaddy

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note:** This is 20 pages. Get some hot cocoa. Take your time. _I SO loved writing this one!_

* * *

 **Chapter 18: A Bad Outland Tattoo, part 2: Illidaddy**

You gotta give it to him. I ran upstairs and hid under the covers like a little kid, I was so scared and tired by the end of it. Kael'thas had totally unnerved me, so I forgot that he slept nextdoor. I mean, I knew he slept nextdoor, but I hadn't been able to focus, my brain couldn't put two and two together, the state I was in.

And who forgets about Kael'thas? That's like forgetting your house burned down.

Or, your favorite Night Elf.

Then, weight at the end of my bed. He had a seat.

Kael'thas said, "Go on. It's only me."

His voice was eerily kind. I don't know why that's the worst way to wake a person up, but it was. It was intimate, coming from the last man in the world I needed to see after the day I had. Aside from Illidan.

I turned down the covers, sat up. In my head though, I vaulted off the bed and smashed through the pretty red stained glass window to fall about thirty stories to a better doom.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Kael'thas Sunstrider sat cross-legged in white socks and black and gold phoenix pajamas at the end of my bed, like it was a damn slumber party. If I'd had a vision of him doing that months ago, I would have refused to come all the way to Silvermoon. That's how dreadful the room and the ruby night lights looked then, twisting, almost contorting around him. Nevermind the stand-out white socks and unusually fashionable pajamas. Kael'thas, he was doing that with the nightlights somehow. I never figured out how.

He curled a lip at me. "I knew."

"You did, did you? Sorry that I stole your chocolate chip cookie recipe. Saturna and I chatted about it the whole way over here. It was never about Greatfather Winter. But I figured, if I could fit fel magic, arcane crystals and a half-dead Naaru on chocolate cookies…" I was being an ass on purpose. I felt so uncomfortable, I'd have done anything to wriggle out from his awful gaze. I muttered, at least trying to finish, "I might put the whole Bilgewater Cartel out of business."

It's a wonder Kael'thas did not take my head off. Not only was that a horrible joke… Alright, it was just a really horrible joke, I admit it.

Kael'thas almost smiled at me. "I already knew, about the camps. I knew that Anthene was seeing someone secretly, out there. I just didn't know how to break it to Saturna. It would have meant I was spying on my own wife, her work out there in the Ghostlands. Right? You did me a favor. It's the only reason you're not locked up in the keep right now."

I looked down at the blanket, refusing to be afraid of him. Mostly.

Then he had to go and say it, "Anyway, Anthene was safe."

Anger empowered me out of nowhere, "The Night Elves have practically turned your daughter into a double-agent, Kael'thas. You do understand that? One of them is seducing her. Are you really saying that you didn't do anything about it, all this time, to avoid having yet another stupid fight with your wife?"

"…What?"

Oh shit.

Uh oh…

… _Crap._

"Is Anthene… she wouldn't be with… That wouldn't happen. A Night Elf?"

No wonder he was being so nice…. _Well, crappity-crap!_

Normally, I'm so much better than that. I must have been truly sleepy, and rattled by the Ghostlands, Bloodknights, that awful Chao'thas, everything… to tell Anthene's biggest secret to her own father, the last one who needed to know.

Next, and it was menacing, "Who is it, Turaho?"

"I don't know! I seriously don't know-"

The bed was suddenly gone and I was up in the air. Instinct begged me to look. I saw the headboard, bedframe, torn apart, disassembled. Slowly crawling along the wall, each rotating in its own momentum, caught in a thread of the mysterious, violent spell Kael'thas had decided to use, with half a thought.

I looked back at him. One hand was out, conjuring. I just barely saw a rose-colored thread slithering around me, holding me up. And I'm a big guy. Before I could say anything else, Kael'thas thrust out his other arm, and my throat tightened up.

"Oh, Investigator Turaho. Do we have to say goodnight at last?"

Of course, I couldn't say anything to him. He realized that after a few more dizzying moments. And surely, thoughts of Saturna were in there, too. I could feel it, how he didn't care. How he never cared about me. How, in a way, Kael'thas didn't care about any living thing that didn't suit him. He was happy to snuff it out if he was allowed. But Saturna would never allow him this.

Excitement, probably arousal, the freak—it edged at his smile, as he lowered the fiery spell. But he only teased at setting me back down.

"Turaho Runestalker. I'm going to _kill_ you. I am going to kill you until you tell me."

I lifted a finger the moment it was allowed. I also brushed the bead on my vest. I'd be damned if I died and Thunderbluff or Orgrimmar didn't see this, "That's… physically impossible—"

"Not if I make you into one of my pets first, Turaho. To resurrect at my whim!"

"And it can't happen tonight, because you'd make me stand up Illidan and he's impatiently waiting for us by now." I hoped. I so hoped…

His green eyes flared, a vein in his neck stood out. Then, his yellow and black hair, ignited and flaring everywhere now in some crazy mage-spell wind, it all eased down now. He gnashed teeth, "We are not done talking about this."

"I'll ask Illidan who she's dating, if you like?" Slim possibility of that happening or even working out, but anything to get out of this night, alive. And you thought I hated Kael'thas for no good reason!

"As if Illidan would know!" Kael'thas set into panic, "WHY would she date a Night Elf? I can't…" he sniffed hard, pinched his upper lip. That was about when I fell. He let me fall, by the way.

I lay there, stunned, in pain in a few places while Kael'thas' voice floated back.

"Well, she's angry at me, obviously. Alright." He began thinking it all through, clearly, but his only conclusion could have been that, whatever it was, now was not the time. Kael'thas eyed me again. I flinched. "…We'd better get going."

Stupidly curious as ever, "And you are going to tell Saturna this, right?"

"I can't tell Saturna, she'll _kill_ me."

I scrabbled backward, half thinking he would attempt to roast me alive again, "Or, you know-Only if it's your fault, and obviously, it isn't. It's not like you laid out a romantic picnic with candles by a moonwell in the forest…" Then I followed Kael'thas' thinking. It was, entirely, his fault. For letting it go on so long. What else would an attractive young thing like Princess Anthene end up… attracting out there? Maybe somewhere in Kael's drug-addled mind, he assumed that since the sentinels and priestesses were all women… Or perhaps his imagination never dared go that far about his own daughter, and it was as simple as that.

Another possibility was that Anthene was a lot tougher than she seemed, and Kael'thas didn't see her the way I did, like a delicate sea shell that needed to be wrapped in tissue and kept in a box. She was a Sunstrider, as well as Saturna's daughter after all. Evenso, he was right about one part of this fiasco. Whatever slip up Kael'thas had made, big or small, Saturna would only ever see it one way. He'd endangered their little princess. Literally.

I sighed at him.

Kael'thas suddenly lifted his arms again. And I flinched again.

But he was only conjuring a portal. "Shut up. If I need your help, and I never would, I'll ask for it. And, I can always have my own damn degrading conversations with Illidan."

Degrading? What did Kael'thas mean by that? Was there a glimmer of hope that tonight might actually be fun?

The violet, sparking portal was up by then.

He said, "Look, I didn't actually kill you."

That was not comforting to me, in the least.

Then, he half-bowed, "Jackasses first."

Well done, Kael'thas. But then I inclined my head and horns, gestured for Kael'thas to start. I mean, if those were the rules…

"Just go, Turaho, before I change my mind and close this thing on your head."

I went.

I touched down in a world that was more sensation and feeling. Sights, smells, sounds… that was blurred. It came into focus only after a while. I felt like I was lying on the floor of a loud celebration. The ground was booming. Light bloomed and faded above. Fireworks, maybe. But I was blearly-eyed and I felt very light. Almost ecstatic.

Then, grass. That was the first thing that came to me. Sweet, sharp grass. Green, green, green grass. I felt like I could love that grass. I was definitely back on some plain. I felt the grass between my fingers, got carried away petting it.

It occurred to me that I was under another powerful spell, or drugged. I decided on drugged.

Ah, but you see, I hadn't known about Illidan's dream magic.

A dog barking very loudly finally got me to sit up. She was throwing herself in wild circles, wagging her brushy tail like crazy…she? SHE!

"Zoca!"

Zoca nuzzled my face immediately. Yep, that cold nose was familiar. It had felt the same at my Sunwalker initiation. I petted her, I hugged her and wrestled her.

"Silly dog? Where have you been? Where in the world have you been, girl?"

Cloven feet. I got to mine, expecting to thank the other Tauren for finding my dog at last. In my haze, I still didn't understand.

Illidan Stormrage stood there, looking very serene. Dare I say… pleased with himself, somehow?

The old blindfold was there. His great, arcing horns. The green jagged runes slashed across his chest.

A fading white scar that I had never read about before. I came to, somewhat, remembering the rumor. Saturna had attacked him once. Was that it? Something like that had not fully healed, after all these years?

"Forgive me. I knew you were going to Silvermoon to deal with Kael'thas. I met your dog and decided to keep her safe."

Oh, yes. This was deeper than I realized. I believe… I was sure Illidan just made a vague confession to kidnapping my dog.

"Kael'thas and his Bloodknights would have used your ghost dog against you."

"Really? I don't see how." I checked my tone after that. I really shouldn't have been chancing my legendary sass-mouth against Illidan Stormrage.

Illidan extended an arm. It was kindly. He meant for us to walk together. And where were we? Illidan wanted us to stroll across the Barrens. Or, what the Barrens once had been.

Somehow, he'd had the power to take us back to the pristine beauty of the region before anything had happened to it, before any terrible trespass in Kalimdor by evil forces. I don't know how he did it. It could have been one of his own memories, perhaps? Or, that of one of his ancestors. Illidan had been around a very, precious long time.

"Let me guess, you once had a Tauren friend, too?"

He gave a tight, very pleased smile. "Long, long time ago. I didn't think I'd be this glad to speak with one of your people again, over a matter like this one."

Zoca ran ahead of us, barking her head off. She was blissfully ignorant of the danger we might be in, beneath all of this. My mind was putting it together slowly. None of this should be possible. Illidan shouldn't have been capable of it, from what I knew about him. It was something a shaman could do, like my mother. Bend the spirit world, tempt dreams, tip them to pour into his own fantasies. But not even my mother could manage this. She could very well explain it or describe it to me—and she had. I did ask her how Farseer visions worked once, and it was close to what I was experiencing now. No, I didn't fully get it. But I was confident that my skill as an investigator would get me close, even if I wasn't a powerful mage like Kael'thas… In fact, where was Kael'thas? I checked all around us.

"He's gone. He hates me, you know." He sighed, but it wasn't disappointed. He was tired, "I thought I should clear that up, first thing."

What do you say to that?

"Gotchya."

"Don't ever let Kael'thas and his Bloodknights see your ghost dog. You can certainly have Zoca back after this, but I figured I should finish my favor to you and warn you first."

It still felt like a deception somehow.

"A Sunwalker paladin, who can also summon spirits…" Illidan sounded like he was going to tut at me, but he wasn't really the sort. I was kind of pleased that Illidan, Illidan Stormrage himself, could be playful, "You'll be ripe for the picking."

"Do you mean…" I wondered if I should say Saturna's name. "The Knights of the Blood Nexus?"

"Yes, them." Illidan and I walked for a while longer. Wildflowers were suddenly on the horizon, a whole field of them. They were orange and pink, some red, now suddenly, some were blue. I hadn't noticed them before.

"They collect paladins who possess exceptional abilities. Each one of them is a weapon. I suppose weapons crave more weapons. Metal wants metal. Sometimes, raw elements do get magnetized, don't they?"

I didn't know why he was asking me.

"The Knights of the Blood Nexus are Silvermoon's true arsenal. The magic runestones help. The Sunwell surely helps. But those ruthless paladins are often overlooked. It's less how they swing a sword or smite… demons with their Light magic. It's how they all think. How they see the world." He glanced down at me, "They'll try and make you one of them. Is that what you want?"

"I'm a Tauren."

"You are a shaman. And, you are a paladin."

That… what?

"I can see it because I've been looking into you, eversince Kael'thas wondered about you. He does not have secret access to the vast records of the Darnassian spies. He cannot peer at you from the dream world, not like I can. And I'm better at keeping my secrets than he is. I always have been."

"I don't understand."

"Yes you do. You don't want to listen."

Oh no. Was another one of these Night Elves about to mentor me? I stopped walking. I was offended and I had something to settle with Illidan right then and there.

"First off, I'm nobody's…"

But Illidan kept going on without me. And he was very far away by the time I noticed. How had he done that, hurtled ahead through the field? Through the air? Through time? He left me shouting into the wind, alone. After that? I had no choice but to keep up, and to pay closer attention to him.

 **I** llidan already knew what it was about. He seemed to be ahead of all my questions. When we finally got down to it, he was very amused with me. I think he even already liked me, which was a weird feeling.

"Tell me what you know about the last time Kael'thas had Greatfather Winter kidnapped."

"You reckon this is the second time. You're sure?" His rich voice kept my eyes from wandering, to look at his frightening horns, or claws or hooves. It's bad when you know a Tauren is uncomfortable staring at those features.

Also, 'Reckon.' Illidan just said 'reckon.' He could be casual, Illidan could be _chill._

 _So cool!_

And in case you were wondering, I don't think that an invisible, rapid-blink-spell Kael'thas was in the field with us. And Illidan was so easy with me, it didn't seem like someone he hated—that we both hated—was anywhere around. I'm no warlock or mage, I don't get where Kael'thas stashed himself otherwise, but he'd left me and Illidan completely alone.

Illidan also kept watching me. It reminded me of the way Alessandre used to watch me, like all Night Elves secretly thought Tauren were 'cute'.

I kept the conversation going, "I know that you have, or used to have a soul link with Kael'thas. Few people knew about that. I'd say I inferred right, since Kael'thas was able to summon us over here to see you. And you admitted to being able to sense what he does… you somehow saw me through your link?"

"Oh, that old thing." Illidan waved a claw. His tone was oddly cheerful about that. Heh, he was taking a rare opportunity to be silly. He put it like a woman who was delighted that you noticed her new dress.

Finally, I laughed.

"Yes, I'm funny. You'll find I'm good at being charming. It takes other men longer to articulate it though. Women go instantly on edge, they know what it is. I'll use it against anyone."

What a… way to put it.

"Which may seem an unusual thing to point out, but I must know my powers, intimately." I braced myself, wide-eyed, for the big confession, that it had worked back in Outland and he and Kael'thas had experimented…

I watch too much 'The Goblin and the Beautiful' now that I think of it.

Illidan stopped by a try. I hadn't known it was there. It felt like the world kept expanding at the edge of my vision. As soon as I turned my head, there was more that hadn't been there before… I think.

He pointed a nail into the old bark. It crumbled away in bits.

"Is this… vision of the ancient world, is this you making sure that I'm impressed with you, Illidan? Are you winning me over to your side already then?"

He'd already done it, though. We already both hated Kael'thas, and now I'd learned that had cool powers, the coolest—and Illidan was fun to hang out with.

"Yes. He'll tell you himself. I'm surprised he didn't mention it already. Long ago, I maneuvered Kael'thas into a soul link with me, since he was skilled as a warlock. I, perhaps, needed the comfort of his soul at the time."

"I assumed that was all about power."

"It wasn't." Illidan then recovered from sounding personally offended. Or, was it defensive. He looked down, flicked something off his chest. Some tiny insect that had fled from the miniature hole he'd bored in the dying tree. "I am capable of feelings, you know. Kael'thas put it better than I ever could, years later. I was missing my brother and he had every right to miss his father, after what he went through. So, we used one another."

Illidan missed Kael'thas today. I could feel that. Having him for a friend, for a confidante, it was something Illidan regretted losing. And he was so interested in relieving the problem that he didn't mind who knew how he felt. Sort of like when you complained to everyone else in your family about something your cousin did. It has the effect of getting the whole family to eventually prod them back in your direction, to apologize.

I tried not to get too carried away wondering, or even worrying, what had happened to Kael'thas and Illidan. Warlock and so-called Demon Lord, Blood Elf and Night Elf, evil and eviler… Yes, that kind of creeper friendship did make some sense.

And poor Vashj, what a third wheel she would have ended up as, or really anyone who came between those two men. I started to also wonder how Saturna handled it, but then I really didn't want to think of Saturna either, right then.

"These days, our old soul link feels more like something stupid I did while on vacation—like a dumb tattoo." And Illidan was carving something into the tree bark. He was getting very distracted by that tree. Sort of like a cat testing its claws.

I had to repeat what he said again in my mind. I suddenly laughed very hard.

Zoca yipped and howled with me. I regarded for her a bit, patting my leg for her to come back for a good scratch on the head. When that was done, she budged onto my big hoof to lay on it.

"Yes, I guess an actual Kael'thas tattoo on your arm would have been safer."

"No, I would have put it someplace else."

I refused to query that.

Illidan showed teeth, kind of growling at the tree.

"What are you carving on that thing?"

He ignored me until he was finished. But I couldn't see it. Whatever he'd written or drawn, was cluttered with dust and chunks of wood from his effort. Illidan went on in his own good time, "Soul links atrophy when you don't use them. It would take thousands of years to notice—so few warlocks in existence have learned that fact. But I always knew it might happen. And Kael'thas must have figured it out, too. We had less to talk about, less reason to interact… it faded away. But he's still in my old villainous… social network, whether I like it or not. We can block out each other, but it's never permanent. If one of us really wants to override it—"

"Interesting way to put it?"

"Ask me for a favor sometime, and you will find out exactly what I mean. I always remember who owes me what. Always."

"I know a Goblin mob boss like that."

"Ha!"

Okay, I could see how Kael'thas fell into a bromance with this guy.

"Illidan, we never did answer my first question. What do you remember about the time Kael'thas arranged to have Greatfather Winter… let's say, removed from Shatthrath City?"

"And then we all know he appeared at Tempest Keep—" We'd both said it at the same time, both of us rolling our eyes. Then we both gave over to laughter again.

Wow. Illidan was really, very easy to get along with. Unless… it kinda felt like he was… no. Only little kids did that.

I had to prod him again, "Yes. So… that fateful holiday at Tempest Keep…"

Illidan told the same version of the story as Daphne, Pyorin, everybody. But for him, the party announcement happened while he was at the Black Temple. Yes, Kael'thas had announced it and sent out invitations. Ugh…

"I remember, it was strange because the Burning Legion had also heightened activity around that time. Mavia and some of my other spies were watching it."

"Okay."

"Kael'thas didn't know I was using her like that." He blew at his artwork on the tree, then looked over at me finally.

I got very distracted by what Illidan had done. He'd drawn initials, a heart.

"You know, she's—"

"Let me hopeless. Let me enjoy writing our names on a tree like I always did. Like when I thought she was mine."

Poor Tyrande.

It had made Illidan happy in a strange way that I didn't understand, though.

"At first, I thought the party was a cover for something else Kael'thas was doing, with the Burning Legion."

"Kael'thas fought the Legion."

"No, Kael'thas fully turned to the Burning Legion while in Outland. He sneaked back to Azeroth and redeemed himself, fooled Thrall perhaps. Well, he and I both did. We fooled the world. But, no. Getting his head cut off so I could put a collar around his neck. Those Bloodknights coming to fetch him at Tempest Keep when the Black Temple mission didn't work… it was all about dragging him away from a painful addiction to fel magic, power, revenge. We were all trying to get Kael'thas off that junk."

I raised my eyebrows.

"But he ended up in…" Illidan tried not to laugh. "Some cage. He's lucky the Legion agent that caught him was slightly an idiot. And he was obsessively besotted with him, secretly stealing his underwear and that, if you can believe such a thing went on. I say slightly an idiot, because it did work after all, and I was even fooled into letting it happen. I actually lost Kael'thas that way, by assuming I was smarter." Illidan offered for us to start walking again, "Another thing you'll do well to remember. Don't ever underestimate that man."

I brought us back on track, though the aside about what the heck really happened to Kael'thas before he returned to Azeroth was sufficiently embarrassing and entertaining. I'd revisit it one night with popcorn and an icy beer. As for the right now, though, "But Demons don't celebrate Winter's Veil, do they? What did the Burning Legion care about Kael'thas and about the holiday?"

"What did the Burning Legion want with Greatfather Winter?" He smiled at me, "How did you miss that?"

"I…" How _had_ I missed that?

"Maybe I made you miss that. Sorry."

Illidan had lost me again. I wished I had more lessons on schools of magic, anything to help guide me here. For him, it was all so obvious. But I felt like, at times, I was having half a conversation with him.

"If only we knew what the Burning Legion could possibly want with Greatfather Winter."

Illidan wasn't asking. He was trying to tell me something. Something I already knew? No, something I was supposed to figure out on my own, without Illidan also having to spell it out for Kael'thas, where might hear.

Wait, I thought he was gone? He was still here, somehow? So where _in the hell_ did Kael'thas get to after all? Was he inside the walls of this… vision thing? Infesting it like mice?

"Look. Illidan, if you can sense… a modicum of what Kael'thas is thinking and feeling—"

"It's more like my skin itches if he's distraught about something. Or, if he is thinking about me a great deal." He grimaced, "I don't get much out of it anymore."

It almost sounded like he was a wife complaining about how things used to be between them. Well, they do say warlocks are a bunch of weirdos with their demon pets. In a few ways.

"Alright, let's set the Legion thing aside for a while. You don't feel up for telling me, or it still has something to do with Kael'thas, and we shouldn't speak more about it right now." Illidan looked over at me, but he didn't confirm either. I guessed it was a yes.

God-damn, it Kael'thas. You're still dealing with the Legion? STILL? And that was supposed to be finished. You're such a big idiot.

"So then… could you tell if Kael'thas knows who the kidnapper is this time around, or if he was the kidnapper, himself?"

Illidan shook his head, No.

"You can't even give me a good guess?"

"All I know about the kidnapper is that it was someone who betrayed me." He grasped angrily at the air.

Well that narrowed it the hell down. Who has betrayed Illidan?

WHO HASN'T betrayed Illidan, seriously! The man has a complex. I was probably going to betray him in about five minutes after we left and he realized I stepped on his favorite pet flea or something.

I thanked Illidan, but it was more a 'Gee, _thanks_ , Illidan.'

"I have one more question to ask…" I remembered Anthene desperately needing me to follow up with him.

Illidan stopped us walking this time. He turned to face me fully. I had a strong feeling then, that he did know the question to Anthene's question. He already knew what I was going to ask.

And, I figured if Kael'thas was somehow still aware of us, what we were saying to one another… it probably wasn't so safe to ask after all.

"I think…" Illidan was unusually delicate about it, "I'm sure, at times, that Kael'thas and… he will try for another child, sometime. A son, or a daughter."

I kept calm, tried to read that as well as I could.

"I think… Kael'thas would like another child, very badly."

Damn. Either Kael'thas loved being a daddy, changing diapers and all that or… there was something he needed to finally settle. With Saturna. With himself. That wasn't good.

"I also believe that, if there is a young lady who wants to rule Quel'thalas, as badly as that, she should not let anything stop her. Especially foolish mistakes in the past that are not her own. By any measure."

I nodded my thanks.

"Do you know who she is, um… going with?" I tried to laugh it off, "Do you think the next king of Quel'thalas will be a Night Elf?"

Illidan looked at me like I already knew the answer. That was even more confusing. Man, I was really falling short here. Remind me to sign up for some warlock classes or maybe some Demon Hunter training the next time I'm in Orgrimmar. Geez!

"One last thing—" Old Pathfinder's trick. Ask them the most important question before you finally leave. And mine was far more important than Anthene's, "There's not really a big hit on Kael'thas' head is there? You seem to like him."

Illidan was caught off by it. I felt a little proud that I was able to do that. Then again, it might have just been that spooky of a concept. Illidan really didn't like it.

"Who is threatening Kael'thas?"

Point blank, like that. I was suddenly afraid that I'd get blamed for it.

"I can't say—"

"You don't tell me, and I'll keep you down here forever."

"… Down?"

The beautiful vision of Mulgore blinked out. We were suddenly in a room, a stone room with no windows. Or, was it… a tree? I smelled resin, though the floor beneath my hooves was well petrified. It felt like stone. Zoca was fast asleep, by the way.

"Someone will find me." But then, I gave that up. Illidan was good at kidnapping people, wasn't he? He'd done it once to his own brother back in Shadowmoon Valley, I forgot.

This… this is why you have to know your Warcraft lore, people.

Then, I got distracted with something more important, "You're protective of Kael'thas?"

Illidan was slow to answer. "I think that's obvious. And what should be more obvious to everyone is that he is the main person alive on this rock who is indebted to me. And I am indebted to him… so many bloody debts."

I shuddered when I was finally able to say it. Telling the truth might get me killed as well. I didn't think Illidan would ever care so much, but he might just get miffed about the role I played in Ashenvale, on behalf his brother's people. I no longer had a choice, though.

"There is this Night Elf rogue, or there was…"

"I know Mirothalas Shademoon."

"His name is Alessandre—" then, I felt silly. Of course it would have been a moniker. Al had done spywork after all. When he was living. I felt that old, horrible ache for fate he befell. Even if it was at the hands of a Horde leader protecting our interests. Then, I let it out, "Kael'thas killed him."

"With fire? Kael'thas doesn't miss."

Was Illidan reading my mind? He was reading my mind!

Illidan quickly reassured me by ratting on himself, somewhat. I don't know why, "I see that you don't fully understand. Demonic language can undo the untrained. You aren't trained, so I sound like anyone else, to you. But I always like to speak Demonic with strangers."

"Okay?"

"Stay calm. Sit down."

I did. Not that I could get calm at that point. But when Illidan Stormrage tells you to do something, and it's as easy as sitting down for a spell…

"Who did Mirothalas say put a hit on Kael'thas?"

I couldn't tell Illidan, I really couldn't.

"…Your brother."

Illidan blinked. Then, he looked up, thinking. "It would be easy for Kael'thas and his feckless Bloodknights to figure that out for themselves. And if it had been going on for so long… only now does Kael'thas try to do something about it? And he misses?"

No, Illidan knew. Right now, he was teaching me something. Not just what I needed to see, but how to think around Kael'thas. Like he'd been doing about the Legion wanting Greatfather Winter thing.

"My, my... Has the Kal'dorei Rogue Network done a number on you, Tauren." Illidan wandered over to a large old chair I hadn't noticed before. He spread wings and sat.

Another thing I started to notice. Illidan was also teaching me how to think around Night Elves as well, at this level of the game.

Illidan looked down at me again from what felt like his throne, "The Alliance claims me. Or, some of them do. I don't know how I feel about that these days. So then, we find ourselves on different sides of a conflict—"

"The Horde and Alliance made peace, you know."

"It's just what they call it these days. Peace between the Horde and the Alliance is like believing in Greatfather Winter."

I smiled up at him.

"Turaho…I will tell you something. Because I think I know exactly where you are going to end up once this is finished. And, I think that… finally appeals to me." He bit his lip, for a time. I could tell, he was already making his plan, within a plan. I couldn't possibly imagine what he meant right then, I swear.

"Turaho, the Blood Elves may be vain and feckless and intolerable—but in the end, they are good at what they do." He really focused on me, "And you are good at what you do. You were supposed to be distracted by pretty woman elves in Silvermoon and running around in Kael'thas' little circles, but instead you're halfway across the world, down beneath a barrow den, chatting with me. Nobody expected you to do that, not even the Triumvir Rogue of Darnassus—"

A barrow den! For the love of—what the hell was Illidan doing? He would get caught in the worst way if they… wait.

"Why are you down here anyway? We're beneath a druid's barrow den? No. We're down below Darnassus."

"Clever. The one place they would never look."

What can I say, I'm good. I also get overwhelmed by curiosity at times.

Illidan huffed a laugh, "I like to play little jokes on my brother. While I'm down here, I can listen to see if it went off with a bang."

"Um… you're going to blow something up? You're playing some practical joke on your brother?"

"It's more him finding something out that he didn't want to know. He'll surely scream about it. I can listen from here. Really, Malfurion should have figured out that I'm behind a few of his misfortunes lately, unless my fool brother thinks a giant chipmunk lives down at the center of his World Tree."

Ouch.

Illidan looked aside, "I risk my own people telling you this, but the man you call Alessandre is not dead. He only faked his death."

I didn't hear that at first. I felt like I left my body for a moment. And I hadn't wanted to come back.

"No."

Illidan tapped his claws on the chair, waited patiently for me.

"What?!"

"It keeps you feeling guilty and beholden to him, and the opportunity came up. And, he's very mortal, vulnerable. It would have been easy for him. I can't play that trick on people anymore."

I chose not to ask Illidan about that one, either. We needed to stay on track, now more than ever.

"…Meanwhile, Tauraho, Alessandre has you wandering around, feeling responsible, feeling like you were old friends. Likely, you're doing his work for him, trying to finish up things in his name. The final job he never got to finish. If the opportunity comes up to ever justifiably stick it to Kael'thas, you'll take it. Have I guessed right?"

I was beyond words. It was hard to think, I was so shocked. So…

"I… I hadn't got to the point where… But I was starting to feel like it would be a shame if, after all he sacrificed... I even think he got a message through to me, but I didn't want to accept that it was him. About Kael'thas' hair?" Illidan nodded confirmation, which felt odd, but I couldn't put my finger on why, "And maybe I did notice after all, but the thing is… I… I think I didn't care. I don't think I cared that he was possibly messing with me. I just hated to think of him as dead, or think about it at all. Or even judge him again, after all he went through—that BASTARD!"

"One more fun little tip, Sunwalker. You are very in the dark in this. The Blood Elves could have also helped you, because they know, too. But I see that they didn't. You aren't dealing with one rogue, who is an assassin. An assassin who only wants to hide, then kill. Thinks only of that." He shook his great horns, "No matter which of them you meet first, you are always facing the entire Triumvirate. Alessandre, or Mirothalas Shademoon, he works with two other Night Elf rogues to run the Kaldorei Rogue Network. He is the assassin, but there is also a patriot and a master manipulator. So, how did they help him in Mulgore? Alessandre found himself in a conundrum, 'Kael'thas has come to kill me, but I cannot kill Kael'thas.' Nor could Alessandre get out of Mulgore fast enough, correct?"

I nodded, anxious. I felt my heartbeat pounding in my throat as Illidan slowly revealed all.

"So then, he sends an owl. Some messenger bird. The KRN, probably Mistress Rogue Wisthera, she sends him back a Plan B to follow. This is it."

I squeezed my eyes shut, "Wait-why, am I listening to you of all people? You just said you identified with the Alliance, or you else you have to, others make you. Maybe you're just messing me around, too. He can't be-"

"You don't know how deep this goes."

Things slowed down for me, then. Wasn't that… Tempest, didn't she say the same? Had Saturna said it before then?

"Tauren, what I told you was hardly anything." He waited, I guess until I looked less terrified. "Do you want to survive this? With Kael'thas?"

"Not necessarily…"

Illidan dismissed my, well, it was catty behavior regarding Kael'thas at that point. Any of the women in my family would have called it.

"Imagine, Turaho, what else Alessandre is lying to you about, if he would lie about this?"

"So, look—you keep dancing around answers. Is there a hit on Kael'thas or not? Did your brother do it? Wait, you were surprised about it yourself. Extremely surprised…"

"Indeed. My brother is the Shan'do."

This time, Illidan wasn't dancing around anything. And he wasn't mind-reading with demonic language or anything like that, either… that was the same common sense, gut reaction I had. Sometimes, investigations are like chemistry. Certain elements just don't mix. Malfurion was made of something special, we all are, and putting a hit on Kael'thas, spending loads of money on getting another man killed? It simply was not Malfurion's style.

Probably, Malfurion would show up one day where his enemy was walking in the forest, where he had a strategic advantage. Announce the duel to his rival and handle it himself, if it was his own family being threatened.

But, perhaps not even then. Malfurion was concerned with the world, with balance, with saving animals and plants and environs. Does the sun get anxious about the blade of grass it's singed, then stop shining altogether? Hardly.

"And what do you know about the KRN and their real stake in all this, Illidan?"

Illidan wouldn't answer. He shut me out completely. Actually, he started to seem very angry. For the first time that evening. I felt very awkward. Even more unsettling, I kind of wanted Kael'thas back. He was the one man alive who could probably deal with Illidan and live. Well, he had!

I needed to get out of there, immediately. I needed to untangle and settle a whole lot of things. And I no longer trusted Illidan. He'd confessed a lot to me, but it was… well a lot. He was too strong. He knew too much. And he was controlling everything. He was even keeping me in a cell inside of Teldrassil. Well, it was both of us at the moment. I needed to get Horde soil back under my hooves. I just had this feeling.

You'd think Zoca would growl or something, but she was deep, deep under. It made me think of Kael'thas standing over my bed, for some reason.

"There's no need to be afraid, Turaho." He said it too evenly. "Aren't we happy here? Helping each other?"

"…Illidan, what did you do to my dog?"

Illidan gripped the armrests of his chair. I figured it out, then. He was reading me. And I was busy panicking. Maybe he was starting to regret telling me so much. There were some people in the Alliance he still cared about. What if his actions, his confessions tonight, to a capable Horde soldier, led to their demise? I wasn't wrong to doubt him but… I wasn't so used to dealing with Illidan. I'd failed to keep my doubts about him to myself, close up against my chest, somehow knowing about it without thinking about it. Up until now, I'd been happy, comfortable, impressed to be hanging out with him. All of a sudden, I'd changed.

Illidan was too good with Demonic. I was no Kael'thas.

I tried to make it seem like nothing, "You know, this is funny. I never thought I'd have this kind of problem, heh. But I can't tell where the door is, or where Kael'thas even got to, you know, to port me back? This room doesn't seem to… have doors? How did you even get in here, Illidan?"

"Oh, that's not an issue. I'll send you back if you want." He was still uncomfortable, though. "Your little dog, too."

Why did the space we were in suddenly seem so much smaller? What if it was a crawl space, a sliver of a space for one body, maybe two, and Illidan made it seem larger? I mean, why would a chair be in there? How would he get a chair in there?

I found the amusement in the situation, "Really? How?" Well, I supposed he had about a thousand powers I didn't know about, but Illidan didn't look like a mage to me and he sure wasn't ever able to swan around from Outland to Azeroth to wherever if the mood took him. It must have only been something Illidan could do for other people.

"I summoned you and Kael'thas here in the first place." Illidan let loose a smile. He was bragging.

"Like he's your demon pet?"

Illidan shrugged one glowing runed shoulder in the near-dark, "Kael'thas conjured, but I'm faster. He hates it."

What… what was wrong with the two of them? And no wonder Kael'thas got in such a huff the moment we arrived. Well, other than all the rest of their old feud. But, in order to summon us… Illidan can't have been telling the full truth about his power over their soul link, then. He would have needed an inkling that Kael'thas chose that moment to take me to him. Wasn't that how summoning worked?

"I have the power to summon Kael'thas because he has so much damned fel magic in his system, still. He might as well be one of my demonic minions."

I blurt out laughter again. And Illidan blurt out laughter again, at his own joke. That was when I caught it. Mimicry. Illidan was parroting me. I think to get on my good side? Like pretending to like the same things as someone else, or kind of… finishing their sentences if you can guess what they're about to say next. Some people did it because they really needed to be liked and it was too hard to resist. But Illidan wasn't weak-willed, he was…

Okay, so I decided then that Illidan was crazy. Possibly certifiable.

Illidan came over and nudged me in the shoulder. He was smiling too much, "Hey, nice hooves."

"Heh—" Then, I stopped myself. Fear.

Illidan then summoned the portal back to Quel'thalas and waited.

"So, you're really not going to tell me how the kal'dorei rogues, how Alessandre, is still involved in this? What is he really up to? And is he the one…"

All of a sudden, I couldn't say it. How ruthless Alessandre could truly be. If any speck of me was glad he still lived, I'd better not get carried away with it. Not if he was busy corrupting innocents. All in the name of his precious Alliance.

I tried again, with resolve this time. "Tell me what Alessandre is doing to the Blood Elves. I need to know. Illidan, please. Why is he involved?"

"You want to make me an offer, Turaho?"

I thought about what he said, about doing favors for him, owing him things. And Illidan remembering it for thousands of years or more.

I laughed and it came off nervous, "I dunno if I even have anything you would want."

"I know that you don't, I'm telling you to leave because I've had enough."

Well, that burned.

"I am grateful that you gave me all this insight, Illidan."

He sidestepped, sort of walking me to the portal. Or, hemming me in closeby it. That man takes big steps.

"I don't see how the KRN could care so much about Greatfather Winter, though? That stymies me. You want this wrapped up fast and tidy like I do? Right? And I'm in a position to actually do that. You're sort of outside the situation."

Illidan stretched one of his bat-like wings, idly. "It's funny the things we take for granted. The people we're supposed to love, when we don't. The details in life we miss, for our own absurd flaws. Flaws that are endemic to us. Tauren, sometimes, I feel as if we are all meant to fail in this life, to be betrayed and feel lost, not to succeed. And that we don't meet our friends, our soulmates, because we are busy being so good. But, because we fall down so hard, and need someone to cling to when we get up."

"You know, forget Tyrande. You should start dating again. I have some uh, pretty cute cousins who would have lapped up that line."

Illidan laughed so hard, so honestly, that I heard it through the other side of the portal when I stepped down in golden Eversong Woods.

Kael'thas was standing right there when I touched ground again.

Illidan's laughter floated around us while the magic faded.

Kael'thas crossed his arms, "What did you _do_."

Kael'thas accused me as if I'd just got him into trouble with his wife. Again.

"Don't be jealous because Illidan likes me. Wait—how did you get back?"

Kael'thas said nothing as we walked over to the nearest path, through the trees.

"…Did Illidan punk-summon you? A second time?"

"Illidan Stormrage is an _ass_."

And, after he listened to my hooves sweeping through the grass a few more times, I guess Kael'thas got the other jab.

"Did you just say Illidan _punk-summoned_ me?"


	21. No More Back-Sass

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : We're gonna wrap this holiday story up by _this_ holiday, dangit! I can't believe a whole year has gone by since I first started writing during the last holiday season. Only 4-5 more chapters, I think.

* * *

 **Chapter 21: No More Back-Sass!**

Kael'thas sneered at me. Eversong Woods was all happy bluebirds around us compared to the nasty look and the very blue words coming out of Kael'thas' mouth before he settled on his final insult, "…You know what, _Tauren_? I don't care who in the Horde sent you here. You can just go straight to—"

I held a hand up for Kael'thas to stop.

"Enough. You know, I've had it up to here with you as well, but I just realized something. It's something Illidan pointed out to me, actually." I paced on my big hooves around the unusually well-dressed Blood Elf man. Don't ask me when or how Kael'thas changed out of his black phoenix pajamas with white socks. I guess an arrogant mage like him _would._ "Up until now, we've been doing this all your way. Yeah, I got to have my say about a few things, like being able to interview Lady Weaver, and Pyro, whatever his name is. But not once have I run this investigation the way I prefer. I've been living in your castle, and I'm damn near done sharing a wall with you and Saturna. Why the hell did you do that anyway? Which were you trying to sabotage, my investigation or your own marriage?"

Kael'thas flushed red, made a fist.

I got on with it, "No. No more. I want three things from you, Kael'thas. I want my gun back. And, I want supplies for living out here. You want to bug those supplies somehow, put magical crap in them so that you can overhear my every move? Fine. I could never stop you from doing that anyway. But know that I am fully capable of watching you back—I've used little tricks and traps against their Elven masters before, in Ashenvale."

He gestured angrily around us, "Does this look like some overgrown cesspot due to be chopped down for kindling? This is Quel'thalas! You are dealing with the sin'dorei."

"No, Kael'thas. Now, you are dealing with me." I huffed through both nostrils and lowered my horns. It at least gave him pause. Though, compared with a Bloodmage, my horns couldn't have been a real threat. However, even someone as powerful as him should realize—stabbed is stabbed, if you give me enough of an opening.

"The last thing I want from you? My privacy. Yeah, you'll try and send your spies up here. I'll go as far as saying that it's your right, since this is your kingdom. But I don't want any fake messages on silver trays from the palace, no more weird invitations to dinner so that I can be sidetracked by the whole Sunstrider family, no getting snookered into a bar crawl with your shady Bloodknights, only to get dumped in downtown Silvermoon—none of it!"

Kael'thas had calmed, somehow. I'm not sure how my yelling at him calmed him. Maybe it was simply more comfortable now that the gloves were off. Two men, at last. Nobody watching us argue, no immediate repercussions with wives or Bloodknight matriarchs (especially if they were the same thing). We could be ourselves.

"Kael, you may be furious about how things went with Anthene, and I admit, I did not want things to get out of hand with your daughter…" I let out an anxious breath, frightened to look a father in the eye, "But running into Anthene right at Saltheril's Haven? Where the real Blood Elf locals go? That was a place where my instincts led me. And then, getting deeper into your kingdom, seeing those Night Elves where you did not want me to go looking, those two big milestones were the first true progress I've made in this whole investigation. And I intend for it to keep going that way."

"I don't want you speaking to my daughter ever again."

"Kael'thas. All due respect, but I think that's up to her. We both know I don't mean the princess any real harm, and she's grown."

He stalked past me, then backed off a ways. Kael'thas wanted to go, but he was also unwilling to let me go. Funny now, looking back. Like a dog with a good soup-bone. He was so ready to leave me behind if there was really no meat left, but he couldn't be sure.

Ho, yes. Privacy in his own home, the illusion of this all being finally done… How tempting. It would have been easy to ignore the Tauren camped out somewhere in the woods, what a fantasy. And that's all I'd asked him for, for him to abandon me. But yet, I think it still didn't work with some secret plan of his, that had to be the hitch. Kael'thas sensed the danger in what I offered, even if he couldn't feel it. He was too much of a manipulator to keep an important play-piece like me beyond his reach.

"…Completely? Alone." His eyebrow edged up and I watched him try not to smile. Why did it remind me of two guys in a bar, leaning over drinks and smutty comments about the barmaid…

Oh.

Well, finally having a night to himself with his wife would have been the cincher. Damn him! I did not think he deserved it with Saturna, not in the least. And like I wanted to deal with reviewing that kind of session whenever I went through my marbles later. Well, Saturna's part in it wouldn't be that bad, if I'm honest. Yeah, I guess that's me being pretty damn honest.

I stood there, chewing. Kinda mad.

I huffed, "Saturna has an allure all her own, I'm sure. But Kael'thas, if you think putting on your tiny Sunfury underoos and sprinkling the sheets with arcane dust is gonna fix your marriage—"

He shoved me. I was defending myself from that, when he came in fast on the other side. Hit me.

Well, Kael'thas punched me.

Guess he figured that if I wasn't living in the castle anymore, he might just be able to get away with it. I've been in enough scuffles to get back on my feet immediately, whether it's a Bloodmage or some roughneck beating on me. I stuffed down panic that it was Kael'thas, Kael'thas Sunstrider, a once member of the Kirin Tor, hell—a once member of the Burning Legion—finally laying hands on me. And it hurt. He'd hit me clear in the mouth. Time to hit him back. Rules of the jungle…

Wait, how many world leaders am I going to beat up in this story? First Baine, now… Alright, maybe I admit to having a problem. Or, a kink. Who knows.

Kael'thas stood calmly however, as if he was entitled to clobber me and so expected no retaliation. That honestly made me hesitate.

He said, "My wife. Mine."

"Your ass. Mine!" That's my way of putting it.

"Make another comment like that about Saturna and I, and you may not have a face left. Maybe Sylvanas won't understand why an investigator from Thunderbluff got throttled, but Nathanos will. He'd have done the same in my place, with his woman. So, don't try that 'oh the warchief says' excuse on my again. I have a right to protect my own. And you just forced me to protect my honor, and my wife's, with you."

I really needed to hit him back, now that the floor was wide open to it. Hey, he started it!

Kael'thas continued to regard me with cool superiority.

I sighed and dropped my fist. Actually, I was remembering something else. It was stupid of me to forget it in the first place. Lives depended on it. Mine, especially.

"That rogue…" Well, ratting him out might get Alessandre killed again, if Kael'thas thought he'd already eliminated the threat back in Mulgore. But why should I be loyal to Al of all people?

Again. I'm calling him 'Al' again. For the love of…

"Kael'thas, you never killed him, did you? Alessandre is not dead."

He shrugged, "Sometimes you shoot an old dog. Sometimes you miss in the worst way."

"But you, Kael'thas Sunstrider, you never miss. Saturna said it. Illidan told me the same thing."

Kael'thas looked thoughtful. He wasn't about to lie to me, not this time. He looked academic. He was thinking through how to explain the principle.

"His superiors, the Kaldorei Rogue Network, they want answers. If he lives, then he can give them some. But killing Alessandre would have raised further questions. More questions, more rogues, more problems."

I gave a solemn nod to that.

Kael'thas felt his gloved fist, the one that hit me, "So now, the KRN is fat and satisfied. They may even think that they've won. They were able to save his life, they believe. They were able to outwit me too, or so they think."

"So you didn't shoot the dog." I tried not to think of Zoca, or his poor analogy, "Instead, you gave her a bone."

"Turaho, I'm sure he's around here somewhere. And I'm also sure my own army of spies and Bloodknights are onto him. I just didn't feel like telling you that."

"Gee, thanks."

"But Alessandre has plenty of toys and distractions to play with in the Ghostlands. I thought that was what you saw for yourself. You couldn't resist peeping at it, nor could Anthene… it'll be the same for him, just on the other side of the issue. I'm controlling the whole spectacle, you know."

Toys? Distractions? Had Kael'thas still not put two and two together? I prayed that without me at the palace, Anthene could hold her own. Her parents were about to be no help whatsoever. Perhaps it does take a Pathfinder, a rogue, a sort of seedy, roguish mind like mine or hers to notice certain things. I was starting to believe that Kael'thas' greatest flaw when it came to his family was that he held them all in such high regard. Not a crime to be a proud papa but… pretty soon, when the Night Elf shyte hit the fan, it was going to feel like one. And I felt bad for Kael'thas, at least on that. He was about to be walking around, feeling as betrayed as Illidan.

Kael'thas turned to finally go, but then he paused, "I have to ask, why does this theoretical dog have a gender? You said 'she'. 'You gave her a bone,' you said. "

I decided I was done having my first civil conversation with Kael'thas, in all this time. Before, on our way to the bar that time, it was just the lead up to some practical joke. When I was forced to interview him after that, it was all on his terms. Later, up in my bedroom, he'd threatened me. I hoped this first, business-like exchange would also be our last. Plus, my muzzle still hurt. Bastard.

"I'll send you everything." Kael'thas made a dismissive, aristocratic wave in his red-and-gold glove. He conjured a portal back to the castle for himself alone, "Your gun, supplies for camping in Eversong, I'll even send your _kodo_."

I've never heard someone say 'kodo' with such derision before. And they're such sweet creatures, everyone knows that. I'm sure it took an effort.

After Kael'thas left, I realized that I never told him where I was going to make camp. You don't just make camp any old place, and it would have been a further waste of my time to stay right on the spot whimpering with big sad eyes, like a lost puppy, and hope for him to come find me later. I decided to go for a long walk.

What does a good woodsman need? A source of clean water. Some protection from the elements. Downwind so my enemies can't scent me out easily. Kindling for fire was already all around me. It felt good to be doing this, searching for solutions my way, in my own element. Now that we were alone, there was another thing I'd been longing to do since seeing Illidan.

I whistled for Zoca.

She raced out of the spirit world, out of nothing it seemed, then licked my hand. I tousled the fur at the back of her head, then she charged ahead of me.

Oh, but I'm a few years older than when I was, when I first lost her. I wasn't going to play tag. She huffed at me, it was almost a bark, but she really wasn't so angry. She went dashing off to enjoy running through the world by herself.

 _Don't let Kael'thas or his Bloodknights ever see that dog._

It was what Illidan had said. Was me having a ghost wolf really such a big deal? In my family, we know about the spirits, we know how things really work. My mother was a shamaness, that stuff was never weird for me.

Then I thought about Illidan's other warning, that the Knights of the Blood Nexus would try to recruit me if they ever found out. Found out what? It's not like…

Nobody got to be a paladin and a shaman at the same time.

Right?

I just had… the ear of the spirits. A way to speak their language. I was more versed in it than most. It's not as if I could control the elements themselves. There was a big difference. Maybe to a Night Elf, even a prominent Night Elf like Illidan, shamanism amounted to about as much. A ghost dog here, a trip through the spirit world there… Even Illidan still had a lot to learn.

I found a good spot by the source of the brook that Anthene and I had enjoyed earlier. The Ghostlands was miles and miles downhill. From where I was, I could just see the deep green line of that plagued wood on the horizon. I looked at the golden trees all around, the wall of pale rock that sort of held back the wind, would hold in the warmth of the campfire once I built it.

"What do you think, Zoca girl? Can I still make us a good camp in the middle of nowhere?"

She circled me, wagging her transparent blue tail. But she was tired.

A ghost dog that could still get herself all sweet and tuckered out. Nice thing to see.

I dragged sticks together and made a fire. It gave me some time to think.

What did I know for sure? Kael'thas had Greatfather Winter, somewhere. I was convinced of it. He, and Saturna too, practically confessed during that session I listened in on, using my marble. He'd said, 'I know you want to handle this the legal way' something like that. They both wanted me to give up and go home, so they could get on with getting rid of the old Dwarf. I also felt sure Kael'thas was more than happy to handle Greatfather Winter the illegal way, but Saturna would never let him.

So. Where was Greatfather Winter?

And who exactly took him, if not Kael'thas?

I needed to know who actually put their hands on the old Dwarf. I needed evidence of it, too. Why? Well, frankly, I wanted to put Kael'thas in jail. I truly did. I hated Kael'thas, and everything he tried to get away with. I hated how he was with his wife, I felt Saturna could do better. I thought she ought to have a fling with me first if she couldn't out and settle down with a Tauren… Wait, I'm engaged, nevermind… But she didn't need Kael'thas, for crap's sake. Their marriage looked more to me like Kael'thas trying desperately to keep the woman, and Saturna always trying to convince herself that Kael'thas was a better man than he actually was. So she kept making excuses, clinging on… I was afraid to touch the issue of parentage, why she might have borne him children that weren't… And why he let her… anyway.

Sadly, if Saturna was covering for Kael'thas, then she would be facing jail time too.

I couldn't explain why, but I was also sure that one of these Bloodknights, with their oath of loyalty, their fancy country estate houses I heard about but never got to see… They were the ones keeping Greatfather Winter. He was holed up in someone's fancy basement, most like. I guess it was mainly because Kael'thas wanted to keep me in the Sunspire so badly. The real answer must have been in the countryside. Just minutes ago, Kael'thas had given the surest tell there ever was on the matter. He hated me being out in the country. And it wasn't about the trees and cute golden squirrels everywhere.

Last thing of all—which was sad, because it was the most important—was the old Dwarf still alive? I hoped so.

Anxiety about the state of him, this fear and nervousness coming from Kael'thas, his Bloodknights, his advisors… That most likely meant a very much alive Dwarf was around somewhere. Bodies rot, or they can be burned to ash. A living, breathing Dwarf was harder to keep under control. He had a scent to leave, for one.

I looked at Zoca who rested by the fire. She was lying up with one paw tucked beneath her translucent body. She looked more sage than she ever did in life.

"What do you know, girl? What do you think, hrm? Uncle Illidan give you anything else useful at all while you were with him?"

She twined an uneasy ear back. A faint admission that, while she was very interested in our latest adventure, she still didn't speak Tauren.

Ah, well.

Illidan was the third person to underscore how involved the Kal'dorei Rogue Network was in this thing. Alessandre still being around was grim proof of it. The Night Elves' mission was so critical that deaths needed to be faked. Spies needed to be stationed in the Ghostlands, on long term campaigns. A Blood Elf crown princess needed to be seduced.

And worse, they'd been there so long, that even Kael'thas had developed a blasé perspective on it. Like it was a fact of life, couldn't be helped. For as long as the Night Elves existed, they would be on his doorstep…

Meydiri had said that Greatfather Winter was helping the Night Elves with their tree, with Teldrassil. Well, then. I wish I knew more about magic. Something obvious was going on here, I could almost see it in front of my face, I wanted to strangle it, but I just didn't know enough about that end of things. Magical theorems and histories eluded me. Meydiri would have been so much better about that part. She was the one who turned me onto that line of inquiry in the first place. Teldrassil, the Twilight Cultists and their thing with Alessandre…

No matter. If you don't know the details, the truth is still out there. As they say in the profession, maybe you can't name the demon, but he still exists. He still needs to be avoided, and his evil works, stopped. I barely understood the Night Elves' magic out in Ashenvale, but I figured out enough to not get killed by it.

And, for this mission? I knew that the Night Elves needed Greatfather Winter to save their tree. I knew that the Blood Elves were never going to give him back alive. I knew that Kael'thas had ordered the whole thing done. The Legion thing about Kael'thas secretly having horns, and the Twilight Cultist connection, those two pieces were starting to feel like red herrings. Once, Kael'thas had been involved with the Legion and he was still battling an addiction to fel magic. Once, Alesandre had got revenge on the Twilight Culists… So what?

But, then again… why did the Legion and the Twilight's Hammer Cult still keep coming up? I wanted to forget about it, but nobody would let me. Circumstances, events, wouldn't let me.

I decided to see the flames of the fire now, not the trees around. I tried to remain focused on my mission. All that mattered now—there were now only days left until the holiday, and I was the only man capable of finding Greatfather Winter before someone finished him. If this conflict with the Blood Elves and the Night Elves finally erupted, then Greatfather Winter would be the one in the middle, getting squeezed.

I may not like the idea of the magical Dwarf, but I didn't want his magical blood on my hands, either.

I noted the sifting of grass and leaves. I had ignored it for a while because Zoca had been doing it, wagging her tail. She pointed her nose in the air and was really wagging it now.

I chose to go on pretending that it wasn't a thing, but my eyes scanned the trees and rocks around, trying to pick up a new presence.

That was when Zoca disappeared.

"Zoca!" I was up on my feet immediately.

What could do that? Who would be powerful enough? And they walked in the very shadows, whoever they were. Some instincts override others. Losing that dog again threw all my expert Pathfinder training out the window. I'd disarmed before bed. If it was that damn Alessandre again, he could very well finish me.

Then I heard Zoca's barking. It was hollow, and it kind of… whispered at points. It was all around me, inside my ears too. Both near and far away. It was coming from the spirit world.

I turned around and saw a shamaness standing before me. She was a white Tauren spirit wearing beads on her horns, and a thick garland of marigolds around her neck.

Marigolds light the way of the dead.

"…Mom?"

Zoca reappeared then, gleefully wagging her tail and dancing circles around her other family, now suddenly back for her to play with. I suppose Zoca had done the equivalent of run outside to say hello before anyone else, then follow the guest back into the house.

Mother was not happy to see me, however. She glided up, floating over the ground, as majestic as anything. It was enough to throw anyone off.

Then, she went right upside my head.

"Boy! What are you doing now?! You're hanging out with Illidan Stormrage, you're starting fights with Kael'thas Sunstrider—you got engaged to that Meydiri Ravenweld and you didn't even ask your mother's good opinion first. Then I came to see you in Mulgore, but you're aaaall the way over here, living it up with all these… she-Elves, in Eversong Woods?"

"Ma, I'm a grown man—"

She hit me again.

"OW!"

"Don't you sass me!"

Relatives. Oh, the joy of the season.


	22. Epiphany

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : It's not a big deal, but also kind of funny. A gamer friend pointed out that I've been spelling it wrong the whole time and it should be "Blood Knight", two words.

So, what happens next? A holiday party with Sylvanas! Will she wear a costume? Busting in and investigating Blood Knights in their own homes! Mama drama! Angry fiances, Sunstrider princesses, Tyrande and Malfurion, the magical Dwarf himseslf, Goblins galore… I'm excited. I'm also amazed that I crammed so much into a holiday story.

* * *

 **Chapter 22: Epiphany**

"Turaho, honey. I do feel for you…"

My mother Akeisha Runestalker, and she's a ghost remember-Ma was perfectly serene after she popped me in the head. Typical shaman. Release the fury of the elements, and then—and only then—do you remember you're a mere mortal and can't actually throw god-like weight around. Because that would make you like… a horrible, sadistic old god with my mother's graying hairdo.

Don't worry. I'm really good at not saying things like that out loud, not in front of my mother at least.

"But son, this is getting ridiculous, isn't it? We're close to Winter's Veil eve now, by the skin of our teeth."

"Um, _our_?"

"Yes." My mother turned from the sunshine poring through bright yellow leaves on that side of the glen. Ma was another golden-hided Tauren like myself. White fur covered her hands up to her elbows, as well as her hocks, up to her knees. But she wasn't some holier-than-thou priestess sort. My mother was always hard-working and practical. She usually wore hide pants and a vest with all her jewelry and the spiritual bits and bobs hanging from her belt. This was a woman ready for action. I didn't see the large red-and-white staff she always carried, but tried not to worry. Mainly, it just meant Ma wasn't that pissed at me. Yet. In life, a lot of people always mistook that candy-colored cane for some giant, mystical accessory. But my mother liked to clobber people with it.

She re-arranged her now ethereal trinkets, then dusted off her hands. Ma was also able to hover off her hooves, just above the grass. She lifted her muzzle and announced with authority for all the denizens of the forest to behold! "One thing Mey was right about, from what you said. You being out here alone is stupid, and a huge mistake. So now, I am helping."

"Ma—"

"Shush." She had a seat on a rock. Her rainbow of bead fringe, sewn down the sides of her hide pants, trickled far more jubilantly than was in her nature.

"Ma. I appreciate you visiting me for the holiday. But I hate to have to keep telling you this, you're not actually qualified to help me on these matters. You're not trained as a Pathfinder."

"Nor are you, not anymore." She flashed an ironic, nasty smile before resuming her sage countenance. "You are a Sunwalker now. Even if you reached out to the Pathfinder lodge for help on Hunter Rise, they'd ignore the hell out of you."

"Mom."

"They have been eager and waiting for the chance. Son, it's just you and me."

My mother did not need to be in the middle of this. She could be vain, nasty, stubborn and heavy-handed. Saturna would sweet-talk and use Farseer Akeisha Runestalker's giant ego against her. Kael'thas would hate her instantly.

…What?

I'd heard the leaves moving for a while. Again. I wasn't surprised when my next guest showed up, though I was worried that Zoca had gone away to greet them. Had that ghost dog secretly befriended one of the Blood Elves out here? Please don't tell me Illidan Stormrage himself was about to roll up on my ma and I.

We were not prepared.

Ma cut eyes at me. "None of your jokes."

"I didn't even- I didn't _say_ anything!"

Whatever was out there, it suddenly got agitated. Even footfalls kicking about dried leaves that fell during autumn a month ago, now sounded like a scuffle.

Drat. I still didn't have my gun. My mother eyed me, recognizing the same thing. "Aren't you at the least supposed to have a mace, or a shield? Aren't you supposed to have your glorious Light spells?"

I swallowed jibe against me, because now, it would have been clear to us both that it wasn't the right time. Tauren sense of smell is better than most other races, someone very important was coming.

Zoca re-appeared, barking happily.

"Ho… Meydiri. Darling, how lovely to see you."

Oh, but it was not happy.

My now fiancé Meydiri tramped out into our little clearing with a young Blood Elf girl wedged under her arm. And I mean that Mey had hefted her up off her feet and the poor thing was still kicking.

Mey was about as offended and disgusted with me as I sensed she should have been. Her weeks'-old letter I never sent, after I promised her back in Thunderbluff that I would write? It was crumpled in my pocket. My sweating hand kinda gripped it right then.

Yeah, Pathfinder Meydiri Ravenweld was the kind of dame to get hot on some offense then hoof it halfway across Azeroth just to have an argument. Note that she never had to ask where I was, and I wasn't even at the palace at the time. My mother and I have a spiritual bond, that's Ma's excuse. Meydiri is just… well an excellent tracker and a badass.

A badass with a great tail.

Meydiri was unphased by me checking her out. She had a very black hide with streaks of white down her muzzle. They could have been warpaint, she would have been born looking ready to do battle. What a mean little baby calf she must have made. Mey huffed at me through both nostrils, "Who is this uppity runt? She tried to jump me—Me? A hardened, real Tauren Pathfinder." And then she glanced around the naked space that served as my camp at the moment. It seemed a derisive commentary on how low I'd sunk to be sitting in the middle of nowhere in the Elves' kingdom.

And, after Mey told me not to go alone. I was starting to feel overwhelmed by all these women dive-bombing into my life.

Ready for one more?

I bowed my head, gentile. "Crown Princess Anthene'alas Sunstrider. So good to see you again, after our very sensitive debacle. And, with you in possession of the even more sensitive information I need for my investigation."

Mey could be crass, far worse than my mother. She leaped right over the critical parts and stuck with her own private, vengeful agenda. Hers and mine. "Oh? A _sensitive_ debacle? Is that what you hot-shot Sunwalkers are calling it these days?"

"Put me down!" Anthene screeched. She dug her nails in. That finally got Anthene what she wanted. Mey near dropped her.

Anthene got back to her feet quickly. "Well! Maybe I won't tell you about being the last one to see Greatfather Winter alive, after all!"

Mey stalked right between me and everyone else, cutting a line. Or, circling in. Possibly marking her territory in front of the other females.

My mother huffed, "Meydiri."

"Farseer."

Wow, Mey even avoided first names with my mother. My mother gave a gracious nod to Anthene, "Your majesty. May the spirits guide, and all the elements be with you."

My mother's sage manners diffused it some. Old Farseer trick. I watched Anthene go from red to more her normal sun-touched skin tone. Hrmph, everything that wasn't a Tauren covered in fur could still seem odd to me at times. People with skin that could blush all over their bodies had no hope about hiding their emotions, did they? Also, Anthene was really able to look so like her mother with her curling blonde hair down over her shoulders… I got caught noticing that in front of my kinswomen.

Mey set teeth and crossed her arms. My mother rolled eyes at me.

Anthene explained that we only had a little while. She'd followed her mother's Blood Knights out this far into the forest, then was able to guess my location and ride ahead. They were slower, since they were towing all my gear and the camping supplies I asked Kael'thas for.

"I guess between a judgmental mother and an angry girlfriend, I can't ask for you for real privacy, about what we discussed." Anthene met my eye in a confidential way.

Ma adjusted one of her turquoise bracelets. She corrected, "Vigilant mother."

"I'm vengeful." Mey corrected for her part, "And on top of that, I'm his fiancée."

I cleared my throat a few times. Ma and Meydiri refused to budge and give Anthene and me privacy. I decided to just go into it as best I could, but even then, my voice still faltered. "So Princess Anthene, I'll tell you what Illidan, erm, implied…"

The Tauren women didn't like me talking in code to someone younger, attractive, and let's face it, elven. No matter how many times I tried to emphasize our mysterious conversation was about politics and not getting into someone's phoenix panties. Err, shouldn't have used the phrasing. Especially, not such specific phrasing—as if I even know! Soon after that, Anthene resented their assumptions about her. But then, it escalated to horrific. All three asserted that they were my only shot at finding Greatfather Winter and that I needed to work with them.

Did I have a deathwish, in that case? And was this us working together? It felt more like we were all caught in one of those steel bear traps and it was closing in and stabbing me and I was choking for some air…

"Ugh! Will you stop being so stubborn!" Meydiri flared at me.

"You have mere _days_ left, Turaho. And you haven't been making your best effort, son." My mother tried to worry me again.

Anthene crossed her arms, and kicked a twig out of her way, "And less than an hour before the Knights of the Blood Nexus arrive on this spot. If they're not already listening in on our clandestine conversation. We need a solid plan from you, Tauraho. Now."

I tried to get past them fighting over me, which was really what it all was. Ma never got our mother-and-son holiday alone in Mulgore, Mey felt understandably slighted. Anthene? I think she just hates her father Kael'thas that badly. She's so desperate to be seen as independent of the Sunstrider family in her own right, a professional, and I was her only link to the big leagues of Horde spywork, I guess. She wanted to solve this case for her own reasons. So, before you accuse me of giving the women in my life a hard time, yes—there's the proof they were being ridiculous. On top of that, the holidays can make people so testy, too.

I leaned in, found my investigator's voice. "Anthene, tell me about the last time you saw Greatfather Winter."

She went into it quickly, almost happily. "You'll see at once that I'm not a suspect, either. I know that's your first line of questioning…"

"No questioning, just… please," for the love of Mu'usha above! "Please tell me when, where, what you saw, heard, all of it."

"He was suddenly in my room one night when I was up late, reading. Used magic to just… appear." To this, Mey rolled her eyes, and it was getting annoying for me. I mean, really, why would Anthene need to or even try to seduce Greatfather Winter of all people? "And he gave me this." Anthene reached down into her satchel and withdrew a folded piece of paper. She read, "Dear Turaho…"

What the—wait a second.

I had to raise my hand. I had to try and at least finally stop the madness.

I said this carefully, "Greatfather Winter… that old magic Dwarf… He gave you a letter addressed to me? And you had it this entire time? But you—"

"Shh!" My mother looked like I was interrupting one of her favorite fire-side stories. Likely, the potential for me being horribly abused and embarrassed by the cold truth, and all her warnings about me not doing this stuff (the majority of my life choices) right, it sat very well with Ma. Meydiri sighed and paced on those black hooves of hers. She had a kind of defiant, broody strut. I could tell she was working out her suspicious energy, rather than start another argument.

Oh, I can't help admiring that leggy gal. I also adore her usefulness and intelligence. Whenever Mey chooses to be calm.

We three were finally settled down enough for Anthene to read Greatfather Winter's letter all the way through…

 _Dear Turaho,_

 _I have the power to traverse space and time—since those are the same—as you know. Or, you're as ignorant as you always seemed and I just proved it to you. Anyway. When I realized how late you were going to be, I arranged for my own prompt rescue. A feat that the Bronze dragonflight should learn from._

 _Nevermind about the gory details or how it all measures up this time around-It took you weeks to find me—though it felt like an entire year for some reason, I swear! Are you some kind of fat-headed idiot?_

 _I was blindfolded at the time and even I know. Of COURSE Kael'thas kidnapped me! Of COURSE Saturna helped him and is covering up for him—and those horrible Blood Knights of hers are covering up for those two! They do have an oath to king and country you know, and going through that mess in Outland didn't dissuade them. Do you think a quaint lil' holiday kidnapping is gonna stop them? OBVIOUSLY, that skunk Alessandre lied about half the things he told you and is only covering up his own fool games—as he was back when I first met him and attempted to bail him out in Stormwind. SURELY Illidan Stormrage never should have been allowed to become involved because he only ever cares about himself, despite his selfless 'the world needs me' charade, and so he only ever cared to complicate this kidnapping matter further. I'm SURE Illidan's laughing it up right now in his secret barrow den hideout beneath some world tree. Another EVIDENT truth that doesn't require EVIDENCE—the Burning Legion is involved because it's KAEL'THAS for crap's sake. And the Twilight Cultists are always involved in every silly thing under the sun, let's face it—they think too much of themselves and their quest for world domination these days. They just keep trying though, don't they? It's at the point where it's starting to look, well, cute. I guess you have to be an immortal Titan like me to get a sense of that. Anyway, I'm rambling…_

 _I confess that I was hoping to teach you a lesson about the magic of the season by going through all of this and letting you work out the moral of the story for yourself—_

"That bastard, I knew it. He was wasting my time all along! I became a Sunwalker for his, selfish, ironic, fat butt—"

All the ladies at once, "Turaho, shh!"

Anthene resumed reading aloud…

 _But in every version of this horrifying Turaho adventure, in Winter's Veil past and present—again, your small mind wouldn't understand the timelines—I've been trapped here waiting, for ages, and the world just does not have that kind of time. Now. I've yelled at you, so let's cut straight to it. You can find me at the following address:_

 _1206 Sun—_

"After that it's… cut off." Anthene showed me the ripped page.

I lost it. I really did. "WHAT? He… The man wrote an address on the page, th-the actual… He's telling me, right now, right on that page where he's at and it's torn? TORN?!"

Anthene pouted, then couldn't look me in the eye. She said in a small voice, "Kinda."

"KINDA? Kinda?!"

Ma sighed with deep disappointment in me, "Turaho, please don't yell at the girl."

Mey loved it, "No, she's a _princess_."

Anthene slowly turned on Mey.

I shouted, "I will kill… all of you! Get out. Get away from me! And you—give me that letter. How did you even lose half of it when he gave it to you, into your own hands?" I slapped the back of one big hand into the palm of my other one, repeatedly as I made that essential point.

Anthene blinked and hopped back, "I stowed it away, at first. I skimmed it, since it seemed important. But father was coming into my room to tell me something and I didn't have time… I kept thinking I'd give it a good read later on, when father wouldn't notice. But it kept… uh, slipping my mind to do it. The thing is, it was on paper, it was written down, in Greatfather Winter's handwriting, and well-hidden. I thought things were solid and safe. I was always going to, I guess, fall back on that paper. Anyway, when I got it back out of the box today, half was just… gone. Someone must have done it."

My mother rubbed her chin, "My, I wonder who would do such a thing?"

"THE KIDNAPPER MAYBE?"

Mey couldn't stop herself from laughing finally. It was a decent villainess laugh, "Alright. This was great fun, I'll admit." She swatted me playfully in the arm, "Come on, let's go hogtie Kael'thas."

"It's NOT Kael'thas!"

They were astounded to hear me say that. What? Is all my investigative work so pathetic in their eyes? Is this not what I've been doing for a living for as long as any of them could remember?

"Not only do I have my own leads that tell me otherwise, Greatfather Winter was blindfolded when he was kidnapped. He was also on the _inside_ of the operation, the object of it. He doesn't know the breadth, the depth of it. Who initiated, who is ultimately responsible and needs to get jailed? I won't say this again, Whoever's done it, I want them all locked up!"

Anthene tried to agree in the middle of my explanation, "Not to mention that my father would never do this. Definitely not a second time. He was a completely different person back then, in Outland. And he has far better things to worry about today."

I spoke more loudly, "Not just the supposed ringleader—I want them ALL! And I need the right people, don't I? If not, we'll put him… _them_ away in jail, but then the same damned thing will happen again and I'll be stuck in Silvermoon for another year—few weeks of my vacation. It's only been a few weeks, I mean. But it feels like _an eternity_ with you people!"

Mey shook her head at the whole thing. "It has to be Kael'thas."

"It is _not_ my dad!"

I wasn't going to be derailed by bickering this time, "In his own writing, there on the page, Greatfather Winter says that he was blindfolded when they took him—this _is_ his writing, isn't it, Mey?"

Mey would know. She'd dealt with old gods, Titans and the like before. She'd catch the… 'scent of the signature.' I don't know what that means exactly, but that's the phrasing the Twilight Cultists she works with use in the trade.

Mey stepped in and peered over Anthene's shoulder. "Yeah, it's an immortal Titan or better. Strokes are magically inclined, his hand would have pressed on the page as he worked his way down…" she sniffed it, and Anthene cringed, "Greatfather Winter falls in that range."

"Well, then. Greatfather Winter's own perception of the event isn't something we can rely on. Like I said."

Mey scowled on my behalf, "This stinks. I really does."

"It positively reeks." Ma gave Mey a subtle look.

I tapped the paper, "We've got the first part of the address, though."

Anthene was already shaking her head, "Lots of streets that start with… 'Sun'-something. But the number, we might be able to narrow down from there. Though, I guess it only tells us it's at the start of the street."

I covered my eyes. I turned my back on them and seethed.

I must have been out of my head with rage. I heard Mey saying to the others, "…Anthene, you'd better get going before the Blood Knights catch you here. And Farseer Runestalker—"

"I don't need to be told." Then I felt mother's hand on my shoulder after that haughty remark, "Son, all you need to do is think it and I'll be here for you again. Just ask me back whenever it's safe for you. And, in the meantime, just do your best. I promise I'll be closeby, keeping an eye on things wherever I can. Maybe something useful will even pass through the spirit realm..."

She said more, but my brain registered her pattern of voice as worrying over me like always. It melded into the regular sounds of the forest, I drowned it all out. Ma missed me, so she would ramble a little, I suppose…

Next, someone kissed my forehead. A lighter, Tauren muzzle. This was Mey, "Me being the sweeper, the hired muscle, the secret weapon? It only sort of works if they don't know I'm here yet, right?"

I half looked over my shoulder at Mey. She gave me another cuddle. I was too low to respond.

"Buck up, dear. I won't be far. I'll return when the coast is clear and we can…" she was either feeling amorous because I was suddenly so forlorn-looking, or anxious now about haranguing me for never writing to her. "We'll sort out the rest together, just the two of us. Like old times. Everything will be fine, Tauraho. Every dog has its day…"

Zoca barked and wagged her tail when Mey left. I heard Mey chiding the dog, to stay put.

Then, I know that the Blood Knights came. They unloaded crates, asked me about the exact location for my tent. They went by in a kind of red-and-black blur. I only stirred to tell them not to bother my dog when Zoca barked at all the strangers handling objects that smelled like me.

"I didn't know you had a dog, Turaho. What kind of dog is that?"

Sunthraze. I should have known Kael'thas—really, Saturna—would have sent the clever one. I knew Pyorin's annoyed grunts well enough. He was unloading the rest, with some others helping him.

Then Sunthraze, lower, "What's wrong with this dog, Pyorin? Tell me the holiday egg nog is still getting to me."

At last, silence. They must have drawn their own startled conclusions about Zoca behaving very much as if she was alive, but then appearing pretty blue and translucent, like my mother. Like their queen Saturna on one of her off-days. Like any ghost.

Pyorin let out a low whistle. Then he got nudged to shut up.

They asked me a few more questions about how I wanted the camp set up, but I didn't care. I think I was finally, properly depressed.

The Blood Knights went away. The sun began to set. I still sat, looking at the woods. I loathed myself.

Mother said I'd failed my mission. She was riding me, to get me to pull myself together and do right by my work. Yes, she was my mother. Yes, she could be annoying and she was no investigator like me, but...

Truth be told, any professional at my level would have walked in and said the same. Finally, I'd seen that about all that I had done.

Fatally compromised. I told Mey she'd done that with the Twilight Cultists. But here I was, alone. I'd been alone in Quel'thalas up until tonight, truly. I foolishly befriended Saturna—of course she was running distraction on me. I even knew it and enjoyed letting her do it. In the end, she realized that it didn't matter whether I was onto her game or not. It just needed to work, and it was working well, alright.

I gave Kael'thas Sunstrider himself half a chance because of his wife Saturna and it was more than enough for him to mess with me. While I was recovering from all that, the Blood Knights had a head start on covert briefings right beneath where I slept, I bet. Right in the Sunspire itself. Meanwhile, all this time, there had been a piece of paper, written by the Dwarf himself. His location, his address, what he had for seconds at brunch the day he disappeared… so much invaluable information was sitting right under my nose.

In a way, I should have never listened to Anthene, either, when we first met. She had an agenda. I let her have that agenda, have her youthful innocence, her indiscretions. Honestly, when she said she had a secret about Greatfather Winter, I should have searched her room, myself. Instead, someone, the real person behind everything, they had done it before me and hidden the evidence.

All this time… How did I ever get tricked out of it? I should have brought a proper team of investigators from Thunderbluff. I should have gone straight through a portal with Saturna instead of traipsing by zeppelin, and by sea…

They used me. They intelligently and ably used me, those damn clever Blood Elves. They did it by making me so comfortable, by letting me feel like a friend. Hell, I admired the men who came in and set up my camp, full of bugged equipment for Kael'thas to listen in, I'm sure.

And those Blood Elves were all correct—what had Kael'thas said when I listened in using my scrying orb? What Ihad accused Saturna of… Had I even got around to doing that yet, when she managed to remain so slyly elusive since I got here? All they had to do was wait for me to get demoralized, just like I was now, and give up.

I was tempted. My girl was here. We could run off somewhere, get married, have a well-earned honeymoon, and let Baine clean up the mess when it eventually reached Sylvanas… and Sylvanas! She was due here any day now, for that damned holiday party. I really should decide to leave in that case, get the fel far away from Silvermoon with Mey and fast…

At last, the cherry on top of my misery. I'd already been visited by the three so-called wise women. One brought me a ratty piece of paper dressed up as gold, the other had some smokey attitude, and the other gifted me a pop on the head. Well, I got that out of order.

Who else was left but the man himself, the most cracked-up holiday cracker?

No, this time I did not mean Kael'thas.

While I sat there, destroyed to the bone and too resentful to even get my hackles up properly over an enemy approaching-and he would have sensed that too-this big Night Elf man strutted right into my camp.

Alessandre kept away from the campfire light (or maybe he swerved around it when it reminded him of something, ha) and checked over his shoulder one last time to see if anyone was really there watching us. But yeah, it was him. Alive, well. Not a damn scratch. And still wearing that perfect leather, the fit bastard.

"Evening. May I sit?"

I felt like a miserable vagrant in my own home. I hated what my life had come to, where I was, and I felt empty. No hope for tomorrow getting better by any degree.

Alessandre sat on a stool set across from me. He lit his pipe. Smoked, waited. Then, he went into his vest and unscrewed a dark flask of something.

"Want a drink?"

I didn't think about whether I appreciated it or not. I knocked back as much as I liked, then handed it back to him.

Then I asked, "Would Tyrande Whisperwind like me stuffed with acorns or an apple in my mouth when you serve me up in Darnassus, roasted?"

Alessandre took his time answering that. He would have sensed how dangerous my mood was. I'd never behaved this way with him. Maybe he figured I might lose control, get violent if he didn't handle it precisely.

"You know, I never said—"

"That you'd died? I suppose corpses don't. You sure enjoyed letting me think it, though."

"Do we work together? I did offer that, once."

I was furious and also fatigued about him having made a good point. I wanted to throttle him though, slam his head into the ground a few good times. That ass! Technicalities and technicalities… He knew precisely what he did to me!

Then, something occurred to me. I flicked an ear at him, "You don't have the other half of that letter, do you?"

"No. I would have finished the whole mission by now, if I did. Like you." He offered me more liquor. I frowned, but went ahead and had some. "But when I heard Anthene say the other half was gone, I took advantage of the Blood Knights being busy out here setting up your camp. I back-tracked to Silvermoon, to her room, to search for it. She was telling the truth. It really is gone."

I let him have it. "How do you know where her bedroom is?"

Alessandre leveled with me. "I haven't been vacationing out here, you know. And I haven't been the puppet in some game with the Blood Elves, no matter what you think."

"Yeah, cause it's the other way around with her, isn't it?"

Alessandre kept his eyes right on me. Confident, unwavering. "Those women—no offense—one is your mother, the other is your girlfriend and it has to be said—probably a cultist…" he paused.

I was too upset to really think about that much. Meydiri has been accused of worse in her time. A lot of it by Fitz who simultaneously claims to adore her for being one of his loudest, drunkest customers.

"The last one, Anthene, is the damn kidnapper's daughter."

"We don't have solid proof yet that Kael'thas did it."

"Oh come on! Any court in the land would lock Kael'thas away."

"It's all circumstantial, it's not enough."

"He's Horde. That's what your problem is." Alessandre went back to his pipe. Puffed.

I don't know how, but I was appreciating the conversation. He wasn't complaining at me, whining or threatning me. Just straight up talk. I could trust Alessandre to be himself. A professional. And a jerk.

It was… refreshing.

I grunted, "If you listened in on that much of our conversation today, then you also know what I already told them. I have my own intel, and so I'm not comfortable just throwing Kael'thas right under the horse carriage."

He lowered his pipe, smirked, "I have my own intelligence as well. It says different. And yes, I have the help of the Night Elf camps in the Ghostlands."

Our next move was obvious. Painfully so.

"Turaho, I think we can find Greatfather Winter, nail Kael'thas—because he is the one responsible-and resolve this if we work together. I'm asking you one last time, Turaho."

I didn't say anything yet about how much sense it made now.

He winked, "Hate to say it, but just give the ladies some crap assignments while we two sort this out. I can even throw some red herrings out for them to follow, so they stay off your back. How does that sound?"

"I do need a partner but…" My own mother. The other woman, I was due to marry. I was afraid to argue with Mey or let her down again in any way, especially with our history. And… let's face it, Anthene was the woman I'd have on the side if I was young and spry enough to manage it—but I wasn't, and that was secretly ruining me. Also, Anthene looked too much like her mother. I was going to fail if I relied on those three. It was too demoralizing. Like being sent into battle with no pants on.

I might have smiled at that right then, my own joke.

Al missed nothing, "So, you don't outright hate me."

"Are we really partners then?"

He almost smiled like a boy, "Definitely. Sure—"

I cut him off, "Real partners share information. I want something real from you, first. Something useful. Tell me and then maybe I'll trust you, trust that you aren't yanking me around this time. Illidan Stormrage already warned me about you."

"Illidan…"

Ah. So the sneak-attack black cat didn't listen in at every keyhole did he? That would have been a hard one to overhear when Kael'thas would not have mentioned it to a soul, would not have needed to confide in anyone additional to get it arranged. In his head and Illidan's, that's where the appointment was kept. And it also meant Kael'thas' father-in-law, who was there in the room when I demanded to see Illidan, Lord Mageblade, he could keep a secret. I'd have to remember that too.

Alessandre was fascinated, and a little frightened too. I could pick that up from him. "What did Illidan have to say? Where was he—How did you even…?"

"I wanna know what Kael'thas is actually doing when he's so good at lying to me. Illidan works like a…"

"Scribe? A record-keeper. Because they used to work together, and Illidan knows Kael'thas well. Illidan would be a trove of information on Kael'thas. Damn, that's clever."

"I was going to say, a scrying orb or something. Illidan knows what Kael'thas knows. Even today. They're soul-linked."

"Still?"

It felt good, talking business. I filled Al in on what Illidan explained to me about the investigation, about the Kal'dorei Rogue Network.

"Sorry you had to find out that way, that I was still around. I did try to get some help to you, through your friend Bonnie. You know, that Kael has a fel addiction? But I also didn't want to leave any clues that might cause Kael'thas to think he hadn't finished me off. At least not for the time being."

"Hey. My skeleton would have jumped out of my hide when you showed up, otherwise." I sighed, slapped a hand on my leg. "Well. Your turn. And you'd better make it good in exchange. How about that old world tree you love so much? That lie you told me about wanting to… off Kael. But it's really been about that tree, isn't it?"

"The tree is sick."

Alessandre worked through something in his mind for a moment. It wasn't a lie. He was getting courage to tell me the truth for once. I've seen it before in plenty of people.

"…it would be terrible for the whole Horde to know. It's so much deeper than that. We've healed it a great deal, but Nordrassil is still suffering. The tree has a cancer."

I couldn't comprehend just how painful that must have been to the ones who knew. Alessandre, the rest of the rogue triumvirs, Tyrande, especially Malfurion. I wondered if Illidan was so ignorant. Playing games in the heart of the tree like that? Either Illidan didn't know or he didn't care.

"But Turaho, we think the Blood Elves have answers."

"The ley lines."

"I won't say that we're desperate."

But they were. I was no druid, but I had been in this game a long time. I've seen desperate. Another feeling. I could help with this. I could help shed light on this misery. The fog in me, it began to lift.

"…Turaho, we sought the assistance of someone powerful. Now that one, that is a strict secret. I will not say who."

I nodded, that was fair.

"But he was unable to assist us because, as we discovered, he himself was sick."

"Same problem?"

"He'd have to be a tree, Turaho, to have same affliction."

"Sorry—I'm not thinking. It's not been a good day for me."

"I'm sure it's been worse for Greatfather Winter." Alessandre looked like he felt bad, after getting his shot in. "Anyway, Greatfather Winter came along to Darnassus for the holiday. He was speaking with one of our priestesses about the tree's problem and the venerable Dwarf revealed that, in his long life, he might have some more information about… our first friend, the one we originally sought for help. Do you see?"

"You were going to have Greatfather Winter heal the friend, who could heal the tree."

"A slim chance, but one the Kal'dorei leadership is willing take."

"I see. No wonder that same leadership openly accused the Blood Elves of the kidnapping. If they know, what you just told me I mean, then holding Greatfather Winter hostage would have a direct, negative effect on your tree."

"I'm sure that Kael did it, in the marrow of my bones. But at the time we made the official complaint? We were only sure that the Blood Elves knew about our tree, and that they knew Greatfather Winter must have the magic to fix it, one way or another. He is a Titan, after all. We put two-and-two together about the Blood Elves."

"And you all did it accurately, at that." I might not have been convinced that Kael'thas was the one 'who dunnit', but the Night Elves were right that something fishy was going on, and the Blood Elves were to blame. At this point, we just needed to narrow it down.

I had to get things clear, "And you really are sure that Kael'thas, Saturna, the Blood Knights… they know that Nordrassil is suffering from a terminal affliction?"

"Potentially terminal."

No such thing. But I let Alessandre have his stubborn hope, in this instance.

On my side, I felt a twisted glimmer of pride. We, the Horde, were ontop of them. The Blood Elves knew and were handling it deftly, even if a kidnapping was involved. I wished they'd just told the rest of the Horde spy network, though. I did use to be a Pathfinder, I could have got a heads-up about the whole thing. Why did the Blood Elves keep so much strategy in-house?

I wondered aloud, "…Sylvanas doesn't know?"

"And just what do you think she'd do to our beloved world tree if she did? Her campaign to flatten Ashenvale, and Nightsong Woods as fast as possible? Sylvanas would only feel absolutely justified. She'd… burn the thing down, commit an atrocity, and claim she put it out of its misery."

Horrible truth. I kept my mouth shut.

Al finished with his pipe. A hurt look crossed his gaze. "So, then."

"Guess we're in this." I acknowledged his look.

He breathed out a stream of smoke, "I wish we'd done it sooner."

"You thinking about your well-earned tan lines?"

"Hey, Kael'thas could have melted half of me. My wife happens to be an excellent healer, however. And she was ah… very motivated to keep me as good-looking as I am."

"Ah. So while I was out here suffering, you were at home with your wife, and your feet up?"

"Opal says I have cute feet."

I snerked.

"I have a head start on you." Al stood and hooked fingers into his pants loops, straightened them out, and dusted off his lap. He checked his fancy belt buckle. "Go on and do the part I can't. Visit the Blood Knights, at their homes in the countryside, on the eastern ridge over there… Want a map? I'll draw you one. Question them, on their territory, not in the palace. Then, tell me what they say."

"Excellent plan. I'd be happy to."

It was a weird thing for someone in the Horde to say to someone in the Alliance.

I looked up to see Alessandre smiling down at me. I didn't like that, so I got on my feet too, and stood with him.

Alessandre offered me his hand. We shook on it.

He tried not to smile too much, "After that, I have a few more errands. You're more mobile than I am at this stage of the investigation. Don't resent me for it."

"Yeah, I was gonna say. It kind of feels like I'm working for you, now."

"Let's just follow this organically. Whomever needs to take the lead, he does. Okay? And no one can know that you're working for the Alliance."

"No. You, Night Elf, are working for the Horde."

We laughed together.

I shrugged, "It's funny. Horde or Alliance, the result will be the same, in your eyes. You think that you're going to get Kael'thas' head on a platter."

"Are you so charmed by their family still, that you're unwilling to even consider it?"

Cold. If you consider… Anthene.

I decided not to say anything more about that. I mean, I might have been wrong in my assumptions, but I have good instincts for a reason. I may be completely correct that Alessandre is, in addition to everything else, a giant womanizing arsehole. And I bet he says 'it's just business' to his wife and everyone else.

Me lusting after Saturna is completely different, so don't go there.

"It's more than that, anyway. I owe that old Dwarf. I really do. Meeting him… changed everything for me. I'm fighting to make sure that other people who need his help also get their chance at a new life. Greatfather Winter does it uniquely well. With this eternal love and compassion, even for hardened grumps like us. I was where you are now, about a decade ago? Maybe more? I was in chaos, but I was also on the verge of so many great and beautiful, peaceful things. I would have remained lost; I would have never got there, if not for Greatfather Winter. That's why we must find him and save him from Kael'thas, of all people…"

It was heartfelt and it came out of nowhere.

Al noted my surprise. "You okay?"

"No, it's just that… I kind of… I'm pretty sure I am the target of Greatfather Winter's next big miracle. But that's silly, right? And kind of up to interpretation. I mean, whether you believe or not. I've been asking each person I come across whether they believe."

"What interpretation? Greatfather Winter saves people. Saves their souls. He spreads love, Turaho."

I suddenly felt like I was in an old prayer circle at home, the village elder walking up to me, hands spread, intent on my spiritual healing while the rest shook gourds, chanted.

Al came in close, whispered, "The land must heal. Things must change. Aren't people the same?"

I saw it, "Yes, they are."

"Then, heal. Shed your old bark. Your shell, whatever it takes. After, the winter veil lifts and spring will come again."

The moment was just as soon gone. I blinked and saw Alessandre finish tapping out his pipe. He stuffed it back into his vest, then checked the rest of his clothing.

Al gave me a final nod, "I'll find you. I'll be the one in touch, just like in Mulgore."

Al gave half a salute, then looked around with a hand resting over his dagger. Satisfied that we were still not being watched, he began to stroll out of there.

"Hey, Al."

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad you lived."

Alessandre paused. He gave a short wave. Then, I watched him meld into the forest, easy as that.

Well, well. I bet you didn't see that one coming.


	23. Phoenix Dance

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

 **Note** : If you go to Tumblr and look for pooktales or trixcuomo… you will find my blogs! And you will be very angry with me for writing so much over there, while this wasn't being updated.

Trixany is essentially canon-universe Tempestraven who lost it after Kael'thas was slain. I also do in-game performances of parody Warcraft songs on Trixany… if that doesn't sound too far-fetched. You know, I forgot that I kinda started doing parody songs through my fanfiction on this site, actually. Just for fun, at the end of a story. I guess I instinctively picked it up again years later, and now it's MAYHEM. You'll love it, you should check it out.

And now, on with the (other) show!

* * *

 **Chapter 23: Phoenix Dance**

Another pro-tip for the young'uns out there. Don't ever check your scrying orb at night when you're supposed to be asleep. Especially not if you're a salty Sunwalker investigator in the middle of the stupidest, high-risk crap assignment Chief Baine and the Blood Elves have ever given you...

Mey was supposed to—or else I was the one who supposed that she would come back to camp and attempt to make up with me. Yeah, you know, in a good way? Instead, I got treated to a certain someone taking all the credit for doing none of the danged work, with someone else that I find quite cute. Okay so, even though sometimes I feel Saturna's pretty much evil.

And destructive.

When I took one of the spying marbles from my satchel late that night after Alessandre left, this is what I scryed on the glossy surface.

 _No knocks on the royal bedroom door. Kael'thas just strolled in like he wasn't in trouble with his wife for alleged holiday kidnapping and various other misdemeanors._

" _Saturna? Sorry, Starshine. I only wanted to wish you good night—"_

 _Sure, you do._

" _Oh. Now he uses nicknames and claims there's something important he has to open the door for. Why don't you call a resentful 'Sweet dreams, I guess' through the bedroom door like you've been doing for the last few days, Kael'thas?"_

 _Kael'thas held open the door to the bedroom. He leaned on the doorknob. He clearly slept in the adjoining room during their falling out, while his wife Saturna had the main bedroom._

 _He said, "Let's try again. I say, 'Good evening darling, I have something to share with you."_

" _No, you didn't say that before. You said you only wanted to wish me a good night. Now you're confessing to having a secret agenda."_

"… _And then you say, 'Why thank you, husband. Please share the message with me when I know you're only trying to be careful and avoid further confrontation."_

 _Saturna Sunstrider had a book in her lap. She sighed, but then politely set it aside. "Fine, against my better judgement…Yes, dear?"_

 _Kael'thas waited. No clue what he was thinking, this time. I hoped I didn't have to wait through another agonizing scene with him chatting up his wife under exactly the wrong circumstances. Kael'thas Sunstrider really is okay with getting freaky in some terrifying scenarios?_

 _Time… to stop thinking about all that implies about his preferences in the boudoir._

" _So, Saturna." He took tentative a step nearer, "I wanted to tell you… Turaho is gone."_

" _Oh. Uh…Gone?"_

 _Well, the way she hesitated made it feel like Kael'thas was totally capable of 'rubbing me out' as the Goblin mobsters like to put it when they end someone. Geez… When she said I shouldn't underestimate her husband, Saturna was actually telling the truth, wasn't she? It was all in that one hitch in her voice._

 _Kael'thas looked up for a moment, his smile fading. Kael needed a moment to compose himself. He clearly felt the accusation as well. And certainly so, if I could feel it from all the way where I was spying on them, camped out in the forest.  
_

" _He's moved out. I was the one who moved him out."_

 _Saturna resumed reading. She turned a page in her book, seeing right through his fast lie this time. "So Turaho got sick of you? Not a totally unfamiliar feeling."_

 _Kael'thas had been on the verge of saying something else clever, but that stopped him, "He… He did not get sick of me. Okay, so he did. But it was mutual. We men came to an arrangement. Our friendly neighborhood Tauren is going to run his investigation from Eversong Woods, if he even can."_

 _Saturna remained engrossed in whatever she was reading._

" _Look, I'm your husband and I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Can you at least close your book?"_

 _Saturna didn't look like she was ever going to. In fact, I picked up that she had the potential to be just as immature and silly with him. But then Saturna did close it. Saturna moved over and patted the bed, for him to have a seat._

" _Comfortable?" Though her tone intimated he wouldn't be so for long._

 _Well. Kael'thas did have his ways. And, however annoying I now found both the king and queen of Quel'thalas, they were two people who were so obviously in love and so longing to be back together again—despite the kidnapping and almost homicide one of them had committed._

 _One more time, I'm bitter about love for a solid reason._

 _Saturna surpised me. She started it. Her hand caressed his cheek, then she lifted deep gold hair, streaked with black away from his neck. Her fingers roved deeper into that hair of his, then he got yanked close to her face. I blinked several times, trying to figure out her little signature move while Kael'thas could only crane his neck and she whispered something menacing at him. Then, I got it. Saturna had grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of his skull._

 _I finally picked up some of what she was telling him, "…I guess. I do like torturing you."_

 _Kael'thas clearly enjoyed it, too. He wasn't really fighting her. But his face was turning red, and his neck. It did hurt._

" _If you were going to tie me up for answers, Saturna, you should've done it weeks ago."_

" _Maybe one of the evil, sexy Blood Knights you created inadvertently through Rommath, because you enslaved a Naaru and sent it back to Silvermoon to help cover your ass while you fooled around in Outland…"_

" _And I hate to ask you to stop—"_

" _She's come back to bite you. And maybe that's your destiny? For one of your own hungry, horrible creations to keep tormenting you. Even when you want her in the worst way. Even while she's in bed with you. Hrm?"_

 _He had to raise up on one knee, to get closer to her and close the space. She really was starting to injure him._

 _Saturna snarled at Kael'thas, "You're not answering me."_

 _He gasped, in pain. Or, to take a breath when she let up, only a little. I wasn't sure with those two._

" _So. She thinks she's going to use her little Blood Knight technique on me," He tugged at the shoulder of her nightgown. She let him only get so far, then gripped his wrist and pinned him down._

 _Then, Kael'thas stopped trying. Saturna tightened her hold and pulled on him, so that he was lying down. Flat._

 _She let go of his hair, then sat on his stomach._

 _His stomach, I said. I did try to angle the glass globe and see more, but there wasn't any more. The other way you can tell it wasn't adult-rated yet is because Kael'thas didn't seem happy about it._

" _I am a powerful Bloodmage, you know."_

 _She smiled, looked thoughtful. "Yes, I suppose you could fix all your problems by incinerating them. That's very you, Kael."_

 _Then she loosened her hold. She placed hands on his chest. He looked serious now as well. Saturna eyed him in his state, like cat that's caught her mouse. Not ready to eat him yet._

 _"Alright Kael'thas, let's chat. I've been trying, very hard to trust what you told me, that you did nothing wrong. That there was a real reason for all this. But what hurts is that you, in the end, when I was so sure that you'd changed—"_

" _You are my wife."_

" _And I want to trust that you haven't done anything wrong, that this truly is deeper than it seems, like you keep saying… But everyone else in the Horde, in the Alliance, in the world seems to be against you." He was already shaking his head at Saturna. She insisted, "You've put a lot of us in that same position before you know, Kaelt'has."_

" _I can't believe you're doing this now."_

" _Why did I go to Outland to find you, why did any of us? We saved you, you needed saving! Is this you really… throwing that gift away? Because of what? You barely gave me a good answer when I first asked you-"_

" _I recall exactly what I told you. Saturna?"_

 _She exhaled, then covered her face with both hands. "'We need to treat it carefully.' You said that you can't tell me more than is safe for me to know."_

" _Right, so—"_

" _Kael'thas, it's just that it sounds like a giant load of bull crap to me. Like the kinds of lies you're used to feeding…"_

" _Saturna—"_

"… _your minions."_

 _Man, I never believed she'd ever come out and say it. Poor thing._

 _Kael'thas needed to say or do something to fix this thing with his wife. The shiny paint was peeling off, it was rusting, corroding with holes in it. The whole nine. I mean, I thought it was clear enough what was going on. Kael'thas is a liar, he was using her somehow. Whatever secret of his Saturna thought she was protecting, I had this gut feeling that it wasn't worth it. If he didn't plan the kidnapping himself, then Kael'thas was still dangerously involved. And Saturna was running out of chances to get the fel out._

 _Leave him… come on, Saturna. You can do it. Come on…_

" _Kael'thas, you don't have anything else to say about it?"_

 _Leave him. It's not that hard. Just… get down, walk out the door._

 _Then something amazing happened. Saturna moved off, she got down from the bed. She backed toward that door._

 _Kael'thas leaned up on his elbows, watching her go. This concerned, then offended look on his face._

 _Go, Saturna. Run!_

 _She reached for the door latch. But then, yellow flame seared the fig leaf door carvings, the relief of does grazing, the moldings, the deep carved filigree. It could have been an ancient door for all I knew, or maybe not, but I was certain that Kael'thas was igniting it._

 _It made me think of how he tore my bed apart, without a second thought. So Kael was a natural terror, not just with his enemies._

 _Saturna got her sword from a weapon rack by the wall. Some of his staves and other exotic elven items were there, too. I don't know much about Elf… fighting… paraphanelia._

" _I have a choice in this, you know." Saturna held her sword low, but she was ready._

 _At-a-girl! Yep, a good butt-whooping works, too. I like these hard-core chicks like Meydiri, like Aponi Brightmane. Should've figured Saturna wasn't a 'cut and run' kinda chick. She was gonna sort him out first, okay. Feelin' this scene a lot._

 _Wait, I'd better run to the castle and help. If I ever made it. Or at least… make myself ready… I'd get up when there was a break point in the action. Mu'usha, this was awesome! They were finally breaking up, right?!_

 _Kael'thas eased into lounging on his side. This rotten smile in his face. Black and blonde hair all over his shoulders, the sheets. "A choice?"_

" _You're at a loss for words, aren't you?" She straightened the weapon so that it was a silvery line, glowing with the flames. Then, she passed it behind her back. "Oh, Kael'thas. You can't scheme anymore tonight, not even if you wanted to." Saturna looked down, coy, then flashed a look up at him, "So sure that something… sexy is about to happen. But isn't that my profession? Isn't that how I ruin my enemies. I can't ever let them know which side they're on. It's how I can get close enough."_

" _For what?"_

 _There was only one way through that door. She was going to have to make him let her out._

 _She placed a hand on the bed, then knelt on the edge. Saturna leaned in, eyes dreamy, an intimate gaze. Then her arm came around with that sword, she'd reversed it somehow, and the metal was ablaze. She passed it before her lover's eyes, opened her chest, winding her stomach, her hips._

" _I hate you," she whispered._

 _Kael'thas barely kept his cool, "I should… probably apologize?" he winced._

" _In a big way."She swept that sword down again, then paused, holding it skillfully between their bodies._

" _And tell me what is going on. Now."_

" _I can't…"_

 _She lunged at him, he backed into the pillows, bumped the headboard. "I'm protecting someone."_

" _Who?" Her eyes lit with new anger, "Who, Kael'thas! I better not be busting my ass for one of your old Legion buddies who's still hanging around. Am I?" She pushed the flaming sword at him again._

" _Hey! Cut it out—"_

 _Saturna looked truly pained, "Is it the Twilight Cultists? Their name keeps coming up, too."_

" _No!"_

" _Then WHO is it, Kael'thas?"_

 _He set his teeth. She was going to draw blood, I swear. Then, Kael'thas did a stupid thing. He reached over the sword, through the flames, and kissed her._

 _Flame hushed to smoke. I saw his arm take the sword. It dropped on the floor by the bed. I heard the atonal clatter of metal, clashing with no one but the marble._

 _He grabbed her. She gave a conciliatory look, went instantly sweet. They went under the covers. They made up._

… _How?_

I stuffed the stupid scrying orb into my satchel, lay flat and angrily crossed my arms in my cold, stupid, lonely bedroll.

"What the hell?"

I noted that Kael'thas hadn't confessed a thing to her. He got away with it completely. After Saturna was driven near-crazy by it, she was willing to draw a weapon on him to get a result, but she was just going to let him keep playing games, keep being a royal jerk? I was so sure Saturna was going to walk out, she had to have been faced with the cold truth of her situation, the position he'd placed them all in. So she just rolled over for him? All that training and she was supposed to be the queen and the Blood Knight matriarch, all of it fallen away like ash, over his sorry answers?

That last look of hers, almost apologizing to him. I kept seeing it. It stuck in my craw and it infuriated me. Meydiri would have never let me get away with such a game. No, Saturna was no Meydiri. Saturna wasn't as hard as, as black-and-white and sure of the truth as us Tauren…

Unless.

I dared to sit with my horrified impression and work through the revulsion. In fact, work backwards. What had that look really said? It wasn't a look from a despairing lover. And definitely not from a Tauren girlfriend, no. It was from a wife. Wives were more supposed to be more secure in their positions. Wives could dare, cross the line, take too much without asking… but no, that was the bitter me thinking again. One singular thing about a wife over a girlfriend is that wives were in it for the long haul. Wives learned to compromise, didn't they? Wives and husbands did.

Saturna's look. It said, 'Honey I'm so sorry. Honey, what have you been through?' It was the opposite of what I first thought.

And perhaps, something in what he said… combined with what Saturna already knew. Perhaps now, Saturna did know.

Kael'thas was too careful, even in his own bedroom. He could have just said it. And Saturna, too. Both of them were being careful, as if they still imagined there could be spies around, somehow. Nosey servants, even. They'd been running the kingdom for years, they probably weren't wrong about that level of caution, either.

'Is it the Twilight Cultists, they keep coming up…' She said something like that.

And he shouts, emphatically, from his core, 'No!'

But he didn't answer about the Legion thing. She accepted that shady non-answer.

No, he was more like a naughty child whose personality tells all, regardless of whether they'll admit to it. Kael'thas had told her. Not with his words, but with who he was. Classic Kael'thas, a liar, with the skillset of a villain, a so-called good one.

A liar who was protecting someone else, as Saturna deduced.

It went well with my own instinct, however…

This meant my theory about Kael'thas actually being innocent? The whole case was hanging on one helpless look Saturna had given him.

We both could easily be wrong.

I could've shared that information with Alessandre, go and tell the Alliance that I pretty much had a confession from Kael'thas himself.

Or, I could play it like a loyal member of the Horde and see a little good in the evil of it all.

I crossed my hocks in bed, stared at my idle hooves roving around in the darkness. I was nervous, but being the 'good guy' right now also felt like doing things ass-backwards. And, damn him, it meant Kael'thas' stupid… phoenix star was rising in the sky right now or some crap because things were working out in is favor if I turned out to be right. Earlier that day, I had shouted it at Mey and my mother, and Anthene too, that I liked to be thorough; that I needed to know if Kael'thas was really innocent because I had a feeling that he wasn't the most dangerous one in it, the actual perpetrator. As Saturna said, the Twilight Cultists kept coming up, the Legion kept coming up. But of course, a part of me disliked being on Kael'thas' side. The bastard deserved to be in shackles for a number of other reasons, if not this.

"Aw, for the love of—"

Time to find out whose friends of Kael'thas Sunstrider were still connected with the Legion.

My investigator's mind also raced with all the impossible ways I might contrive to get Saturna to ever do that dead sexy flaming sword dance again. No wonder they call her the Whiteblade.

But… okay, let's stay focused here.

Mostly focused.


	24. Like Shattered Glass

Disclaimer: The characters and settings created by Blizzard Entertainment Inc in this story are owned by their creators. I do not claim them as mine in any way, shape or form. I am not receiving monetary profit from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

 **Chapter 24: Like Shattered Glass**

Okay. Ugh. I checked the scrying orb one last time, but some crazy sounds were coming out of it. Weird to have to roll it around and see it at a lot of fun angles before I could get it small enough to be quiet and stow it away. I hoped being at the bottom of my bag would be enough to… unsee that. Not that Kael and Saturna getting it on was so bad, it just… didn't involve me.

Well I mean, I don't want Kael'thas in there… okay, moving on.

"So, those two are back together. Blargh."

Then a woman's voice, "They were never estranged, or divorced. One of them tossed in a jail cell or locked away…"

You might think I would be embarrassed, being walked in on like that. But I was mostly relieved it wasn't my mother. Being a ghost—being a ghost who'd made the decision to come back and haunt me this time of year, Ma could appear at any time nearby really. It was Meydiri this time, though.

The beautiful black-hided Tauren lady had a seat on my bedroll. A look of contained laughter stretched the smile on her muzzle.

She crossed her legs, bounced a hoof in the night air. "Do you know what's funny? That's the main purpose of those little things." And Mey took the glass ball right out of my satchel without asking. "Oh, don't look so innocent. I always know what you're up to. Watching Elf porn are you?"

"Royal Elf porn."

She didn't like it, however cool and forgiving she was playing. I finally picked that up. "So…" she lingered a while. I knew she was submerging that temper of hers, "Who'd have thought. Kael'thas didn't kidnap Greatfather Winter."

"Well, he helped. Or knew about it. And now he's covering it up."

"Covering for who, though? One of his Blood Knights, I bet."

"But that doesn't make sense. There's nothing that any of them has to gain from it…"

I recalled that Kael'thas was probably spying on me now. Well, not at exactly that moment, as he was erm, otherwise engaged in the royal bedroom. However, Kael'thas would know soon. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to bug all the belongings in my camp with tiny magical spying devices. So Mey and I would need to say little and work fast.

And, hopefully, it would take additional time for Kael to work out just exactly how I'd overheard him and Saturna.

Shyte. If he found that little marble I placed in his bedroom, then I really would die in a fire. I wouldn't blame him for showing no mercy over that. I needed to gather damning evidence against him and the one was covering for. Fast.

It also meant I needed to get Meydiri out of my way. She would only interfere if I told her I had decided to work with the notorious Night Elf Alessandre. And then that would be the end of our alliance; Al really didn't trust Meydiri.

Yeah, I guess it did feel like I was choosing the Night Elf over my woman. But without him, I'd be lost at this stage in the investigation. I imagined myself charging in with no pants on. Again.

Meydiri was thinking through other possibilities, "Rommath, then? Halduron? Maybe Lor'themar? They all have to be friends with Kael'thas too. And he needs them as well, whether Kael'thas likes it or not."

"Hrmph. I don't think that one has any problems getting what he wants for the holiday."

"Oh, Lor'thremar? Yeah, he's pretty sexy."

"Well. Thank you very much."

I silently decided to follow Alessandre's advice. Yes, it had to be one of the Blood Knights. So I needed a good red herring for Mey to chase, out of the way.

"Mey… Actually, can you check those leads for me?"

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

It was flimsy and foolish, and she'd see through it in about another five seconds. I silently prayed for a miracle.

"Son!"

Mommy! Thank you so much.

"Look who I ran into, these very famous, very wonderful people have invited us to dinner. But you completely forgot? I'm so sorry, Prince Belorim. If my son Turaho isn't being an ass, he's being an idiot."

"Mom—"

"I hope you don't mind." Prince Belorim had his beautiful wife with him. The stunning Tauren shamaness. My mother was about as thrilled as if she'd found me someone better to marry than Meydiri. Eventhough Dharka was married to someone else already, a Sunstrider at that. Mey picked up on Ma's jubilant mood and instantly hated this new, third Tauren woman.

I kinda hated it, too. I wanted to sleep. Or at least pretend to need sleep so that I could get away from everyone.

Al had been right. I needed to keep these ladies of mine, my little Tauren herd, mooooving.

No, don't be like that. I can make just one of those jokes, I'm sure.

I got sarcastic, I was feeling it anyway. "Oh, how could I ever forget dinner at the estate… How rude!"

"You love being rude." Mey accused.

Dharka Sunstrider bowed her white horns, curtseyed beautifully. "We are not far from here. We were worried about you missing us. But now that we see you are safe and the camp is set up well, Turaho, let us show you the hospitality that Quel'thalas originally intended."

Don't you love Tauren? Not afraid to talk about bullshit going down. All us Tauren shared a look then, that this whole Quel'thalas adventure had been a fiasco and our people deserved better.

Belorim smiled sadly, fully aware of his father Kael'thas' social blunder as well. Though I suspected Belorim was also actively covering for the other, criminal one.

I considering questioning Belorim about the kidnapping, but he wasn't going to rat out his own father. Prince Belorim had already made the decision to cover for Kael'thas, as had everyone else. Belorim had as much to lose as any of the Sunstriders. Yeah, I might catch him out in a lie and trip Belorim up. But if Kael'thas told his own wife next to nothing, and it took a fiery saber dance in bed to get Kael'thas to chirp up a sliver of another detail about it, there was no way the son knew any more than he was supposed to. Another thing, Illidan might not like me messing with the boy he'd once claimed and raised as his son, for a time.

Yeah, I know. That's me injecting foresight into the hindsight. I think. More on that later…

Belorim and Dharka's estate was… well, it was an estate! A proper castle in the forest. No wonder Kael'thas wasn't too concerned, in the end, about me camping in that part of Eversong. I was kind of on his son's vast front lawn. There weren't any walls around it that I could see, but possibly some magical barriers?

Dinner was delicious. Roasted vegetables, Mulgore plainstrider… Dharka had it very good as Tauren royalty in Quel'thalas. The house was Thalassian on the outside, but major parts of it were defiantly Tauren. The main gallery for one. It made our jaws drop to see sacred woven hangings form Mulgore set next to ancient Thalassian ones. Belorim and his Tauren wife had mingled their tastes well, managing to make everything feel raw, real, tribal. And then, in the dining room, Dharka excelled at showing off how elegant our people could also be. The finest modern carvings rested atop Thalassian red marble columns.

Belorim looks a lot like an um, Illidari, by the way. I suppose. He has horns like Illidan and hooves. But I had to keep reminding myself that Belorim wasn't a Demon Hunter. It made me sad that all this investment in their home, far away form court, also probably meant the Sunstriders preferred these two to stay out of sight, though they kept them close.

I didn't expect to enjoy myself. But there we were, well fed, in pleasant company by the time dinner and drinks were done. Mey was cozied up against my arm, hugging me by the end of the night. It was obvious what she really wanted to do once this was all over. I think she was showing me off in front of Dharka, who clearly didn't care—though I did get the tiniest inkling that she missed male Tauren company and found me fun, even attractive. And then there was Ma who had settled for angling me as the new best friend of Prince Belorim if Dharka's real, legally binding marriage to Belorim, a Blood Elf, hadn't fully sunk in for her earlier in the evening.

My mother finally rolled her eyes at Mey and sipped from her glass of wine.

We all lowered our conversation when loud horses' hooves could be heard from outside. There was a dusk blue ribbon of road at the brink of Belorim's property that we could just make out from the window.

I worried, "Those aren't Hawkstriders?"

Hooves usually meant the Alliance were coming. They weren't padded wolf paws, or booming kodo feet.

A very black carriage, four of them, were racing along like there was a war on. I'd seen skeletal warhorses before, the kind the Forsaken use, but it freaked me out to suddenly have them going down the road in the perfect forest around us. Night covered the golden land. It was presently a deep, sleepy green.

Now that I was free of the castle, I had my gun back with me, finally. I checked for it, but it was against the far wall.

Belorim laughed at our reaction. Us Tauren were almost clogging up the window, trying to look out at what we supposed was Arthas' second coming. "Oh, don't bother with that. It's just Warchief Sylvanas' holiday costume."

Prince Belorim Sunstrider's voice was getting musical. He'd been drinking very big glasses of wine all evening. I was lingering by the window of his home, imagining myself outside of it. Far, far outside of it and away down the road. By that… strawberry patch, just there.

Mey went, "Hrmph. She's not that pretty, you know."

No one dared speak against the current warchief. Especially because it was Warchief Sylvanas.

Mey tickled my elbow. But she was also getting very irritating. Mey also smelled sweet, and she was warm. I loved that I'd made her into my fiancé. Mey had started out as the embodiment of Mulgore spice bread for the evening, but she now wanted something real from me. Affection, more information… something. Now she looked up at me, and her dark eyes were intense. She was beginning to suspect that I couldn't have opted into this dinner unless I had a more practical reason.

Hours ago, when the Blood Knights came to set up my camp, Mey had evidently gone off and hiked in a large loop around the spot to ensure nobody picked up her scent—old, excellent Pathfinder trick. First, downwind of them, and by the time they left, she'd be downwind of them again. And, as luck would have it, this also made it easier for me to avoid telling her that Al was still alive and around somewhere. She might have picked him up later, but I doubted it. Mey would have laid into me, big time, if she knew I'd talked to Al and didn't have a problem with him. It would have implied our partnership.

Another dangerous thing—Mey's careful cover had been blown because Belorim and Dharka had found her in the woods and invited her to dinner. So, word would reach all of the king's Blood Knights and all the king's Magisters that my terrifying, gun-slinging Pathfinder fiancée had arrived in town to kick their asses and take names. And Mey was a pretty good sleuth too, in her own right.

Belorim stayed at the table, pouring himself another drink. Darkah offered to guide Ma through the next room, pointing out all the ceremonial objects from her travels. It was gone now, but I think the sight of the skeleton carriage, whatever-you-call-it, had upset Ma. Spirits have peculiar tastes. Sometimes, they don't like to be reminded.

I could hear from the next room that Darkah owned shamanstic objects from different groups she had met through the Earthen Ring. Only a Tauren shaman with a deep appreciation for her vocation could arranged it so well. Dar'kah had impressive access at levels few Tauren had experienced in their lifetime, being the wife of the first son of King Kael'thas Sunstrider. Belorim hadn't been spoiled as a child, but Kael'thas seemed to be making up for lost time, still, now that Belorim was older. Illidan had raised him, I learned over dinner. Tyrande and Illidan had him for a while, but then Belorim sought out his true roots—sorry, I'm rambling again. It's an even longer story than this one.*

As for the other Sunstrider prince? Prince Chao'thas had strange legal restrictions on his spending account at the Royal Exchange in Silvermoon City, though it was sickeningly generous, so don't feel sorry for him… but Belorim was free to do whatever he pleased in order to enjoy his position and keep up appearances. Probably because Belorim was humble by nature, and so was his wife.

From the other room we three heard Dar'kah saying, "Belorim doesn't agree, but I think this house would do better as a museum. We're rarely here, and this is such a profound collection of spiritual symbols, isn't it?"

Yep. It felt like a museum alright. But there was a magical Dwarf man in a cage somewhere and Kael'thas' friend didn't need to get away with it. I needed to get the fel out of there, so fast.

"Turaho… Tell me what it is. What's really out there?" Mey prodded me again, sidling up against me to kind of hem me into the window and the romantic view of the night outside. I smiled fondly at her, but then stepped away, back into polite company.

Okay, any other topic of conversation. How about the uncomfortably familiar one, "What's this Prince Belorim? Sylvanas is wearing a holiday costume? That's laughable."

"Oh no, don't tell her that. All my father's reports say the holiday invitation went straight to the Banshee Queen's head. She's delighted to have a special invitation, and to Silvermoon no less, for a royal do."

"She'll dress up as something spooky." Was I really having this conversation? I tried not to scan the room in an obvious way that Mey would notice. There had to be a discreet way out! My mind ran through the other quiet rooms of the house we passed through to get to the dinner table. Too many watchful servants in those. Too many watchful servants for only two people who probably told them all 'not to bother, I'll get it.' The things gentle souls like Belorim and Darkah would do.

"Actually, rumor has it that Sylvanas wants to appear as something fun and… erm… fetching."

"It's slutmog." Mey made everyone shudder.

"Mey, she's still our Warchief, ya know."

"It's her one chance to dance under a free moon and feel like a princess with that… Nathanos thing. And Kael'thas is technically an ex so he'll be stuck there, having to watch her. The only key players missing in the charade are her sisters."

My mother the ghost floated back into the dining room. She could do that. Darkah wasn't far behind, and she had a curious smile on her muzzle.

Ma spoke over Mey, "Forgive her, she forgets that your people nearly faced extinction that horrible day, and it's more than just some schoolhouse reunion for Sylvanas." Ma narrowed eyes at Mey to cut it out.

Mey lashed her tail once, defiant and happy to be getting on her hackles, "It'll be like old times for Sylvie, you'll see. She'll try to outdress everyone. Bits and… bobs. Bobbing everywhere…" she rolled her eyes, then smirked.

I did actually enjoy imagining it. The mean way Mey put it. Few people have the balls to take shots at Sylvanas.

My mother repeated my initial complaint, "She is our warchief."

I mediated, "Warchief doesn't mean what it used to these days, Ma."

"No, Turaho. It certainly doesn't." That clip in tone was actually for Mey. Mey still seemed happily oblivious, whisking her tail.

"Well, I shouldn't say as much but…" Darkah placed a hand on Belorim's shoulder, then she patted down the blonde hair between his coiling horns. I had to keep reminding myself that he was not Illidan, looking like that. "I did get a chance to peek at the sketches as well. I helped to arrange the party with Princess Anthene and you know how the Queen of Silvermoon usually gives people instructions on how to dress. But Sylvanas told Saturna what she intended to wear, not the other way around. We ladies of the court are going to have to turn down our own garb to not outshine the guest of honor. Red and green—No, scarlet and emerald. And… there were wings involved."

"Wings!" Mey and my mother complained at once.

"What has wings and is red and green?"

I mumbled, "I don't want to know."

Belorim smiled and had more wine. "Turaho? You're not drinking any of this?"

His father Kael'thas probably intended me to get drunk on that stuff and start confession things, but I wasn't going to allow that this time. And Belorim wasn't a good spy, either. He was doing a very good number on himself at the moment instead.

Ah well, it had been a nice meal. Also, it brought me closer to the Eastern Ridge, that area Alessandre had been talking about. The Blood Knights lived in the area. If he was good, then Alessandre was keeping an eye on me and waiting for his chance to get back in contact. That made me anxious all over again. I needed to leave.

I glanced back at Mey, who was still whipping her tail playfully. At the edge of the window, I saw a shadow. A scant look at it, but as soon as I noticed the yellow eyes, it was gone.

Yep. I knew it was my new Alliance partner.

Alright, this time, go for the obvious. "I need some air."

Mey put a hand on her round hip. "And I will go with you."

"Or, I should just stay here. Maybe get another look at that shaman collection…" that room had windows, and one of the servants just left it, since Ma and Dharka were done in there. Maybe I could get one open.

Mey huffed, "How funny. I also want to get another look at that particular room."

Mey must have seen it, too. But I don't know why it didn't disturb her, if so. The news about Alessandre still being alive nearly gave me a panic attack, when Illidan told me.

"Mey…"

"I'm about as bored as you, why not?"

My mother, just as I warned when she showed up and tried to run my investigation for me? She was not good at this game. "Well! I am not moving an inch from Princess Darkah's side. I want this evening to last forever, this is all so fascinating and charming!"

Yeah, a real investigator would never say that or miss a cue like that. Ever. At least she was having fun.

Belorim waved absently. "Oh! Let the lovebirds go off and be alone. We don't mind. We do it all the time…"

"Shush—Belorim, we have polite company!"

Ugh, both of them were starting to annoy me. They were so… nice. I imagined someone like Kael'thas being secretly nauseated by them ontop of everything else.

Mey walked ahead of me through the door to the display room, she winked. "I get the feeling Prince Belorim is a black sheep in his family in a whole other way."

"How so?" I played dumb, or into her conversation, I didn't know. I just needed to get one of these windows open or something. Didn't want to have to run out of the obvious front door if I could help it. Then they'd start complaining about how long I was taking and worse, start looking for me. Mey and I making out alone in some random room would keep them busy for a while.

All the windows were locked, I noted. Curtains drawn at the back. No second door…

"Belorim's too nice. He'll rot your teeth out. And I hear the Sunstriders are also rumored to be related to the Black Dragonflight."

"Who says!" that shocked my hocks off.

"It was a joke, Turaho." Mey reached up and flicked one of the locks on the window. These kinds of windows had the locks at the top. I didn't notice. She slid it open in the next moment. Evening outside and raining gently. "…After you?"

"You're one hot Tauren lady."

Mey went first anyway when I met her at the window, winking at me. Once I stepped outside she pulled me over and started kissing me instantly.

Ah! Now she made more sense.

"Honey, I…"

"When have I ever been your honey, Turaho? Come on, up against the wall of this snooty house will be just fine. I can't wait to soil their reputation."

She was feeling good. It had been a while.

"You're driving me crazy, Mey."

She licked my neck.

"Heh. Good girl. Wanna try that a little lower?"

"Alright. I don't mind being obedient for once."

The bushes rustled nearby us. Mey stopped, immediately started checking around.

I played along, "I… wonder what that was?"

Then, the bushes rustled on the other side.

Meydiri wasn't impressed at all. "Oh, someone's throwing stones in the bushes. We're being spied on."

So she hadn't seen the big Night Elf outside. How do you abandon a hot moment for something in the trees, and not have the woman get mad at you?

"Probably one of Saturna's Bloodknight stooges. I'll handle this."

Mey grabbed me. She didn't want me to go alone.

I lied to her, when Kael'thas would know within hours anyway, "Mey. You don't want your cover broken, remember?"

"Well they've probably already seen me."

"No, please. Let's keep up the secret sexy spy girl act a little longer. Anyway, I don't want them looking at my woman without my explicit say so."

Mey enjoyed giving me a lustful look. "However you want to play it. Player."

Oh, it was tempting to stay behind then. I slipped an arm around her waist and indulged one last kiss. The next pebble was angry and whipped past my backside. I hopped.

"I'll go and come right back. Keep it warm for me."

She crouched down and hid herself, eyeing me the whole time.

I almost tripped over my own hooves, watching that special look of hers.

When I passed into the shadows, someone nabbed me by the elbow and pulled me into some trees. It was Alessandre.

"Uh-I'm free now." I tried to whisper.

Alessandre just shook his head at me, grinning.

"Look, it's fine." I took the rolled up paper he offered, then nudged him to start walking. He agreed, though he kept checking back at Meydiri. "Is she gonna still be so friendly when you get back this time tomorrow afternoon?"

Ah, sweet, sweet, antisocial avoidance. I smiled at the idea.

"Alright, don't give me any details." Alessandre started hiking uphill. He went more smoothly in the darkness then I could. He held branches out of the way for me that I didn't know where there until I was almost ontop of them. Without him, I would have been a bumbling fool. I'dve fallen and twisted my ankle or something.

We got to the top of a moonlit hill and were able to look down over the area from there. Al waggled fingers at me and I handed the map back. He unfurled it and raised it up so that it matched our view from high up.

"Darkweavers live there, furthest out. That's Kael'thas' chief advisor." Alessandre checked to see if I knew that already.

"I hated that guy. He was so damn spooky when I first met him. And he was wearing eyeliner for some reason."

"And that's precisely why you've not made a move to question him. It'll have to be done."

"But Faltheriel is odd and makes my skin crawl beneath my fur. And that's only after I talked to him, barely, the one time." I paused, realizing it had been a front. That's what Alessandre was really getting at.

"Yes." Al didn't look like he was going to say anymore, then, "He's all kinds of wrong."

"Wait, it's something else isn't it?" Al refused to respond to my prodding him, "You have history with Kael'thas' weird advisor! You do, don't you?"

"I'm not questioning Faltheriel. It'll serve no purpose—"

"Oh, but I'm the one who has to? Why do I get stuck with it? You're not going to tell me the story, are you?"

Al moved on, "South of there, you see all these fields? Those are remnants of the Hawkstrider ranch that are still included with the Sunthraze Estate."

"Gods, imagine going there first."

"It's closest."

I dreaded facing Tempest or so-called Sunthraze the Sly again. And at this time of night.

"Then you have Lord Pyorin and Lady Daphne… Lord Fennore Hallowmare and his wife, over on that side. They're closest to the Ghostlands, though it's all good land. A crime that all his Blood Knights got doled out ancestral land when there's such a crisis. And a lot of it just sits. No farming, just lawns to look at. Animals don't even graze it—"

"Alright, you tree-hugging Night Elf. I understand what needs to be done."

"Actually, I was thinking of the Void Elves who had every right to forsake this crappy-ass system."

Right. He's Alliance.

Alessandre smiled at me. "You sure you can handle this alone? It's risky, but I could do the other half of the houses-"

"No. Kael'thas thinks your dead. It needs to stay that way. You're my only edge."

"I thought that shady Pathfinder Meydiri was your edge."

I kept him focused regarding Meydiri, "Yeah. How are you going to keep Mey and my mother off my back once they realize I'm gone?"

"Don't worry about them. I've got it covered-"

"These are women in my own family we're talking about, now. Don't get stupid."

"I won't. I promise I won't."

"Eh, if it helps… I kind of nudged Mey in the direction of Rommath, Halduron, those guys. She might go for something like that."

"No, I don't think so. Your cultist girlfriend is going to just run the other way, from Rommath."

"Alright, stop calling her a cultist. Yes, she's got hooves and horns, blah-blah, and a bad temper too. She gets accused of being a Grimtotem all the time. But that doesn't make her some demon, okay?"

Why was I trusting him with this again?

"Fine. We don't have a lot of time. Remember, hit the Sunthrazes first. They're having a little house party, so I think you can get them with their pants down. Nobody expects you to be wandering free tonight. And also be sure to ask them-"

"About the night Greatfather Winter disappeared. I know."

"No. I was going to say, ask them where the toilet is. Then, search the house. Helps if you feign some… discomfort beforehand." Al handed me a pouch of something.

"What. Are you suggesting… Is this seriously about to happen? This low-tech, sorry excuse for a—"

"Indigestion works. And if you smell, nobody's coming after you."

"I thought you were too posh and snooty for something like this, even if you are a Night Elf-Al, no. This is gross." I tried to hand whatever it was back to him.

"And, it's infallible."

Finally, I started laughing. He grinned back in the dark.

"Ah, funny… But if this is poison Alessandre, while you get some tricky Alliance lead on me, you know I'll gore you with my horns."

He raised his hands up, looking innocent.

"Fine, I'll do it." Then I lingered. Al could tell that I had more information that I was keeping back. "Al."

"Yes?"

"He… He didn't do it."

"Oh, I see. Because Kael'thas told you so?" Al hadn't needed more information, we were already on the same wavelength. That still felt good, even though he was still playing for the other team. "Well, one of his Blood Knights was told to tell you, I bet?"

I would have to explain about the scrying orbs if I was going to prove it to Al. That would've been why my gut insisted I not say anything too specific. Instinctively, I knew it would be impossible to get him on board with my proof.

"I just _believe_ in Kael'thas, Al. So much."

Ho my gods! I'm… still laughing about how I actually said that with a straight face at the time!

"Al, I really think we should pursue this the other way, as if there's another ringleader and not Kael'thas. It'll save us time, or else we'll go around in circles. Right?"

Alessandre crossed his arms tight, and narrowed glowing yellow eyes at me for a long time. Then, he simply promised to meet me afterward. After my… ordeal.

And the way he put it, too. I think that bastard secretly felt I deserved horrible gut problems for my stalward Horde beliefs.

As fortune would have it, after I was going pretty well for the while, hoofing it through the underbrush, keeping the moon above my right shoulder in the east and all that, I tripped and tumbled down a pretty little hillock and then twisted my damn ankle.

I did a very unprofessional thing and just howled about how much that hurt. I think it was really existential rage at how none of this was working out at all. The pretty Blood Elf woman that asked me to take this mission was married to the biggest bastard on the planet and she wasn't leaving him. My fiancée was actually someone I couldn't work with. My mother was here. I was being forced to work with the Alliance. Sylvanas herself was finally here. Worst of all—that damned Kael'thas! I'd have to invent something to get him locked up. So how could things possibly get worse? Things stupidly got worse anyway!

I presumed I was too far out for anyone of importance to hear me. I really should have been.

But then, I was shocked to look up after a while and see a Night Elf man and a Blood Elf standing together closeby me. They had been whispering. After I noted the green hair on the Night Elf and was sure it wasn't Al coming to help, I decided on them being spies in some giant Blood Elf-Night Elf conspiracy that would better explain Al's kindness, something I had scarcely considered in my wild imagination at points during this horrifying experience. I knew they had come to kill me.

"You must be Kael'thas' Tauren!"

"I'm not…" I winced in pain and was suddenly too tired to correct the Blood Elf man with graying red hair.

"Rach!" the Night Elf man called back behind him.

The Blood Elf waved him off, "Don't call the ladies, Dannox. Let's do this ourselves."

Louder, "Rachel!"

I sat there, wondering why the first man was being ignored.

The mature Blood Elf gentleman bent down to help, after a groan. "Don't mind him. He's… on something."

I don't think that the second Night Elf we met in this thing needed to be 'on something' like a stereotypical Night Elf you might trip over in a forest, but okay.

Then, a Human woman joined them. She covered her mouth. "By the Light, this is a _real_ Tauren."

"It's Kael'thas' Tauren…" the Night Elf called Dannox started to come over to me. Rachel—I guessed she was a wife—clawed his arm and yanked him back as if she had every entitlement to do so. Yep, that's a wife. What was the Alliance doing out here? I could tell by then that they weren't super spies or anything. They were far too silly for that. Reality had started to seep back in.

Night Elves are funny. Alessandre had been so searing at times, and at others, cruel. Kindess was something he chose to do if it suited his purpose. This new guy was all sunshine and actually seemed like he was running over to hug me.

"Dannox, will you stop!"

The Blood Elf man attempted to wedge his shoulder under my arm and get me up, "We should introduce ourselves. I'm General Nathaniel Blaize. These are our neighbors… Rachel and Dannox."

Dannox grinned like a fool and broke loose from his wife. He stepped over to me again. This time, Blaize lashed a free arm back to get him away.

Rachel had brown skin, her husband Dannox was very dark purple, similar to Alessandre. I let myself hope, for a little while, that maybe those two could be related? That would certainly help my investigation, a very deep-cover Kaldorei Rogue Network plant... But it would have been a longshot. And why would Alessandre be so desperate for me to team up with him if he already had a relative or a fellow Night Elf in the vicinity that he could pressure? Likely, Al hadn't known about this guy. So, Dannox was… well, a random, high Night Elf in the middle of this stupid, STUPID story!

Rachel cut in, "And this is Dannox. Dannox Darkweaver—Cut it out, you weird, horny druid!"

Hokaaay, that's all I needed to hear. I was getting up, twisted hock or not.

"You're injured." Blaize cautioned me to take it easy, though it was clear I'd been frightened. Yes, I'd heard about this one. Blaize had been in charge of the Sunfury Army back when Kael'thas was being wayward in Outland. Good general, worked hard. Happened to have the worst boss in all of creation who ritually embarrassed him and once nearly dropped him off the roof of the Black Temple for fun. To top it off, that was after Kael'thas also stole Blaize's wife. Saturna, you know. Mostly everyone knew that story.

The cynic in me decided there had to be a good reason why Kael'thas reacted to Blaize like oil to water all those years ago. The hand up was definitely appreciated, but I wasn't going to jump all in and trust him just yet.

He was strong for a Blood Elf. He got me moving on my hooves pretty quickly.

"Lean on me, all the way."

I was glad to.

I caught my breath, eyed giant Dannox. If I thought Alessandre was a big guy… "And what's his problem, exactly? What's he on?"

"I think that what you really want to ask is why there are members of the Alliance living in Eversong Woods?"

Smart man, Blaize.

"I'm a Sunstrider by marriage, and they are linked to Chief Advisor Faltheriel Darkweaver by marriage."

"Oh? Wait-"

"I'm married to Celestia Sunstrider." Blaize already knew I was starting to link him back up with Saturna, though that Outland scandal was ages ago, "People who are very close to Kael'thas get special privileges."

Dannox complained instantly, "I defected from the Alliance because Malfurion is a giant ass."

His wife Rachel tried to shush him.

"And you, Mrs…?"

I love being nosey by trade.

"Faltheriel is my husband."

I couldn't follow that. I wondered if it was the pain, or if I should continue prying.

Blaize watched me take that in. Or, attempt to. He smiled at me, but didn't say anything more about it.

"Alright, people. Let's get him back home."

"Whose home—" Dannox got shushed again.

It was the longest walk of all time, I think. Me leaning on a Blood Elf more than I ever wanted to, and Dannox finally becoming sensible enough to join in on the other side and help. Rachel was on edge the whole way, and I didn't want him touching me. But we three men managed it.

The Sunthraze Estate was somehow grander than Belorim's place, but not because it was larger or anything like that. A Sunstrider wanting a brand new estate in Eversong Woods would be sure to dwarf his neighbors. Belorim and Darkah had the money and connections for it. But the Sunthraze Estate was ancient. It was quiet, solid, waiting. Golden accents in the stone shone even in the darkness as we passed by.

Old torches flared in a long line, lighting our way up the back garden path. The servants weren't really ready for what all their guests were bringing home. Men in orange striped livery hesitated for a bit, but then the head man came out and confidently pointed, directing them.

A team effort of servants and Blaize giving cool, confifent orders got me on the couch in the main room, I think. Dannox was told to go to bed in one of the guest rooms, but he didn't want to… leave me. He was delivered some very black coffee that he didn't ask for.

Rachel controlled her Night Elf while Blaize and the others said they had to leave the room. I had this feeling… I could easily get sort of stuck here, right?

Rachel the Human woman had a polite seat on Dannox's knee, but then put an arm around his neck, too. I found it a little threatening.

I liked her.

"Dannox thinks you're another druid, that's why. He thinks you're friends, in a way."

I swiftly told him, direct eye contact, "I am not a druid."

Dannox sank back into the chair. "So you weren't in the Emerald Dream when…?"

"No. Never."

Dannox leaned his chin in palm. Absolutely sullen.

His wife was happier after that, "You're Turaho Runestalker? You're the one who arranged to get letters sent through from the Horde to King Anduin?"

"Mhrm. Do you make it to Stormwind ever?"

"I'm friendly with a few powerful newspapers in both factions. I'm one of those rare, modern sorts who is making a lot of money off this new, runaway, reunited Azeroth."

"Hrm."

Dannox said, "He's sleepy."

Rachel turned and swept her husband's green hair back, lovingly. "You sound tired, too."

"Is… he going to be alright?"

"Oh my, darling Dannox gets wild sometimes. It's nothing." Then, when I didn't buy it, "Mushrooms. He found some while we were out walking, and then, thankfully, we found him before he could be a total idiot."

Dannox now watched me silently.

"So, then. You two are also good friends of Kael'thas?"

Rachel only smiled goodnaturedly. Blaize came back then, with a primmer-than-most servant who offered me a hut cup of tea. I noted that it was because this guy was anxious. Probably one of those snooty sorts who never dreamed he'd be force to serve a Tauren. I eyed the orange jacket while I took my cup from him. The color made me think of Sunthraze's crazed red hair. Maybe Sunthraze the Sly thought this was funny, too.

"Our healer is down, I'm afraid." Blaize gestured at Dannox who was now sulking. "Or else, we'd fix your ankle right away."

"And I stopped being a priestess long ago." Rachel winced for me.

Blaize wondered, "There's Faltheriel?"

"No, he's not at home. And his powers tend to be more on the destructive side."

Phew! Imagine being healed by Kael'thas' frightening lapdog!

But, somehow, Blaize spoke as if he was organizing something far bigger. I worried, but it might have been just his background as a military leader, a comfortable tone of voice for him. "Faltheriel's skilled, though. I saw him switch out while we were in Outland, a couple times. I'm sure your husband could do it if he really wanted to. Let's send for him-"

"It's alright, why don't you just send for a physician? If you don't mind."

Blaize crossed his arms though, didn't do it.

No physician? Really? I felt a fool. I should have realized there would be something assholic about this man. Kael'thas and Blaize. Oil and water. Kael'thas would have been irritated by him for a reason, right? If I could reasonably argue that I needed to use the restroom and take Alessandre's weird concoction while I was at it, I decided that I wanted to lose my expensive supper all over this guy.

"Of course…" Rachel trailed fingers down her husband's arm, "There are two Blood Knights here who could probably help you, Turaho. But they're still asleep. None of us wants to wake them. Full disclosure, in case you're putting two and two together about whose house this is."

"None of you have lied to me, yet." I smiled back, feigning to be just as neighborly.

Blaize explained, "It's Sunthraze's house—it's the Sunthraze Estate, as the sign said when we all passed by it. But my son lets Queen Celestia run it, really. It's because he's really a lazy punk."

"Two queens?" I eyed Rachel, "Just like you seem to have two husbands? Is that another Blood Elf thing?"

Rachel winked at me, "It's the same as Blaize still being called general—Celestia was married to King Anasterian Sunstrider, so she keeps her title until she dies."

"You didn't answer my other question."

Rachel nuzzled into Dannox's hair, "You don't think I'm lovely enough to hold the sustained affection of two men?"

I was starting to be convinced. Rachel knew exactly what to say, and when. No, she hadn't lied to me yet, but she was doing it in the way a good scribe might, by not disclosing the edges of the story. For instance, how she knew about the courier system organized by some Tauren. Me. It made sense for Kael'thas' Blood Knights to know. Security was their business. A normal Human woman? She wasn't supposed to have an inkling.

I decided on another thing. Rachel Darkweaver knew too much, she was positioned well in both factions, Horde and Alliance, and nobody bothered her. And she was clever enough to keep two husbands, somehow. You know what I mean, not that she tricked them. But she was compelling in some other way, the kind of woman who could be sparkling and make that kind of thing happen. So she had deeper talents, a powerful sort of personality. So? She was definitely a spy. Or at least, she had great potential to become one, when called upon. For someone like her, it was probably situational. Not threatening enough for Kael'thas to have Faltheriel do anything about his wife, either. So then, Kael'thas had to know about Rachel Darkweaver and he also benefited in some way.

Double-agent.

The only thing that boggled me… Why would you want to be married to Faltheriel? Twice? The Night Elf, I think I understood. I didn't like how he tried to jump me for unsolicited hugs earlier, whatever that was, but absconding into wild mushrooms when he got in a mood, or was stressed? And letting the people who knew him, run around in the dark acting like fools? All while he, the druid, could shift into his cat form, hide, maybe sleep up in a tree for hours while getting his lazy revenge… Okay so Dannox did seem like fun.

"Turaho Runestalker." Dannox said, out of nowhere.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Filthy is actually very sweet, when you get to know him. Please don't judge him..." Rachel patted Dannox's shoulder for him to stop.

I only had to wonder about that for a moment. It was a nickname, beginning with the letter 'F'. Filthy, Faltheriel. I decided not to let my imagination wander.

"Earlier, you said he was 'not at home.' Why not just say he's at work, at the Sunspire?"

Rachel smiled again, no words.

A woman in a red dress waltzed into the room.

"Oh. Here's your healer, then." Blaize had been perched on the armrest of a chair, "Tempest, we didn't realize you were still up. This is Turaho Runestalker. We found him walking closeby in the um, garden. Lost. And he twisted his ankle in the process."

She came and sat next to me on the couch, placed a hand on my leg.

'No.' I mouthed.

"I know him already, Blaize."

She wanted to kill me. I could feel it. Tempest and I had already argued, badly. Now I was injured and in her house. I had been prepared to match words with her, but I was not prepared to be lying there like a baby bird with a friggin broken wing, before the hungry crow.

"We'll go…" Rachel began to get up.

"No. Let's get him something to drink... Didn't you have your tea?"

I was still holding it. I had a sip, I needed to calm.

They talked about the upcoming ball, about the evening. About the weather changing and then back to the holiday, how Sylvanas' costume was supposed to be amazing.

I was able to contribute that it took four carriages to deliver the thing over to the Sunspire, that Prince Belorim confirmed it. They liked that.

Tempest was patient, kind. I didn't believe I misjudged her though. Things still weren't right, somehow. I wondered when she was going to heal my leg, but then again, I also didn't want her touching me.

I also wondered when would be a good time to put the strange dried leaves Alessandre gave me into my tea, or chew one. I'd have to claim they were something else. But what if the Night Elf druid smelled them and could tell I was lying?

Well, knowing Dannox, he might see it coming but find it funny. And it's not like he'd expect me to wander all over the house after having something like that.

If I lied, maybe. If I said someone gave it to me for medicinal purposes? Dannox might go along with that if it came to it. He might let me get sick.

Tempest patted my leg again, "Something else to drink? I think our Tauren needs more…"

The wine was good. No, it was champagne. Sun-Touched special reserve. I remember Cousin Brunho warned me to watch out for the champagne… At last, Tempest felt my ankle with her little manicured and. I sensed the Light magic flowing through it. I wanted to like it. She was a very good looking woman, and she leaned in to whisper something to me.

"So, you wanna play a little game with us?"

"Hunh?"

"Don't worry. You're going to love this one."

Hours later, I woke up strapped to a bed. Things were fuzzy. I knew that she was still there. I knew that the room was small, with the windows shuttered. My Pathfinder's instinct was searching for ways to escape. But the door clicking closed, that brought me to.

Sunthraze the Sly stepped in, dragged a chair by the door and sat guard. He was in a house robe and fine navy blue, monogrammed pajamas. House shoes. Classu color, it did manage to cool him down a bit—Why was I admiring his pajamas!

Tempest paced. She tossed something from one hand to another, a glass globe. That was mine. And it was how I acted. I lurched forward in my binds, wanting it back.

Something was wrong, I know better than to dead giveaway my intentions, to give off such blatant tells.

"Ah, so you do recognize it? Took me a while to figure out how to make it larger, to actually use it." Tempest grinned at me. It was the one, very shiny seed-bead on your vest there. But this can't be the only one if it is what I think it is. Where's the other one? Back at your camp? In your kit bag?"

Shit.

Sunthraze sighed at his wife, "Don't do anything stupid, Tempest." Then she angrily turned and placed the thing in his hands, almost dumped it in her husband's lap. Sunthraze stared at it.

Sunthraze was soon offended, "How does Turaho have a spyglass in Kael'thas' bedroom?"

Kael'thas seemed very innocent now, not like before. He and Saturna were quietly discussing something. Sounded their children, then the upcoming holiday. The party. I hated them for that, where was the arguing and swords, and fire about the crime they were surely covering up! Just hours ago?

Tempest flashed anger, snatched the globe back.

"Tempest, now don't do anything—"

She turned and threw it on the floor to smash everywhere.

"…Like that." Sunthraze shook his head, sat back.

She turned her temper on me next. "So. You came here to ask us some questions?" She sounded thoroughly threatening, her voice soared like she might lose it. I looked to Sunthraze, he wasn't helping at all.

It hit me then. I'd been drugged. She'd put it in the champagne. The tea, also. 'The Tauren needs more…' she was practically bragging about it in front of me. Or, she asked one of the pumpkin-colored servants to do it. I remembered the nervous, snooty guy. Yeah, that'd be the one.

I managed to try and keep my dignity. "I did come here to find out more. I intend to. I know that one of you Blood Knights has Greatfather Winter."

But I was also in a lot of damned trouble and we all knew it.

So… two angry Blood Knights, they just learned I was spying on their king, in his bedroom. They knew I came in to question them, probably search the house.

"Sunthraze. You think he knows everything?"

Sunthraze crossed his leg, stretched out with arms folded behind his head, against the wall. "Probably does by now."

"What are our options, then?"

He was all business, as bad as any Goblin mob boss, "Thing is, love? I don't know how far even I can drag a Tauren body."

What the-How to get out of this one alive, Turaho?


End file.
